So OP what did you decide to do after all of the mixed feedback

She left this circus.

Anonymous wrote:To clarify, I'm the poster who had a candidate tell me that a host family offered $250. We found her application and thought she seemed perfect. We exchanged some emails and skyped. She seemed very keen and we offered her a match. She didn't write back for a day and then wrote back telling me that she really liked our family and it was a hard choice but that another family had offered her $250. She wasn't holding it over my head or trying to get me to match it, I think she just wanted me to know. I don't know anything else about the family she matched with to know whether she made a bad choice...an extra $50 wouldn't be worth it to me if the family are unreasonable, didn't allow me to use a vehicle, etc. But I just don't know.

I just realized that we sometimes have lost candidates that we really liked who I thought really liked us...and I'm wondering how common it is that people actually OFFER more than $200/week in matching to sweeten the pot.

Sounds like OP didn't make the decision but the AP did by matching with the other family first.

I interpret it differently that since the AP chose to tell the OP about the offer, why would the AP mention it unless it is to test the waters and see if the OP is willing to entertain the idea. It is a passive aggressive way of "holding it over my heard". If the difference in stipend doesn't factor into the AP's decision, then the AP can make a decision on her own without ever sharing this info with the HF at all. Why share this with the OP otherwise?

Any self-report on this forum on how many HF offer more is anecdotal and honestly, don't give into peer pressure. Do what sounds right for you and your family, what you have the ability and desire to offer. Who know if the people reporting that they offer more are actually HF even. If you lost candidates, then it was just not meant to be - as the saying goes ... "she is just not that into you". Don't second guess what you did or offered. Another awesome AP, maybe an even more awesome one, is just around the corner.

Exactly. Living in an American upper middle class life for a year. When I was 20, I certainly wasn’t buying premium groceries...organic fruits and veggies, almond milk, etc. I also shared a 2 bedroom/1 bathroom apartment with three guys and one girl. $200/week to spend on extras is not so bad...

But, if AP program wants to find a way to House/feed APs, I will happily pay an hourly wage!

To clarify, I'm the poster who had a candidate tell me that a host family offered $250. We found her application and thought she seemed perfect. We exchanged some emails and skyped. She seemed very keen and we offered her a match. She didn't write back for a day and then wrote back telling me that she really liked our family and it was a hard choice but that another family had offered her $250. She wasn't holding it over my head or trying to get me to match it, I think she just wanted me to know. I don't know anything else about the family she matched with to know whether she made a bad choice...an extra $50 wouldn't be worth it to me if the family are unreasonable, didn't allow me to use a vehicle, etc. But I just don't know.

I just realized that we sometimes have lost candidates that we really liked who I thought really liked us...and I'm wondering how common it is that people actually OFFER more than $200/week in matching to sweeten the pot.

^^^^^ This poster (the former AP from Germany who posts fairly regularly) raises the reasonableness factor of this board by a good 20 points! ^^^^^^^^ Thank you PP for having a balanced perspective on this and many other things.

Anonymous wrote:And what is the typical cost of living increase anyway? 2%?

APs received $149.50 (I think, my HF always rounded up to $150, for everybody's convenience) in 1999. According to the US Inflation Calculator those $150 would today be worth $222.

Did I consider $150 per week decent in 1999? Yes (doesn't mean I saved any of it).
Did I consider it even more decent in 2000 when I was a poor university student in my homecountry living of 750 German Marks (~ $335) per month (!) before having all my expenses paid (allowedly, my rent was a whooping 325 DM / $146)? Heck, yes.
And while currency and cost have changed, the $840 (955 Euros) an AP receives per month vs. the 864 Euros ($760) the average German university student has at their disposal before they have paid for housing, food etc.? Yes, I still think it's decent.
Do you know what APs receive per month in Germany? 260 Euros, less than $230 (approx. $55 a week). Now, THAT is a ridiculously low stipend (for a 30 hr week, we are talking $1.80 per hour), especially compared to the minimum wage of 8.50 Euros ($7.50).

"The average income for a college student, according to the National Center for Educational Statistics in the study previously mentioned is $14,400." (https://bizfluent.com/info-7934153-average-college-students-income.html), so $280 per week (based on a 30 hour work-week according to the study), yes they will receive scholar ships or financial support from their parents but I think comparing the AP stipend to a college student's avarage income is the way to go (similar age bracket, most likely similar previous work experience, so entry-level jobs). And you know what? I still think $200, all basic living expenses paid, is still decent!

The current federal minimum wage is $7.25 per hour, so an AP working full-time (45 hrs) on minimum wage would earn $326.25 a week. A room for rent on craigslist in DC is what? $500? Let's say $126.25 a week (just to make the maths easier; UVa charges their first years $115 a week for housing)... great, they have just earned $326.25 and paid $126.25 for a room, are down to the weekly AP stipend and haven't eaten yet (UVa's meal plan is what? about $50 a week?). It's still decent. APs are not single mothers who have to house, clothe or feed three children and get themselves to work by car/bus/bike. You also cannot compare an AP to a live-out nanny who needs to cover "real life expenses" like rent, car, insurance, food, phone etc. APs get thrown into solid upper middle class life, they don't have to worry about paying rent or putting food on the table. So yes, I still think $200 a week is decent.

It's a stipend. It's pocket money rather than a salary (I don't agree that a stipend should be taxable but that really is a totally different story).
Is it a lot of money? No. But APs also have barely any qualification for the job, other than holding a high-school degree (and if they are more qualified they can join the extraordinaire program which offers a higher stipend) and (often) minimal work experience. Nobody has to spend $5 on a White Chocolate Mocha at Starbucks every day (and nobody should have a WCM at Starbucks every day, for health reasons), nobody has to spend $8/10/15 at the Cheesecake Factory every night. Spending your money of stuff you don't need is a "luxury." Starbucks, eating out, going to the movies... all luxuries. That APs can afford because their cost of living is covered by their HFs. Because we earn more than minimal wage (and have spent years and years on our education and work experience to do so) out AP's get the luxury of not having to worry about all the things we might have had to worry about in our late teens / early 20s.

Do I think how the money a family spends on the program is allocated correctly? No, I don't. Would I mind an increase in stipend for the APs? No, I wouldn't. Do I think rounding up to $200 is a big deal? No, I don't. Would I do it for an AP that asks? No, I wouldn't.

For those who are here to make money to send home, they will save every penny that they can, do only free activities, do not go out to eat, do not buy anything non-essential, take illegal second and third jobs on the side, and probably would be swayed to stay with a HF giving above the $195.75 per week.

Not every AP is here for the same reasons. We need to keep that in mind. So the AP reason needs to fit with what the HF wants in an AP program. If there is a misalignment in desire and motivation, it will be a long one year. Lid for every pot.

Great point. They can match with the HP who advertise their $250 stipend!

This also must be why in the many years and no less than 30 interviews, the stipend has never once come up...not once. Perhaps because the AP we look for and the HF they appear to be looking for are more about the culture exchange aspect of the program. And not just exchanging with HF but having time for exchange opportunities outside of the HF. I think our current AP is a lot more appreciative that I make a point to come home 15 minutes earlier so she can make it to a local conversation group than if I pay her a few more dollars.

So OP what did you decide to do after all of the mixed feedback?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? I would have been thrilled with $100 (taking 20 years ago into account!) bill free cash per week to spend on my social life. APs have it made...$195 or 200. Our APs travel, buy stuff, eat out, and still go home with a good chunk of cash. If their stipend sucked so much they wouldn’t come here in droves.

We come to the US for the experience itself, not the money !
You're too dumb to get that.

Former AP.

AP come for all sorts of reasons.
- some for a once-in-a-lifetime experience
- some to fill a gap between high school and college
- some to delay making a decision on what to do after schooling, unsure what to do with their life yet
- some to gain child related experience because they will enter childcare or teaching professions after they return home
- some to make money to send home
- etc.

For those who are here to make money to send home, they will save every penny that they can, do only free activities, do not go out to eat, do not buy anything non-essential, take illegal second and third jobs on the side, and probably would be swayed to stay with a HF giving above the $195.75 per week.

Not every AP is here for the same reasons. We need to keep that in mind. So the AP reason needs to fit with what the HF wants in an AP program. If there is a misalignment in desire and motivation, it will be a long one year. Lid for every pot.

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious? I would have been thrilled with $100 (taking 20 years ago into account!) bill free cash per week to spend on my social life. APs have it made...$195 or 200. Our APs travel, buy stuff, eat out, and still go home with a good chunk of cash. If their stipend sucked so much they wouldn’t come here in droves.

We come to the US for the experience itself, not the money !
You're too dumb to get that.

Former AP.

As a host mom, I am stunned that none of you seem to think that this is a problem. Do you also think that it's fine that the minium salary has not increased in 10 years? That a single mom working at minimum wage might not have seen an increase in 10 years? Yes, she has more 'important' expenses, but at the core, it's the same issue. Everything costs more, but salaries have not increased. And you are arguing over $4.25 per week? Do you realize how absurd it looks from the outside?

Really? I would leave this program before I paid a penny more than $200 for the stipend unless the agency offset the cost. If you are so up in arms about the stipend, how about taking it up with the agency?

And what is the typical cost of living increase anyway? 2%? Well then I already pay well over that in the form of her personal gas, toiletries, and special food requests.

And I am sure the whopping $4.25/week makes a huge difference.

Also, I would never knowingly match with an AP coming here to make money to send home to a sick relative. Again, I think you have the wrong program.

Anonymous wrote:

Of course, people make their own decisions based on what is important to them. It doesn't mean that we host parents shouldn't make ethical decisions, just because an 18yr old German girl is ok with it (most likely bc she is so desperate to come to America and eat at Cheesecake Factory). Hopefully you and I have more life experience to make that judgement. Oh, and we've had a salary before and we know the value of money in our own country.

As a host mom, I am stunned that none of you seem to think that this is a problem. Do you also think that it's fine that the minium salary has not increased in 10 years? That a single mom working at minimum wage might not have seen an increase in 10 years? Yes, she has more 'important' expenses, but at the core, it's the same issue. Everything costs more, but salaries have not increased. And you are arguing over $4.25 per week? Do you realize how absurd it looks from the outside?

Do you know what a stipend is?? It isn’t a wage and comparing pocket money to the minimum hourly wage and making single Mom comparisons is just absurd. No, I don’t think I need to pay more for her Cheesecake Factory fund. Although I have given AP gift card to the Cheesecake Factory.

I know very well what the stipend is. And I believe the stipend should increase from year to year in line with inflation. How AP chooses to use her stipend is none of our business. Could be Cheesecake factory fun money or it could be sending part of her stipend to a sick relative abroad, who cares? It should increase year to year. You are ignoring the part of the issue that actually matters- it has not increased in 10 years.

Of course, people make their own decisions based on what is important to them. It doesn't mean that we host parents shouldn't make ethical decisions, just because an 18yr old German girl is ok with it (most likely bc she is so desperate to come to America and eat at Cheesecake Factory). Hopefully you and I have more life experience to make that judgement. Oh, and we've had a salary before and we know the value of money in our own country.

As a host mom, I am stunned that none of you seem to think that this is a problem. Do you also think that it's fine that the minium salary has not increased in 10 years? That a single mom working at minimum wage might not have seen an increase in 10 years? Yes, she has more 'important' expenses, but at the core, it's the same issue. Everything costs more, but salaries have not increased. And you are arguing over $4.25 per week? Do you realize how absurd it looks from the outside?

Do you know what a stipend is?? It isn’t a wage and comparing pocket money to the minimum hourly wage and making single Mom comparisons is just absurd. No, I don’t think I need to pay more for her Cheesecake Factory fund. Although I have given AP gift card to the Cheesecake Factory.