Do you think funeral directors typically lean across the casket and ask for payment? Or do you think maybe they have a bit more common sense than that? Nanny was insensitive and could have held off for another SEVEN WHOLE DAYS before demanding payment. I would be totally put off by the request, even as I reached for my checkbook and wrote the check. My opinion of the nanny would change from appreciative of her help in a crisis to suspicious of her key motivation ($$$). I would have paid her in any event, but the Monday ask after the weekend death is really, really insensitive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have catered at funerals and expected to be paid as I was paid in all cayering jobs, e.g., paid in full on date of event. I ran a business not a charity. OP's MB was a jerk to have told her she "couldn't deal" with paying her. She should have had a check already prepared for her and thanked her profusely for OP's heroic efforts for her. Her MB is at fault.

lol, you get how stupid you sound right? You get paid daily for your catering, that's your policy. The nanny gets paid on a per pay period basis, see how they're completely different? Lord, I hope you aren't a nanny.

You get how stupid you sound, right? PP was pointing out that in most businesses dealing with death, payment is not an issue. Why should it be here? A death is not a special excuse to be unprofessional.

Yes exactly. Because as trying as a time like that is, people always manage to pay the funeral directors, the caterers, etc. What if OP hadn't been available on such short notice for a 3am call? MB would have had to call someone else - neighbor, friend, other sitter - and absolutely would have been expected to pay them at the time services were provided. These hours OP worked were not "extra income" for her, they were a favor, and her MB should have paid her in cash (or by check) on the spot OR said, "I hope it's okay if I add these hours to your next paycheck?" rather than expecting OP to sit and wonder how and when she'd be paid. Without her MB communicating one or the other, of course OP had every right to ask.

If MB uses a payroll service, could she have even made out another check on Monday, or would that have caused problems with taxes. Anyways, I'm pretty sure OP is a troll creating yet another fake post to make MBs look bad.

Anonymous wrote:Oh puhleaze. A "beloved aunt"?? (as one PP put it) The MB EXPECTED the death of her elderly aunt and was at least somewhat prepared for it, clearly, if they had a plan in place for the nanny. Not saying its still not sad because obviously death is a horrible thing to experience all-around but I'm pretty sure this MB can 1) calculate the hrs her nanny worked 2) find her checkbook and 3) write it down...final step-give to nanny on Monday or put it in a place where she would get it that day! Sounds tough, right? I can totally see how that grieving process would prevent her from doing this....except oh wait, I CAN'T!!!

How did it turn out, OP?

Someday when you experience the loss of a close family member, I hope you pause and think about this. I suspect you will then feel appropriately shamed. Even an expected death can be very difficult.

How old are you? What loss have you experienced that has given you this perspective?

Oh puhleaze. A "beloved aunt"?? (as one PP put it) The MB EXPECTED the death of her elderly aunt and was at least somewhat prepared for it, clearly, if they had a plan in place for the nanny. Not saying its still not sad because obviously death is a horrible thing to experience all-around but I'm pretty sure this MB can 1) calculate the hrs her nanny worked 2) find her checkbook and 3) write it down...final step-give to nanny on Monday or put it in a place where she would get it that day! Sounds tough, right? I can totally see how that grieving process would prevent her from doing this....except oh wait, I CAN'T!!!

How did it turn out, OP?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have catered at funerals and expected to be paid as I was paid in all cayering jobs, e.g., paid in full on date of event. I ran a business not a charity. OP's MB was a jerk to have told her she "couldn't deal" with paying her. She should have had a check already prepared for her and thanked her profusely for OP's heroic efforts for her. Her MB is at fault.

lol, you get how stupid you sound right? You get paid daily for your catering, that's your policy. The nanny gets paid on a per pay period basis, see how they're completely different? Lord, I hope you aren't a nanny.

You get how stupid you sound, right? PP was pointing out that in most businesses dealing with death, payment is not an issue. Why should it be here? A death is not a special excuse to be unprofessional.

Anonymous wrote:I have catered at funerals and expected to be paid as I was paid in all cayering jobs, e.g., paid in full on date of event. I ran a business not a charity. OP's MB was a jerk to have told her she "couldn't deal" with paying her. She should have had a check already prepared for her and thanked her profusely for OP's heroic efforts for her. Her MB is at fault.

lol, you get how stupid you sound right? You get paid daily for your catering, that's your policy. The nanny gets paid on a per pay period basis, see how they're completely different? Lord, I hope you aren't a nanny.

I have catered at funerals and expected to be paid as I was paid in all cayering jobs, e.g., paid in full on date of event. I ran a business not a charity. OP's MB was a jerk to have told her she "couldn't deal" with paying her. She should have had a check already prepared for her and thanked her profusely for OP's heroic efforts for her. Her MB is at fault.

Anonymous wrote:Even if it's a huge favor and not something she wanted to do - how does that negate having some basic sensitivity and acting like a sympathetic human being? I'm not suggesting she never gets paid, or has no right to ask, just that she waits more that 48 hours after the expiration of the beloved aunt. Give it a week and ask then. At that point it's reasonable. But asking on Monday when the death has just occurred...well, that's just a jerky thing to do.

I agree w/ this. Obviously OP deserves to be fully paid, and thanked, for stepping in so significantly and on such short notice.

But the timing could certainly have been more sensitive.

Even if it's a huge favor and not something she wanted to do - how does that negate having some basic sensitivity and acting like a sympathetic human being? I'm not suggesting she never gets paid, or has no right to ask, just that she waits more that 48 hours after the expiration of the beloved aunt. Give it a week and ask then. At that point it's reasonable. But asking on Monday when the death has just occurred...well, that's just a jerky thing to do.

Anonymous wrote:Personally I would be really irritated if our nanny asked me on Monday for the extra weekend pay. In all likelihood the aunt's funeral wouldn't even have occurred yet. I'd view the nanny as insensitive and self-centered. These were extra hours and should be paid, but this is not the MB forgetting or refusing to pay for the expected weekly check, which would legitimately be worth gently requesting as presumably the nanny would rely on that regular income. For extra income, she could wait a week and have some sensitivity. This would make me pretty resentful toward the nanny given the circumstances.

Here is the crux of the issue, YOU see it as an issue of extra income, most nannies see it as a huge favor and a lot of overtime worked (and likely not something that they are thrilled to do). Thg MBs here seem to think that nannies should just be happy for the extra money and not worry about when they recieve it. Many nannies would be more happy not working at 4 am, and if they did, being paid for it promptly, not being put in the very uncomfortable position of needing to make sure they are going to be paid at all. Sympathy does not extend into the realm of being walked all over, and YES, getting snippy with an employee asking to be paid is far more self-centered IMHO.

Personally I would be really irritated if our nanny asked me on Monday for the extra weekend pay. In all likelihood the aunt's funeral wouldn't even have occurred yet. I'd view the nanny as insensitive and self-centered. These were extra hours and should be paid, but this is not the MB forgetting or refusing to pay for the expected weekly check, which would legitimately be worth gently requesting as presumably the nanny would rely on that regular income. For extra income, she could wait a week and have some sensitivity. This would make me pretty resentful toward the nanny given the circumstances.

ANy luck?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I definitely agree you should be paid, but I think your timing was a little off. I would of maybe broached the subject towards the end of the wk, rather than two days after it. If I worked extra hours over the wkend and my next payday was the Monday, I wouldn't expect the pay for that wkend to be paid then but the following wk

Why? Takes a week rather than a day to do the math?

If she's paid through payroll it takes a few days for the transaction to go through.

What makes you think that's the case here?

I was offering a suggestion as to why the pay isn't ready the very next day.
Take this month for example. Some people would do payroll so that on Friday the 18th the nanny is paid for the weeks of September 30th-October 4th, and the week of October 7th-11th. If that is what OP's MB does, she jumped the gun a bit.

OP said she gets paid on Mondays, but we don't know if it's every week or every two weeks.

Anonymous wrote:You should also make sure this is the last time you go outside the scope of your job for her as well as start looking for a new job. Death is not an excuse to treat someone else, particularly someone who has gone way beyond the call of duty, as poorly as she treated you.

Exactly.