Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't call. Text her and then turn off your phone. If you let her get away with this, her abide will only get worse. Also, playdates on never for more than an hour. Do not let her get away with this,!

Play dates with a charge's friend when the kids are in elementary school may be 2-3 hours, and they are drop off.

However, OP already stated that the friends children are of age she doesn't particularly like, so this isn't a play date, in any way at all.

My charges are 8 months, 2.5 and 3.5-years old.

Her friends children are 7&9.

I don’t see how a first and 4th graded will enjoy a play date with three small children. They’ll apparently be here from 10am to 4/5pm because their mother has an appointment.

" So this isn't actually a play date. I'll prepare a bill for your friend."

Make sure those kids have quiet time while your charges nap, and they do whatever you normally do. Age appropriate for your charges.

Anonymous wrote:I went into work and dealt with it.

It was not pleasant and I plan on quitting but no wouldn’t be best for me to quit on the spot.

The older kids watched tv all day and entertained themselves for the most part. They’re super whiney and needy children, but I did a good job of mostly ignoring them and they eventually figured out whining won’t grt them anything.

Oh, and of course I didn’t get paid extra for any of this.

Why would she pay you extra? She has shown that she is a selfish and manipulative woman.

The first time she mentioned the extra kids you should have said I charge and additional $5 an hour per kid. No explanations are negotiations. Master the blank face.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever had this happen?

MB told me today they won’t need me a day next week and so she scheduled me to watch her friends kids all day. She didn’t even ask.

I don’t want to watch her friends kids. They’re terrible and an age group I don’t like working with.

I want to tell Mb no, but I know she’ll give me hell about it.

Help?!?!

No. Just no. Grow a spine.

As harsh as this is OP you need to do this. The nanny world is tough and you need to learn to advocate for yourself or you will find yourself in this position again and again.

Go work in a daycare.
They are always hiring,
I'm sure you have enough qualifications to be an assistant.

It's not super high pay but it's income until you can get a nanny position and parents do hire daycare workers.

You are not going to get a reference from this woman. Period.

She is also the type to spread lies about you.

Get out as quickly as you can.

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever had this happen?

MB told me today they won’t need me a day next week and so she scheduled me to watch her friends kids all day. She didn’t even ask.

I don’t want to watch her friends kids. They’re terrible and an age group I don’t like working with.

I want to tell Mb no, but I know she’ll give me hell about it.

Help?!?!

No. Just no. Grow a spine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't call. Text her and then turn off your phone. If you let her get away with this, her abide will only get worse. Also, playdates on never for more than an hour. Do not let her get away with this,!

And I turn it back on to see I’ve lost my job and a future reference.

I totally agree with sucking it up and keeping a neutral face for that stretch. You need the job -- for now.

But, please, please -- don't think of this woman as a possible reference. A "reference" means that you have left or will be leaving the position. There is no way someone like this woman would not take that as both a personal insult and as being unprofessional, despite the fact that professionalism requires adequate notice, not indentured servitude for life.

Start talking to agencies NOW. Get your ducks in order so that you are not fully dependent on her like this,a nd then make the decisions you need to for you and yours.

But don't -- don't -- make the mistake of thinking that if you are sufficiently doormattish, she will recommend you to other people when and if you leave. Does not work like that.

Your MB is so stunningly passive-aggressive that you will never get a good reference from her so do not expect one. Agencies understand this and will not even call your current employer since the agency knows that your employer doesn't know you are leaving yet. Call agencies now, OP.

What your MB did to you was more than a slap in the face. I have no doubt she is telling the story of how she bested you to all who will listen this weekend.

Anonymous wrote:Now is the time to ask for a reference in writing. Get that reference, sign up with an agency. When you wait, give zero notice.

Her MB is not going to give her a good written reference now!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a bad feeling that OP was fired and probably not paid for yesterday. I hope I am wrong but as there's been no update, I do not think it ended well.

I am guessing the opposite. OP said nothing and ended up caring for her charges as well as the other two kids without saying a word. There is no update because she is embarrassed.

You are right. I’m not really embarrassed either.

Unfortantly we don’t all have the financial ability to just quit without another job lined up. Also this is the only nanny job I’ve held so if I want to continue nannying, it would be stupid for me to ruin my only reference.

It’s unfortunate and unfair, but it’s life.


I am, however, looking for a new position.

You are not gong to get a good reference from this woman when she has basically tricked you into doing what she wants. Sign up with a couple agencies now. They will skip your current employer as a reference.

I^^when you quit, not wait
OP, waste no time in signing up with other agencies.

Now is the time to ask for a reference in writing. Get that reference, sign up with an agency. When you wait, give zero notice.

Anonymous wrote:I went into work and dealt with it.

It was not pleasant and I plan on quitting but no wouldn’t be best for me to quit on the spot.

The older kids watched tv all day and entertained themselves for the most part. They’re super whiney and needy children, but I did a good job of mostly ignoring them and they eventually figured out whining won’t grt them anything.

Oh, and of course I didn’t get paid extra for any of this.

I am sorry, OP - you deserve so much better. Please look for a new job this weekend. There are tons of listings for the first of the year. And sign up with various agencies NOW - today.

Your MB is a bitch. And it will only get worse. I am sure she is so pleased for outsmarting you. Probably laughing about it with her friends. Get out of this situation, OP.

I went into work and dealt with it.

It was not pleasant and I plan on quitting but no wouldn’t be best for me to quit on the spot.

The older kids watched tv all day and entertained themselves for the most part. They’re super whiney and needy children, but I did a good job of mostly ignoring them and they eventually figured out whining won’t grt them anything.

Oh, and of course I didn’t get paid extra for any of this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a bad feeling that OP was fired and probably not paid for yesterday. I hope I am wrong but as there's been no update, I do not think it ended well.

I am guessing the opposite. OP said nothing and ended up caring for her charges as well as the other two kids without saying a word. There is no update because she is embarrassed.

You are right. I’m not really embarrassed either.

Unfortantly we don’t all have the financial ability to just quit without another job lined up. Also this is the only nanny job I’ve held so if I want to continue nannying, it would be stupid for me to ruin my only reference.

It’s unfortunate and unfair, but it’s life.


I am, however, looking for a new position.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a bad feeling that OP was fired and probably not paid for yesterday. I hope I am wrong but as there's been no update, I do not think it ended well.

I am guessing the opposite. OP said nothing and ended up caring for her charges as well as the other two kids without saying a word. There is no update because she is embarrassed.

My guess is that she was tired at the end of the day yesterday and so slept in today. And then had laundry to do at her own house, and has a holiday party tonight that she needs to get ready for and has not had a few spare minutes to get on DCUM to give an update.