Anonymous wrote:haha. i was a nanny for years, and did absolutely nothing when kids napped. Nothing. Sometimes I myself took a 20 min nap. Never was required to do any laundry or food prep except to warm up what parents had cooked. The nap is your long break if you manage to get kids down, it is like your job perk. And we deserve it unless you want a burnt out nanny.

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Anonymous wrote:I'm on the fence, really, because of the posts by nannies here who seem so entitled. I have unlimited funds for childcare but what I really need is someone to make my life easier, not harder. While there's a perk of no drop-off and pick-up, someone is also in my house all day so that totally offsets that benefit.

Are there any WFH parents who have found their nannies to be worth it (assuming we are paying on the higher end of DC rates)? I'm suspecting that most WOH parents have no clue what's going on anyways so not at all interested in those opinions. I ask because I've had a few weeks off while my older toddler's school is out before summer session and it's been quite the eye-opener seeing the level of interaction and care provided by nannies. I'm not deluding myself that daycare is better but at least many of them don't allow phone usage, and there are more people around at least.

I look like my toddler's nanny, so before anyone gets upset about how I'd know who the nannies are, it's because several approached me to chat and I pretended to be a nanny.

Nanny hands down. The bolded is just false. I WFH. I have a desk setup in my bedroom. I have the kids' schedule setup so that I don't see the kids between 9am and 5pm (unless I want to). The nanny takes the kids to the park in the morning, I come down for a morning snack, and am back at my desk well before they get home. They come home and eat lunch and then all go play in my son's room (the biggest) at 1pm (per my request) and that's when I come down and eat my lunch. Then I'm back at my desk until 5. Them being there is not an issue at all. No pick up and no drop off is HUGE. Plus, I always come downstairs at 5pm to a cleaner house than I left. Nanny keeps the floors swept in the eating area, toys are put away (even if some were out in the morning). It's not like she's dusting or anything, but things are neat and tidy. I'm not washing bottles and packing lunch in the morning, she handles all that. She would even do the kids' laundry if I wanted, but I'm picky about laundry so I do it myself.

Plus you gotta factor in dramatically less illness, the fact that the nanny will come if the kids have colds, AND the fact that they can nap in their own beds on a schedule you set. The latter is actually the majority of the reason we got a nanny in the first place. My first kid WOULD NOT have slept at daycare. He is SUCH a finicky sleeper. Both my kids have fantastic sleep hygiene and take great naps, in their nice dark rooms, with their sound machines. Huge for them.

Yes, I know that at the park, the kids are playing and I'm sure the nannies are supervising, while chatting and playing on their phones. So what? The kids are safe and happy, and the nanny is WONDERFUL with the kids the rest of the day - morning, pre nap, after nap, she's engaging, interactive, on the floor playing with them. And I KNOW it because I can hear them. Some days, I keep my noise machine on so I can't, some days I keep it off, I always stop to listen when I go to the bathroom or get water, and I have literally never not heard obvious sounds of interaction/playing. I also walk very softly, and I have literally never walked into a room and seen the nanny on her phone. Never in two years. She can have her chiller time at the park. I can't be "on" with the kids for 8 straight hours either! Now, we do have an awesome nanny. But I would urge you not to draw too many conclusions based on what you see at the park.

Thank you! This is so helpful. I think as we continue interviewing we just need to set expectations that the nanny works when the kids are sick (to a reasonable degree) and limits phone use in the house. We liked our nanny when we had one but she would call off about 7 days a month expecting to be paid because our kid got a cold and apparently passed it on, never mind that we were quarantining due to early pandemic and weren’t sick ourselves. All of what you described sounds perfect and well worth the money.

Are you paying $35/hour or is that excessive?

Yes, it's absolutely reasonable to ask about the nanny's policy towards taking care of sick kids, and then put that in the contract. You should definitely discuss that in the interview. I don't remember ever discussing phone use.

We pay $25 an hour, and this is in DC. $35 sounds excessive. We got lucky, but I would think $30 would get you what you want.

We got her through word of mouth, which really feels like the best option. We answered a post on a neighborhood listserv from a mom who no longer needed her amazing nanny. Seems much, much more effective than parsing through care.com.

Additionally - I think coming from a white-collar professional world, you've got to remember that what you interview for for an office job is VERY different than for a nanny. We interviewed a variety of good candidates - none of them had a resume that didn't look awful/full of typos (including our amazing nanny). Our nanny has only a high school diploma - no fancy education, no certifications, etc. She didn't always say the "right" thing in the interview. But at the end of the day, none of that matters. She's a career nanny. She's been with several families, each for at least three years (beyond one cut short by a pandemic-induced move, that's the one we got her from), most for more like 5-7 years, she speaks absolutely glowingly about her previous charges, just lights up when she talks about them. She's still in contact with most of them (and occasionally babysits on weekends). Her references were, without exception, glowing. You're not paying her to write memos and sit in meetings. Remember that when you're interviewing.

Me again. I would also just add - make sure there's exceptions for when the kids are napping. Our nanny spends most of nap time on her phone, either talking, or otherwise engaged, and I'm fine with that! She should do whatever she wants during nap time, as long as she's got the monitor. And I certainly don't mind if she like checks a text when the kids are otherwise engaged. You don't want to be so draconian that you come off as a micromanager before there's even a problem.

I am in total agreement about micromanaging but I also want to be super up front about expectations so I don't waste anyone's time, including mine. Honestly, I didn't care what our first nanny did during her down time - our nanny used to chat on the phone with friends and family and as long as she didn't mind my walking around the kitchen briefly to grab lunch/got the 10 minutes of bottle washing done, we were all good.

That being said, that was a $25/hour nanny for one child. For $35/hour, that's a 2 kid rate with a LOT more work, and that's why we're raising the salary. My toddler will only be in school part time, and I'd expect the nanny to do all meals (and healthy meals), as well as manage both kids' toys/laundry. It's a much harder job, and there will be significantly less downtime because there's significantly more to do, although I would definitely ensure a legally mandated half hour break. I don't want to get a nanny who thinks they will have 1.5 hours to do nothing all day, because if having two little ones was that easy, I would just stay home (sort of kidding, I make too much for that unfortunately). I also expect there to be academically challenging and developmentally appropriate learning happening with the toddler.

Maybe those expectations are too high, and in that case, I'd rather not deal with managing an employee/having someone in my home. I just don't think anyone with just a high school diploma will cut it, unfortunately, though that was perfectly fine for one infant.

FWIW, I'd never ask for a resume from a candidate - just references.

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Anonymous wrote:I find your post really weird OP.

Why in the world do you pretend that your son is not your own while at the park??!
That is like one of the craziest things I have ever heard of!!!!

And it appears that your mind is already made.
Your opinion (negative) regarding Nannies is simply passive-aggressive at best.

You totally should choose daycare because it is obvious from your post that you already are very skeptical of finding a good Nanny.
You seem to have some personal opinions of the Nanny profession which would be so unfair to any Nanny.

So to answer your question…..->> choose daycare for sure!

OP here. Honestly I was hoping for mature responses from nannies/WFH parents including value-add tasks they perform and activities that a daycare would not be able to provide demonstrating that I could find someone worth the money, because I really can afford whatever.

I think after reading the responses on the nanny search board the nannies posting here are simply not those I would be happy with. As an employer offering a very high rate, I’m looking for someone trying to keep the job and impress me, not the other way around. I think it bugs nannies that I’d prefer daycare to an entitled nanny because it devalues their profession - I get that. Some of the parents posting here have been very helpful though so thank you all. On that note, I’ve gotten everything I need to make my decision, so I’m out.

And sorry, not a troll. Just a relatively experienced with childcare rich as hell working mom.

Anonymous wrote:Please do daycare! I doubt you’re paying 35$ per hour and even if you were I’d ask for 50$ Per hour as you seem like a PITA to work with, micromanaging, never satisfied and I’m sure would want to squeeze every penny even during nap time you’d want something done so nanny’s not sitting. Please do the nanny community and use daycare. Fyi don’t be a nuisance to the teachers there they will i
Not want to be bothered with your child and he/she will be last for everything