Anonymous wrote:I've tried to post some reasonable responses as a parent on this thread and it's obvious to me that some of the nannies that are responding are just on a different wavelength. We'll just have to agree to disagree in this point.

If you want an employer that's ok with you doing homework while working, then just be open about it. I'll continue to search for (and pay for) nannies that don't insist that I'm greeting my kids like a "asset" if I simply expect them to be mostly focusing on their job duties while I'm paying them.

According to the poster above, if someone is paying someone else to do something and the employer expects the employee to be doing that something while being paid, then somehow that makes the employer resentful that they are paying the employee? That makes no sense to me at all.

You're missing the point of my post. I pick up resentment from your tone, and that's what I commented on. It's clear that you don't see it, and i'm okay with that. I grew up in a culture of nannies, and had one until the age of 7. I saw how my parents treated all the nannies. Thus, some 20 years later, when my father passed, they came by to pay their condolences, and TRUST and believe, none of that would have occurred if my mother or father were as off-putting as you come across to me. They treated them, with respect, and trusted their judgement . After all, that's the reason why they were hired. You are losing sight of the fact that keeping your child safe, loved, and cared for is the main purpose of them being in your home. if all their "tasks" are done, you would still object to them, reading the newspaper, unless it had to do with kids. You would be great in retail, or a sweatshop.

Anonymous wrote:I've tried to post some reasonable responses as a parent on this thread and it's obvious to me that some of the nannies that are responding are just on a different wavelength. We'll just have to agree to disagree in this point.

If you want an employer that's ok with you doing homework while working, then just be open about it. I'll continue to search for (and pay for) nannies that don't insist that I'm greeting my kids like a "asset" if I simply expect them to be mostly focusing on their job duties while I'm paying them.

According to the poster above, if someone is paying someone else to do something and the employer expects the employee to be doing that something while being paid, then somehow that makes the employer resentful that they are paying the employee? That makes no sense to me at all.

As a nanny I am paid to care for children.

If child-related work is done (dishes, toys, laundry) during nap time, my JOB as defined by my contract is simply to ensure the safety and well-being of the child. It is a perk that I can read or talk on the phone while simultaneously performing my duties, but make no mistake, I am still "doing my job." If the fire alarm goes off or if the child wakes suddenly, I am immediately present to intervene. If I weren't actually "working" there'd be nothing to stop me from popping over to the coffee shop across the street for a change of scenery and a latte!

I don't understand where this confusion comes from. I am not a housekeeper (though there are "nanny/housekeeper" combos you can hire if that's what you want done during nap time), so I don't do housekeeping work. That doesn't mean I'm not doing my job/working while the kids are asleep.

I've tried to post some reasonable responses as a parent on this thread and it's obvious to me that some of the nannies that are responding are just on a different wavelength. We'll just have to agree to disagree in this point.

If you want an employer that's ok with you doing homework while working, then just be open about it. I'll continue to search for (and pay for) nannies that don't insist that I'm greeting my kids like a "asset" if I simply expect them to be mostly focusing on their job duties while I'm paying them.

According to the poster above, if someone is paying someone else to do something and the employer expects the employee to be doing that something while being paid, then somehow that makes the employer resentful that they are paying the employee? That makes no sense to me at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, we've had shares and employed full time nannies. Our expectation was and is that our nannies should have an hour of downtime during her work day. The rest of the time, they should expect to be working. That's what we always told them and it seems to go over well.

Also - and this probably needs to be talked over while you discuss the contract - certain housekeeping duties are squarely a part of the standard nanny duties. Baby laundry, clean-up of play areas and the baby's room, for instance, are standard nanny duties. They aren't part of the "light housekeeping". They are what nannies ought to be doing as part of the childcare services.

What about the days where she gets less than an hour? Do you pay her extra, or is she allowed to ignore the kids for a while?? What about when they stop napping? You cannot mange every moment of down time, to think you can is ridiculous. Im sure your bosses would love to figure how to keep you off DCUM, talking on your phone, and blabbing with your coworkers. Your nannies are likely nodding to your face and doing their own thing during the day, so long as it gets done, as they very well should.

Days where she gets less than an hour are simply part of the job, just like I have days at the office where I have to be glued to my desk working at breakneck speed. On days that aren't that crazy, I am expected to take no more than an hour for my midday break. We are professionals and we are expected to fill our days with productive work.

Children nap for quite some time, you know.

SOME children nap for some time. That's my point. In a share, the amount of down time is even more unpredictable than normal because you have two children with their own idiosyncrasies. If you start piling on a bunch of tasks to fill the down time you *think* she has, on those days where naps aren't what you expect, for one child, the other, or both, she will not get a break. You may say its part of the job, but then your job suddenly sucks, and it wouldn't be too hard for her to find one that doesn't. I've never, in my ten years of nannying, had an employer try to dictate what I do during nap time. They're usually just so happy with my performance, they really could care less what goes on while their child sleeps better than they ever do for them.

I'm sure there are days when children don't sleep well, but generally speaking, young children have predictable nap times. The days they don't are exceptions, not rules. Just like you never had employers dictate what you do with nap time, I've never had nannies that objected to my expectation of their downtime vs. work time ratios. It's not hard to find nannies who agree to work with this.

No disrespect intended, but you truly sound impossible. with every word you typed, you are revealing (to me at least),to her, that you are paying her, and you appear to resent it. It comes across as passive-aggressive. I did a test run with a mum who worked from home, and I truly wanted to give it a go. I knew what the baby's schedule was, but she constantly kept leaving her room, and checking "did you do this/that?"...I left, thanked her for her time, and informed her when she contacted me, that I would not be a good fit. Too much stress for a pay cut, and a micromanager. I've also found that parents in a share who have all these expectations of the nanny FREAK out, if they are left with the 2 babies. I had to leave early because I was sick (parents brought in a sick child) and they truly could not deal with it. Only expect of a nanny, what you are capable of doing with 2 infants around.

Courious, 21:22, exactly what are the "professional wages" you say you pay, on an hourly basis?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does expecting a nanny to actually earn her pay and add value make the employer a nagging bitch? Guess what, ladies: Your employer is entitled to know how you spend your time on the job, including your time while the kids nap or amuse themselves. If you are studying on the job or otherwise not adding value during naptimes, your employers will either become quietly resentful or start fishing around for details about what you're doing with all that time, thereby making you feel micromanaged and nagged. The good nannies don't feel nagged by their employers, because they have EARNED their freedom from micromanagement by demonstrating and/or documenting their naptime productivity for the benefit of the family.

This is no different form any other job. If I finish with my core duties at work, I am expected to look for more work or find other ways to create value for my employer. If I ever told my boss that I am entitled to do homework or cruise the internet while waiting for my core workload to pick up--and that he should pay me to do that simply because I am on site and available to resume my core duties when needed--I'd probably find myself out of a job.

Fine example of a "parent" who most likely regards a child as an "asset" in a portfolio, rather than a human being. Just look at how she regards the person providing the care for the child she birthed.

You may ask how I like to spend my time during nap, but you DON'T choose how I spend that time.

I complete my commitments, and then some.

If you're smart, you say "thank you". If you're not, your days are numbered.

Thank goodness, most parents appreciate the hard work and dedication of most nannies. Likewise, most nannies appreciate the hard work that goes into being a real parent, day in and day out. Did someone say, "parenting is not for whimps"?

Um, actually I do choose how my nanny spends her time while my children nap, because I define the job that I hired her to do. We've worked together to identify tasks that I want done and she does not mind doing. If she had your attitude, she wouldn't be a good fit for my family, she wouldn't be worthy of serving as my child's teacher and role model, and she certainly wouldn't be worthy of the professional wages I pay her.

I've found that GOOD nannies do in fact appreciate the hard work that goes into being a "real parent," as you say, and that is why they are generally very willing to support the household in a multitude of ways during naptime, so the parents can spend more after work time parenting and less time running the home and managing the non-interactive aspects of childcare. I and most of the other parents I know insist on this level of performance from our nannies, precisely because we do value our children as individuals and want to maximize our quality time with them when we are not at work.

Also, the nannies who feel entitled to sit around during naptimes typically find themselves looking for jobs all the time. I know a great many parents who quietly let such nannies go after a year, either because they didn't feel they were getting enough value relative to day care or relative to the nanny's wage expectations, or because one of the parents decided to scale back at work, in part because the mediocre nanny just didn't do enough to help the family juggle two demanding jobs, kids, and a home.

Anonymous wrote:How does expecting a nanny to actually earn her pay and add value make the employer a nagging bitch? Guess what, ladies: Your employer is entitled to know how you spend your time on the job, including your time while the kids nap or amuse themselves. If you are studying on the job or otherwise not adding value during naptimes, your employers will either become quietly resentful or start fishing around for details about what you're doing with all that time, thereby making you feel micromanaged and nagged. The good nannies don't feel nagged by their employers, because they have EARNED their freedom from micromanagement by demonstrating and/or documenting their naptime productivity for the benefit of the family.

This is no different form any other job. If I finish with my core duties at work, I am expected to look for more work or find other ways to create value for my employer. If I ever told my boss that I am entitled to do homework or cruise the internet while waiting for my core workload to pick up--and that he should pay me to do that simply because I am on site and available to resume my core duties when needed--I'd probably find myself out of a job.

Fine example of a "parent" who most likely regards a child as an "asset" in a portfolio, rather than a human being. Just look at how she regards the person providing the care for the child she birthed.

You may ask how I like to spend my time during nap, but you DON'T choose how I spend that time.

I complete my commitments, and then some.
If you're smart, you say "thank you". If you're not, your days are numbered.

Thank goodness, most parents appreciate the hard work and dedication of most nannies. Likewise, most nannies appreciate the hard work that goes into being a real parent, day in and day out. Did someone say, "parenting is not for whimps"?

How does expecting a nanny to actually earn her pay and add value make the employer a nagging bitch? Guess what, ladies: Your employer is entitled to know how you spend your time on the job, including your time while the kids nap or amuse themselves. If you are studying on the job or otherwise not adding value during naptimes, your employers will either become quietly resentful or start fishing around for details about what you're doing with all that time, thereby making you feel micromanaged and nagged. The good nannies don't feel nagged by their employers, because they have EARNED their freedom from micromanagement by demonstrating and/or documenting their naptime productivity for the benefit of the family.

This is no different form any other job. If I finish with my core duties at work, I am expected to look for more work or find other ways to create value for my employer. If I ever told my boss that I am entitled to do homework or cruise the internet while waiting for my core workload to pick up--and that he should pay me to do that simply because I am on site and available to resume my core duties when needed--I'd probably find myself out of a job.

Read the bolded, PP. your assumptions are pretty obvious.

As for your additional assumption that I have posted before on this thread makes you a double fail.

You aren't talking to the the same person. Try again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
"I am offering my services at X lower rate because I am planning to spend my free time doing my homework" and they agree, then good for you. No one has an issue with that, I'm sure. No one has said on here "I agreed with my nanny that I would offer her a lower rate and she would do her homework, and now I think that's lazy." That's not the situation any of the MBs have been talking about.


I agree with this but nannies don't do that at all. They try to pretend that they are busy when they are not. They hope MB's will not realize how much downtime they have and they can just get away with doing homework or watching TV 2-4 hours a day. This is deceptive and lazy. The kicker is that these nannies then expect bonuses on top of it. Sorry, they are barely doing anything at all let alone exceeding any expectation.

The best reference question was asking what the nanny did during nap time. You need to avoid the ones who do nothing during nap time.


Making assumptions about an entire group of people makes you sound like a moron.
Of course all nannies don't do this.
Most of us are good, hardworking people who just want to EARN a living.
Believe me when I say...very few of is watch television for 2-4 hours per day.
I spend nap time folding laundry, loading/unloading the dishwasher, sweeping and making Baby food.
Not one of these things is in my contract. I do them because I respect my bosses and they respect me.
They don't micromanage me.
MB's are getting all this pushback on the downtime issue because you are coming across as nagging control-freaks.
That is the kiss of death to a nanny position.
If you don't want your nanny doing homework...tell her.
Some of you act as if you are doing us a favor by hiring us. What you don't understand is that a good nanny, with experience can find a good job very quickly. A job that doesn't involve listening to you bitch and trying to shove as much physical labor into our schedule as possible.

News flash. If you are objecting to people making assumptions about you, it's probably a terrible idea to do the same to others.

How did I make assumptions about MB's? Most (if not all) of the MB's who have commented on this thread come across as nagging control freaks. I didn't clump ALL MBs into this category as you did with nannies. Nice try.

Anonymous wrote:
"I am offering my services at X lower rate because I am planning to spend my free time doing my homework" and they agree, then good for you. No one has an issue with that, I'm sure. No one has said on here "I agreed with my nanny that I would offer her a lower rate and she would do her homework, and now I think that's lazy." That's not the situation any of the MBs have been talking about.


I agree with this but nannies don't do that at all. They try to pretend that they are busy when they are not. They hope MB's will not realize how much downtime they have and they can just get away with doing homework or watching TV 2-4 hours a day. This is deceptive and lazy. The kicker is that these nannies then expect bonuses on top of it. Sorry, they are barely doing anything at all let alone exceeding any expectation.

The best reference question was asking what the nanny did during nap time. You need to avoid the ones who do nothing during nap time.


Making assumptions about an entire group of people makes you sound like a moron.
Of course all nannies don't do this.
Most of us are good, hardworking people who just want to EARN a living.
Believe me when I say...very few of is watch television for 2-4 hours per day.
I spend nap time folding laundry, loading/unloading the dishwasher, sweeping and making Baby food.
Not one of these things is in my contract. I do them because I respect my bosses and they respect me.
They don't micromanage me.
MB's are getting all this pushback on the downtime issue because you are coming across as nagging control-freaks.
That is the kiss of death to a nanny position.
If you don't want your nanny doing homework...tell her.
Some of you act as if you are doing us a favor by hiring us. What you don't understand is that a good nanny, with experience can find a good job very quickly. A job that doesn't involve listening to you bitch and trying to shove as much physical labor into our schedule as possible.

News flash. If you are objecting to people making assumptions about you, it's probably a terrible idea to do the same to others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

"I am offering my services at X lower rate because I am planning to spend my free time doing my homework" and they agree, then good for you. No one has an issue with that, I'm sure. No one has said on here "I agreed with my nanny that I would offer her a lower rate and she would do her homework, and now I think that's lazy." That's not the situation any of the MBs have been talking about.

I agree with this but nannies don't do that at all. They try to pretend that they are busy when they are not. They hope MB's will not realize how much downtime they have and they can just get away with doing homework or watching TV 2-4 hours a day. This is deceptive and lazy. The kicker is that these nannies then expect bonuses on top of it. Sorry, they are barely doing anything at all let alone exceeding any expectation.

The best reference question was asking what the nanny did during nap time. You need to avoid the ones who do nothing during nap time.

Making assumptions about an entire group of people makes you sound like a moron.
Of course all nannies don't do this.
Most of us are good, hardworking people who just want to EARN a living.
Believe me when I say...very few of is watch television for 2-4 hours per day.
I spend nap time folding laundry, loading/unloading the dishwasher, sweeping and making Baby food.
Not one of these things is in my contract. I do them because I respect my bosses and they respect me.
They don't micromanage me.
MB's are getting all this pushback on the downtime issue because you are coming across as nagging control-freaks.
That is the kiss of death to a nanny position.
If you don't want your nanny doing homework...tell her.
Some of you act as if you are doing us a favor by hiring us. What you don't understand is that a good nanny, with experience can find a good job very quickly. A job that doesn't involve listening to you bitch and trying to shove as much physical labor into our schedule as possible.

A shitty nanny can find a job too.
You people keep having kids.

Anonymous wrote:

"I am offering my services at X lower rate because I am planning to spend my free time doing my homework" and they agree, then good for you. No one has an issue with that, I'm sure. No one has said on here "I agreed with my nanny that I would offer her a lower rate and she would do her homework, and now I think that's lazy." That's not the situation any of the MBs have been talking about.

I agree with this but nannies don't do that at all. They try to pretend that they are busy when they are not. They hope MB's will not realize how much downtime they have and they can just get away with doing homework or watching TV 2-4 hours a day. This is deceptive and lazy. The kicker is that these nannies then expect bonuses on top of it. Sorry, they are barely doing anything at all let alone exceeding any expectation.

The best reference question was asking what the nanny did during nap time. You need to avoid the ones who do nothing during nap time.

Making assumptions about an entire group of people makes you sound like a moron.
Of course all nannies don't do this.
Most of us are good, hardworking people who just want to EARN a living.
Believe me when I say...very few of is watch television for 2-4 hours per day.
I spend nap time folding laundry, loading/unloading the dishwasher, sweeping and making Baby food.
Not one of these things is in my contract. I do them because I respect my bosses and they respect me.
They don't micromanage me.
MB's are getting all this pushback on the downtime issue because you are coming across as nagging control-freaks.
That is the kiss of death to a nanny position.
If you don't want your nanny doing homework...tell her.
Some of you act as if you are doing us a favor by hiring us. What you don't understand is that a good nanny, with experience can find a good job very quickly. A job that doesn't involve listening to you bitch and trying to shove as much physical labor into our schedule as possible.

"I am offering my services at X lower rate because I am planning to spend my free time doing my homework" and they agree, then good for you. No one has an issue with that, I'm sure. No one has said on here "I agreed with my nanny that I would offer her a lower rate and she would do her homework, and now I think that's lazy." That's not the situation any of the MBs have been talking about.

I agree with this but nannies don't do that at all. They try to pretend that they are busy when they are not. They hope MB's will not realize how much downtime they have and they can just get away with doing homework or watching TV 2-4 hours a day. This is deceptive and lazy. The kicker is that these nannies then expect bonuses on top of it. Sorry, they are barely doing anything at all let alone exceeding any expectation.

The best reference question was asking what the nanny did during nap time. You need to avoid the ones who do nothing during nap time.

Anonymous wrote:
You're completely entitled to that opinion, and no one is saying you aren't. I am also entitled to lower my rate from that of a professional nanny and to seek out families that will be SUPPORTIVE of my academic endeavors. They aren't hard to find, but I'm not surprised to see its a rare quality of a DCUM MB. You all are notoriously awful, just like the nannies you hate on. None of my employers have ever expressed being butt hurt that I don't do a whole bunch of extra BS (not in my contract) during nap simply because the time exists. I do my homework, and I do my job. That's all that matters to them.

Hey come on now. I think the difference is that the MBs are arguing theoretical black and white and the nannies are arguing actual situations. We're talking about different things. I agree that if you say to a perspective employer - "I am offering my services at X lower rate because I am planning to spend my free time doing my homework" and they agree, then good for you. No one has an issue with that, I'm sure. No one has said on here "I agreed with my nanny that I would offer her a lower rate and she would do her homework, and now I think that's lazy." That's not the situation any of the MBs have been talking about.

And we all also only have our own perspectives in mind. So when I read that your employers never expressed any..."butt hurt"...my first reaction is - did they know you were spending so much time doing homework? Was that part of the agreement? Did they care and just never say anything? My reaction is that way because I would personally never hire a nanny with the agreement that she could do two hours of homework during the day. If I found out that she was routinely spending two hours a day on homework, and she wasn't otherwise amazing, I most certainly wouldn't be happy. I can see many a situation where an MB is seeing something she wouldn’t prefer is happening, but just lets it go. Again, YMMV based on your particular situation.

If I personally had a nanny candidate ask me at an interview if I would mind that she did homework during her downtime, I would definitely want to explore that line of thinking more. What would happen if she had homework to do and my kid didn't nap? Was she going to be worrying about her homework and not be able to be engaged with the kids? Is she going to be mature enough to know that the job I'm paying her for comes first? Etc. It's not that I necessarily have an issue with the way my nanny would be spending her downtime, it just raises red flags about how committed she would be to the job. And let's face it - MBs want to at least feel like they are paying someone for whom their kid is the #1 priority during work time.

In black and white world, I would want a nanny that would have a little break, sure, but otherwise be spending time finding ways to add value. I'm not saying clean the whole house, but if my nanny has two hours of nap time every day, I'd want her to be amazing - engaged with the kids, messes she's made cleaned up, activities planned for the next day, etc. If I had a nanny with a two-hour naptime and she was tired at the end of the day, toys everywhere, and she didn’t seem to be planning ahead at all – because she was spending that two hours doing homework – that wouldn’t work for me.