In our house as a man my number one rule is to make au pair comfortable. When I wake up in the middle of the night to get milk for the baby I put on my shorts. I clean the toilet after my son pees on the floor. I never use au pair bathroom. She is an employee and its not easy for her to leave so its my job to make the house friendly and be a boss and not some dude in the house.

My husbands boxers look similar to his bathing suit and we have a pool and our AP has seen him in is bathing suit plenty of times. She’s seen him in his boxers a few times and it’s no big deal.

Your house set up sounds miserable. Sharing a bathroom?

This is cultural. I grew up in the US and we wear clothes. Europeans often don't. I remember being mortified when my husband called over to our old AP who overslept and she emerged from her bedroom, groggily, in a bra and undies. They chatted a bit and then moved on. They are both from the same country. When I mentioned to him that I thought it was weird she didn't have clothes on, he looked a little surprised and was like "oh yeah, good point, but she was sleeping and who wears clothes to bed?" It didn't occur to him people would get dressed before coming out.

Everyone is going to be slightly different on this. The internet can't answer this because the only opinions that matter are the people living together.

I don’t think it’s at all weird to see my dad in his boxers. People just have different levels of comfort around this. I wonder how to screen au pairs for this (seriously) because I’m not going to stop running around without pants in the morning while I’m getting ready for work because I forgot to take them out of the dryer and they’re all wrinkled and need a few more minutes.....

Anonymous wrote:Lack of boundaries would be wagging one's penis around. If he were walking around the whole house that way...probably poor boundaries.
Walking from the bedroom to the bathroom in your boxers in your own home is to be expected.

I imagine most of these young women think of host dad like they do their own dad. Have they never seen their own father in his boxers or less???

Are you comparing their dad to a stranger they share a house with and have known for a couple of months AT MOST and who also happen to be their boss and therefore should provide them with a
safe and semi-professional environment?

I have never seen my parents naked, no, nor do I care to and lived with them for 16 YEARS.


We also hosted exchange students when we were young and they also never had to be made uncomfortable by seeing my parents naked or half-naked, despite sharing our house and looking at them, I am sure, as parental figures.

Most APs think of their host dad as their dad in the sense of ''he wanted to make a move on me that would be extremely creepy'' and ''I hope I never bump into him naked.''
As an adult seeing your father in less than his boxer is absolutely not normal nor common (probably even less so than as a kid) and while I have nothing against nakedness I would be thoroughly mortified to visit home and find my dad just chilling walking around in less than his boxers. If I walked in and he was in his boxer I probably would not flinch but would expect him to put some pants on after being aware of my presence, like I would expect HFs to ensure they are dressed appropriately when aware AP is in the house.

Lack of boundaries would be wagging one's penis around. If he were walking around the whole house that way...probably poor boundaries.
Walking from the bedroom to the bathroom in your boxers in your own home is to be expected.

I imagine most of these young women think of host dad like they do their own dad. Have they never seen their own father in his boxers or less???

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In our house we don’t cover up all that much. Nobody deliberately flashes anyone or exposes themselves but we are teaching our kids that you don’t have to be uncomfortable or cover your body 24/7 in your own home. If i spend a weekend with girlfriends I cover up. I cover up in public. I am modest in locker rooms (but don’t freak out if the towel doesn’t cover everything). With my family? I might get a glass of water from the kitchen in the morning in a T-shirt and panties. I might walk around in just a bra while I iron my blouse. My husband might run out to put out the trash in his boxers. The Au Pair has seen these things.

Seriously. Nobody is getting turned on by these things. It’s ok to be comfortable in your home. I’m not talking about full on nudity outside of the bedroom or bathroom but if someone happens to see my boobs or my husband’s penis for a flash of a second when we are heading from point a to point b in our own home? Deal with it.

And deal with the fact that if your husband “accidentally” flashes an AP -it shows a psychological defect that likely will emerge in your relationship at a later juncture.

I’m so sorry you feel this way. I can’t imagine feeling so insecure in my marriage. I’m sure my husband finds some of our au pairs attractive but he’s not a moron and realizes they do not feel the same way. If they happen to see his body accidentally when he’s in his own home and covered but not fully clothed it does not mean he has a psychological defect.

It's called lack of boundaries.

In what universe is walking from ones bedroom to the bathroom in boxes “predatory”. Get a grip.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In our house we don’t cover up all that much. Nobody deliberately flashes anyone or exposes themselves but we are teaching our kids that you don’t have to be uncomfortable or cover your body 24/7 in your own home. If i spend a weekend with girlfriends I cover up. I cover up in public. I am modest in locker rooms (but don’t freak out if the towel doesn’t cover everything). With my family? I might get a glass of water from the kitchen in the morning in a T-shirt and panties. I might walk around in just a bra while I iron my blouse. My husband might run out to put out the trash in his boxers. The Au Pair has seen these things.

Seriously. Nobody is getting turned on by these things. It’s ok to be comfortable in your home. I’m not talking about full on nudity outside of the bedroom or bathroom but if someone happens to see my boobs or my husband’s penis for a flash of a second when we are heading from point a to point b in our own home? Deal with it.

And deal with the fact that if your husband “accidentally” flashes an AP -it shows a psychological defect that likely will emerge in your relationship at a later juncture.

I’m so sorry you feel this way. I can’t imagine feeling so insecure in my marriage. I’m sure my husband finds some of our au pairs attractive but he’s not a moron and realizes they do not feel the same way. If they happen to see his body accidentally when he’s in his own home and covered but not fully clothed it does not mean he has a psychological defect.

Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. I don't think any of the posters are insecure--predatory behavior is predatory behavior

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In our house we don’t cover up all that much. Nobody deliberately flashes anyone or exposes themselves but we are teaching our kids that you don’t have to be uncomfortable or cover your body 24/7 in your own home. If i spend a weekend with girlfriends I cover up. I cover up in public. I am modest in locker rooms (but don’t freak out if the towel doesn’t cover everything). With my family? I might get a glass of water from the kitchen in the morning in a T-shirt and panties. I might walk around in just a bra while I iron my blouse. My husband might run out to put out the trash in his boxers. The Au Pair has seen these things.

Seriously. Nobody is getting turned on by these things. It’s ok to be comfortable in your home. I’m not talking about full on nudity outside of the bedroom or bathroom but if someone happens to see my boobs or my husband’s penis for a flash of a second when we are heading from point a to point b in our own home? Deal with it.

And deal with the fact that if your husband “accidentally” flashes an AP -it shows a psychological defect that likely will emerge in your relationship at a later juncture.

I’m so sorry you feel this way. I can’t imagine feeling so insecure in my marriage. I’m sure my husband finds some of our au pairs attractive but he’s not a moron and realizes they do not feel the same way. If they happen to see his body accidentally when he’s in his own home and covered but not fully clothed it does not mean he has a psychological defect.

Anonymous wrote:In our house we don’t cover up all that much. Nobody deliberately flashes anyone or exposes themselves but we are teaching our kids that you don’t have to be uncomfortable or cover your body 24/7 in your own home. If i spend a weekend with girlfriends I cover up. I cover up in public. I am modest in locker rooms (but don’t freak out if the towel doesn’t cover everything). With my family? I might get a glass of water from the kitchen in the morning in a T-shirt and panties. I might walk around in just a bra while I iron my blouse. My husband might run out to put out the trash in his boxers. The Au Pair has seen these things.

Seriously. Nobody is getting turned on by these things. It’s ok to be comfortable in your home. I’m not talking about full on nudity outside of the bedroom or bathroom but if someone happens to see my boobs or my husband’s penis for a flash of a second when we are heading from point a to point b in our own home? Deal with it.

And deal with the fact that if your husband “accidentally” flashes an AP -it shows a psychological defect that likely will emerge in your relationship at a later juncture.

Anonymous wrote:^^ The prudish DCUM harpies think you and your family should be filleted for that.

Your sexism is duly noted.

^^ The prudish DCUM harpies think you and your family should be filleted for that.

In our house we don’t cover up all that much. Nobody deliberately flashes anyone or exposes themselves but we are teaching our kids that you don’t have to be uncomfortable or cover your body 24/7 in your own home. If i spend a weekend with girlfriends I cover up. I cover up in public. I am modest in locker rooms (but don’t freak out if the towel doesn’t cover everything). With my family? I might get a glass of water from the kitchen in the morning in a T-shirt and panties. I might walk around in just a bra while I iron my blouse. My husband might run out to put out the trash in his boxers. The Au Pair has seen these things.

Seriously. Nobody is getting turned on by these things. It’s ok to be comfortable in your home. I’m not talking about full on nudity outside of the bedroom or bathroom but if someone happens to see my boobs or my husband’s penis for a flash of a second when we are heading from point a to point b in our own home? Deal with it.