An End of an Era

Maria and I have decided to shutdown the DC Urban Moms Mailing list. The mailing list was launched in 2002 and rapidly grew to be a popular resource for DC area parents, inspiring our successful website. However, in recent years use of the list has declined while the difficulty of dealing with the anti-spam policies of large email providers has increased. We've finally reached the point where the effort to maintain the list is greater than the benefits of doing so.

The very first email sent to the list was by our friend Sharon Winick on March 11, 2002. Sharon had conceived of the idea of arranging get-togethers for new moms. Sharon's initial efforts were so successful that keeping everyone informed about events became a bit of a challenge. We created a mailing list as an efficient means of distributing information about upcoming events. Sharon's second message announced the time and location of one of the group's periodic "Family Days".

However, the mailing list was soon being used to discuss a host of parenting-related topics. Membership grew far beyond expectations and activity on the list eventually exceeded what was reasonable for subscribers to process daily (it also exceeded Sharon's capacity to moderate, so she opted out). This led to the addition of discussion forums to the very basic website that existed at that time. One of the first big changes was a prohibition of posts advertising nannies or searching for nannies. Such posts had grown to be 25% of the mailing list traffic. We requested that such messages be posted in the website forums instead. Then, almost behind our backs, usage of the website forums grew leading to the current website and discussion forums.

In recent years mailing list usage declined markedly. While list membership is still pretty high with nearly 6,500 current subscribers, fewer messages are now sent in a month than we used to see in a single day. Most list traffic is "for sale" posts and we hope that subscribers who use the mailing list for such posts will now take advantage of the forums we have here for that purpose.

The biggest challenge of administering the mailing list has been dealing with the large email service providers. With notable exceptions such as Google, RCN, and AOL, I am convinced that most of the large Internet Service Providers (ISPs) and email providers wrongly emphasize prevention of incoming rather than outgoing spam. In the process, these services are often heavy-handed and make life very difficult for small services such as ours. Time after time our mail server has been blocked by a large company who is unable to demonstrate that we have sent spam, who cannot explain why we have been blocked, and who expects us to jump through multiple hoops to get the block removed.

Dealing with large email services providers has meant repeatedly proving our innocence. Just today I had to fill out another form to request removal from a block list. The block was immediately removed with the provision that traffic from our server would be limited until we had established our reputation. The list has been running for 13 years and using the same IP address for at least 5 years. Its reputation is well-established. Yet, someone sitting in a cube someplace decided -- without warning or explanation -- to treat our server like it is brand new. It is no longer worth the effort to keep going through this process.

Without the DC Urban Moms Mailing List, this website wouldn't exist. It is no exaggeration to say that it has had a life-changing impact on our family. The mailing list had a good run, but it has come to an end.