In Memory of Douglas A. Steele

My wife, Maria, grew up in the Eastern Orthodox tradition and our two sons were baptized in that religion. It is an Eastern Orthodox practice that the 40th day after a death is a day of remembering the departed. As such, I am going to devote today's post to memories of my youngest brother, Doug Steele, who drowned on January 8 while swimming in the Pacific Ocean off the coast of El Salvador. Doug was 54 and would have turned 55 had he lived two more days.

Doug was four years younger than me. When we were young, he never wanted to be left behind. Whatever I was doing, or our brother Greg was doing, Doug wanted to do it too and wouldn't take "no" for an answer. To keep up, he had to work twice as hard and do his absolute best. That imbued qualities in him that would last his entire life. At almost everything he attempted, Doug would excel. But, even if he didn't excel, he did his very best. Doug loved cross-country running and was a dedicated member of his high school team. He was short of stature and found it difficult to keep up with the long strides of the taller kids. But that didn't discourage him. He made such an impression as a runner that his high school cross-country coach traveled almost 3 hours in order to attend and speak at Doug's memorial service. As a high school wrestler, Doug set several school records and still holds the record for the most wins in his weight class. His wrestling coach described him as "the most productive wrestler in the 25-year history" of his high school.

The most impactful part of Doug's high school experience was his decision to take Spanish as a foreign language. He became a devoted student of Spanish and, true to form, excelled at learning the language. When he pursued a degree in civil engineering at the University of Illinois, Doug continued studying Spanish. One summer he participated in a study abroad program in Argentina in order to strengthen his language skills. Doug would go on to complete a master's degree at the University of Illinois before joining a Champaign-based civil engineering firm. Due to his knowledge of Spanish, Doug was included in a project in Chile involving a complete renovation of the Chilean portion of the Pan-American Highway. While living in Chile, Doug married a Chilean woman, Claudia Riffo, with whom he had a son, Lenny. Unfortunately, they would later divorce.

I have a distinct memory of a letter Doug wrote after he had been living in Chile for a while. He said that he had come to love mountains and would not want to live anywhere without mountains. But, his life's path led him back to the prairies of central Illinois. Still, any chance he could get, Doug found a way back to mountains. He hiked up Pike's Peak, through numerous mountains in Arizona, and among both the US and Canadian Rockies. In what was surely a highlight of his life, he and our brother Greg made a grueling hike up the Cierro Pirre mountain in the remote Darién National Park in Panama. Doug took on the role of organizing our family vacations and looking back, I now realize that every one of them involved mountains.

Doug enjoyed physical labor and working outside. He loved Latin America and he found helping others rewarding. He discovered a way to combine all of these interests when a friend suggested that he join a church mission to El Salvador. Doug would eventually participate in close to a dozen missions to the country. I know these missions frequently get a bad rap, but Doug worked on useful projects and put his engineering skills to good use. These were not just glorified vacations. Multiple Salvadorans spoke by video at his memorial service to express gratitude for what he had accomplished in their country.

COVID brought a halt to the missions, but Doug still maintained contact with friends and acquaintances in El Salvador. One of these was a woman to whom Doug had been attracted. After being divorced for over 20 years, Doug started a new romantic relationship which grew during trips Doug made to El Salvador over the last several months. Upon return from one such trip in the Fall, Doug told our family that their relationship was serious and hinted that they might be getting married. When our family gathered for Christmas, Doug was looking forward to another visit to El Salvador in January. Before returning to Washington, we visited him in Champaign and one of my last memories is of Doug giddily texting his girlfriend like a love-struck teenager. When Doug arrived in El Salvador, he and his girlfriend went directly to the beach, and the next day he made the ill-fated decision to go swimming amidst heavy waves. There is no good time for an untimely death of this sort, but this was a particularly cruel time in light of his new relationship.

Doug was a fairly quiet, unassuming person. But, he made an amazing impression on the world. Both personally and professionally. His memorial service was attended in person by people from all over the US and via video by residents of several countries. There was story after story describing his positive impact. He will be missed by a great many people. For my part, even forty days after Doug's death, I am still having a hard time believing that he is gone. I still expect to get a call from him and hear him laugh about the latest quandary into which he has gotten himself. Both the suddenness and finality are hard to accept. Forty days are not enough.

Doug's obituary is available here: https://www.rrstar.com/obituaries/pils0407942

A recorded video of his memorial service is available here: https://www.youtube.com/live/2PyxtKc_O8I?&t=486