Anonymous
09/25/2013 10:41
Subject: Host family leaving for a vacation without the Au Pair
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You're not saying why criminal background checks are optional, PP.
And you haven't said why you think they're so important. I don't really get what significant increase in safety they would add. Please explain why basic background checks are your be-all-end-all on this issue. If only there were background checks, all au pairs would be safe? I just don't think so. It does seem like agencies are starting to add them, incidentally.
So here are the things host parents go through before they can be matched:
1. The LCC visits the house and personally interviews every family member that lives there
2. The LCC checks out the au pair room
3. The agency calls and talks with a professional and personal reference for the family
4. The host family pays $8,000 to sign up with the program
5. The host family gets tons of material and a guidebook about the program and it's limits
6. The LCC visits the host family again two weeks after the au pair arrives to check in
7. The LCC has at least monthly contact with the host family to verify that they are staying within the legal requirements
I'm not saying that's not going to catch everything, but really, what could you do to literally catch everything? You can't. It's a risk both sides take on as part of the program. And fortunately, there is the rematch process if it goes wrong.
Do you care if your AP has a criminal record?
Of course, but frankly, I imagine there are so few APs with a criminal record that if I had to list all of the ways in which she'd been checked out, that would be the lowest on my concerns list. Listen, I'm not arguing against them. I and many other host parents have said that we would be more than happy to submit to them. Find me a host parent in a thread who said she would refuse. But you railing on here about criminal records just de-rails every thread. If you're so concerned about it, talk to the agencies. Posting on here is useless. And please recognize that there is not an "absence" of security like you keep stating or that there is a huge rash of au pairs being abused and victimized. There is tons of due diligence done in these programs.
If you really thought posting about this was useless, you wouldn't waste your time arguing against it, and you know it.
I'm not arguing against background checks even a little bit. I've said I'd be fine with them, I've said that one was done on me through my agency, and I've said that it seems like agencies are planning to institute them. What I am arguing against is your assertion that au pairs have no protection and that there is an "absence" of host family screening, which is patently false.
Anonymous
09/25/2013 10:34
Subject: Host family leaving for a vacation without the Au Pair
OP, you sound too immature for this experience. That's fine. Go home to, where was it again? Oh yeah, Europe. Go home to Europe and find yourself a job and grow up a little before trying the AP program again.
Anonymous
09/25/2013 10:25
Subject: Re:Host family leaving for a vacation without the Au Pair
As a HF, I agree that families should have to undergo background checks.
BUT that is not going to address any of the issues addressed here or in other threads.
No one has every shown an example of an AP who had a problem with a HF that would have failed the background check.
Even the story this year about the APs who were pimped out involved APs who had left the program and had gone underground. The pimp was not a HD.
BUT that is not going to address any of the issues addressed here or in other threads.
No one has every shown an example of an AP who had a problem with a HF that would have failed the background check.
Even the story this year about the APs who were pimped out involved APs who had left the program and had gone underground. The pimp was not a HD.
Anonymous
09/25/2013 10:24
Subject: Host family leaving for a vacation without the Au Pair
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You're not saying why criminal background checks are optional, PP.
And you haven't said why you think they're so important. I don't really get what significant increase in safety they would add. Please explain why basic background checks are your be-all-end-all on this issue. If only there were background checks, all au pairs would be safe? I just don't think so. It does seem like agencies are starting to add them, incidentally.
So here are the things host parents go through before they can be matched:
1. The LCC visits the house and personally interviews every family member that lives there
2. The LCC checks out the au pair room
3. The agency calls and talks with a professional and personal reference for the family
4. The host family pays $8,000 to sign up with the program
5. The host family gets tons of material and a guidebook about the program and it's limits
6. The LCC visits the host family again two weeks after the au pair arrives to check in
7. The LCC has at least monthly contact with the host family to verify that they are staying within the legal requirements
I'm not saying that's not going to catch everything, but really, what could you do to literally catch everything? You can't. It's a risk both sides take on as part of the program. And fortunately, there is the rematch process if it goes wrong.
Do you care if your AP has a criminal record?
Of course, but frankly, I imagine there are so few APs with a criminal record that if I had to list all of the ways in which she'd been checked out, that would be the lowest on my concerns list. Listen, I'm not arguing against them. I and many other host parents have said that we would be more than happy to submit to them. Find me a host parent in a thread who said she would refuse. But you railing on here about criminal records just de-rails every thread. If you're so concerned about it, talk to the agencies. Posting on here is useless. And please recognize that there is not an "absence" of security like you keep stating or that there is a huge rash of au pairs being abused and victimized. There is tons of due diligence done in these programs.
If you really thought posting about this was useless, you wouldn't waste your time arguing against it, and you know it.
Anonymous
09/25/2013 10:11
Subject: Host family leaving for a vacation without the Au Pair
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You're not saying why criminal background checks are optional, PP.
And you haven't said why you think they're so important. I don't really get what significant increase in safety they would add. Please explain why basic background checks are your be-all-end-all on this issue. If only there were background checks, all au pairs would be safe? I just don't think so. It does seem like agencies are starting to add them, incidentally.
So here are the things host parents go through before they can be matched:
1. The LCC visits the house and personally interviews every family member that lives there
2. The LCC checks out the au pair room
3. The agency calls and talks with a professional and personal reference for the family
4. The host family pays $8,000 to sign up with the program
5. The host family gets tons of material and a guidebook about the program and it's limits
6. The LCC visits the host family again two weeks after the au pair arrives to check in
7. The LCC has at least monthly contact with the host family to verify that they are staying within the legal requirements
I'm not saying that's not going to catch everything, but really, what could you do to literally catch everything? You can't. It's a risk both sides take on as part of the program. And fortunately, there is the rematch process if it goes wrong.
Do you care if your AP has a criminal record?
Of course, but frankly, I imagine there are so few APs with a criminal record that if I had to list all of the ways in which she'd been checked out, that would be the lowest on my concerns list. Listen, I'm not arguing against them. I and many other host parents have said that we would be more than happy to submit to them. Find me a host parent in a thread who said she would refuse. But you railing on here about criminal records just de-rails every thread. If you're so concerned about it, talk to the agencies. Posting on here is useless. And please recognize that there is not an "absence" of security like you keep stating or that there is a huge rash of au pairs being abused and victimized. There is tons of due diligence done in these programs.
Anonymous
09/25/2013 10:05
Subject: Host family leaving for a vacation without the Au Pair
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You're not saying why criminal background checks are optional, PP.
And you haven't said why you think they're so important. I don't really get what significant increase in safety they would add. Please explain why basic background checks are your be-all-end-all on this issue. If only there were background checks, all au pairs would be safe? I just don't think so. It does seem like agencies are starting to add them, incidentally.
So here are the things host parents go through before they can be matched:
1. The LCC visits the house and personally interviews every family member that lives there
2. The LCC checks out the au pair room
3. The agency calls and talks with a professional and personal reference for the family
4. The host family pays $8,000 to sign up with the program
5. The host family gets tons of material and a guidebook about the program and it's limits
6. The LCC visits the host family again two weeks after the au pair arrives to check in
7. The LCC has at least monthly contact with the host family to verify that they are staying within the legal requirements
I'm not saying that's not going to catch everything, but really, what could you do to literally catch everything? You can't. It's a risk both sides take on as part of the program. And fortunately, there is the rematch process if it goes wrong.
Do you care if your AP has a criminal record?
Anonymous
09/25/2013 09:52
Subject: Host family leaving for a vacation without the Au Pair
Anonymous wrote:You're not saying why criminal background checks are optional, PP.
And you haven't said why you think they're so important. I don't really get what significant increase in safety they would add. Please explain why basic background checks are your be-all-end-all on this issue. If only there were background checks, all au pairs would be safe? I just don't think so. It does seem like agencies are starting to add them, incidentally.
So here are the things host parents go through before they can be matched:
1. The LCC visits the house and personally interviews every family member that lives there
2. The LCC checks out the au pair room
3. The agency calls and talks with a professional and personal reference for the family
4. The host family pays $8,000 to sign up with the program
5. The host family gets tons of material and a guidebook about the program and it's limits
6. The LCC visits the host family again two weeks after the au pair arrives to check in
7. The LCC has at least monthly contact with the host family to verify that they are staying within the legal requirements
I'm not saying that's not going to catch everything, but really, what could you do to literally catch everything? You can't. It's a risk both sides take on as part of the program. And fortunately, there is the rematch process if it goes wrong.
Anonymous
09/25/2013 09:46
Subject: Host family leaving for a vacation without the Au Pair
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just something to think about: when you are interviewed by your next family options they will likely ask what went wrong with your first match and what efforts you took to proactively address them before you decided to rematch. Since you have only been with your family a few weeks you might have a difficult time adequately addressing this point. This is the type of immature drama I was referencing above. Your first conversation with your lcc was not about how to address the childcare issued but about rematching.
You just don't sound like the self starting, mature, communicative, independent type that it takes to be successful in this program.
Try living abroad in someone's house where you don't feel comfortable, have a kid kick you whenever he can and calling you names, with nowhere else to go but Borders late at night and we'll see how you manage!
I'm only 21 ! It's easy to react the way you do if you are a mom and are used to the au pair world.
I'm trying hard but at some point I loose my motivation.
I wasn't saying some of your concerns aren't valid. I'm saying your responsive actions (rematching without working within the program structure) don't demonstrate qualities that will allow you to succeed.
Anonymous
09/25/2013 09:45
Subject: Host family leaving for a vacation without the Au Pair
You're not saying why criminal background checks are optional, PP.
Anonymous
09/25/2013 09:41
Subject: Host family leaving for a vacation without the Au Pair
Here is the regulation if you'd like to read over it yourself:
http://www.agentaupair.com/static/cms_page_media/1/22%20CFR%206231.pdf
http://www.agentaupair.com/static/cms_page_media/1/22%20CFR%206231.pdf
Anonymous
09/25/2013 09:40
Subject: Host family leaving for a vacation without the Au Pair
Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't the Dept. of State require EVERY host parent to be checked out?
They definitely have protections written into the regulation concerning oversight by the LCC and the agency:
"Require that all officers, employees, agents, and volunteers acting on their behalf are adequately trained and supervised; (5) Require that the au pair participant is placed with a host family within one hour's driving time of the home of the local organizational representative authorized to act on the sponsor's behalf in both routine and emergency matters arising from the au pair's participation in their exchange program; (6) Require that each local organizational representative maintain a record of all personal monthly contacts (or more frequently as required) with each au pair and host family for which he or she is responsible and issues or problems discussed; (7) Require that all local organizational representatives contact au pair participants and host families twice monthly for the first two months following a placement other than the initial placement for which the au pair entered the United States. (8) Require that local organizational representatives not devoting their full time and attention to their program obligations are responsible for no more than fifteen au pairs and host families; and (9) Require that each local organizational representative is provided adequate support services by a regional organizational representative."
It also does require that the au pair have phone contact with the family before matching and requires the following:
"Host family selection. Sponsors shall adequately screen all potential host families and at a minimum shall: (1) Require that the host parents are U.S. citizens or legal permanent residents; (2) Require that host parents are fluent in spoken English; (3) Require that all adult family members resident in the home have been personally interviewed by an
organizational representative; (4) Require that host parents and other adults living full-time in the household have successfully passed a background investigation including employment and personal character references; (5) Require that the host family have adequate financial resources to undertake all hosting obligations; (6) Provide a written detailed summary of the exchange program and the parameters of their and the au pair's duties, participation, and obligations; and (7) Provide the host family with the prospective au pair participant's complete application, including all references."
Also:
"Host family orientation. In addition to the requirements set forth at Sec. 514.10 sponsors shall: (1) Inform all host families of the philosophy, rules, and regulations governing the sponsor's exchange program and provide all families with a copy of the Department of State's written statement and brochure regarding the au pair program; (2) Provide all selected host families with a complete copy of Department of State-promulgated Exchange Visitor Program regulations, including the supplemental information thereto; (3) Advise all selected host families of their obligation to attend at least one family day conference to be sponsored by the au pair organization during the course of the
placement year. Host family attendance at such a gathering is a condition of program participation and failure to attend will be grounds for possible termination of their continued or future program participation; and (4) Require that the organization's local counselor responsible for the au pair placement contacts the host family and au pair within fortheight hours of the au pair's arrival and meets, in person, with the host family and au pair within two weeks of the au pair's arrival at the host family home."
I seriously don't know what else you want. If you and your daughter were so concerned about coming to the program, then you don't have to do it. There is risk in everything in life. Most au pairs come and have a great time and have at least marginally welcoming families, which is really all you need to have a fantastic year. And they're not stuck here - if they find it's not for them, they can return home. Seriously I don't get what your big issue is. Are you a host parent that didn't feel you were adequately checked out? Are you an au pair who got stuck with a bad host family? If you're the latter, what else do you think the agency could have done to screen out that family? Are you just someone bored who has no experience at all with the program? Then please recognize that you don't have any idea how it really works.
Anonymous
09/25/2013 09:32
Subject: Host family leaving for a vacation without the Au Pair
Why doesn't the Dept. of State require EVERY host parent to be checked out?
Anonymous
09/25/2013 09:23
Subject: Host family leaving for a vacation without the Au Pair
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't believe the program is all it's cracked up to be.
Says who based on what? That's not what I've heard from au pairs. So many of them sign up because their friend or sister did it and raved about it.
When was the last time you thought it was a super idea for your young single daughter to cross the ocean to work behind the closed doors of a family who never even got a basic background check? And has no State Department hotline to call in case of emergency.
This is outrageous, imo, and symptomatic of the booming slave trade. No one seems to have any data on the outcome of these arrangements. Why isn't every one of these young people being asked if they felt safe in the houses where they were sent?
If I were you, I'd be demanding basic due dilegence.
Oh lord, you're that poster. Au pairs are not "sent" anywhere and the use of the word "slave" in regard to this voluntary, regulated, paid program is absurd and offensive.
The absence of due dilegence is absurd and offensive.
There is not an "absence" of due diligence, and I'm not sure what great protections you think a "basic background check" would add.
Were you background checked?
Yes, actually, I was. Cultural Care requires them. You know what a basic background check looks for? Basically, arrest records. Do you how few host families would actually be flagged on that? I just don't get why you're so hung up on those.
Anonymous
09/25/2013 09:22
Subject: Host family leaving for a vacation without the Au Pair
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't believe the program is all it's cracked up to be.
Says who based on what? That's not what I've heard from au pairs. So many of them sign up because their friend or sister did it and raved about it.
When was the last time you thought it was a super idea for your young single daughter to cross the ocean to work behind the closed doors of a family who never even got a basic background check? And has no State Department hotline to call in case of emergency.
This is outrageous, imo, and symptomatic of the booming slave trade. No one seems to have any data on the outcome of these arrangements. Why isn't every one of these young people being asked if they felt safe in the houses where they were sent?
If I were you, I'd be demanding basic due dilegence.
Oh lord, you're that poster. Au pairs are not "sent" anywhere and the use of the word "slave" in regard to this voluntary, regulated, paid program is absurd and offensive.
The absence of due dilegence is absurd and offensive.
There is not an "absence" of due diligence, and I'm not sure what great protections you think a "basic background check" would add.
Were you background checked?
Anonymous
09/25/2013 09:21
Subject: Host family leaving for a vacation without the Au Pair
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just something to think about: when you are interviewed by your next family options they will likely ask what went wrong with your first match and what efforts you took to proactively address them before you decided to rematch. Since you have only been with your family a few weeks you might have a difficult time adequately addressing this point. This is the type of immature drama I was referencing above. Your first conversation with your lcc was not about how to address the childcare issued but about rematching.
You just don't sound like the self starting, mature, communicative, independent type that it takes to be successful in this program.
Try living abroad in someone's house where you don't feel comfortable, have a kid kick you whenever he can and calling you names, with nowhere else to go but Borders late at night and we'll see how you manage!
I'm only 21 ! It's easy to react the way you do if you are a mom and are used to the au pair world.
I'm trying hard but at some point I loose my motivation.
OP, you're very back and forth. I'm not the poster you quoted, and I have agreed repeatedly that the kid should not be kicking you and that alone would be reason enough to rematch. Why is it that you only have Borders to go to? I think some of the posters are just trying to show you that a lot of this is on you to make the best of it. Yes, you're only 21, but this program is not going to be great for every single 21yo. I personally would have been miserable at 21 - unable to get out there and meet people and make the best of it. I think what the poster was trying to say is that in order to be successful and have a great year, you need to be independent and self-starting. You can't be in a place in your life where you're willing to sit back for a month and complain that the host family isn't doing enough. They may not be and I do think they don't sound like a great family, but even when you find a great family, you are still going to need to put in a lot of effort on your own to be happy.