DCUM Weblog

Recently I noticed an advertisement for a nanny position that seemed a little odd. The ad purported to be from an individual named Mary Lee of London, England. The requirements were fairly simple: basic English skills and knowledge of Asian affairs. The proposed salary was £850 per week, or nearly $1,300. A very attractive offer indeed.

That this was a scam was immediately clear. It is unlikely that anyone needing a nanny in London would advertise in Washington, DC. But, if they did, the requirements would be much more stringent than those listed. However, the most obvious clue was that the message was posted from an IP address, not in London, but in Nigeria. So, having uncovered this obvious scam, I did the only rational thing someone in my position would do. I applied for the job.

Starting a couple of weeks ago, I began receiving complaints from parents who had posted nanny search advertisements in the DCUM nanny search forums. The posters were upset about the responses they had received to their messages. In almost every case, the response in question amounted to little more than an attack on the prospective employer. In the following days, it became clear that these parents were the target of a semi-organized effort to combat what some posters saw as unfair treatment of nannies.

When the phenomenon of attacking nanny search posters first came to my attention, the posts were somewhat on the primitive side and didn't suggest much of a political agenda. Here is one example:

"I am not interested in this position,because mom home does not ned a nanny.

As parents, I think we often compare the lives our children are living to the lives we had as children. Growing up, we were limited to three broadcast television channels. My kids, in contrast, can choose from over 200 channels. While I was in high school before I ever touched a computer, my five year old is already computer literate, able to enter his username and password, surf the web (parentally-controlled websites only), and play games without assistance. Also back in my childhood, milk was delivered to our doorstep by a milkman. Thanks to South Mountain Creamery, for the past year this has been one thing my kids' childhood has had in common with mine. These days, our milk is delivered to our doorstep, if not by a milkman, by the South Mountain Creamery delivery person.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be another person, to take on another identity, if only for a few hours? Thanks to the anonymous posting allowed in the DC Urban Moms and Dads forums, you can. Come follow along as we explore the recent adventures of one identity-shifting DCUM poster.

First we have the skanky single mom: "I recently started a new relationship - about 6 weeks ago and things have progressed nicely. My BF has stayed over about 3 or 4 times without the children seeing him ( I have three kids from a previous marriage)..." It's almost like it's sexual fantasy night and the cheerleader outfit is in the wash. Just to prove that this poster really wants someone to talk dirty to her (or him), the same poster replied just seven short minutes later to say "how about NOT letting random men spend the night at your house???" So, fire lit, gasoline applied, the sock puppet's work is done. But, not completely.

In the waiting room of my OB/Gyn's office, you have the choice between two piles of tattered magazines:  Working Mother or Martha Stewart Living.

I guess the message is if you're involved in babies emerging from your body, you fall into one mother camp or another.  You either have a briefcase and a breast pump, or jelly-stained jeans and a passion for decoupage.  Either read about flattering suits that travel well or how to transport 75 cupcakes while preserving their perfectly piped icing. 

It's enough to make a girl reach for the chlamydia brochure. 

Because many of us mothers don't know where we fit in - we're double agents.  Thanks to the wonderful world of telecommuting, many mothers can now call themselves Hybrid Moms (a term so handy that it serves as the name of a new magazine).  Hybrid mothers both work and care for their children during some part of the traditional work day. 

A holiday card is never just a holiday card, especially for those of us who send them out with the hastily scrawled greeting, “Oh dear God, is it February already?”

 No, the holiday cards that have been dropping into all of our mailboxes are much more than simple, heartfelt exchanges of good cheer. They’re commentaries on our families, secret glimpses into our private lives, and portals into our parenting styles.  Not to put any pressure on the cards that you would’ve already bought and stamped and addressed for 2011, if only you were as organized as all of your neighbors and friends.

 There are certain rules for holiday cards, things to be conveyed in a charming but unmistakably clear way. First off is that your kids, like those who inhabit Lake Wobegon, are all above average. The best way to showcase this without resorting to stealing the report card of the genius in their class and “accidentally” Xeroxing it into your cards, is to include a photo of your child holding aloft a chess trophy while his sibling modestly polishes his Student of the Year medal. If one of them happened to save a cat from a burning building and the Associated Press captured the moment, you could include that snapshot, too.

A disagreement between Republican legislators and President Obama over the firing of a federal inspector general has ensnared DC Public Schools Chancellor Michelle Rhee. According to a report issued by Senator Charles Grassley and Representative Darrell Issa, Rhee conducted "damage control" concerning charges that her now fiance Kevin Johnson had engaged in inappropriate sexual conduct with AmeriCorps volunteers. In addition, when Rhee learned of one allegation, she said she would make it her number one priority and take care of the situation.

The volunteers' charges were included in a criminal referral by Corporation for National & Community Service IG Gerald Walpin, but ultimately dropped as part of a deal between Johnson and the United States Attorney. Walpin was subsequently fired by Obama, an act that Republicans have charged was a political favor to Johnson.

Our mission: To survive two cross-country flights with three young children, plus a seven-night cruise with assorted in-laws. Clearly, the numbers were against us.

Carry-on items for airplane: Baby wipes, check.  Boarding passes, check. Nintendo DS with charged batteries (we’ll not make that mistake again, by God), check. Snacks, gum, sweatshirts for the chilly plane, change of clothes for the baby, People magazine to peruse during leisurely moments (hey, a woman can always dream… but when did my fantasies about Brad Pitt become fantasies of finding time to read about Brad Pitt?) – check, check, check. Tylenol for packing-induced migrane, check.

Happiest moment of trip: A young businessman looks up from his Wall Street Journal at our unruly mob -- haggard parents, wired children, and drooling baby -- and flees from our row with an expression most often seen in horror movies when young campers get a glimpse of Jason’s flashing knife. Fine, maybe I gave one of my kid’s ears the slightest motherly tug to spark a timely squabble (“Hey! He pulled my ear!” “No, I didn’t -- owww! He hit me!”) They’ll work out their differences in therapy twenty years from now – in the meantime, we got a coveted empty seat!  

This article was originally posted in the DCUM Forum thread "229 Teachers RIFed, see DC Wire for full story". It is being republished here with the permission of the author, who has chosen to remain anonymous.

Most of yesterday was a normal day for me, a third year special education teacher. I wake up at 5 am. After getting up, getting ready, and feeding my four month old baby, I check my DCPS email, respond to a question about a student, and enter grades from the day before. Everything I need to do online I do at home in the early morning, because I don't have internet access at school.

I take the metro to Anacostia and then walk the mile to the high school, arriving to work at 7:30. On the way in I see the assistant principal who tells me that there will be 10 students added to my caseload of 20 and I should consult with their general education teachers about their progress. I go to my classroom and prep. I set up learning stations for my group of diverse first period learners. Some will be doing a math activity, others a reading activity for the first 20 minutes of class. All teachers are then called to a meeting. We are told that DCPS has lost their contract with Hawk One Security, and therefore today there will be no security guards. All teachers will need to give up their planning periods to man the halls.

This weekend my husband and I celebrated our seven year wedding anniversary. Well, actually the anniversary occurred earlier this month, but amongst the craziness of our lives we postponed the date night celebration to this weekend.

I still feel like a married rookie in some ways. But when it comes to verbally communicating, Chris and I have definitely improved, and we've developed a sense of humor about those specific questions that require specific answers in a male/female relationship. After seven years of married life and nine years together, for many situations we have implemented a system not unlike a dance with choreographed steps.