Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d love to know how all the Nannie’s/au pairs/babysitters on here plan to pay for childcare once they have kids.
They’re always saying parents are cheap for hiring au pairs. Unless you marry someone very wealthy you’ll be in the same boat. Not everyone has the income to pay $1k a week or more for childcare. It doesn’t make them cheap.

Nanny here. I can't have kids. Many, many nannies don't work when they have kids, have their mom take care of the kids, or have their kids in daycare (which costs less than they make). Of course, some nannies also bring their infant to work. Whatever they choose, they don't choose to hire the most expensive form of childcare (nanny).

I went to a thing called daycare and after care. Then I was picked up at close of business, went home, did homework, dinner, books, shower, and I was in bed by 8 for a long long time. Then my single mother (dad died) would work, clean, or read a book when we were in bed. I remember binders being brought home and waking up to her asleep on the couch with all these binders. We all chipped in on cleaning, cooking, and laundry. I learned how to do laundry around age 6/ 7 and helped around the house. The only thing she paid for was mowing which a neighbor did for us and I believe he did it at a reduced price.

I have neighbors with crazy schedules (and I used to have one, but had to cut back b/c my husband travels so much) and I always offer if their kid needs to be picked up from after school and have dinner at mine. One woman is a big time lawyer, and her husband "works" but doesn't really do much. She is the breadwinner (by far), but is constantly picking up her kids because her husband is "too busy." She confided in me she thought she might loose her job because this was happening so often. I told her I was happy. She had a meeting and couldn't come home until 9PM, so I picked up her son at after school (her older daughter went to a friend's house), he came to ours, had dinner, homework, played, and I dropped him at home around 8 when his dad finished his guys night. My husband was on a business trip for 10 days during one of those weeks when random days were off of school. This same mom offered to take my child all day one Saturday, which was so so helpful to me. I think we have to help each other out and be more of a village.

I'll be honest, this is why I only have 1 kid. The costs of everything. I saw how my mother struggled and didn't want that life, so decided one kid and I would work my butt off and I have, but also try to help others if I can.

Any updates on when the new regulations will be published? It’s hard to plan for our future in the program without knowing this information.

Anonymous wrote:The program is just fine. It’s just that many of DMV families aren’t suitable for it and can’t afford it. Move on

DP. Think it is a little in between and that perhaps you are too old for tik tok. Our family was considering that or a nanny and then I discovered au pair tik tok. No thanks. The reality is people debate the value of things they can afford all the time (private vs. public school, different cars, branded “luxury jewkey” etc). But for some reason with childcare all debate should stop with “but you’re poor” lol

Anonymous wrote:I’d love to know how all the Nannie’s/au pairs/babysitters on here plan to pay for childcare once they have kids.
They’re always saying parents are cheap for hiring au pairs. Unless you marry someone very wealthy you’ll be in the same boat. Not everyone has the income to pay $1k a week or more for childcare. It doesn’t make them cheap.

Nanny here. I can't have kids. Many, many nannies don't work when they have kids, have their mom take care of the kids, or have their kids in daycare (which costs less than they make). Of course, some nannies also bring their infant to work. Whatever they choose, they don't choose to hire the most expensive form of childcare (nanny).

The program is just fine. It’s just that many of DMV families aren’t suitable for it and can’t afford it. Move on

Anonymous wrote:The au pair program is basically dead at this point. There are far too many overly entitled au pairs who have been sold serious kool aid from agencies and former au pairs. If they want to come to the US, time to buckle up and study because the au pair route will become obsolete

You mean your ability to exploit au pairs like a human trafficker is over. If you actually want to provide the cultural experience with light babysitting, that’s very much alive.

Anonymous wrote:I think the changes coming in are also being pushed by far left and far right groups that don’t want to see women in the workplace. In the past 5 years I’m seeing less and less women in the pipeline at work. Many have switched to working remotely because they can’t find consistent childcare. This kills their career.

I’m a single mother. My ex husband is unreliable. I have to go to work and I don’t get to take breaks. Two of my children are disabled, they have autism. My third child has dyslexia and is too tired for aftercare. I’m paid fairly well but not lots because I’m paying school fees, childcare, medical expenses and housing.

I’d like to know what I’m supposed to do because the family courts don’t enforce child related expenses being equally shared, to keep my well paid job I have to show up even when I have a sick child and I can’t afford an au pair, no one wants the nanny role as not enough hours plus I need household admin done, which they don’t want to do.

This is about women’s rights because this is going to disproportionately affect women.

So just women like you, not women why may be exploited from other countries? Look I'm frustrated with the AP program as much as anyone and I empathize with your situation. But it's not helpful to be ok with exploiting another group of women just bc the capitalist society is so harmful.

I think the changes coming in are also being pushed by far left and far right groups that don’t want to see women in the workplace. In the past 5 years I’m seeing less and less women in the pipeline at work. Many have switched to working remotely because they can’t find consistent childcare. This kills their career.

I’m a single mother. My ex husband is unreliable. I have to go to work and I don’t get to take breaks. Two of my children are disabled, they have autism. My third child has dyslexia and is too tired for aftercare. I’m paid fairly well but not lots because I’m paying school fees, childcare, medical expenses and housing.

I’d like to know what I’m supposed to do because the family courts don’t enforce child related expenses being equally shared, to keep my well paid job I have to show up even when I have a sick child and I can’t afford an au pair, no one wants the nanny role as not enough hours plus I need household admin done, which they don’t want to do.

This is about women’s rights because this is going to disproportionately affect women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s going to be a higher demand for Nannies with APs going away.

Bingo. This is why all of this is happening. The lawsuit in Massachusetts, the lobbying to get these changes approved— all come from domestic workers organizations who are looking out for their nanny constituents. They say au pairs fall into that category, but in reality, they want to kill the program or at least make the wages high so that nannies are not competing.

What’s with the bingo lady?

The au pair program is basically dead at this point. There are far too many overly entitled au pairs who have been sold serious kool aid from agencies and former au pairs. If they want to come to the US, time to buckle up and study because the au pair route will become obsolete

Anonymous wrote:We pay our AP $250/week. Plus agency fees are about $9500 each year. Just those two things amount to $432/week.

If you add in just $40 weekly for food and $1000 yearly for car insurance and $400 yearly in added utilities, you're at $500/week.

This is not including outings with the family, gifts for bdays and holidays, plane tickets to come on trips with us, etc.

According to the proposed regs, APs will be paid $17.50/hour. We need an AP afterschool from 3-7:30pm which is 22.5 hours/week. But we are required to pay them for 31 hours which would come out to $542.50. Minus $130 for room & board= $412.50.

So now we're at $412.50 but haven't factored in agency fees and car insurance and food. Add those back in and we are at $654.42.

no thanks. I will find an afterschool sitter or put the kids in aftercare and take back the extra room in my house.

We're at HCOL area. Our au pair year is over. She typically worked 35 hours a week.

I did the math, and we were at $800-900/week including agency fee. Plus of course we provided housing, worth $1200/month (separate entrance, with ensuite bath). We're gonna look for an after school sitter as well. Worst case, we can use after care at $10/hour.

We pay our AP $250/week. Plus agency fees are about $9500 each year. Just those two things amount to $432/week.

If you add in just $40 weekly for food and $1000 yearly for car insurance and $400 yearly in added utilities, you're at $500/week.

This is not including outings with the family, gifts for bdays and holidays, plane tickets to come on trips with us, etc.

According to the proposed regs, APs will be paid $17.50/hour. We need an AP afterschool from 3-7:30pm which is 22.5 hours/week. But we are required to pay them for 31 hours which would come out to $542.50. Minus $130 for room & board= $412.50.

So now we're at $412.50 but haven't factored in agency fees and car insurance and food. Add those back in and we are at $654.42.

no thanks. I will find an afterschool sitter or put the kids in aftercare and take back the extra room in my house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our plan is to use college babysitters for afterschool hours. And we will save a lot of money by not having an AP.

I guess this depends on where you live but every time I crunch the numbers, I can't figure out how we would save money by using babysitters for afterschool care. In the DC area we would have to pay at least $25/hour for someone to pick up our kids from school and watch them for a few hours. If we did 3 hours every weekday to cover pickup until when parents are done with work, that's almost $400/week...way more than an AP's weekly stipend as it currently stands. Of course if they do fully implement the new AP regulations then a babysitter probably is more affordable, but I won't really feel like I'm "saving" money at that point...

Still cheaper than an au pair in totality since you won't have to pay the agency fees, buy extra groceries, and provide housing.

Anonymous wrote:Our plan is to use college babysitters for afterschool hours. And we will save a lot of money by not having an AP.

I guess this depends on where you live but every time I crunch the numbers, I can't figure out how we would save money by using babysitters for afterschool care. In the DC area we would have to pay at least $25/hour for someone to pick up our kids from school and watch them for a few hours. If we did 3 hours every weekday to cover pickup until when parents are done with work, that's almost $400/week...way more than an AP's weekly stipend as it currently stands. Of course if they do fully implement the new AP regulations then a babysitter probably is more affordable, but I won't really feel like I'm "saving" money at that point...

Good luck. I couldn't find someone consistently, so we went back to an AP. She basically just drives the kids, cooks them dinner occasionally, and cleans the kitchn.

It is really really hard.