Anonymous
Post 06/05/2014 02:56     Subject: Completely crumbled very long vent
I am truly sorry you are dealing with all of this OP, but to be honest this is a horrible family and in the end you will be much better off without any of them, except of course the innocent child.

The adults in this situation sound just plain mean to me and the whole job sounds like a toxic situation.

I do not know your financial situation, but if you can, I would get out sooner rather than later.

I get that you love this little boy and that is what makes you the great and loving nanny that you are.

But you need to get far far away from this family.

There are wonderful families out there that will treat you with the decency and respect that you and any nanny out there deserves.

Do not sell yourself short and put up with this type of behavior another day.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2014 20:32     Subject: Re:Completely crumbled very long vent
Anonymous wrote:What some of the PPs did not notice is the fact that she did put up with a lot of crap, she did start texting to answer her boss, when boss asked her, and she did put up with extended family visits that disrupt things and many sicknesses for over a year. From an annoyance it turned to be a base for separation.


A separation that had already been agreed to. And then she started in on it again, just a couple of days into her final 4 weeks. I also would have replied asking if she just wanted to be done with the job. I'd be annoyed that what I thought was a finished conversation with a mutually-agreed upon resolution was apparently still up for discussion.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2014 20:07     Subject: Re:Completely crumbled very long vent
What some of the PPs did not notice is the fact that she did put up with a lot of crap, she did start texting to answer her boss, when boss asked her, and she did put up with extended family visits that disrupt things and many sicknesses for over a year. From an annoyance it turned to be a base for separation.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2014 19:10     Subject: Completely crumbled very long vent
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I didn't even text my employers after we had an earthquake... And guess what? They didn't text me either! Unless the child is hurt I do not ever call or text parents at work. My bosses are in high level positions and don't want to get emails from me asking if Larla can eat peas today or if Joes is allowed to go to the park or that I'm sitting on the couch pouting asking if I'm 'needed' when the grandparents are there and that they're taking over and the kid has the poops. Guess what Toots, having the grandparents in town sucks for ALL nannies. When the grandparents visit (for a month) they always insert themselves where they don't belong and if they want to take over, okay fine by me, it's their grandchild. They are family, you are the help, and once you are gone the child will move on. Instead of sitting on the couch little a delicate flower and texting your MB maybe you should have been proactive and done some nanny duties like organizing the child's toys or closets or prepare an art project that everyone could do together. This MB clearly sounds like she was annoyed with your performance and insecurity in your role as their child care provider. She doesn't sound nice, but you sound incompetent if you're texting her with dumb stuff during the day.


Don't take this person's advice. In fact, laugh and thank the heavens you don't have the added burden of being the loud mouth person no one wants to be around. See, life isn't all bad? It could be worse, you could be this girl.


I don't agree with everything this poster said, but she has some valid points. Yes, nannies love time alone with kids and when people are around, it interrupts everything. But that is life. Instead of being proactive about how to get the family on her side, she chose to be whiny about it. I had a grandmother who would change everything when she came, but once I stopped trying to fight her and enlisted her help, she became a great asset.

I do believe in communicating with the parents during the day, but not about trivial stuff. They would contact me during the day and I would contact them, only as needed.

If nannies and parents would treat each other with more respect and communicate with each other so many of these petty complaints wouldn't even be an issue.


+1

Honestly, OP, it sounds like your MB was annoyed you were texting her basically asking if you could have the day off since grandma was there. (Her behavior re: your raise was really rude and unnecessary though.)

I text my MB a few times a week, usually it's just a picture of something we are doing or if her son develops a fever/serious issues we agreed upfront I'd let them know about. If we are going for a play date somewhere new she likes me to text the name and address of the family. I would text her in an earthquake that brought down buildings though (west coast nanny here so this is likely to happen at some point).

But the trivial stuff only comes up if she texts me and asks about it. Otherwise I do my job and keep it to myself. And for context, I've had both grandmas here for over three months...so I do feel your pain on that front...but still. I never text asking if I can go home.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2014 18:50     Subject: Completely crumbled very long vent
Anonymous wrote:I didn't even text my employers after we had an earthquake... And guess what? They didn't text me either! Unless the child is hurt I do not ever call or text parents at work. My bosses are in high level positions and don't want to get emails from me asking if Larla can eat peas today or if Joes is allowed to go to the park or that I'm sitting on the couch pouting asking if I'm 'needed' when the grandparents are there and that they're taking over and the kid has the poops. Guess what Toots, having the grandparents in town sucks for ALL nannies. When the grandparents visit (for a month) they always insert themselves where they don't belong and if they want to take over, okay fine by me, it's their grandchild. They are family, you are the help, and once you are gone the child will move on. Instead of sitting on the couch little a delicate flower and texting your MB maybe you should have been proactive and done some nanny duties like organizing the child's toys or closets or prepare an art project that everyone could do together. This MB clearly sounds like she was annoyed with your performance and insecurity in your role as their child care provider. She doesn't sound nice, but you sound incompetent if you're texting her with dumb stuff during the day.


You sound like the nanny I want to have! You do your job, put up with the annoying stuff that happens from time to time, be proactive about making your work situation better, and I'll do the same at my job confident my kids are well cared for and there's no drama to come home to.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2014 17:15     Subject: Completely crumbled very long vent
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I didn't even text my employers after we had an earthquake... And guess what? They didn't text me either! Unless the child is hurt I do not ever call or text parents at work. My bosses are in high level positions and don't want to get emails from me asking if Larla can eat peas today or if Joes is allowed to go to the park or that I'm sitting on the couch pouting asking if I'm 'needed' when the grandparents are there and that they're taking over and the kid has the poops. Guess what Toots, having the grandparents in town sucks for ALL nannies. When the grandparents visit (for a month) they always insert themselves where they don't belong and if they want to take over, okay fine by me, it's their grandchild. They are family, you are the help, and once you are gone the child will move on. Instead of sitting on the couch little a delicate flower and texting your MB maybe you should have been proactive and done some nanny duties like organizing the child's toys or closets or prepare an art project that everyone could do together. This MB clearly sounds like she was annoyed with your performance and insecurity in your role as their child care provider. She doesn't sound nice, but you sound incompetent if you're texting her with dumb stuff during the day.


Don't take this person's advice. In fact, laugh and thank the heavens you don't have the added burden of being the loud mouth person no one wants to be around. See, life isn't all bad? It could be worse, you could be this girl.


I don't agree with everything this poster said, but she has some valid points. Yes, nannies love time alone with kids and when people are around, it interrupts everything. But that is life. Instead of being proactive about how to get the family on her side, she chose to be whiny about it. I had a grandmother who would change everything when she came, but once I stopped trying to fight her and enlisted her help, she became a great asset.

I do believe in communicating with the parents during the day, but not about trivial stuff. They would contact me during the day and I would contact them, only as needed.

If nannies and parents would treat each other with more respect and communicate with each other so many of these petty complaints wouldn't even be an issue.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2014 16:05     Subject: Completely crumbled very long vent
^ Yeah but that girl isn't fired. OP is.