Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I am years late to respond but I am having this exact issue with our current AP who eats disproportionate amounts of ALL food - junk food, healthy food, and soda.

She also eats specialty items - like finishing my daugthers' leftover birthday cake before my daughter could enjoy it!!

What this all means is that the AP has no boundaries and doesn't care about the other members of the household. And for all of you who say, wait until you have teenagers. I have two! And yes, they eat a lot but they also have manners and will ask others if they can finish something off at dinner or something in the fridge (particularly something someone else prepared), they know what a typical portion size is from the snacks and food, AND they would never dream of eating someone else's birthday cake without asking.

This is my 6th AP, and none of the others had this issue. We had two that loved their junk food but they knew that what they wanted was too much and supplemented by buying their own (and I NEVER asked them to do that).

Again, it's just downright rude, greedy, and bad manners.

And I did speak w/my AP in the beginning - can't be solved. She doesn't see it. I almost rematched but we are down to 2 months and I'm just counting the days....

Sounds like to need to cook/buy more food.

Some folks here, disgruntled APs I'm guessing, think every problem is the HP fault, never the APs. Note to all: sometimes APs are not perfect. They would not be allowed to eat their brother's leftover cake at home, they shouldn't do it here. And, my APs have always asked before eating anything questionable. Because that's the right thing to do.

PP here, to whom you are responding. I am a HM and I do not believe that every problem is the HP's fault. But when I hear HPs complain that APs eat too much, I cannot help but think that HPs are not cooking enough. I don't eat much. DH eats more, but also not a lot. But I do remember being young, when I could eat a pizza and chase it down with a coke. And then have some sweets for dessert. If your AP eats more than you or more than your husband, or your 15yo son, it's ok.

Now, finishing your daughter's birthday cake is not ok. But you tolerated it for 10 months. So, what's the point complaining now?

Your AP eats a lot. It’s the price for having your particular AP and feeding them as part of the program.

The birthday cake is just rude. You should tell her you and your daughter are upset and angry about it. Be direct. Tell her this is selfish or whatever terms are necessary to make her understand.

Ultimately, this kind of rudeness all year long would result in a small end of the year gift rather than a big deal of farewell dinner/bonus/sentimental present.

I dunno. I am a teacher and I am used to addressing issues quickly and directly. this would not have happened a 2nd time with my Au pair. Mine have all been Brazilian and French and they are all too concerned with their bodies to indulge, anyway


As much as i like the occasional junk food, I stopped buying it once I became a mom. I hadn't bought soda since college, anyways, and for me junk food is something I eat out (McD's french fries, for example), not something i keep at home.

My daughter gets enough exposure to junk food at school and at birthday parties. I am not having it hanging around the the house for her to develop bad habits.

What I've done sucessfully is set a budget (We usually do about $20) for junk food/specialty food for the au pair. At the same time, we have put similar foods (candy/junk food) off limits unless we're all eating it together (movie night, family desert, etc). This way, the AP gets her weekly fix of junk foods, still joins us for all family food-related stuff that she wants to, and we get a reliable supply of junk food for us as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It isn't unreasonable to expect an Au Pair to be considerate of others in the house. IMO, eating all of the treats is inconsiderate no matter who does it.

OP, explain to her that those things are for everyone, and she is expected to make sure she leaves enough for others. While the AP is there, she is expected to follow what the family does.

THIS.

Exactly.
+100

OP, is this annoying? Yes. Is it alone grounds for rematch? No. You need to be a grown up and either a) talk to your AP and tell her that it's for the enire family, or b) buy a separate, smaller proportion for her (or take out her portion) and explain that this is for her and the rest of it is for the family to share. Honestly, if you have more than one child, you're gonna deal with one sibling eating everyone else's ice cream sandwich at some point anyway........

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I am years late to respond but I am having this exact issue with our current AP who eats disproportionate amounts of ALL food - junk food, healthy food, and soda.

She also eats specialty items - like finishing my daugthers' leftover birthday cake before my daughter could enjoy it!!

What this all means is that the AP has no boundaries and doesn't care about the other members of the household. And for all of you who say, wait until you have teenagers. I have two! And yes, they eat a lot but they also have manners and will ask others if they can finish something off at dinner or something in the fridge (particularly something someone else prepared), they know what a typical portion size is from the snacks and food, AND they would never dream of eating someone else's birthday cake without asking.

This is my 6th AP, and none of the others had this issue. We had two that loved their junk food but they knew that what they wanted was too much and supplemented by buying their own (and I NEVER asked them to do that).

Again, it's just downright rude, greedy, and bad manners.

And I did speak w/my AP in the beginning - can't be solved. She doesn't see it. I almost rematched but we are down to 2 months and I'm just counting the days....

Sounds like to need to cook/buy more food.

Some folks here, disgruntled APs I'm guessing, think every problem is the HP fault, never the APs. Note to all: sometimes APs are not perfect. They would not be allowed to eat their brother's leftover cake at home, they shouldn't do it here. And, my APs have always asked before eating anything questionable. Because that's the right thing to do.

PP here, to whom you are responding. I am a HM and I do not believe that every problem is the HP's fault. But when I hear HPs complain that APs eat too much, I cannot help but think that HPs are not cooking enough. I don't eat much. DH eats more, but also not a lot. But I do remember being young, when I could eat a pizza and chase it down with a coke. And then have some sweets for dessert. If your AP eats more than you or more than your husband, or your 15yo son, it's ok.

Now, finishing your daughter's birthday cake is not ok. But you tolerated it for 10 months. So, what's the point complaining now?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I am years late to respond but I am having this exact issue with our current AP who eats disproportionate amounts of ALL food - junk food, healthy food, and soda.

She also eats specialty items - like finishing my daugthers' leftover birthday cake before my daughter could enjoy it!!

What this all means is that the AP has no boundaries and doesn't care about the other members of the household. And for all of you who say, wait until you have teenagers. I have two! And yes, they eat a lot but they also have manners and will ask others if they can finish something off at dinner or something in the fridge (particularly something someone else prepared), they know what a typical portion size is from the snacks and food, AND they would never dream of eating someone else's birthday cake without asking.

This is my 6th AP, and none of the others had this issue. We had two that loved their junk food but they knew that what they wanted was too much and supplemented by buying their own (and I NEVER asked them to do that).

Again, it's just downright rude, greedy, and bad manners.

And I did speak w/my AP in the beginning - can't be solved. She doesn't see it. I almost rematched but we are down to 2 months and I'm just counting the days....

Sounds like to need to cook/buy more food.

Some folks here, disgruntled APs I'm guessing, think every problem is the HP fault, never the APs. Note to all: sometimes APs are not perfect. They would not be allowed to eat their brother's leftover cake at home, they shouldn't do it here. And, my APs have always asked before eating anything questionable. Because that's the right thing to do.

Anonymous wrote:I know I am years late to respond but I am having this exact issue with our current AP who eats disproportionate amounts of ALL food - junk food, healthy food, and soda.

She also eats specialty items - like finishing my daugthers' leftover birthday cake before my daughter could enjoy it!!

What this all means is that the AP has no boundaries and doesn't care about the other members of the household. And for all of you who say, wait until you have teenagers. I have two! And yes, they eat a lot but they also have manners and will ask others if they can finish something off at dinner or something in the fridge (particularly something someone else prepared), they know what a typical portion size is from the snacks and food, AND they would never dream of eating someone else's birthday cake without asking.

This is my 6th AP, and none of the others had this issue. We had two that loved their junk food but they knew that what they wanted was too much and supplemented by buying their own (and I NEVER asked them to do that).

Again, it's just downright rude, greedy, and bad manners.

And I did speak w/my AP in the beginning - can't be solved. She doesn't see it. I almost rematched but we are down to 2 months and I'm just counting the days....

Sounds like to need to cook/buy more food.

I know I am years late to respond but I am having this exact issue with our current AP who eats disproportionate amounts of ALL food - junk food, healthy food, and soda.

She also eats specialty items - like finishing my daugthers' leftover birthday cake before my daughter could enjoy it!!

What this all means is that the AP has no boundaries and doesn't care about the other members of the household. And for all of you who say, wait until you have teenagers. I have two! And yes, they eat a lot but they also have manners and will ask others if they can finish something off at dinner or something in the fridge (particularly something someone else prepared), they know what a typical portion size is from the snacks and food, AND they would never dream of eating someone else's birthday cake without asking.

This is my 6th AP, and none of the others had this issue. We had two that loved their junk food but they knew that what they wanted was too much and supplemented by buying their own (and I NEVER asked them to do that).

Again, it's just downright rude, greedy, and bad manners.

And I did speak w/my AP in the beginning - can't be solved. She doesn't see it. I almost rematched but we are down to 2 months and I'm just counting the days....

You bring ap from her country and she is your slave. You are responsible for her food and if you don't provide the right food she has the right to eat anything she wants. You don't own her you b.....

I know this is an old stream, but on quick glance I didn't see anyone comment about what it was like to live with teenagers (boys or girls). I learned growing up with brothers, you eat it when it is in the house or it's not there in the morning. However, my only child husband never had that problem. If we bring it home, i expect it to be eaten. I don't buy soda. I get my weekly soda fix for $1 a can at the little league games. Now that summer is hear I am surprised as to how quickly we are going through the food. It is also possible the au pair isn't use to junk food being there. Just don't buy it, or buy it in small packages. Or let the au pair eat it and watch the weight go on. We keep teasing our au pair that we need to fatten her up so everyone knows she's been in America.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Day old doughnuts are stale and weem old doughnuts must be like cement. You begrudge her potato chips, cokes and M&Ms? She isn't eating your filet mignons every day! It is cheap junk food. Do you also want to limit her toilet tissue to one roll a week? Hide it in your bedroom closet and sneak it out and eat it in the dark but be certain the TV is loud so she doesn't hear the crunch and fizz.

You win the prize for cheapest woman on all DCUM posts.

I was thinking the same thing- this crap is pretty cheap as far as grocery items go.

I don't think it's the money that's really bothering the OP though - its that she doesn't have treats around for when she wants them because the au pair eats wary thing so quickly and that it seems to be taking advantage.

Anonymous wrote:Day old doughnuts are stale and weem old doughnuts must be like cement. You begrudge her potato chips, cokes and M&Ms? She isn't eating your filet mignons every day! It is cheap junk food. Do you also want to limit her toilet tissue to one roll a week? Hide it in your bedroom closet and sneak it out and eat it in the dark but be certain the TV is loud so she doesn't hear the crunch and fizz.

You win the prize for cheapest woman on all DCUM posts.

I was thinking the same thing- this crap is pretty cheap as far as grocery items go.

Anonymous wrote:So stop buying junk food. Bad for you anyway.

This.

Anonymous wrote:I 100% get that host families are supposed to be providing meals to their au pairs. Now note that host families don't provide every morsel of food that crosses the au pair's lips - that isn't the deal. Meals with the family, basic food items, anything else is on the AP. So really a host family would be perfectly justified in saying that junk food in the house is totally off-limits. Now of course, most host families just have a general go-ahead-and-eat-anything you want rule.

But have you ever had a friend who was frugal when she was paying for her own dinner, but then when she finds out you're covering dinner all of a sudden she's ordering appetizers, drinks, and desserts too?

It's the same type of irritation with these kinds of food issues. I bet you if the AP was having to buy this stuff herself, she would be a lot more judicious in what and how much she's eating. It crosses the line into taking advantage.

This