Please help me not feel guilty about selecting a repeat c-section instead of a VBAC.

[Anonymous]

I had an emergency c-section with my first. Pregnant w. no. 2. My OB - who is very VBAC-friendly - says that the choice is up to me, and that there are risks to both choices. (She has outlined the risks, and they seem about even to me and to her.) I'm leaning towards a repeat c-section, but I can't help but feel really guilty about it.

I don't want to start a huge debate here - I'm just looking for reassurance from others who have chosen a repeat c-section and felt fine or even good about it. So many posters on this board are so pro-VBAC, and I respect their opinions and choices, but I'm looking for support for mine. This choice is making my pregnancy miserable. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I had to have a c-section for #1 since he was breech. I tried everything to get him to flip. I fully intend to have a c-section with #2 and I don't feel guilty at all. Do what makes sense for you and your family.

[Anonymous]

I'm in a similar situation, slightly different where the OB prefers the repeat c-section route.

For my first, I was in labor for 18 hours, and pushed for almost 3. She was a preemie, and even so my pelvis was too small to comfortable accomodate her, and she got stuck, and we needed an emergency c. During the c-section, there were some problems with the incision/bleeding in uterus, possibly related to the fact I had pushed for so long and she had gotten stuck, possibly just from my uterus. Hard to tell.

This second time around, my OB said that while he would welcome a VBAC, he recommends a repeat c because of the issues during the first one. He feels it would be in our best interest to have everything done in a controlled environment. Despite really wanting the VBAC at first, and still being disappointed about my situation, I'm feeling much better about deciding to go with the c and not even trying.

Own your decision, sit with it for a while, talk it over with husband and friends you know will make you feel good about your choice. Then sit with it some more. Even if it means thinking about the silly reasons some people say a c might be better, if it works for you, use those reasons.

Having said all that, I'm still scared of a repeat c, as I am of a complicated vaginal. So, I'm going with my gut. I trust my OB 110% and this time around, a controlled c-section is the best choice for me.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

may I ask why you would feel guilty? This is your decision andyour baby- you know what is right. Do not look for strangers to justify. You will do what is best for you!

[Anonymous]

I chose a repeat c-section after alot of thought. I understood, in the rational, logical part of my brain, that the chances of my uterus rupturing was 1% (or less). But I couldn't bring myself to make a decision that exposed my baby to any level of risk, however small. Choosing a repeat c-section really only increased the risk to me, which I was fine with.

I went into labor before my scheduled c-section date and progressed quickly. It would have been very easy to go with a VBAC at that point, but I just couldn't do it. I am perfectly OK with the choice I made.

[Anonymous]

I had an unexpected C for # 1 and fully plan to have another C for #2. For me the c-section was really not that bad. I healed well and quickly with no complications. I already have a c-section scar, I see no need to tear up my vajayjay as well. I personally don't put a whole lot of stock in the idea that babies breathe better if they are born vaginally, as every c-section kid I know breathes just fine. All things being equal, I do agree that vaginal birth is preferable, but once you've had a c-section all things are not equal. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

[Anonymous]

I also had an elective repeat C section and it was absolutely the right decision. My first ds was nearly 2 weeks late and I never dilated. I was in labor forever and nothing was happening. I ended up with a C. Having a scheduled C the second time was such a different and way more pleasant experience than having one after laboring for many hours and being totally freaked. There is no need to feel guilty. My second DS nursed right away, gained weight before we even left the hospital, and everything was great. I think we showed up at the hospital at 5 a.m., we sat around a while, then I walked in to the ER and sat down and got the epidural, and before long, my son was born. It was all very civilized. I have no regrets. Don't sweat it.

[Anonymous]

I chose a repeat c for #2. How far along are you? Maybe time with help with what is the right option for you and you won't feel guilty anymore.

Throughhout #2 pregnancy, I kept struggling with the decision to do a repeat c for #2 or to try for a VBAC. Doctors were supportive either way. However, towards the end the pregnancy, the right decision became clear. My #2 was born at 9lbs 13 oz and I have a small pelvis. With the baby that size, I did not want to take on the risk of the rupture.

[Anonymous]

Also, having a scheduled C is great when you already have another child because you can get everything and everyone in place before you go. Very nice.

[Anonymous]

Another repeat C. We forget that if the uterus ruptures doctors may not realize that has happened immediately. A rupture jeopardizes the baby and can be "like a plane going down," as my OB said. They have a few minutes to get the baby out. Knowing that the consequences could be so dire, why would you feel guilty?

[Anonymous]

Why do you feel guilty? I had an emergency c-section with #1 and I hope to try VBAC with #2 but only because i thought the csection really sucked b#tt.

[Anonymous]

It's interesting to me that you're posting about feeling guilty for opting for a 2nd c-section. I had an emergency C for my first and feel guilty for wanting a VBAC for my 2nd. It's a tough decision. For me, I would like a VBAC because ultimately I want 3-4 children and think 3-4 c-sections is a lot of wear and tear on your body. As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing to feel guilty about for scheduling a 2nd C.

[Anonymous]

I think the data is pretty supportive of VBAC BUT I don't think this is something you should feel guilty about, either, the difference isn't THAT huge and if it is the decision you feel more comfortable with, I'd go for it. Coming from a natural birther, etc.

[Anonymous]

This sort of thing is really curious to me. WHY do people feel guilty about stuff like this? Is there not other things to focus on in life? This is a MESSAGE board folks. This is not your life, we are not your friends and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another repeat C. We forget that if the uterus ruptures doctors may not realize that has happened immediately. A rupture jeopardizes the baby and can be "like a plane going down," as my OB said. They have a few minutes to get the baby out. Knowing that the consequences could be so dire, why would you feel guilty?

You must not have seen the new reccomendation that ACOG put out yesterday, as reflected by what the NIH has come to conclustion about based on real data. Studies are supporting what a minority of women have known all along, a VBAC is safer than doing for another section.