Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I make dinner for the kids she eats it too and there's not enough for 3. Or I'll make myself lunch and come back and she's eating some of it. Am I expected to cook for her? If so, can I ask her to do some of the cooking for the family too. If I'm not required, how can I politely lay this out?

You are required to provide room and board. Does that mean you have to actively cook her 21 meals a week? No. However, asking her to prepare dinner for herself each night sounds higly inefficient.

a) You could ask HER to make dinner for the kids and herself - on the clock.
b) You could make dinner for the kids and simply make enough to feed her as well (or all four of you).
c) If you make salad for yourself just chop up an extra two tomatoes or an extra carrot or whatever and make enough for her to share.
d) Prepare lunch/dinner together.

How welcome would you feel if you were living somewhere and they'd constantly prepare meals that didn't include you? Would you expect your teenagers to prepare all meals for themselves while you make your own? If it was your daughter living with a family half way across the globe, how would you feel if her host family ate without her or didn't cook enough for her to share at meal times? If she was your sister's daughter, staying with you to babysit, what would your sister say if you didn't include her in family meals? How would you want to be treated?

You are more than two college students sharing an apartment. You are less than family. However, there is a huge grey area between "preparing all meals for her and asking her to cook for herself."

I am a working host dad, my wife doesn't cook. I cook mostly since I come from a different country and need my food. Our aupar eats a LOT. Woth 3 people. So when I cook something specific for myself and kids. It's more than throwing a burger on stove, these are specialized dishes that can take an hour and make enough so there is some for next day lunch and dinner and my aupair will eat ALL of it leaving just leftover. I don't feel it's fair that I spend 1 hour every night to cook for 8 people. it's NOT my responsibility to cook 3 times more for au pair. It's not fair that you eat one pizza and now you have to cook 3 pizzas so your au pair can eat 2. It's OK to throw some 5 mins dish in microwave but not fair to cook hours hours. Most people commenting here have no clue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I make dinner for the kids she eats it too and there's not enough for 3. Or I'll make myself lunch and come back and she's eating some of it. Am I expected to cook for her? If so, can I ask her to do some of the cooking for the family too. If I'm not required, how can I politely lay this out?

You are required to provide room and board. Does that mean you have to actively cook her 21 meals a week? No. However, asking her to prepare dinner for herself each night sounds higly inefficient.

a) You could ask HER to make dinner for the kids and herself - on the clock.
b) You could make dinner for the kids and simply make enough to feed her as well (or all four of you).
c) If you make salad for yourself just chop up an extra two tomatoes or an extra carrot or whatever and make enough for her to share.
d) Prepare lunch/dinner together.

How welcome would you feel if you were living somewhere and they'd constantly prepare meals that didn't include you? Would you expect your teenagers to prepare all meals for themselves while you make your own? If it was your daughter living with a family half way across the globe, how would you feel if her host family ate without her or didn't cook enough for her to share at meal times? If she was your sister's daughter, staying with you to babysit, what would your sister say if you didn't include her in family meals? How would you want to be treated?

You are more than two college students sharing an apartment. You are less than family. However, there is a huge grey area between "preparing all meals for her and asking her to cook for herself."

Anonymous wrote:We are that “sad” American family lol! Young kids who eat earlier than mom and dad. And they eat Mac n cheese and chicken nuggets. After they go to bed, mom and dad eat a real meal. Often we invite the au pair to join (it’s her off time). It sometimes not, because we want our own time to reconnect and talk. Our au pair dominates the conversation and demands all attention at dinner. She’s a giant child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Au pairing is an experience, it’s not a real job. And it’s $6.25/hr but with room and board paid for. So you can’t compare it to someone making $6.25 and actually trying to live off that salary. Au pairs don’t live off their stipends; that just extra spending money in their pockets each week!

But if the family doesn't uphold the board portion of the deal, then there's an issue.

But they are. The food is in the kitchen and available. The question is whether the sandwich had to be made for the au pair of if they can make their own.

This thread has been interesting and we have a lot of things with food we want to change for our next au pair, mostly around chipping in with prep or cleaning if you eat dinner with us. Otherwise you can come down later and make your own sandwich. It also drives me crazy when AP finishes the last of something “special” - take out leftovers, last piece of cake etc, but I think I need to let go of that one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Au pairing is an experience, it’s not a real job. And it’s $6.25/hr but with room and board paid for. So you can’t compare it to someone making $6.25 and actually trying to live off that salary. Au pairs don’t live off their stipends; that just extra spending money in their pockets each week!

But if the family doesn't uphold the board portion of the deal, then there's an issue.

But they are. The food is in the kitchen and available. The question is whether the sandwich had to be made for the au pair of if they can make their own.

This thread has been interesting and we have a lot of things with food we want to change for our next au pair, mostly around chipping in with prep or cleaning if you eat dinner with us. Otherwise you can come down later and make your own sandwich. It also drives me crazy when AP finishes the last of something “special” - take out leftovers, last piece of cake etc, but I think I need to let go of that one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Au pairing is an experience, it’s not a real job. And it’s $6.25/hr but with room and board paid for. So you can’t compare it to someone making $6.25 and actually trying to live off that salary. Au pairs don’t live off their stipends; that just extra spending money in their pockets each week!

But if the family doesn't uphold the board portion of the deal, then there's an issue.

Anonymous wrote:Au pairing is an experience, it’s not a real job. And it’s $6.25/hr but with room and board paid for. So you can’t compare it to someone making $6.25 and actually trying to live off that salary. Au pairs don’t live off their stipends; that just extra spending money in their pockets each week!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok this a little ridiculous. I'll make a quick meal for my kids early and make myself something like a salad and tell the au pair to do the same. Au pairs should not expect every meal to be made for them. I think auboairs generally getvthe much better end of the stick

They are working for you for poverty wages, in return for the experience of being treated like family. How are they getting the better end of the stick when you don't hold up your end of the bargain?

poverty wages ? $250 a week and no rent, car payment, health insurance costs? Hardly living in poverty.