Anonymous wrote:"Mom" SHOULD be in quotes for many out-sourcing women on this board, I mean, why do you need child care from 7am-8pm?? WTF did you have children for?

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Anonymous wrote:I think that these type of conversations and attitudes are the reason why we are leaving the program. The constant misuse of the word cultural exchange.
After 2 years in this program this nonsense is what creates problems. What do you expect host parents to do? Are we supposed to provide grand tours? Do we need to entertain our au pairs? The main reason families find au pairs is for childcare. I cannot take an au pair on a tour because who will watch the kids? I am a special needs parent than I cannot take my kids anywhere but a playground etc. So the only time I myself can go anywhere is if au pair is babysitting. And this nonsense about go hire a professional nanny, it's ridiculous. Au pairs work is childcare and it is work and they should be professional and they should be experienced in this, and that's what their profiles and references say. My 2 au pairs rarely spoke with us they rarely left their room. The last one would take our toddler to the kids bedroom so they don't have to chase them then sit for an hour on the phone ignoring the kid. I would come in and politely explain that she can glance at her phone and take breaks but she is not a security guard. Sorry stop the bs about cultural exchange au pairs are welcome to interact with the family many choose not too. But they are nannys their wages are not just the stipend its the agency fees which cover plane tickets events and visas, and cost parents just as much. All of these details are disclosed and no one forces them to enter the program or to stay in it. But as the previous poster said the quality and motivation is quite poor. Rant over.

Au Pairs pay in their countries for their own visa, agency fees, insurance and plane tickets. If the agency says that you do, it's a lie and that's on them. They pay over 2000US dollars to come to the US, I think it's only fair if they get a good experience. Even tho a lot of au pairs go there seeking for a better life, a lot of them are in good conditions in their country and go there to travel and enjoy (THIS IS HOW THE AGENCIES SELL IT).

Then they should understand that their money is not going towards 100% fun. It's also going towards helping a family with childcare. That's the arrangement. If they dono't like it, just same your $2K and travel in the US. Good luck finding nice accomondations and meals handed to you.

I understand that Au pairs pay something to enter the program, that eliminates a lot of the bad apples. Families pay agency fees almost equivalent to the stipend so its inaccurate to say cost is $4 per hour when its $8. The meals situation is ridiculous. Au pairs think that they are in a buffet. My wife is supposed to cook for them but they will not cook in return. If they do that would only be on childcare time which defeats the purpose. At some point we decided that its not our job to cook for our guests who do not in return. We would buy any ingredients or cooked food from the supermarket that au pair would request and the au pair can cook or eat whatever she wants on her own. We typically shop twice a week and fridge is loaded. But the point is that I hate that they treat this like they are on a cruise with 3 meals provided and we are their servants. That was our experience the first 14 months. However the issue is as the title states that the program right now is broken. A rich family that always order delivery can just add an extra dish and again that's the kind of rematches that au pairs are looking for. Why not have housekeeper, a huge house, a not have to cook? Why take care of infants and toddlers when someone needs their 9 old driven to dance class while you can relax on you phone? Why not simply rematch and live in a different part of the country. In the end us parent who are clients of the program loose.

All this can be solved TALKING, people is missing the point of this exchange. You need to communicate, just imagine you marry a person you can't talk to and has so many different believes than you.
When you parents are looking for an au pair not only look for their experience but about them, look for someone with similar thoughts, that looks at the program in the same way as you, in this way you are going to be happy but also the au pair. A HAPPY WORKER DOES A BETTER JOB. It's super simple.

Agree 100%. The thing is, many of us HF *do* spend loads of time talking, interviewing, going over the house handbook, etc. However, (and I am assuming you are an LCC or agency rep), you should realize that many of these girls say the right things to get the match---and once they get here it all goes downhill.

If you were working abroad and you had an opportunity to get bigger house, your own bathroom, easier job, more pay, paid restaurant meals, better car etc. would you say well I will not leave because my employer spent hours interviewing me, going over handbooks, getting to know me, etc etc. No most of the au pairs coming over will take the better position. How motivated will you feel if your all of friends left for better jobs and you stayed. We can talk all we want, but until the agencies step up and put some rules in place it will be a mess. For example you can say if an au pair came to work with 0-2 year olds they will be reassigned to that group. Also investigate parents that game the system to steal away au pairs.

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Anonymous wrote:I've been there (former peace corps volunteer), and the AP life is rich compared to what we had. And yes, we are now going with a nanny. I am happy to shell out way more $$ for quality, professional childcare.

Good!! I’m so glad you’re leaving the program, it is obvious that you don’t understand how it works and you shouldn’t be in it. Again, AU PAIR IS NOT A NANNY PROGRAM, IT’S A CULTURAL EXCHANGE PROGRAM. Shameful how some of you ladies are expecting foreign girls to do your job as a mother. Disappointing.

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Anonymous wrote:"Mom" SHOULD be in quotes for many out-sourcing women on this board, I mean, why do you need child care from 7am-8pm?? WTF did you have children for?

Maybe a nurse who works 3 days on/4 days off? Get over yourself.

Anonymous wrote:"Mom" SHOULD be in quotes for many out-sourcing women on this board, I mean, why do you need child care from 7am-8pm?? WTF did you have children for?