Anonymous wrote:I want to subsume this thread, even in wake of COVID! One aspect is unclear to me though. It seems there is a lot of debate about what is and isn't acceptable - and how parents often engage in similar activities when watching their kids. But the different - and i am unclear why this isn't underscored more often - is that these are full time paid employees!

I am facing a similar issue and hope to find more clarity with more responses in this thread. I have an OK nanny within a two-baby nanny share. She is loving, nice, trustworthy with 15+ years of experience and certainly supervises the kids well.

Sounds more like a great nanny to me, but opinions differ.

But at the same time she is sometimes on her phone and talking to friends when watching the kids.

How long? If it’s under 15 minutes and/or an emergency, let it go. If she’s watching the babies and talking on a Bluetooth device (microphone, watch), let it go.

She sometimes takes a nap during the nap time

Normal, though not something every infant/share nanny does.

and doesn't always hear one of the babies waking up to cry

If this is true, she should be gone already.

or lets one baby wait for a while in the crib playing alone.

While she takes care of the other baby? Absolutely normal. If the other baby is asleep, major red flag.

She doesn't always engage the kids with activities or reading or singing,

Even babies need time to just breathe and think.

she lets the babies play but isn't actively playing with them,

Again, the babies need time to play without interaction.

she doesn't go the extra mile to do their laundry etc.

Most share nannies don’t do laundry or anything else not directly related to care of the children.

All in all, like OP, she is OK - not amazing - but OK. Through the share the nanny is paid $25 per hour with 1 hour of overtime per day at $37.5.

In other words, you pay $12.50/hour, and since she works 45 hours per week, you pay $18.75 each for 5 hours

This is roughly $60,000

In other words, you pay $30k, MUCH less than you would pay for your own nanny, let alone a nanny with 15 years of experience.

and i believe generously paid, with vacations / sick days included, etc.

You didn’t indicate what the benefits are, so we have no idea how generous they really are.

I have seen alot of comments on this thread. But I want to push back on the idea about micromanaging.

Of course, a nanny should be able to have an hour of rest and eat lunch during nap time.

Should we be grateful for your generosity?

But during the other paid hours, I DO expect complete attention.

Constant attention is not good. Constant supervision and guidance and interaction geared to directly benefit the children is good for them.

As a professional at my job I am expected to be fully "on" during my work hours,

Do you work in a field where the slightest mistake can cause death? Where anything and everything can go wrong if you aren’t careful? Where you are expected to plan things during unpaid time, but you’re an hourly worker?

take on new tasks,

Nannies do, when it’s appropriate.

adapt to management requests, etc.

It depends on whether the “requests” are reasonable and within the scope of the job.

Jobs can be hard - this is why we get paid.

Since the nanny is a paid professional, i DO expect hours worked to be active (outside of atleast an hour of lunch). For instance, when kids are playing by themselves, try to develop new art projects or reading times, etc.

Not appropriate. Attention should be on the children, even if only watching while they play.

Come prepared the next day with new activities or adventures.

You are asking for unpaid work after hours. No. Asking the nanny to plan during the remainder of naptime is appropriate.

Don't force longer nap schedules just to have more rest times.

Agreed.

Again, this nanny has alot of good qualities. But for the price tag some of these elements bother me as well.

Given how much YOU pay, and that she deals with two babies and two families? No, it’s reasonable.

Should i settle for a good, not great nanny? Is this actually a great nanny (as others have made mention in the past)?

I’m not understanding why others can see that she’s great, but you can’t.

Are my expectations to high? And if so, why?

Yes, explained above.

When we expect the same level of effort with teachers and daycare employees and other professional staff.

You don’t expect the same of a nanny as the rest. A nanny has sole charge of children, the rest don’t. A nanny schedules bathroom, meals, and breaks around the children; the others have child-free times because there are others to take over. A nanny also works directly with a family, with nobody to play interference when a family is unreasonable, while other child-centered careers have at least one person as an intermediary when things are tense.

Anonymous wrote:

Bc YOU aren’t paying $60,000 a year. You are paying half that. You aren’t paying for a full nanny. You are paying for half a nanny but more like a babysitter. If you want the professional nanny then that’s what YOU pay for. Leave the nanny share and hire your own nanny with your own contract and requirements. You don’t get to pay for a Target fake leather handbag and demand it be CHANEL.

This logically makes no sense. Who cares if it’s one family, two families, one family with multiple kids or a third party paying the salary. Why would that change work ethic or the need to engage actively with children when on the clock? Salary is salary, and paid time should be active. I still don’t understand the issue with logic. But perhaps this is futile and clearly there are nanny trolls patrolling the site

The nanny cares and so do you. If you didn’t care you wouldn’t be splitting the cost of a nanny and whining about how your nanny isn’t professional enough.