Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here. If I wanted to take off for weeks at a time at my professional job, my boss would have a problem. That kind of attitude would cost me a good raise, the next promotion, and possibly a job.

It just shows that your nanny feels entitled to her job and is not taking it seriously. You are totally within your rights to deny the vacation. You should take it into consideration next time she asks for a raise or if you start having other problems. She is there to do a job for money. That means she has to do it. Simple as that.

Sorry you have to deal with the moping. That's unprofessional and when they are like that around your children and family, the MB is at a disadvantage. I think a lot of nannies milk that.

She’s not going to Vegas! She’s going to spend time with her family, for the holiday’s! How does that mean she doesn’t love her job?! How many hours does this nanny work? How long has she been with this family? Is she calling out every week? I just don’t understand how someone taken extra vacation time (especially to see family) make them a bad employee. She’s a nanny, not working at a law firm- hell #45 been golfing how many times?! Being a nanny is a hard job!! Especially, working with multiple children and don’t get me started on working with multiple families (in a share). I give it to you nannies who work 50-60 hr week and still get 2 weeks vacation and one 1 week is of your employers chosen.

Seriously? She is taking THREE WEEKS off in April 2018. And she wants ANOTHER THREE WEEKS off in December 2018. Yeah..... NO!

Tell her she cannot have more than one week off. Tell her, too, that you are not able to be flexible at that time of year - you need her to work, you agreed to the 3 weeks in April because you can make it work with family, etc. but December is too busy. Then be done with it - she'll mope.

And, yes, if she leaves to go to her home country for 11/2 weeks in December, EXPECT her to text/email/call you and tell you that there is a family emergency and she'll have to stay longer. And then you can fire her.

OR, I guess you could sit her down and say "I can't spare you 3 weeks in December. If that's a deal breaker and you really need to go to your country for 3 weeks, then you should start looking for another job and I'm going to start looking for another nanny. I appreciate your honesty, but I need to be honest, too, and I cannot be without someone at that time for 3 weeks.

And for your next nanny, write into a contract that "you have 3 weeks total of vacation each year, 2 of your own decision, 1 that is our decision, and no more than 10 business days in a row. That will cover it. I just wrote that into our new vacation policy, too, because I was having employees wanting to take 3 weeks off in a row because they had that much time - I can't run a business with one person gone for 3 whole weeks! and the "don't worry, you don't need to pay me for it" doesn't work - it's not the money - it's that I can't have someone gone for 3 weeks in a row! If you want to do stuff and not get paid, then quit and you can permanently be unpaid.

Anonymous wrote:I think you are setting yourself up for disappointment here. If this were clearly some very extraordinary circumstance (eg terminal illness of a close family member) and she both communicated the reason to you and made it clear it was a one-time occurrence, going out of your way as you suggest may be a worthwhile solution to keep a great nanny. However, everything in your description seems to indicate that your generosity thus far has been interpreted as a larger degree of flexibility and more PTO than is actually the case. If you offer to fly in her family and put them up in a hotel for 3 weeks, she will view that as the norm and a standard benefit going forward and you will run into this issue again next year.

Not to mention, she may be going back mainly to see her immediate family but will also want to spend time with cousins, aunts, uncles, childhood friends... your offer will seem like a mediocre compromise that only gets her 25% of what she actually wanted.

+1000. We had a lot of issues with our nanny surrounding PTO and other things because of her past employers flexibility. Where we thought we were doing her a huge favor in regards to fronting PTO, letting her choose all her time, etc she took it as the norm. No gratitude whatsoever for our flexibility. Don’t do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She did quite a bit of traveling last year. She had her 3 weeks off but took them off 1 week at a time. We took a 2 week vacation last summer so she got that off as well. We have not made any vacation plans for this summer but I imagine it will be something similar.

We are still thinking about it. I decided not to make a final decisions until she returned from her trip in April. She could very well be homesick.

This is your problem.
Have you heard they phrase "Give them an inch and they'll take a mile"? This is your nanny. In her mind, she had 5 weeks off last year, and now that is her expectation. If you plan to keep her long term, you need to reset the expectation back to 3 week per year. Remind her of that. Show her the contract again. Like any boss, you need to stick to the rules the majority of the time, so that employees abide by them. You can make a RARE exception, rather than the exceptions becoming the norm.

+++ I'm afraid this sums it up. Be careful about going overboard to accommodate this extraordinary request. It will not pay in the end.

Anonymous wrote:She did quite a bit of traveling last year. She had her 3 weeks off but took them off 1 week at a time. We took a 2 week vacation last summer so she got that off as well. We have not made any vacation plans for this summer but I imagine it will be something similar.

We are still thinking about it. I decided not to make a final decisions until she returned from her trip in April. She could very well be homesick.

This is your problem.
Have you heard they phrase "Give them an inch and they'll take a mile"? This is your nanny. In her mind, she had 5 weeks off last year, and now that is her expectation. If you plan to keep her long term, you need to reset the expectation back to 3 week per year. Remind her of that. Show her the contract again. Like any boss, you need to stick to the rules the majority of the time, so that employees abide by them. You can make a RARE exception, rather than the exceptions becoming the norm.

I think you are setting yourself up for disappointment here. If this were clearly some very extraordinary circumstance (eg terminal illness of a close family member) and she both communicated the reason to you and made it clear it was a one-time occurrence, going out of your way as you suggest may be a worthwhile solution to keep a great nanny. However, everything in your description seems to indicate that your generosity thus far has been interpreted as a larger degree of flexibility and more PTO than is actually the case. If you offer to fly in her family and put them up in a hotel for 3 weeks, she will view that as the norm and a standard benefit going forward and you will run into this issue again next year.

Not to mention, she may be going back mainly to see her immediate family but will also want to spend time with cousins, aunts, uncles, childhood friends... your offer will seem like a mediocre compromise that only gets her 25% of what she actually wanted.