[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The worst part is OP its making it unnecessarily hard for her kid(s) to socialize. And even if your kids are prefectly nice, one wants to engage with the Red Flag Mama [/quote]
Red Flag Mamas are a hard no for me. Their kids can be really nice but I only let my kids play with them at school because I don't want to have to coordinate a playdate with RFM.[/quote] Nice projection, Red Flag “Mama”! p.s.: Mama? Really? |
+1 |
She could have just let it roll off her back and been as unbothered as she claims. |
The only information we have is they all have kids at the same school. This doesn’t sound like everyone on her street but her, all the other girl moms in the class, all the team moms but her, all the PTA moms but one, etc. 15 moms from one school means a whole lot of people were excluded. |
She could’ve done a backflip with corks in her ears too, but this is irrelevant. |
Everyone’s being a little hard on OP. I can imagine scenarios where it would be clearly clique-y - what if half of that group is at the OPs bus stop or some other type of group, where they all planned something together & saw OP that morning but did not extend the invite? We don’t know the details, if OP feels there was an awkwardness about it, I believe her.
No, you don’t have to invite everyone to everything. But there are people who can be clique-ish, & this may be one of those situations. It can be tricky navigating adult friendship groups. |
DP. It very much sounds like something similar. |
I’ve gotten to the point in my life and self acceptance that I honestly don’t care if my kids’ friends’ moms are hanging out without me. I’d rather not anyway. As long as my kid is included. That’s the part that sucks |
+1 Except that she has people on her side too. |
+1 OP, you need to arrange you own group, and stop worrying so much about who is doing what without you, OP. Chances are, you are not missing anything at all. If you think you are, arrange your own group for coffee, tea, drinks, dinner, whatever. Why is that so difficult? You are an adult - time to adult! As long as your intent is good and not devious, sneaky, underhanded, manipulative, etc. Some moms are just social, and accustomed to being around big groups of low-drama people. OTOH, some (other) moms want to be included to align their kids up with certain other kids, or maybe slide their kid in where someone else's kid might be (to the other kid's detriment). Or sometimes they let someone else be invited/slide in that would not get along with an original invitee, and cause unnecessary drama, because they like drama, whether or not they admit it. I have seen both, and the moms that do (the latter) inevitably feign oblivious, but tend to fault others for imaginary slights or grievances. THAT would be really low, OP. As long as that is not your intention, as long as your intentions are good (and not looking for drama), go ahead and socialize to your heart's desire! You have to control your own life, no one else is going to arrange your social calendar for you. |
I agree, but I find this fascinating, truly. What is this about, exactly? Are people so socially stunted in this area?? Because it strikes me as particularly odd. I don't need anything from a MLM mom, just saying hi, that's it, nothing more. You know, like normal humans do. |
Wow, why did you choose that name? it sounds like you have a personal target and personal vendetta. Fascinating. |
Or they're Australian |
A bit off topic, but I am very interested in interpretation and frequency at which people see the bolded when interacting with the grown ups. I grew up outside of the United States and have never seen a grown up enter the conversation of a group of adults and start a new topic with their back turned to another person and then continue to ignore that person. There was plenty of other rude behavior where I come from , just never observed this one and never heard anyone else mention it until I saw PP’s post. The thing is, this has been happening to our family by a single family of neighbors ever since we moved in a long time ago. They seem nice and friendly enough one-on-one, but the moment another neighbor enters, they turn their back and exclude us as if we are not present. Even after so many years, the behavior continues. I find the behavior shockingly rude and don’t get why someone would this. Please don’t take my next question wrong, plenty of rudeness (and nothing too peachy either) from the place where I was born. I am just genuinely curious whether this is something that has a bigger message in United States or is this a simple case of people showing they don’t like you in a rude manner. Like I said, I’ve never seen or experienced or even heard about this before until I read PP’s comment (yes, as one off, but not as a habitual treatment). |
I don’t get it. You joined pta, you and your kid were included in most things. You feel one woman was rude. What’s with there to see? |