I agree pp. not just for kids with special behaviours. But with any child

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We often go to a near by mall on rainy days. The kids need to run and the mall we go to is full of "grandma and grandpas" who love the little kids walking by and smiling and waving. We go to the toy store. Then usually do a loop of the mall. End with a smoothie.

A previous job was with a 4 year old boy with an extreme behaviour disorder. We would go to the bank every single week. We spoke about how to behave in a bank, what behaviour to use ect... We would also visit a restraunt once a week to practice being customers. Obviously these things were nice for me too but it was still work! I must say... His mother can now take him to a restraunt and he now knows how to behave properly!!

I think we can all agree that teaching someone with an extreme behavior disorder is a special case and there was a mutual benefit to the parent and nanny. These outings are referred to as CBI's, "Community Based Instruction". Most errands are not structured like CBIs.

A good nanny should know how to make almost any errand as a CBI.

Anonymous wrote:We often go to a near by mall on rainy days. The kids need to run and the mall we go to is full of "grandma and grandpas" who love the little kids walking by and smiling and waving. We go to the toy store. Then usually do a loop of the mall. End with a smoothie.

A previous job was with a 4 year old boy with an extreme behaviour disorder. We would go to the bank every single week. We spoke about how to behave in a bank, what behaviour to use ect... We would also visit a restraunt once a week to practice being customers. Obviously these things were nice for me too but it was still work! I must say... His mother can now take him to a restraunt and he now knows how to behave properly!!

I think we can all agree that teaching someone with an extreme behavior disorder is a special case and there was a mutual benefit to the parent and nanny. These outings are referred to as CBI's, "Community Based Instruction". Most errands are not structured like CBIs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: It's also healthy for a child to realize that they are not the center of the universe. That the people who care for them also have needs and desires of their own. As well as learning how to behave and interact in more adult social situations. The world is not kid-focused and they will need to learn to live in it. Stopping for coffee on the way to/from a kid activity is not screwing what's best for my charges.

When your child knows how to behave in the store, sit in the cart, wait in line, not get candy at the register, you can thank your nanny for exposing your child to the real world.

To save time, I know somone will say that strip clubs are the real world and they wouldn't want their kid there. My response, your a nitwit.

My nanny does not need to spend time teaching our children these behaviors since we parents teach them ourselves. That said, I do not have a problem with her picking up a few things for herself if I have sent her to the store or elsewhere on an errand.

Not all parents do this, is the point, and while I see what the dissenting MBs are saying here I guess I wonder why it needs to be so black and white. Kids like novel experiences, and if it's a 5-10 minute trip into the store, they're probably benefitting just from seeing a new place, the interactions they'll have with other shoppers or staff (seriously, when do you ever take a kid into a store and not have at least one person stop to coo at them?), and I suppose if they're a little older it is good practice for waiting in line, helping to count money to pay, and so on. Or, it could simply be a perk for the nanny to get something done while the baby snoozes in the stroller or gnaws on a teething ring, or while the toddler fishes cheerios out of his cup to eat. When I take my charge to the grocery store to buy my lunch he is thrilled (I name all the foods, we talk about hot and cold, etc.) but when I take him into a retail store he is squirming after 20 seconds. Starbucks is also a big hit with him, but the bookstore is not. So some of my errands are benefitting him, even just by nature of the stimulation he gets, while others are not.

Surely we can all agree that depending on the kids, the parents, the nanny, the store, the frequency, the duration of the trip(s), they could be painted either as pros or cons, it doesn't have to be a lot of rationalizing on one end or a lot of defensiveness on the other, just an acknowledgement that it's different for different people in different situations.

We often go to a near by mall on rainy days. The kids need to run and the mall we go to is full of "grandma and grandpas" who love the little kids walking by and smiling and waving. We go to the toy store. Then usually do a loop of the mall. End with a smoothie.

A previous job was with a 4 year old boy with an extreme behaviour disorder. We would go to the bank every single week. We spoke about how to behave in a bank, what behaviour to use ect... We would also visit a restraunt once a week to practice being customers. Obviously these things were nice for me too but it was still work! I must say... His mother can now take him to a restraunt and he now knows how to behave properly!!

I don't have a problem with an occasional quick errand either but I do have a problem with the level of dishonesty that somehow these errands are a benefit to the child. Good grief...its a perk and you're getting to do a personal errand. You are not teaching the child or being a dedicated, selfless nanny by running personal errands!

This is the problem..a nanny is never going to think that she is a bad nanny. Whatever she is doing she will rationalize as several of the previous posters have shown. If she wants to shop around the mall, she will rationalize that its good for kids to learn how to wait. She'll rationalize that an afternoon shopping is not bad because she doesn't do it every single day. This is no different than the nannies on other thread rationalizing that a young infant's face lights up when the nanny takes him on social outings with other nannies.

When you open the door to going to the mall, you just can't control what your nanny actually does. If she wants to shop for herself, she will and she'll think she's perfectly justified in doing this.

Whoops! That should say: I /don't/ have issues....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: It's also healthy for a child to realize that they are not the center of the universe. That the people who care for them also have needs and desires of their own. As well as learning how to behave and interact in more adult social situations. The world is not kid-focused and they will need to learn to live in it. Stopping for coffee on the way to/from a kid activity is not screwing what's best for my charges.

When your child knows how to behave in the store, sit in the cart, wait in line, not get candy at the register, you can thank your nanny for exposing your child to the real world.

To save time, I know somone will say that strip clubs are the real world and they wouldn't want their kid there. My response, your a nitwit.

My nanny does not need to spend time teaching our children these behaviors since we parents teach them ourselves. That said, I do not have a problem with her picking up a few things for herself if I have sent her to the store or elsewhere on an errand.

Seriously, I have issues with our nanny running a personal errand or two. But its a perk for her; not a benefit for my kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: It's also healthy for a child to realize that they are not the center of the universe. That the people who care for them also have needs and desires of their own. As well as learning how to behave and interact in more adult social situations. The world is not kid-focused and they will need to learn to live in it. Stopping for coffee on the way to/from a kid activity is not screwing what's best for my charges.

When your child knows how to behave in the store, sit in the cart, wait in line, not get candy at the register, you can thank your nanny for exposing your child to the real world.

To save time, I know somone will say that strip clubs are the real world and they wouldn't want their kid there. My response, your a nitwit.

My nanny does not need to spend time teaching our children these behaviors since we parents teach them ourselves. That said, I do not have a problem with her picking up a few things for herself if I have sent her to the store or elsewhere on an errand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: It's also healthy for a child to realize that they are not the center of the universe. That the people who care for them also have needs and desires of their own. As well as learning how to behave and interact in more adult social situations. The world is not kid-focused and they will need to learn to live in it. Stopping for coffee on the way to/from a kid activity is not screwing what's best for my charges.

When your child knows how to behave in the store, sit in the cart, wait in line, not get candy at the register, you can thank your nanny for exposing your child to the real world.

To save time, I know somone will say that strip clubs are the real world and they wouldn't want their kid there. My response, your a nitwit.

+1

Anonymous wrote: It's also healthy for a child to realize that they are not the center of the universe. That the people who care for them also have needs and desires of their own. As well as learning how to behave and interact in more adult social situations. The world is not kid-focused and they will need to learn to live in it. Stopping for coffee on the way to/from a kid activity is not screwing what's best for my charges.

When your child knows how to behave in the store, sit in the cart, wait in line, not get candy at the register, you can thank your nanny for exposing your child to the real world.

To save time, I know somone will say that strip clubs are the real world and they wouldn't want their kid there. My response, your a nitwit.

I'm a pt nanny who often saves my trip to Starbucks for after I pick up the boy from morning preschool. He likes to go and the people who work there are so nice to him. His mother does not mind and I've asked repeatedly to make sure she's ok with it.

This is ridiculous. Obviously it's bad nanny judgement to drag a child around the mall while you contemplate your new spring wardrobe and aimlessly wander the stores. I don't think anyone on here is suggesting that is how they "do personal errands" with charges. Nobody is arguing that this is an acceptable thing, what's being argued is "is it ok to stop for 5 minutes and pick up something at a location my nanny was already at for my child" ... I think if you don't realize the obvious answer here (a resounding YES) then you need to step back and think of the reasons this bothers you so much. Is it because for you "popping in" at a store turns into hours at a time (not judging, it can do that for me if I'm not careful)?, is it because you felt like the nanny took advantage of the trust you share by going without asking permission? Ether way, sit down with your nanny and address this, "I don't mind if you have to make a stop now and again, but in the future I would really prefer that you clear it with me before hand." Or, "I just want to check in with you about the personal errands you run with the kid(s), as long as these are quick and concise errands, where my child(ren) continue to be your priority, I'm fine with these, as long as they're brought to my attention prior to the occurrence."

I feel blessed that my MB trusts my judgement entirely. I have gone on plenty of personal errands with the kids, to the mall, to the bank, to pick up paperwork here and there, to make returns and even some just to go say "hello" to my fiancé at his work (he's close to the kids as well, as a matter of fact they're our ringbearer and flower girls this may). Because I am a dedicated and professional full time nanny, on all of the occasions, in the forefront of my mind are my charges W and M. They are the priority regardless of what I'm doing or where we are. That why my MB trusts me to do my own thing. She knows that her kids are first, all the time, every time, with no exceptions. OP, sounds to me like your nanny is the same. So my advice would be to have a conversation with her about why you felt bothered, (see above) and let her know that you'd just like to be informed ahead of time.

To the person saying bookstores and malls and coffee shops are nowhere that a "professional" nanny should take her kids, I'm sad for the kids you've kept, because those places have opened up a whole new world (hehe another Disney reference) of experiences and interactions to my kids and even, opened up a whole new world of imaginitive play. They play "Starbucks" "Bank" and "store" on a regular basis, which means math skills (paying), social skills ("how may I help you today?") and cognitive skills (remembering an "order for coffee, and scones (pretend food of course)). I'm a damn good nanny, and I run all kinds of errands with my charges in tow, that's why I've been with this particular family for just over 3 years with not a single issue ever come up about "personal errands on the clock..".

Lets all grow up and use common sense to understand what our peers are saying, and be respectful of those who have differing opinions, how can we teach children to be respectful and polite when half of us can't manage to talk to our peers that way.

I often grab something from Starbucks drive thru as I head out with kids to our daily adventure. Apparently, since I have promised that soon we will actually go IN the Starbucks to get drinks for myself and the kids, I am heading down the path of nanny ineptitude and child abuse/neglect?

Anonymous wrote:I am an MB, and I completely disagree that a professional nanny does not take kids on personal errands.

My very awesome nanny has, with my encouragement, taken my children all kinds of boring places, like to get her oil changed, to get her shoes, to make a deposit at her bank, to mail a package at the post office, and to pay a bill. What a professional nanny does is turn it into a learning experience for the child. Explain how things work, what appropriate behavior is, and why we need to do boring things to keep our lives running smoothly. Allowing my nanny to do these things pays off for me. I have another adult reinforcing proper public behavior even during boring errands. My kids do not see my nanny as the fun-all-the-time one and me as the boring, responsible one. Most importantly, they learn about day-to-day stuff that I am not teaching them because I am running those errands for myself at lunch time so I can have fun with them in the evenings and on weekends.

You sound like an amazing employer. My MB shares your same views and I am grateful that she feels this way. For a second I actually tried to figure out if she wrote this b/c it sounds exactly like the response she would post if she were to read this thread.