Sounds miserable for aupair. Disney Cruise with no people her age, sharing a room with grandma, and being “on call” for a variety of situations that may arise. Stay home AP and hang out with your friends for a week! Or better yet, take your own trip with your own friends! Go on a Disney Cruise when you are 40 and have kids!

I think some of the advice you're getting here is ridiculous.

Can you imagine telling your au pair, gee we'd really like to take you on an all-expense paid Disney cruise, but sorry, we can't, because we'd have to purchase an extra room for you and that makes it prohibitively expensive, so you're staying home. RIDICULOUS!

We've taken several au pairs on cruises with us, and they've all LOVED it. Do it OP. I think its a lovely thing to do. Be realistic and up front about how much of it will be "work" vs vacation, and it should be fine!

Frequently I've asked the AP to share a triple with two kids!!!

I tell them what the rooming arrangements are before we go, and I ASK them if they want to come (understanding they're going to be crammed in a small stateroom with two young boys), and they've all been thrilled to go! They are free to say they want their "private" room and stay home! (I know this is shocking, but none have every opted for that!)

I think just being clear about what the trip is and isn't is very helpful. I've told our au pairs that this is primarily a reward, and we want them to enjoy it as a vacation, and thus, there would be very little "work" -- but that I may ask them to watch the kids for 2-3 hours per day if needed. Our au pairs usually work 35-40 hours a week, so they are thrilled to work only 2-3 hours a day.

I tell them the cruise will cover everything, but if they want excursions, that is on them. I tell them this is their vacation too, so if there is something THEY are dying to do in port (like parasail, or scuba) that we will work with them to make sure they can do that.

It helps that we actually like to spend time with our kids on the cruises-- so they're generally with us most of the day, unless they like the kids club.

Anonymous wrote:I will not expect her to eat with us but she will be welcome. I think we have assigned seats/times so if she wants to eat dinner In the dining room she will likely be seated with us anyway.

OP, I have never cruised Disney but from what I have read about their dining system, please do ask her to have dinner with you every night. My understanding is that Disney is on a "traditional dining" system (fixed time, fixed table, moving restaurants together with your table mates and your service team) - if she doesn't have dinner with you but is booked on your dining (because she is on your reservation and sharing a room with grandma, who I am sure will be at your table) you might be sending her to the buffet each night.

Please also make sure she knows if she is expected to join you for breakfast or if she may join you for breakfast (and if she doesn't because she was up late, please don't mind).

Also think about excursions - what have you planned already, is she welcome to join you, are you going to pay for it?
Do you feel safer knowing she is with you when you are in ports? If yes, have her join you (but that means you pay). If she doesn't join you for excursions, make sure she knows what to do in case she misses the ship (the daiylies, whatever Disney calls theirs, usually has a phone number for the port agent, make her take a picture on her phone and her camera), brief her on when to be bakck on board. Talk to her about keeping save both in port (where are you going? remember that there are unsafe areas in many cruise ports / cities) and on the ship.

Is your AP old enough to drink alcohol on board? If so, talk to her about it. Also make sure she knows that alcoholic drinks (as well as fancy mocktails or special coffee drinks) aren't included in the cruise fare. Does she have a credit card for her own onboard account? If not, come up with a plan NOW. Check if Disney does cash accounts, how much they require per day and ask AP if that's a sum she can cover. If not, you will have to put her on one of your credit cards but you will need rules about how much she can spend (and pay you back later).

Remind her to take something "fancy" for dress-up/formal/semi-formal night (a nice sun dress will do) and prepare her for pirate night especially if you do plan to dress up.

Your AP will most likely be in the least represented age group on board. Make sure she knows that she may potentially find it difficult to meet people her age and to be prepared for it (bring plenty to read, music to listen to, download a few movies to her phone etc.).

Yes, since it is already expensive, why not just get AP her own room and avoid any potential fall out?

My guess? Because Disney is already freaking expensive. By having her share with grandma, OP saves on grandma's single supplement, which probably covers 50-80% of AP's cruise already. We are not talking about adding a $70 single room at a motel somewhere, we are talking spending another full cruise fare plus single supplement (which usually means paying for two minus taxes on the second person). Cruises also usually sail full, they might not be able to a) get their AP her own room or b) able to afford another full single fare for their AP.

If AP isn't 21 yet, Disney might also have rules about how far her cabin is allowed to be away from a guardian's cabin. I don't know Disney's rules. Could be that they are happy with her being 18 and they don't care but if I remember correctly some cruise lines won't let you cruise alone if you are under 21 and have certain restrictions about the location of your cabin (e.g. has to be max. two cabins away from somebody 21+ you are traveling with etc. I don't know if this stops at 18, when they are legally adults, or at 21).

Anonymous wrote:and at the last minute asked our au pair if she wants to join us.

OP, if you have already offered her to come, please do take her. You cannot take it back now. Yes, you can think of booking her into her own cabin (if you want her to work) but please, don't tell her you have changed your mind and she can't come after asking her.

You are also traveling with a back-up plan. You have grandma on the cruise with you. AP can help you on the trip to the port, then grandma can watch the kids on the cruise (if grandma usually lives abroad I am sure both she and the kids would enjoy spending some quality time together, from what I have read it's also more than likely your kids will love the Disney kids club) and AP can help with the kids on the trip back.

***

A normal cruise maybe (staff is allowed to hook up with guests, Disney no); Disney there are no options for ap other than married men or older men playing nice with ex; and really just kids or couples settings.

And sorry but... PP, are you suggesting to take an AP on a "normal cruise" because there are more men her age available for sex? WTF? Are you kidding? You are aware that not every single AP comes to the US to find a husband or to screw as many men as she can find? Yes, AP might find it more difficult to find people in her age group (late teens, early 20s) on board because that's not really Disney's target group but making the assumptin that AP will have a bad time because she won't find anyone to sleep with it approximately as ridiculous as it gets.

Says an exA who would have loved to go to Disney (but couldn't afford it, went to Universal instead, without her HF), still has a Disney cruise on her bucket list and didn't come to the US to f*** around and get married (and thankfully didn't, I was nowhere ready for marriage at 19 or doing well enough financially to stay in the US, happy I didn't meet my husband until I was 25 and didn't get married until nearly 30).

If I was an au pair and wanted to go on the cruise and the host family wanted to pay for the cruise, I would not have minded sharing a room.

We brought our first AP with us on vacation...not a cruise but a resort. We didn’t need her to work and she agreed to share a room with one of my three kids. She got violently ill on day 2. It was awful. Of course it wasn’t her fault, but a large part of our vacation was dealing with/caring for AP. Never again. Vacation time wit my family is so precious and I realized that I am unwilling to compromise this time again.

Interesting. I lived in Paris for three years and Euro Disney was a tourist destination and school trip. I am also someone who only hosts French APs and none of them mention Disney.

Yes, I agree this post brings up the unfortunate issue of how many of us choose not to vacation with our AP in order to avoid the agency instilled rules that make it impossible to follow.

Anonymous wrote:We only interview/host French aupairs...they never mention Disney.

Funny because I see so, so many pictures of Euro Disney in French candidate profiles, and all our French APs have used vacation time to go to DW. We're probably not taking the kids and definitely not taking an AP so there on their own.

This thread covers everything I don't like about the AP program. She's supposed to be family, but you can't taker her on a 4k vacation and have her say thank you by watching your kids for one night, and she can't share a room because it will cramp her hook-up style. We take MIL out to dinner to thank her for all she does to support our family all the time. It's not like family members don't extend kind gestures towards each other.

Anonymous wrote:We only interview/host French aupairs...they never mention Disney.

Op - we’ve only had French au pairs too. None are obsessed with Disney nor do they mention it in interviews or anything like that, but all of them have been excited to go to Disney as is this one to go on a cruise. They’re still young and Disney is fun for them.

We only interview/host French aupairs...they never mention Disney.

I couldn’t agree more. And after tragic Turpin news this week, I am even more weirded out by it.

I’ve had a few Disney freak candidates but decided against them. Adults obsessed with Disney are strange....

My last AP was a Disney fanatic.

Great, send her with the OP

My last AP was a Disney fanatic.

I am several years and aupairs into this program...and I have interviewed at least 50...I have never heard even one aupair tell me that Disney was on her bucket list. Yes, Disney may be "American", but not the dream of the 19-25 year olds. For many, HF will indeed only give 2 weeks of vacation...roller coasters and photos with Mickey Mouse aren't exactly where most aupairs want to spend those 2 weeks.

Anonymous wrote:Big difference between loving Disney and stating it is 90% of their American dream. These are adults.

The trolls on here would beg to differ...