Anonymous
Post 02/28/2020 12:35     Subject: "I eat everything," she said in the interview...
Anonymous wrote: You can do you, and I can do me- both are fine. But sharing a dinner table is going to make it difficult for me so it's just not the best match. And that's okay. APs screen for the same. Weight is a lifestyle issue and people with compatible lifestyles are more likely to get along.


So if I have an extra scoop of mashed potatoes and am a size 12 instead of a 6 we can't get along?
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2020 11:42     Subject: Re:"I eat everything," she said in the interview...
Anonymous wrote:OP here: for all the people who think I was so mean to this poor girl, she'll be in rematch soon with APIA (for a major safety violation with my kids, which I doubt will be listed on rematch documents). She called for rematch first, because she is so unhappy that I was "mean" to her by reporting the major safety violation to the agency. So good luck with that one-- I am glad to be rid of her!


Thank goodness she is free from your abusive employ!
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2020 09:21     Subject: Re:"I eat everything," she said in the interview...
Anonymous wrote:OP here: for all the people who think I was so mean to this poor girl, she'll be in rematch soon with APIA (for a major safety violation with my kids, which I doubt will be listed on rematch documents). She called for rematch first, because she is so unhappy that I was "mean" to her by reporting the major safety violation to the agency. So good luck with that one-- I am glad to be rid of her!


I am so happy your AP will get a second chance. Your family clearly was a terrible fir for her.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2020 09:14     Subject: Re:"I eat everything," she said in the interview...
OP here: for all the people who think I was so mean to this poor girl, she'll be in rematch soon with APIA (for a major safety violation with my kids, which I doubt will be listed on rematch documents). She called for rematch first, because she is so unhappy that I was "mean" to her by reporting the major safety violation to the agency. So good luck with that one-- I am glad to be rid of her!
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2020 21:14     Subject: "I eat everything," she said in the interview...
Anonymous wrote:I'm the pp that you guys are roasting for not wanting the influence of an overweight person in my daily diet. Look, it defies physics to claim that morbidly obese people take in the same amount of food as healthy weight individuals. While there are individual variations, it's just not physically possible to eat the correct calories for your weight and not lose weight if you're obese. I understand calories in/calories out is imperfect, but its roughly accurate.

I also can't rely on self reporting when a morbidly obese AP claims that she is the genetic unicorn that eats a 1600 calorie diet daily, but the laws of physics don't apply to her. Your physique is USUALLY (health conditions aside) the embodiment of your choices. People are very bad at self reporting anything that makes them look responsible for their problems- people underreport calories and alcohol, and overreport exercise and charity donations.

Finally, I am speaking from experience. I hosted one overweight and one obese AP. Both ate in excess very frequently and occasionally binged. They often pushed for dessert, unhealthy dinners, etc and I wanted to please so I did. Even if these people, whose bodies are resistant to thermodynamics, do indeed exist, they are so rare as to be the exception and not the norm. And it's fine with me that for most people being of a healthy weight isn't that important. You can do you, and I can do me- both are fine. But sharing a dinner table is going to make it difficult for me so it's just not the best match. And that's okay. APs screen for the same. Weight is a lifestyle issue and people with compatible lifestyles are more likely to get along.


So long as you self-report, e.g., “I am a bigot: no fatties,” I think you’re fine.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2020 17:08     Subject: "I eat everything," she said in the interview...
I'm the pp that you guys are roasting for not wanting the influence of an overweight person in my daily diet. Look, it defies physics to claim that morbidly obese people take in the same amount of food as healthy weight individuals. While there are individual variations, it's just not physically possible to eat the correct calories for your weight and not lose weight if you're obese. I understand calories in/calories out is imperfect, but its roughly accurate.

I also can't rely on self reporting when a morbidly obese AP claims that she is the genetic unicorn that eats a 1600 calorie diet daily, but the laws of physics don't apply to her. Your physique is USUALLY (health conditions aside) the embodiment of your choices. People are very bad at self reporting anything that makes them look responsible for their problems- people underreport calories and alcohol, and overreport exercise and charity donations.

Finally, I am speaking from experience. I hosted one overweight and one obese AP. Both ate in excess very frequently and occasionally binged. They often pushed for dessert, unhealthy dinners, etc and I wanted to please so I did. Even if these people, whose bodies are resistant to thermodynamics, do indeed exist, they are so rare as to be the exception and not the norm. And it's fine with me that for most people being of a healthy weight isn't that important. You can do you, and I can do me- both are fine. But sharing a dinner table is going to make it difficult for me so it's just not the best match. And that's okay. APs screen for the same. Weight is a lifestyle issue and people with compatible lifestyles are more likely to get along.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2020 13:33     Subject: Re:"I eat everything," she said in the interview...
Anonymous wrote:https://www.oprah.com/health/not-losing-weight-3-possible-explanations/all


heaviest people in his practice, and they had lower cholesterol and triglycerides than most of his other patients.


Yep, that’s me. My triglycerides, sodium, glucose and cholesterol are all low. But I’m morbidly obese, even though I eat mostly vegetables with some lean proteins in smaller portions that I’d feed a preschool aged child. If I eat less than 1.5k cal per day, I pass out. I use my food scale religiously, track every calorie I eat, and I only drink water. So please! Try to understand that weight is NOT synonymous with diet!
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2020 13:19     Subject: "I eat everything," she said in the interview...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:New Poster here. Fat is not healthy. And we are a healthy family. We are not super thin, but we are in no way fat. Give it another month, then try again with a rematch.

can she keep up with the kids?


I'm fat (size 16-18). And I can run a half marathon, have zero health problems at 45 years old, and can definitely keep up with my kids.




You are demonstrating exactly why diet is key here- you can't outrun the fork. And people with obesity were often raised to favor less healthy food, in portions that stimulate weight gain. Overweight people eat more because they eat more- their appetite adjusts to their intake so that their body perceives they need a certain amount.

And as social animals, we take cues off each other. We dish up plates in roughly equal portions, eat similar quantities, etc so when you dine with overweight people, you tend to eat more. This is why entire countries tend toward being lean or bulky- we influence each other, and obesity is a social disease.

For me, it's more than role modeling for the kids. It's also a check on myself. I don't want to gain weight, and I do things that help moderate my intake. It's not easy to stay thin when you're constantly given large portions at restaurants, there are treats at work, drinks on the weekends, etc. All of this has to be effectively managed. And having all adults on the same page about food choices helps. So the hostility isn't just "fat shaming" but rather it is self protection against catching obesity.


You’re talking about food choices and portion sizes, not weight and overall health. As another pp stated, you don’t know why they’re overweight.

Totally acceptable to state that you will it any fruits or vegetables, normal portions of starches and proteins and infrequent sweets. Also completely acceptable that all food eaten in front of kids must be reasonably healthy and appropriately portioned.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2020 05:41     Subject: Re:"I eat everything," she said in the interview...
https://www.oprah.com/health/not-losing-weight-3-possible-explanations/all
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2020 00:05     Subject: "I eat everything," she said in the interview...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:New Poster here. Fat is not healthy. And we are a healthy family. We are not super thin, but we are in no way fat. Give it another month, then try again with a rematch.

can she keep up with the kids?


I'm fat (size 16-18). And I can run a half marathon, have zero health problems at 45 years old, and can definitely keep up with my kids.




You are demonstrating exactly why diet is key here- you can't outrun the fork. And people with obesity were often raised to favor less healthy food, in portions that stimulate weight gain. Overweight people eat more because they eat more- their appetite adjusts to their intake so that their body perceives they need a certain amount.

And as social animals, we take cues off each other. We dish up plates in roughly equal portions, eat similar quantities, etc so when you dine with overweight people, you tend to eat more. This is why entire countries tend toward being lean or bulky- we influence each other, and obesity is a social disease.

For me, it's more than role modeling for the kids. It's also a check on myself. I don't want to gain weight, and I do things that help moderate my intake. It's not easy to stay thin when you're constantly given large portions at restaurants, there are treats at work, drinks on the weekends, etc. All of this has to be effectively managed. And having all adults on the same page about food choices helps. So the hostility isn't just "fat shaming" but rather it is self protection against catching obesity.


Well, I've officially read the most ridiculous thing I will read all month.

My best friend from high school is morbidly obese. She was overweight throughout high school, became obese in college, and then became morbidly obese after kids. She and I lived together on and off for about 4 years in total. She ate such a healthy diet and walked every single day we lived together unless she was taking an exercise class. She didn't drink alcohol at all, she ate a varied and mostly vegetarian diet. Once in a blue moon we would buy Oreos and eat them on a Friday night. Or we'd make a cake for a special occasion and she'd have a piece. She did NOT overeat any more than any thin person does. To this day when I spend time with her and her family I am impressed by the healthy foods she and her family consume (and her kids are unfortunately overweight in their early teen years).

so maybe...just maybe....being fat isn't because you are weak. or because you have a "social disease" but because humans have a variety of shapes and sizes that our genetics sometimes dictate. Obviously there are lots and lots of overweight and obese people with terrible dietary habits. but I guess I think there are also a ton (pun intended) of thin young women who eat terribly and are still thin because they are young and active. When they are 40 they will be overweight if they don't change their habits.

What do you want though? You want an active person who demonstrates healthy eating habits? Screen for that and ignore their physical appearance. Otherwise you're really a pretty gross person.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2020 21:37     Subject: "I eat everything," she said in the interview...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:New Poster here. Fat is not healthy. And we are a healthy family. We are not super thin, but we are in no way fat. Give it another month, then try again with a rematch.

can she keep up with the kids?


I'm fat (size 16-18). And I can run a half marathon, have zero health problems at 45 years old, and can definitely keep up with my kids.




You are demonstrating exactly why diet is key here- you can't outrun the fork. And people with obesity were often raised to favor less healthy food, in portions that stimulate weight gain. Overweight people eat more because they eat more- their appetite adjusts to their intake so that their body perceives they need a certain amount.

And as social animals, we take cues off each other. We dish up plates in roughly equal portions, eat similar quantities, etc so when you dine with overweight people, you tend to eat more. This is why entire countries tend toward being lean or bulky- we influence each other, and obesity is a social disease.

For me, it's more than role modeling for the kids. It's also a check on myself. I don't want to gain weight, and I do things that help moderate my intake. It's not easy to stay thin when you're constantly given large portions at restaurants, there are treats at work, drinks on the weekends, etc. All of this has to be effectively managed. And having all adults on the same page about food choices helps. So the hostility isn't just "fat shaming" but rather it is self protection against catching obesity.


You are horrible. Sometimes it cannot be controlled. I'm on a medication that has a known side effect for weight gain. I eat reasonably health, tons of salads and mostly vegetables and still cannot get the weight off. You don't get how it works and sometimes it is genetics.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2020 21:31     Subject: "I eat everything," she said in the interview...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:New Poster here. Fat is not healthy. And we are a healthy family. We are not super thin, but we are in no way fat. Give it another month, then try again with a rematch.

can she keep up with the kids?


I'm fat (size 16-18). And I can run a half marathon, have zero health problems at 45 years old, and can definitely keep up with my kids.




You are demonstrating exactly why diet is key here- you can't outrun the fork. And people with obesity were often raised to favor less healthy food, in portions that stimulate weight gain. Overweight people eat more because they eat more- their appetite adjusts to their intake so that their body perceives they need a certain amount.

And as social animals, we take cues off each other. We dish up plates in roughly equal portions, eat similar quantities, etc so when you dine with overweight people, you tend to eat more. This is why entire countries tend toward being lean or bulky- we influence each other, and obesity is a social disease.

For me, it's more than role modeling for the kids. It's also a check on myself. I don't want to gain weight, and I do things that help moderate my intake. It's not easy to stay thin when you're constantly given large portions at restaurants, there are treats at work, drinks on the weekends, etc. All of this has to be effectively managed. And having all adults on the same page about food choices helps. So the hostility isn't just "fat shaming" but rather it is self protection against catching obesity.


Sure hope your children don’t “catch” your ignorance. Scary!
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2020 17:05     Subject: "I eat everything," she said in the interview...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:New Poster here. Fat is not healthy. And we are a healthy family. We are not super thin, but we are in no way fat. Give it another month, then try again with a rematch.

can she keep up with the kids?


I'm fat (size 16-18). And I can run a half marathon, have zero health problems at 45 years old, and can definitely keep up with my kids.




You are demonstrating exactly why diet is key here- you can't outrun the fork. And people with obesity were often raised to favor less healthy food, in portions that stimulate weight gain. Overweight people eat more because they eat more- their appetite adjusts to their intake so that their body perceives they need a certain amount.

And as social animals, we take cues off each other. We dish up plates in roughly equal portions, eat similar quantities, etc so when you dine with overweight people, you tend to eat more. This is why entire countries tend toward being lean or bulky- we influence each other, and obesity is a social disease.

For me, it's more than role modeling for the kids. It's also a check on myself. I don't want to gain weight, and I do things that help moderate my intake. It's not easy to stay thin when you're constantly given large portions at restaurants, there are treats at work, drinks on the weekends, etc. All of this has to be effectively managed. And having all adults on the same page about food choices helps. So the hostility isn't just "fat shaming" but rather it is self protection against catching obesity.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2020 15:53     Subject: "I eat everything," she said in the interview...
APs constantly criticize Americans for being overweight and that's okay. Why is it not ok for a HF to have the exact same hangups?

I also had a hard time with overweight APs and stopped hosting them. I can't stand buying a box of cookies or a carton of ice cream that should last a couple weeks for the entire family only to find them gone. Ordering milkshakes with dinner, a side of something fattening, and dessert. It's bad role modeling. And sorry, but being overweight is unhealthy and increases depression.
Anonymous
Post 02/25/2020 07:17     Subject: "I eat everything," she said in the interview...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Diet soda is bad for you... but, she doesn’t need to tell you that especially since it sounds like she has terrible eating habits. I would rematch over this. It’s a clear mismatch in expectations.


Nope. A diet soda here and there isn’t bad for you, nor is a regular soda or a glass of wine. Any of those things (and really mostly anything you ingest) in excess is “bad for you”...


Aspartame is indeed bad for you.


So is alcohol. So is saturated fat. Etc. Etc.


Yep. I don’t drink alcohol or eat or drink aspartame. And I limit saturated fat. It still has no bearing on whether an AP is fat and/or healthy.


You can eat unhealthy foods in moderation and still be healthy overall. Like if I drink one diet soda a week, that’s not irreparably damaging my health. Just like you eat saturated fat sometimes, and clearly believe that you are still an overall healthy person. See how that works?