Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$4 is way too much for an additional child. The nannies on this board just smell a naive mom and want to exploit her.

You're just jealous of OP.

No, I'm jealous of the second family. They are getting pretty much a personal nanny and they got their share partner to pay for most of the difference. Way to go.

Good for you to admit you're jealous. You really should make an effort to learn some valuable parenting skills from OP. Sometimes your child's stability and security is well worth an extra 50 cents an hour. Down the road you may find yourself wishing you had made a similar wise choice.

I'm not jealous of their parenting choices. I'm jealous of their ability to find people to underwrite the cost of their childcare.

You haven't answered a real question: why should OP pay more than the other family?

Answer to your dumb question:
OP gets to maintain stable and secure care for her own child.
Are you even "educated"?

But wouldn't the other family want the same thing? Why do they get to pay less for the "stable and secure care" than OP? Why should OP pay a higher rate than the other family?

You are resorting to name-calling; clearly, you're out of actual answers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$4 is way too much for an additional child. The nannies on this board just smell a naive mom and want to exploit her.

You're just jealous of OP.

No, I'm jealous of the second family. They are getting pretty much a personal nanny and they got their share partner to pay for most of the difference. Way to go.

Good for you to admit you're jealous. You really should make an effort to learn some valuable parenting skills from OP. Sometimes your child's stability and security is well worth an extra 50 cents an hour. Down the road you may find yourself wishing you had made a similar wise choice.

I'm not jealous of their parenting choices. I'm jealous of their ability to find people to underwrite the cost of their childcare.

You haven't answered a real question: why should OP pay more than the other family?

Answer to your dumb question:
OP gets to maintain stable and secure care for her own child.
Are you even "educated"?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$4 is way too much for an additional child. The nannies on this board just smell a naive mom and want to exploit her.

You're just jealous of OP.

No, I'm jealous of the second family. They are getting pretty much a personal nanny and they got their share partner to pay for most of the difference. Way to go.

Good for you to admit you're jealous. You really should make an effort to learn some valuable parenting skills from OP. Sometimes your child's stability and security is well worth an extra 50 cents an hour. Down the road you may find yourself wishing you had made a similar wise choice.

I'm not jealous of their parenting choices. I'm jealous of their ability to find people to underwrite the cost of their childcare.

You haven't answered a real question: why should OP pay more than the other family?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$4 is way too much for an additional child. The nannies on this board just smell a naive mom and want to exploit her.

You're just jealous of OP.

No, I'm jealous of the second family. They are getting pretty much a personal nanny and they got their share partner to pay for most of the difference. Way to go.

Good for you to admit you're jealous. You really should make an effort to learn some valuable parenting skills from OP. Sometimes your child's stability and security is well worth an extra 50 cents an hour. Down the road you may find yourself wishing you had made a similar wise choice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$4 is way too much for an additional child. The nannies on this board just smell a naive mom and want to exploit her.

You're just jealous of OP.

No, I'm jealous of the second family. They are getting pretty much a personal nanny and they got their share partner to pay for most of the difference. Way to go.

If $4 is too much then how do you suppose they split the cost? It isn't right for the family with two kids to pay 11 & they pay 8.50.

This is a hard decision. I know from personal experience it is extremely hard to find a toddler share. So many people are having kids close together in age. I looked for 5 months for a toddler nany share before I gave up and got my child in a daycare. Unfortunately in my situation, I missed the deadline for preschool and it is so competitive in Arlington. I really feel for OP here and think. She made an okay delicious based on what is good for her child. She would be paying double for her own nanny!!!

i think you worked it out well, OP, considering that you wanted to give such a large increase to the nanny for the 3rd child. 40% of the rate is fair.

"Stop taking the word "primary" so personally. It doesn't mean most important or permanent. It simply means the person providing the majority of care for the child. Some babies go to bed at 7 and wake at 7 the next morning. If nanny works from 6-6 or 7-6, she is the one who spends the most waking hours with the child, and provides most of the care. It is not a comment on how important the parent is, so chill out. "
agree. Also, depending on the time splits, there may be mutiple "primary caregivers" if multiple adults are w/ the child for roughly equal waking hours. - MB

Anonymous wrote:$4 is way too much for an additional child. The nannies on this board just smell a naive mom and want to exploit her.

You're just jealous of OP.

$4 is way too much for an additional child. The nannies on this board just smell a naive mom and want to exploit her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Win/win? BS the OP is really getting screwed by both the nanny and the other family.

A $4+ raise for an additional child is very excessive. It also doesn't make sense that you are paying more than a third and your child is in part time preschool. You would already have been being taken advantage of paying a full third ($7) when your child is in preschool while the other families' kids are not. It make no sense that you are paying $8.50. Depending on how many hours this is easily 3K-4K a year more than you should be paying after taxes even if you raised your nanny to $21 (which is too much).

I can understand not wanting to deal with the hassle of a change but this situation is heavily weighted against you. Do not let the nannies try to convince you that keeping the same nanny is so important that you should pay anything. Kids can make one nanny switch without batting an eye.

Wow. You are so sad. And selfish. Sad, sad, sad.

Why do you think OP should pay more than 1/3 of the nanny's cost, and a full $2/hr more than the other family? Explain.

Anonymous wrote:Win/win? BS the OP is really getting screwed by both the nanny and the other family.

A $4+ raise for an additional child is very excessive. It also doesn't make sense that you are paying more than a third and your child is in part time preschool. You would already have been being taken advantage of paying a full third ($7) when your child is in preschool while the other families' kids are not. It make no sense that you are paying $8.50. Depending on how many hours this is easily 3K-4K a year more than you should be paying after taxes even if you raised your nanny to $21 (which is too much).

I can understand not wanting to deal with the hassle of a change but this situation is heavily weighted against you. Do not let the nannies try to convince you that keeping the same nanny is so important that you should pay anything. Kids can make one nanny switch without batting an eye.

Well, I didn't want to pile on at all, I know OP is in a tough spot, but I really think that the other family is taking advantage of her. I have nothing against the nanny here, her workload IS going up, with full-time newborn care, and she SHOULD be getting a good raise and a nice high rate to account for the increase in duties. I can also understand wanting to preserve stability. But on the face of this situation, the other family is taking advantage of OP's desire for stability and for compensating the nanny fairly, because in effect, they are saying, we'll make most of the nanny's services but pay less than you. OK, you want stability and a happy nanny - then YOU make it happen. We'll just ride on you. Now that I see the other toddler isn't in preschool, that means that the other family is getting full-time nanny care for both children (therefore making the most of the nanny) while OP's child is out, because OP has a good heart to underwrite this service for them. Perhaps OP made her desire for stability too open to the other family, and they decided to play financial hardball.

Again, this is not a dig against the nanny - her workload is going up, she should get much more money. I just think the other family took advantage of OP.

Anonymous wrote:Win/win? BS the OP is really getting screwed by both the nanny and the other family.

A $4+ raise for an additional child is very excessive. It also doesn't make sense that you are paying more than a third and your child is in part time preschool. You would already have been being taken advantage of paying a full third ($7) when your child is in preschool while the other families' kids are not. It make no sense that you are paying $8.50. Depending on how many hours this is easily 3K-4K a year more than you should be paying after taxes even if you raised your nanny to $21 (which is too much).

I can understand not wanting to deal with the hassle of a change but this situation is heavily weighted against you. Do not let the nannies try to convince you that keeping the same nanny is so important that you should pay anything. Kids can make one nanny switch without batting an eye.

Wow. You are so sad. And selfish. Sad, sad, sad.

Win/win? BS the OP is really getting screwed by both the nanny and the other family.

A $4+ raise for an additional child is very excessive. It also doesn't make sense that you are paying more than a third and your child is in part time preschool. You would already have been being taken advantage of paying a full third ($7) when your child is in preschool while the other families' kids are not. It make no sense that you are paying $8.50. Depending on how many hours this is easily 3K-4K a year more than you should be paying after taxes even if you raised your nanny to $21 (which is too much).

I can understand not wanting to deal with the hassle of a change but this situation is heavily weighted against you. Do not let the nannies try to convince you that keeping the same nanny is so important that you should pay anything. Kids can make one nanny switch without batting an eye.

Anonymous wrote:Update

Thanks for your suggestions. Some of you did help with our decision. The other family did not want to pay more than $4 additional. I am not going to argue over .50 /hr. And, I do want to keep our nanny at least at 21.50. So we are paying 8.50 and they are paying 13.

Thank you for the update, OP. It's a win-win-win for all. The stability for the children is really the most important thing.
Congratulations. We love moms like you.

Anonymous wrote:Update

Thanks for your suggestions. Some of you did help with our decision. The other family did not want to pay more than $4 additional. I am not going to argue over .50 /hr. And, I do want to keep our nanny at least at 21.50. So we are paying 8.50 and they are paying 13.

I'm glad you were able to sort it out. Take it for what it's worth...but I think the other family is getting a good deal at your expense. Their baby is going to benefit from this arrangement most of all, as he/she will have a personal nanny for most of the day (while older kids are at preschool) for very little money. And you're paying $2/hr more than they do.