I should have known this was going to happen!

[Anonymous]

Our son has been waitlisted for a preschool in Alexandria. We started to get frustrated with the long wait list and decided to get a nanny. We interviewed quite a few people and found a warm, kind, flexible, punctual woman-cooks my son homemade lunches (husband eats leftovers), takes him to the park, reads to him, cleans up after him, and talks to him in French. The school called today with an opening. I politely told them we found an alternative, hung up the phone, and then began to second guess myself. He'd be with lots of other children, have an art and music class, a spanish class...but he's only 15 months, he's doing well with this person, and I can't find ONE thing I don't like about our nanny-not one! It's getting nice outside, he can enjoy the park-and enjoy being a baby I've decided to continue with our nanny, my husband said it's my decision, although he likes the fact if our son were in school, he'd have more free time in the am. I just can't find anything I don't like about our arrangement-and I want what's best for our son, not what's best for us. Did I make the right decision? I feel in my heart I did-but I feel bad that my husband doesn't have more time to devote to his hobby (money making hobby). But this isn't about us-and it's been working for all of so far. I know this is the first of many decisions.

[Anonymous]

It's so hard. Our 14-month-old is in daycare and every day I wonder if he'd be better off with a nanny. He's at a good place w/loving caregivers and other kids to hang out with. And yet...there's noise, there's institutional food, and there are the inevitable germs. I'd say if you got a great situation, stick with it and feel happy. You can always make changes down the road. I'm beginning to think the best thing would be a mix of daycare and nanny. If only we could afford it!

[Anonymous]

Perhaps you two should meet up and split one daycare slot and the time of this great nanny... Just an idea..

[Anonymous]

FWIW i think you made the right choice. He's so young! The nanny can arrange playdates if needed.

[Anonymous]

Keep the nanny, and forget the school for now. If he is 15 months, he just needs nurturing, not colds from other kids.

[Anonymous]

If your baby is happy, and you are happy stick to it! You have a wonderful situation KNOWING your baby is well cared for. Just b/c the center is fancy with some sort of great reputation does not mean that it will be any better than the healthy situation you have now. If you are concerned about interaction why not sign the nanny up for a class a week at a kids gym or find some library story times or even a playgroup? I started DS in daycare at 19mos (I was home till then) and he was very happy and we always had friends to play with. My DS is 2 and loves being in daycare now, but I'll tell you the advantages to us if he were home with a nanny:

1. His daycare serves what I consider junk food. It is home cooked to a point, but he had his first hotdog, jarred fruit coctail, and chicken nugget there which I consider junk.
2. He often times comes home over stimulated and exhausted from all the intense play. This makes for a very difficult family dinner and many meltdowns-not pleasant and he's only there from 9am-3pm, mostly 4xs a week.
3. He is sick CONSTANTLY, part of this is just him, but part of it is simply other kids. I miss quite a lot of work.
4. He has learned to be a bit selfish with his toys and I know he learned this from having to steak out his territory at daycare. This is not necessarily bad, but I don't think it was a lessen he needed to learn so young.

There are a lot of wonderful things he's gotten out of daycare, but overall, if I had been able to stay home, I think with a little effort of getting out of the house daily could have provided the same things and even more in some respects.

I strongly discourage you from taking your child out of a situation they are adjusted and happy with. Change is not so great at this age, consistency is the best for them. They have the rest of their life for school, let him be a baby and get the one on one he deserves and be happy you can affort to provide this!

[Anonymous]

Also, I regret giving up a good nanny for what I thought was good daycare. My ds cries every day when I take him to "school".

[Anonymous]

The fortunate thing is that you know that your son is in a wonderful situation with the nanny. It really doesn't sound like there is a wrong choice--both situations would be enriching in different ways. But the nanny is a known commodity and you have observed her interactions with your son and truly you wouldn't have made the choice that you did if you didn't sense something special there. You'll always second guess--if you put him in the preschool I imagine you would always wonder about the nanny and what that would have been like. You just have to go with your gut. Like PP said, he's only 14 months, nothing is set in stone and he'll be fine no matter what you decide. Regardless, it sounds like he has a wonderful and loving nanny and that's a great thing!

[Anonymous]

At 15 months, your son would not be in preschool. 15 month-olds go to daycare, not school. And there are many wonderful daycares to choose from, where you will find warm, responsible, and kind caregivers. But, at 15 mos, the choice for your son is not school or nanny; it's daycare or nanny.

You absolutely made the right decision. You want your son's first experience with "school" to be a positive one. If you have been lucky enough to find a wonderful nanny and you can afford it--good for you. It sounds like you went with your gut--that's good parenting! Your DH will--should?--get over it and do what's best for DS.

[Anonymous]

Thank you so much for you opinions and thoughts!! I spent last night talking to family and friends, couldn't sleep...and finally came to the conclusion it's best for our son to keep our nanny. He's doing so well, is happy, and she's so good to him. He's definitely going to start preschool when he's 3, so for right now, he can enjoy being home, with our dog and his "stuff". Again, thank you for helping me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 15 months, your son would not be in preschool. 15 month-olds go to daycare, not school. And there are many wonderful daycares to choose from, where you will find warm, responsible, and kind caregivers. But, at 15 mos, the choice for your son is not school or nanny; it's daycare or nanny.

You absolutely made the right decision. You want your son's first experience with "school" to be a positive one. If you have been lucky enough to find a wonderful nanny and you can afford it--good for you. It sounds like you went with your gut--that's good parenting! Your DH will--should?--get over it and do what's best for DS.

OP here. That was also another thought I had. It's not really "school" at this stage, it is more like daycare. I have nothing against daycare, I have friends who children are in daycare and they love it, but this arrangement is working very well and my son is happy. I took my husband and I out of the equation, and when I did that, it's best if we keep our nanny. He can start preschool when he's 3.