Anonymous wrote:the woman who has had 2 brain tumors (stop saying rumors, it's very insulting) and just finished surgery and then radiation for them (and I'm really sorry to that poster, that must be horrible!)

Thank you.

Everyone, do you know that since nearly everyone posts as Anonymous on this thread, that it's hard to tell WHO is "speaking?" Because the woman who has had 2 brain tumors (stop saying rumors, it's very insulting) and just finished surgery and then radiation for them (and I'm really sorry to that poster, that must be horrible!) is NOT the same person who lives with a boyfriend who smokes 1 cig a day, and is also possibly not the same person who would or wouldn't hire a nanny who didn't smoke?

The question was: would you hire a nanny who smoked? Or, alternatively, what would you do if you discovered that your live-in nanny is now willing to have your child in her car after she just came from said car reeking of smoke?

To both I say: I would ask if someone smoked, and I'd be really clear that I expect my nanny and any visitors to my house to NOT smoke in my house or around my children, including at the park, in my car, in her car if my kids would be in her car, etc. I don't like the smell, I don't want to have someone around my children who smell like that, and I don't want my kids exposed all the time to smoke. Of course they will be exposed to it standing in line at an outdoor fair, or somewhere or other out in the world, but not with someone I pay for. And frankly, any of my friends who visit my house know they can't smoke in teh house, and they would never do it - they go outside. Period. What they do in their house is fine, what I want done in my house (and around my children) is up to me and my husband.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never met a smoker who didn't smell, so no to the nanny. Unless you smoke one cigarette a month, there will be residual smell of smoke. My father is a lifelong smoker. Let me tell you, I can tell how long ago he left the room when I enter that room. I can tell how long ago he used the bathroom when I go use it. They smell, their body fluids smell, their clothes, hair, sweat, everything. Perhaps there are smokers out there who never carry a molecule of smell around them but I never met one.

You do realize that you have absolutely no way of knowing this without asking each and every non-smelling person you encounter if they are a smoker or not. I know it's fun to bash smokers but try not to be so stupid about it.

Each and every person I encounter doesn't come into my house and near my child. The nanny is at a much closer distance. Out of the people I see regularly, I know exactly who smoke and who doesn't. I know which ones of my colleagues smoke. I know which ones of my friends smoke. I know which members of my family smoke. If you are trying to make an argument that there ARE smokers out there who don't smell like smoke, I don't believe you, unless their smoking habits are so casual that it almost doesn't matter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your focus on protecting smokers is odd to say the least. In light of your purported illness you may want to rethink your priorities. Secondly, you make think third hand smoke, which can harm children is trivial. Perhaps that what caused your rumors. It is anything but trivial. You and the smoking nannies should get together and let them focus on your children. I chose for non-smokers with compassion for the fragile respiratory statuses of children to take care of my children. Perhaps if your kids got a couple of rumors you'd change your grossly sympathetic tone. Unlikely. Trolls can't change colors.

What.

I have said multiple times that I would not hire a nanny who I knew smoked and that I believe if you can tell she does (i.e. You can smell it) you shouldn't hire her. Second and third hand smoke is dangerous, as is having one of your children's primary role models endorsing smoking.

BUT not everyone who smokes smokes often enough for others to tell. My boyfriend smokes one cigarette per night just before he showers - none of his clothes smell, he never smokes in his car, etc. Do I like it? No. Do I believe there are nannies out there who are professional enough to keep a cigarette habit secret from the families they work for? Yes. Is a couple of cigarettes a night enough to condemn someone to poor hospital care? No. What about everyone who enjoys too much red meat - whether they end up overweight or not - or who binge drinks on weekends or eats well but never exercises? No one is perfect and no one makes 100% healthy choices 100% of the time. To argue that their families and medical professionals will abandon them at the end of their life (or in a time of medical crisis) because of that is insane.

You had a bunch of brain rumors, but you live with a smoker? What an idiot you are (or clearly brain-damaged from the tumors. Just hoping your a nanny and not a parent.

Anonymous wrote:Your focus on protecting smokers is odd to say the least. In light of your purported illness you may want to rethink your priorities. Secondly, you make think third hand smoke, which can harm children is trivial. Perhaps that what caused your rumors. It is anything but trivial. You and the smoking nannies should get together and let them focus on your children. I chose for non-smokers with compassion for the fragile respiratory statuses of children to take care of my children. Perhaps if your kids got a couple of rumors you'd change your grossly sympathetic tone. Unlikely. Trolls can't change colors.

Wait. Never mind. I'm done with you. No nurse would ever say that my grandparents' smoking habits, who I saw maybe once a year, caused my brain tumors. No chance.

Know why? BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS WHAT CAUSES THEM. Feel free to ask any neurosurgeons you know. Hope you find something more meaningful in your life than saying hurtful things to strangers on the internet.

Anonymous wrote:Your focus on protecting smokers is odd to say the least. In light of your purported illness you may want to rethink your priorities. Secondly, you make think third hand smoke, which can harm children is trivial. Perhaps that what caused your rumors. It is anything but trivial. You and the smoking nannies should get together and let them focus on your children. I chose for non-smokers with compassion for the fragile respiratory statuses of children to take care of my children. Perhaps if your kids got a couple of rumors you'd change your grossly sympathetic tone. Unlikely. Trolls can't change colors.

What.

I have said multiple times that I would not hire a nanny who I knew smoked and that I believe if you can tell she does (i.e. You can smell it) you shouldn't hire her. Second and third hand smoke is dangerous, as is having one of your children's primary role models endorsing smoking.

BUT not everyone who smokes smokes often enough for others to tell. My boyfriend smokes one cigarette per night just before he showers - none of his clothes smell, he never smokes in his car, etc. Do I like it? No. Do I believe there are nannies out there who are professional enough to keep a cigarette habit secret from the families they work for? Yes. Is a couple of cigarettes a night enough to condemn someone to poor hospital care? No. What about everyone who enjoys too much red meat - whether they end up overweight or not - or who binge drinks on weekends or eats well but never exercises? No one is perfect and no one makes 100% healthy choices 100% of the time. To argue that their families and medical professionals will abandon them at the end of their life (or in a time of medical crisis) because of that is insane.

Your focus on protecting smokers is odd to say the least. In light of your purported illness you may want to rethink your priorities. Secondly, you make think third hand smoke, which can harm children is trivial. Perhaps that what caused your rumors. It is anything but trivial. You and the smoking nannies should get together and let them focus on your children. I chose for non-smokers with compassion for the fragile respiratory statuses of children to take care of my children. Perhaps if your kids got a couple of rumors you'd change your grossly sympathetic tone. Unlikely. Trolls can't change colors.