Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see both sides of this but everyone seems very focused on how this adds work for the nanny. However, presumably she's also currently feeding the kids dinner and cleaning up after them, and now her MB and DB want to come home and do that with the kids the two days she cooks more instead. So it sounds like this adds work in one way but reduces her workload on the other end. Also OP doesn't say how old the kids are but if it's the case that they used to need a lot of supervision in the afternoons and no longer do, either because they are old enough to come home and play together or do homework or whatever, the nanny's workload is presumably further reduced and her MB is offering her alternative ways to fill that time (because otherwise, as some have pointed out, the NF won't need her services as they are any longer). And if none of those are the case, and assuming the MB wasn't asking for additional hours (which I think everyone agrees would absolutely require additional pay), I guess I am surprised the nanny asked for more money instead of pointing out how workload wise that wasn't really feasible. The asking for more money part suggests she has time and ability to do this.

As I said, I see both sides of this and ultimately the reasonableness of the MB's request and the nanny's response depend on facts not provided here, but I think the focus on the added workload may be misplaced. Moreover, it doesn't sound like anyone behaved badly here. MB made a reasonable request (she wasn't asking the nanny to clean the bathrooms - she was asking her to do more of what she already does), nanny gave her response, MB made other arrangements. What is the problem? As kids get older by definition the nanny job changes - and by definition nanny jobs are not forever. Every family reaches a point where it no longer makes sense to pay a (full-time) nanny and will seek to either change the nanny's duties or make other arrangements. Some nannies are delighted to take on additional duties in exchange for a longer term position and others prefer to stick with kids in a certain age group and then move on and both responses are perfectly reasonable and acceptable. I guess I just don't see the problem here.

If I cook for kids, I am also feeding the kids... I don't cook dinner and let it sit for 30+ minutes to cool while the kids and I do something else.

I have yet to see any child in elementary school who didn't need supervision and/or help with homework. Sometimes they need help focusing, sometimes they need someone to quiz them, sometimes they just need to be told to do it (and have someone there to verify that it's being done). So the argument that the nanny can just have the kids do homework without supervision or help to instead cook for the parents and kids doesn't make much sense to me,

I am physically capable of juggling three tasks at once (laundry, cleaning the kitchen and cooking), and completing all three within a reasonable amount of time. Doing so involves making sure that I have no other pressing concerns, I am not distracted, and it results in exhaustion at the end of the day. Normally I focus on one task at a time (rather than spraying degreaser on the sink, pulling laundry out of the dryer, stirring the food, folding two shirts, wiping off the sink, spraying the floor with cleaner, folding a few pairs of pants, stirring the food, mopping the floor, etc). If I'm going to be more tired at the end of the day, I am going to be better compensated, and all of my employers have understood that. I don't multi-task when it would take me away from my primary duty: childcare. If the kids can help cook, I don't have an issue with doing a meal for us to start eating, and the parents to join us in eating when they get home. I am a nanny, not a babysitter, and while I am open to a variety of tasks that many nannies would not consider, I expect to be treated like a professional.

My objection is to the MB feeling that she can add or balloon tasks willy-nilly. Write a contract and stick to it. If needs change, renegotiate the contract or part ways.

How messy are you making things that the kitchen needs scrubbed. And, how much laundry do you really have if it is just for the kids. How are you going to manage being a parent, if you aren't one when you have to do all that and more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd pay a nanny $40 extra to cook for us. It would save us time and money. Our nanny can't cook at all.

Would it really? I feel like I could get pretty decent takeout for two people for $20 + grocery money.

$40/wk to cook 2 days a week is too much. Either this nanny really didn't want to do this, or she was attempting to take advantage of generous employers.

It would, for us. OP is talking about the nanny cooking from scratch. We easily spend $40 in one, 2-adult take-out order.

Funny how OP never states what the meals are. They are probably a few minute, cooked chicken breast and some steamed veggies. We don't spend $40 for take out. $15-20 max for two adults and sometimes with food for kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see both sides of this but everyone seems very focused on how this adds work for the nanny. However, presumably she's also currently feeding the kids dinner and cleaning up after them, and now her MB and DB want to come home and do that with the kids the two days she cooks more instead. So it sounds like this adds work in one way but reduces her workload on the other end. Also OP doesn't say how old the kids are but if it's the case that they used to need a lot of supervision in the afternoons and no longer do, either because they are old enough to come home and play together or do homework or whatever, the nanny's workload is presumably further reduced and her MB is offering her alternative ways to fill that time (because otherwise, as some have pointed out, the NF won't need her services as they are any longer). And if none of those are the case, and assuming the MB wasn't asking for additional hours (which I think everyone agrees would absolutely require additional pay), I guess I am surprised the nanny asked for more money instead of pointing out how workload wise that wasn't really feasible. The asking for more money part suggests she has time and ability to do this.

As I said, I see both sides of this and ultimately the reasonableness of the MB's request and the nanny's response depend on facts not provided here, but I think the focus on the added workload may be misplaced. Moreover, it doesn't sound like anyone behaved badly here. MB made a reasonable request (she wasn't asking the nanny to clean the bathrooms - she was asking her to do more of what she already does), nanny gave her response, MB made other arrangements. What is the problem? As kids get older by definition the nanny job changes - and by definition nanny jobs are not forever. Every family reaches a point where it no longer makes sense to pay a (full-time) nanny and will seek to either change the nanny's duties or make other arrangements. Some nannies are delighted to take on additional duties in exchange for a longer term position and others prefer to stick with kids in a certain age group and then move on and both responses are perfectly reasonable and acceptable. I guess I just don't see the problem here.

If I cook for kids, I am also feeding the kids... I don't cook dinner and let it sit for 30+ minutes to cool while the kids and I do something else.

I have yet to see any child in elementary school who didn't need supervision and/or help with homework. Sometimes they need help focusing, sometimes they need someone to quiz them, sometimes they just need to be told to do it (and have someone there to verify that it's being done). So the argument that the nanny can just have the kids do homework without supervision or help to instead cook for the parents and kids doesn't make much sense to me,

I am physically capable of juggling three tasks at once (laundry, cleaning the kitchen and cooking), and completing all three within a reasonable amount of time. Doing so involves making sure that I have no other pressing concerns, I am not distracted, and it results in exhaustion at the end of the day. Normally I focus on one task at a time (rather than spraying degreaser on the sink, pulling laundry out of the dryer, stirring the food, folding two shirts, wiping off the sink, spraying the floor with cleaner, folding a few pairs of pants, stirring the food, mopping the floor, etc). If I'm going to be more tired at the end of the day, I am going to be better compensated, and all of my employers have understood that. I don't multi-task when it would take me away from my primary duty: childcare. If the kids can help cook, I don't have an issue with doing a meal for us to start eating, and the parents to join us in eating when they get home. I am a nanny, not a babysitter, and while I am open to a variety of tasks that many nannies would not consider, I expect to be treated like a professional.

My objection is to the MB feeling that she can add or balloon tasks willy-nilly. Write a contract and stick to it. If needs change, renegotiate the contract or part ways.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd pay a nanny $40 extra to cook for us. It would save us time and money. Our nanny can't cook at all.

Would it really? I feel like I could get pretty decent takeout for two people for $20 + grocery money.

$40/wk to cook 2 days a week is too much. Either this nanny really didn't want to do this, or she was attempting to take advantage of generous employers.

It would, for us. OP is talking about the nanny cooking from scratch. We easily spend $40 in one, 2-adult take-out order.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd pay a nanny $40 extra to cook for us. It would save us time and money. Our nanny can't cook at all.

Would it really? I feel like I could get pretty decent takeout for two people for $20 + grocery money.

$40/wk to cook 2 days a week is too much. Either this nanny really didn't want to do this, or she was attempting to take advantage of generous employers.

Anonymous wrote:I see both sides of this but everyone seems very focused on how this adds work for the nanny. However, presumably she's also currently feeding the kids dinner and cleaning up after them, and now her MB and DB want to come home and do that with the kids the two days she cooks more instead. So it sounds like this adds work in one way but reduces her workload on the other end. Also OP doesn't say how old the kids are but if it's the case that they used to need a lot of supervision in the afternoons and no longer do, either because they are old enough to come home and play together or do homework or whatever, the nanny's workload is presumably further reduced and her MB is offering her alternative ways to fill that time (because otherwise, as some have pointed out, the NF won't need her services as they are any longer). And if none of those are the case, and assuming the MB wasn't asking for additional hours (which I think everyone agrees would absolutely require additional pay), I guess I am surprised the nanny asked for more money instead of pointing out how workload wise that wasn't really feasible. The asking for more money part suggests she has time and ability to do this.

As I said, I see both sides of this and ultimately the reasonableness of the MB's request and the nanny's response depend on facts not provided here, but I think the focus on the added workload may be misplaced. Moreover, it doesn't sound like anyone behaved badly here. MB made a reasonable request (she wasn't asking the nanny to clean the bathrooms - she was asking her to do more of what she already does), nanny gave her response, MB made other arrangements. What is the problem? As kids get older by definition the nanny job changes - and by definition nanny jobs are not forever. Every family reaches a point where it no longer makes sense to pay a (full-time) nanny and will seek to either change the nanny's duties or make other arrangements. Some nannies are delighted to take on additional duties in exchange for a longer term position and others prefer to stick with kids in a certain age group and then move on and both responses are perfectly reasonable and acceptable. I guess I just don't see the problem here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a neutral party. A mom who cooks every meal each day for my family. When I have house guests (like my relatives), my cooking time increases because I am cooking larger quantities. Thank you

I understand that the needs of the family is changing. I think asking the housekeeper to take on extra duties for extra money is the way to go. Asking the nanny to do more without the additional pay is pretty cheap and exploitative. Thank you

The fact the the MB claims that they are very flexible with the nanny only tells me that they are happy with whatever service the nanny is providing and want to keep her happy. If they are unhappy with the flexibility that they are providing, they should get another nanny. Agreed


I think the MB and FB do not have time to do things like cooking. In such a case, they should ask, if it is worth it for them to pay $40 a week, for having the free time to spend with their kids. Precisely!

Oh, I like you! I quite agree with everything you said, but then, I'm a nanny who isn't adverse to taking on extra tasks... for extra money when I have time during the day (and no penalty when there's no time) or when the contract is renegotiated.

If you are doing it during your normal work hours, you should not be paid more. If you are doing it outside of normal hours. Yes.

Anonymous wrote:Doubling a recipe is double the work. There's double prep and extra cooking time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a neutral party. A mom who cooks every meal each day for my family. When I have house guests (like my relatives), my cooking time increases because I am cooking larger quantities. Thank you

I understand that the needs of the family is changing. I think asking the housekeeper to take on extra duties for extra money is the way to go. Asking the nanny to do more without the additional pay is pretty cheap and exploitative. Thank you

The fact the the MB claims that they are very flexible with the nanny only tells me that they are happy with whatever service the nanny is providing and want to keep her happy. If they are unhappy with the flexibility that they are providing, they should get another nanny. Agreed


I think the MB and FB do not have time to do things like cooking. In such a case, they should ask, if it is worth it for them to pay $40 a week, for having the free time to spend with their kids. Precisely!

Oh, I like you! I quite agree with everything you said, but then, I'm a nanny who isn't adverse to taking on extra tasks... for extra money when I have time during the day (and no penalty when there's no time) or when the contract is renegotiated.