If you have a top student who chose GMU, how did you get over the comments/looks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations. I've noticed comments/reactions from PARENTS more than kids pertaining my son's decision. I shouldn't be surprised but it's amazing how easily people will express their unfiltered opinion.

The PARENTS are caught in a time warp and have no idea what GMU and it’s four campuses have become. The students know better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you everyone! The kind words have been helpful to my son and me. I showed him this thread. He didn't love that I asked the question, but he appreciated the responses. To answer some questions that were posed to me:

Someone asked what type of therapy he receives: He started seeing a therapist when he was first diagnosed in 7th grade. We started with CBT but as he has aged it is now more supportive Psychotherapy.

Someone asked if he is second guessing his choice: He is not. The decision is made. Money has been paid. He is happy with his choice. He just felt a certain way about reactions to his choice and wasn't sure how to handle them. I know many suggested he ignore it, and everyone is correct. However, if you know someone with ADHD you know they tend to accentuate the negative.

Someone asked if I was the one with the problem and not DS: I am thrilled he chose GMU. Likely for selfish reasons. I spent years worrying if this kid could truly live far from home. Time has shown me he absolutely can and I would have supported him if he made that choice. But I am glad he chose to be near, just in case. And I was serious when I said he can choose to see us daily or never. This is his time to spread his wings, and we will not infringe on his space just because he is nearby. He will control how often he sees us. I do hope for a weekly or biweekly phone call but maybe that's asking a lot. That said, the comments do affect me. I'd be lying if I said they did not. I know better but it still hurts. So yes, part of the question was to help me get over it too.

I think I answered all the questions that were asked. I REALLY appreciate this thread. People were kind and helpful. Special thanks to the poster who wrote about their experience with GMU accommodations. I hope people continue to share positive GMU experiences in here for other families looking at it as an option for them.

That was me. Happy to answer any questions but my experience is now somewhat dayed

[Anonymous]

^^ dated!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is a top student. 1580 SAT. Also took ACT and scored 35. He was accepted to all the schools he applied to and he did not apply to many: GMU, Pitt, VaTech, JMU, VCU, UMD, and WPI. He wants to choose GMU Honors for (1) cost savings and (2) location. We live maybe 35 minutes away. He will live on campus. He can see us every day or never, it's up to him. He has ADHD. He likes his therapist and doesn't want to lose her, he doesn't want to worry about access to his meds, and he takes solace in us being near just in case he needs support. The problem is everyone thinks he is throwing his talent away and they look down on him for his choice. I've heard his friends tease him about it. Many chose UVA, VATech, JMU. W&M. I am proud of him for choosing what is best for him. How do I help him be comfortable and confident in his decision?

Op, you have the smartest kid! My student has ADD and even though he could have applied to more of the glam places (act 35/GPA 4) chose a school locally. The condescending looks from peers and other parents were a bit hard to handle. But once graduation was done, it stops. And he is so happy with his choice. and we have some mental peace.

[Anonymous]

People always tend to disparage schools that are in their own backyard despite their quality. It’s the whole Town vs Gown phenomenon. Take any school in VA and the locals will look down on the students, even in Charlottesville and Blacksburg.

George Mason is a young university by most standards but has dramatically improved over the years to have nationally recognized programs. Unfortunately, some locals don’t understand that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you everyone! The kind words have been helpful to my son and me. I showed him this thread. He didn't love that I asked the question, but he appreciated the responses. To answer some questions that were posed to me:

Someone asked what type of therapy he receives: He started seeing a therapist when he was first diagnosed in 7th grade. We started with CBT but as he has aged it is now more supportive Psychotherapy.

Someone asked if he is second guessing his choice: He is not. The decision is made. Money has been paid. He is happy with his choice. He just felt a certain way about reactions to his choice and wasn't sure how to handle them. I know many suggested he ignore it, and everyone is correct. However, if you know someone with ADHD you know they tend to accentuate the negative.

Someone asked if I was the one with the problem and not DS: I am thrilled he chose GMU. Likely for selfish reasons. I spent years worrying if this kid could truly live far from home. Time has shown me he absolutely can and I would have supported him if he made that choice. But I am glad he chose to be near, just in case. And I was serious when I said he can choose to see us daily or never. This is his time to spread his wings, and we will not infringe on his space just because he is nearby. He will control how often he sees us. I do hope for a weekly or biweekly phone call but maybe that's asking a lot. That said, the comments do affect me. I'd be lying if I said they did not. I know better but it still hurts. So yes, part of the question was to help me get over it too.

I think I answered all the questions that were asked. I REALLY appreciate this thread. People were kind and helpful. Special thanks to the poster who wrote about their experience with GMU accommodations. I hope people continue to share positive GMU experiences in here for other families looking at it as an option for them.

Were these rude comments in person or posed as "jokes" on social media?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is a top student. 1580 SAT. Also took ACT and scored 35. He was accepted to all the schools he applied to and he did not apply to many: GMU, Pitt, VaTech, JMU, VCU, UMD, and WPI. He wants to choose GMU Honors for (1) cost savings and (2) location. We live maybe 35 minutes away. He will live on campus. He can see us every day or never, it's up to him. He has ADHD. He likes his therapist and doesn't want to lose her, he doesn't want to worry about access to his meds, and he takes solace in us being near just in case he needs support. The problem is everyone thinks he is throwing his talent away and they look down on him for his choice. I've heard his friends tease him about it. Many chose UVA, VATech, JMU. W&M. I am proud of him for choosing what is best for him. How do I help him be comfortable and confident in his decision?

Is he second guessing his decision?

And are these truly his preferences on college? Because they sound weak. Therapists can do virtual appts. If he's in-state there won't be any issue w/med access. And it's not like the other schools are all that far away.

See, OP, people like this are the ones who should cause you to roll your eyes and ignore.

Why? They are legit questions.

Those are weak/nonexistent factors for choosing between these schools. They seem fabricated.

Moms who would go to the trouble to write a thread like this likely had a heavy hand in driving their kid’s decisions. If she thinks he needs to help with this then there is no way she sat back during the application/decision process.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, the best thing it could have done was keep the UVA branding. That university would have basically been akin to UCLA. But there is no time machine to explain how college branding would have worked in 1972x

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is a top student. 1580 SAT. Also took ACT and scored 35. He was accepted to all the schools he applied to and he did not apply to many: GMU, Pitt, VaTech, JMU, VCU, UMD, and WPI. He wants to choose GMU Honors for (1) cost savings and (2) location. We live maybe 35 minutes away. He will live on campus. He can see us every day or never, it's up to him. He has ADHD. He likes his therapist and doesn't want to lose her, he doesn't want to worry about access to his meds, and he takes solace in us being near just in case he needs support. The problem is everyone thinks he is throwing his talent away and they look down on him for his choice. I've heard his friends tease him about it. Many chose UVA, VATech, JMU. W&M. I am proud of him for choosing what is best for him. How do I help him be comfortable and confident in his decision?

Is he second guessing his decision?

And are these truly his preferences on college? Because they sound weak. Therapists can do virtual appts. If he's in-state there won't be any issue w/med access. And it's not like the other schools are all that far away.

Have you had an ADHD kid, one who lacks exec functioning? They are not like a typical 18 yo. Anxiety often goes along with it (OP didn't state that, but it's often a part of the package), and when things dont go well it can spiral out of control rather quickly. Especially for a boy, they are likely more like a 14-15yo than an 18yo in terms of overall maturity/decision making ability/brain development, despite how they may appear to others (as the OP stated as well). The transition to college, even if well managed in HS is a HUGE step. If the kid feels more comfortable being closer to home and in person therapy, the kid is smart and knows what he wants/needs. Being 2 hours away could be enough to undo his successes, so why not attend the nearby excellent school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is a top student. 1580 SAT. Also took ACT and scored 35. He was accepted to all the schools he applied to and he did not apply to many: GMU, Pitt, VaTech, JMU, VCU, UMD, and WPI. He wants to choose GMU Honors for (1) cost savings and (2) location. We live maybe 35 minutes away. He will live on campus. He can see us every day or never, it's up to him. He has ADHD. He likes his therapist and doesn't want to lose her, he doesn't want to worry about access to his meds, and he takes solace in us being near just in case he needs support. The problem is everyone thinks he is throwing his talent away and they look down on him for his choice. I've heard his friends tease him about it. Many chose UVA, VATech, JMU. W&M. I am proud of him for choosing what is best for him. How do I help him be comfortable and confident in his decision?

Is he second guessing his decision?

And are these truly his preferences on college? Because they sound weak. Therapists can do virtual appts. If he's in-state there won't be any issue w/med access. And it's not like the other schools are all that far away.

See, OP, people like this are the ones who should cause you to roll your eyes and ignore.

Why? They are legit questions.

Those are weak/nonexistent factors for choosing between these schools. They seem fabricated.

Moms who would go to the trouble to write a thread like this likely had a heavy hand in driving their kid’s decisions. If she thinks he needs to help with this then there is no way she sat back during the application/decision process.

Seriously, you obviously have never had anything but a neurotypical kid. Consider yourself lucky, and I for one am thankful you don't have a non-neurotypical kid because you would not be a very supportive parent to get them help for what they need.

Until you have a kid with ADHD/EF issues (and possibly Anxiety/depressions/etc and all the co-factors that often go along with them), you truly do NOT understand what it is like. They are smart kids who have to work 3x as hard as a typical kid to get to where they are in today's school systems. When things work well, all is good. Disrupt it a bit and they can spiral downward quickly.

[Anonymous]

just ignore the idiots.

every person has his or her own reason for choosing a school. it is a personal decision. no need to take into account everyone else's opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is a top student. 1580 SAT. Also took ACT and scored 35. He was accepted to all the schools he applied to and he did not apply to many: GMU, Pitt, VaTech, JMU, VCU, UMD, and WPI. He wants to choose GMU Honors for (1) cost savings and (2) location. We live maybe 35 minutes away. He will live on campus. He can see us every day or never, it's up to him. He has ADHD. He likes his therapist and doesn't want to lose her, he doesn't want to worry about access to his meds, and he takes solace in us being near just in case he needs support. The problem is everyone thinks he is throwing his talent away and they look down on him for his choice. I've heard his friends tease him about it. Many chose UVA, VATech, JMU. W&M. I am proud of him for choosing what is best for him. How do I help him be comfortable and confident in his decision?

Is he second guessing his decision?

And are these truly his preferences on college? Because they sound weak. Therapists can do virtual appts. If he's in-state there won't be any issue w/med access. And it's not like the other schools are all that far away.

Have you had an ADHD kid, one who lacks exec functioning? They are not like a typical 18 yo. Anxiety often goes along with it (OP didn't state that, but it's often a part of the package), and when things dont go well it can spiral out of control rather quickly. Especially for a boy, they are likely more like a 14-15yo than an 18yo in terms of overall maturity/decision making ability/brain development, despite how they may appear to others (as the OP stated as well). The transition to college, even if well managed in HS is a HUGE step. If the kid feels more comfortable being closer to home and in person therapy, the kid is smart and knows what he wants/needs. Being 2 hours away could be enough to undo his successes, so why not attend the nearby excellent school.

Huh?

I actually have two kids with ADHD, one inattentive and one severe combined with IEP, meds, therapy, etc. That is how I know about access to meds and therapy. Being a little farther away in VA is no big deal for those things. That’s why they sound like bogus reasons.

If that is the kid’s true preference, great. But it sounds like OP was driving the decision based on how she worded her post. And frankly posting about it at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, the best thing it could have done was keep the UVA branding. That university would have basically been akin to UCLA. But there is no time machine to explain how college branding would have worked in 1972x

UVAF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is a top student. 1580 SAT. Also took ACT and scored 35. He was accepted to all the schools he applied to and he did not apply to many: GMU, Pitt, VaTech, JMU, VCU, UMD, and WPI. He wants to choose GMU Honors for (1) cost savings and (2) location. We live maybe 35 minutes away. He will live on campus. He can see us every day or never, it's up to him. He has ADHD. He likes his therapist and doesn't want to lose her, he doesn't want to worry about access to his meds, and he takes solace in us being near just in case he needs support. The problem is everyone thinks he is throwing his talent away and they look down on him for his choice. I've heard his friends tease him about it. Many chose UVA, VATech, JMU. W&M. I am proud of him for choosing what is best for him. How do I help him be comfortable and confident in his decision?

Is he second guessing his decision?

And are these truly his preferences on college? Because they sound weak. Therapists can do virtual appts. If he's in-state there won't be any issue w/med access. And it's not like the other schools are all that far away.

Have you had an ADHD kid, one who lacks exec functioning? They are not like a typical 18 yo. Anxiety often goes along with it (OP didn't state that, but it's often a part of the package), and when things dont go well it can spiral out of control rather quickly. Especially for a boy, they are likely more like a 14-15yo than an 18yo in terms of overall maturity/decision making ability/brain development, despite how they may appear to others (as the OP stated as well). The transition to college, even if well managed in HS is a HUGE step. If the kid feels more comfortable being closer to home and in person therapy, the kid is smart and knows what he wants/needs. Being 2 hours away could be enough to undo his successes, so why not attend the nearby excellent school.

Huh?

I actually have two kids with ADHD, one inattentive and one severe combined with IEP, meds, therapy, etc. That is how I know about access to meds and therapy. Being a little farther away in VA is no big deal for those things. That’s why they sound like bogus reasons.

If that is the kid’s true preference, great. But it sounds like OP was driving the decision based on how she worded her post. And frankly posting about it at all.

Maybe not for your kid(s) but for many having the safety of being near home and the comforts of things not being too different can make ALL the difference for success in a non-neurotypical kid. Too many changes and some kids cannot handle it. As you should know, not all ADHD, EF lacking kids are the same....they all react to life in different ways. Some kids prefer therapy to be in-person others work just fine with online. There is not one catch all answer is all I'm stating.

[Anonymous]

It's the Koch Brothers. If you don't know, you don't know enough about the history of the school. A strong negative.