Why have 3+ kids if you can’t afford a babysitter?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We've been invited to 2 child free weddings. Guess what? We're not going. I'm not flying my kids someone to sit in a hotel room with a babysitter.

I wish you could see how insane this is.

You either can’t afford a babysitter and so you are missing out on life events or you have a psychological problem and can’t separate yourself from your children.

Babysitters are a fortune. That money is better off in the college fund. Not missing out.

I’d rather have stuck to 2 rather than 3+ kids if it meant I couldn’t afford a babysitter to attend my friends’ and family weddings.

If your friend claimed she couldn’t come to your wedding because she couldn’t afford a babysitter, it’s probably because she would *actually* prefer to hang out with her kids and watch a movie or play a board game than go to your wedding. Sorry.

This is a different level of insane. It seems some people on this board don’t realize that they don’t have to do everything together with their kids 100% of the time. It’s a psychological issue if you can’t separate yourself from your children.

It’s also a cost issue. For a few hours it could be $100. That may be nothing to you but a lot to others.

Right, so you can barely afford your children. That’s what this post is all about. Thanks for illustrating it so succinctly.

[Anonymous]

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Like who? Most people in DC, like us, have no family here. I would not trust a complete stranger to watch my kids for several days.

It’s called a nanny.

Do you just go everywhere together? Like a gypsy tribe?

What a circus.

They walk 5 abreast everywhere they go clogging aisles in grocery stores, Costco, sidewalks, etc. it would never occur to them to have one parent shop and the other stay home. It’s a big event.

You don't want them to bring the kids in public but you will also be the first to complain if they never learn how to behave in public.

Well you won’t teach them because you clog the aisles and are oblivious to everyone around you.

So do boomers. Maybe they should stay home with a babysitter too.

Reported for ageism. What if the poster had substituted the word blacks? An ism is an ism.

Great. Maybe you should report this whole thread for child-ism. It’s exactly the same thing

Not really. Kids grow out of being kids. The elderly don’t grow out of being elderly—they just become more and more elderly. Until they die.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We've been invited to 2 child free weddings. Guess what? We're not going. I'm not flying my kids someone to sit in a hotel room with a babysitter.

I wish you could see how insane this is.

You either can’t afford a babysitter and so you are missing out on life events or you have a psychological problem and can’t separate yourself from your children.

Babysitters are a fortune. That money is better off in the college fund. Not missing out.

I’d rather have stuck to 2 rather than 3+ kids if it meant I couldn’t afford a babysitter to attend my friends’ and family weddings.

If your friend claimed she couldn’t come to your wedding because she couldn’t afford a babysitter, it’s probably because she would *actually* prefer to hang out with her kids and watch a movie or play a board game than go to your wedding. Sorry.

This is a different level of insane. It seems some people on this board don’t realize that they don’t have to do everything together with their kids 100% of the time. It’s a psychological issue if you can’t separate yourself from your children.

It’s also a cost issue. For a few hours it could be $100. That may be nothing to you but a lot to others.

Right, so you can barely afford your children. That’s what this post is all about. Thanks for illustrating it so succinctly.

No one gets a babysitter to go to Costco. You are delusional. Your views are also delusional.

[Anonymous]

Op sounds like someone that wanted 3 kids but couldn’t have them. No one is bother by big families like Op is.

- mom of one (by choice)

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've been invited to 2 child free weddings. Guess what? We're not going. I'm not flying my kids someone to sit in a hotel room with a babysitter.

I wish you could see how insane this is.

You either can’t afford a babysitter and so you are missing out on life events or you have a psychological problem and can’t separate yourself from your children.

Babysitters are a fortune. That money is better off in the college fund. Not missing out.

I’d rather have stuck to 2 rather than 3+ kids if it meant I couldn’t afford a babysitter to attend my friends’ and family weddings.

If your friend claimed she couldn’t come to your wedding because she couldn’t afford a babysitter, it’s probably because she would *actually* prefer to hang out with her kids and watch a movie or play a board game than go to your wedding. Sorry.

This is a different level of insane. It seems some people on this board don’t realize that they don’t have to do everything together with their kids 100% of the time. It’s a psychological issue if you can’t separate yourself from your children.

It’s also a cost issue. For a few hours it could be $100. That may be nothing to you but a lot to others.

Right, so you can barely afford your children. That’s what this post is all about. Thanks for illustrating it so succinctly.

Or just have different priorities…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op sounds like someone that wanted 3 kids but couldn’t have them. No one is bother by big families like Op is.

- mom of one (by choice)

I agree with this. I have two kids and OP sounds very triggered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s baffling to me why people choose to have three or more kids while they don’t have childcare options and can’t afford a babysitter in regular basis.

They end up tagging those 3-4 kids everywhere they go.

One kid has a music instrument class? All five of them go and then wait for that one.

Adult gathering for like a poker night or a sports event? Bring along the kids as inconvenient for everyone involved as it may be.

Wedding? RSVP for six of us. We can’t leave kids home alone.

It’s a hug inconvenience it just for them, but for others, as well.

What did you think it was going to be like?

3 kid parent here who can afford babysitting, has family locally, and now has one kid old enough to watch her siblings on occasion for short periods. Why in the world would it be a problem if I bring my kids to music class and have them play quietly in the waiting area? Same with sports and other classes. If one of my kids is doing a kid thing, the other kids are probably going to be along. They play together or I entertain them or they read. So?

Adult gatherings and weddings I get the issue, but some the things you are expecting people not to bring their kids along for are insane.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you don't want kids at your event, then don't invite them, problem solved. For other spaces, mind your own business and stop being such a misanthrope. Kids probably don't like you there either, given how much you seem to dislike them. The problem is completely symmetrical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:We've been invited to 2 child free weddings. Guess what? We're not going. I'm not flying my kids someone to sit in a hotel room with a babysitter.

I wish you could see how insane this is.

You either can’t afford a babysitter and so you are missing out on life events or you have a psychological problem and can’t separate yourself from your children.

Babysitters are a fortune. That money is better off in the college fund. Not missing out.

I’d rather have stuck to 2 rather than 3+ kids if it meant I couldn’t afford a babysitter to attend my friends’ and family weddings.

If your friend claimed she couldn’t come to your wedding because she couldn’t afford a babysitter, it’s probably because she would *actually* prefer to hang out with her kids and watch a movie or play a board game than go to your wedding. Sorry.

This is a different level of insane. It seems some people on this board don’t realize that they don’t have to do everything together with their kids 100% of the time. It’s a psychological issue if you can’t separate yourself from your children.

It’s also a cost issue. For a few hours it could be $100. That may be nothing to you but a lot to others.

Right, so you can barely afford your children. That’s what this post is all about. Thanks for illustrating it so succinctly.

No, we all have priorities. So while you demand aid for college all that money we saved will go to college. I don’t need someone to care for mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

+100. It is. Why is someone who doesn’t think it is appropriate for kids to be in grocery stores, sports practice, weddings, and music class posting this on a parenting forum? Children are not abhorrent. Your ideas about children are abhorrent.

If you go around with a gypsy tribe that’s loud, obnoxious and takes up most of the space it’s not appropriate to create a nuisance in public.

It’s always the case that the parents of big families completely check out. They don’t have energy to get their kids to behave and adopt “kids will be kids” attitude when creating a nuisance for everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Some people love to breed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

3 kid parent here who can afford babysitting, has family locally, and now has one kid old enough to watch her siblings on occasion for short periods. Why in the world would it be a problem if I bring my kids to music class and have them play quietly in the waiting area?

That’s the delusion that parents like you have -you think your kids are quiet just because they’re screaming a couple decibels lower than at home.

And no, that’s not true, you don’t entertain your kids either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you don't want kids at your event, then don't invite them, problem solved. For other spaces, mind your own business and stop being such a misanthrope. Kids probably don't like you there either, given how much you seem to dislike them. The problem is completely symmetrical.

I don’t invite them, but people bring them anyway because they can’t afford a babysitter.

[Anonymous]

We had a kid drawn in our neighborhood pool because they were invited for a birthday party and the mom, a mother of five, assumed like at any other party she could just checkout and not watch the kid.

You know, how they always just drop them to free range assuming otherwise people will be supervise your kids?

[Anonymous]

"Why even have kids, one of the most central sources of meaning in most people's lives, if you can't afford totally elective luxuries to make parenting easier?"

"Why even have kids if you can't afford a top of the line stroller and use hand me down clothes?"

"Why even have kids if you can't afford private schools or a home in a 10/10 school district?"

"Why even have kids if you can't provide for them because two of them may have to share a room at some point?"

If you can't figure this out, OP, maybe try finding good examples of people with a heart and at least pretending to act like them.