Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Au pair agencies are trash

Totally agree. Such parasites. Horrible for everyone involved. Sure, some of the au pairs have a great experience. But the young children of host families get overly attached, the au pairs are cheap labor and those agencies make those poor girls buy their own plane tickets. Which families don’t even realize, those au pairs pay the agencies too.

Have you ever hosted an au pair?

Yes, we ALL KNOW that aupairs pay for their tickets and fees. Thank god they do. Otherwise, they would have zero investment in this whole scenario. Host families pay for processing fees too. I do not understand if families have to take our a manifesto to show aupairs that yes:
we know you buy the tickets
we know you pay for the program and a recruiter
we know you take time and effort coming here

No, it doesn't entitle you to 100% everything we have as a family and to live in our home like it's a dorm room.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Au pair agencies are trash

Totally agree. Such parasites. Horrible for everyone involved. Sure, some of the au pairs have a great experience. But the young children of host families get overly attached, the au pairs are cheap labor and those agencies make those poor girls buy their own plane tickets. Which families don’t even realize, those au pairs pay the agencies too.

Have you ever hosted an au pair?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Au pair agencies are trash

Totally agree. Such parasites. Horrible for everyone involved. Sure, some of the au pairs have a great experience. But the young children of host families get overly attached, the au pairs are cheap labor and those agencies make those poor girls buy their own plane tickets. Which families don’t even realize, those au pairs pay the agencies too.

And they love making money off of au pairs and host families

Anonymous wrote:Au pair agencies are trash

Totally agree. Such parasites. Horrible for everyone involved. Sure, some of the au pairs have a great experience. But the young children of host families get overly attached, the au pairs are cheap labor and those agencies make those poor girls buy their own plane tickets. Which families don’t even realize, those au pairs pay the agencies too.

Au pair agencies are trash

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"......but also feel like she is putting her self-interest ahead of her commitment to our family."

Why is this bad? Would you put her needs over that of you or your family?

The fact that you wrote this and saw no problem with it proves to me that as nannies we owe the family we work with no loyalty of any kind. What a bunch of selfish witches, who would even try to get their nanny in legal trouble because they are bitter they can't use her anymore. Sickening!

Whoa there. The OP simply said that the au pair is not honoring her commitment. Of course the au pair - and anyone - should put their “needs” first. That’s life. But at the same time, you need to honor your commitment. The au pair made a promise to the family; she should (at least try)
not to renege on that. It’s just a matter of character and maturity. As a nanny, I’m sure you can appreciate employer families who honor their commitments to their nanny employees...

Wow. No. Then a host family could simply say we are putting our family investment first. We could stand to lose thousands of dollars in fees if the aupair up and leaves to find sponsorship. Rematch now then? Before she leaves and leaves this family in a lurch? Or hope the aupair is mature enough to honor a commitment and plan accordingly. Any employee needs a certain amount of loyalty to an employer so as a Nanny, I'm shocked you don't. Why would anyone put up with the bad days if they aren't loyal enough to know the child and family are worth it? Because money only goes so far.

With an aupair, this is a different type of relationship than straight employee/employer and there is another party in the mix who will get their money regardless of who renigs on the contract.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"......but also feel like she is putting her self-interest ahead of her commitment to our family."

Why is this bad? Would you put her needs over that of you or your family?

The fact that you wrote this and saw no problem with it proves to me that as nannies we owe the family we work with no loyalty of any kind. What a bunch of selfish witches, who would even try to get their nanny in legal trouble because they are bitter they can't use her anymore. Sickening!

Nanny here.

Frankly, I would turn in an AP who was doing extra work during their AP year, overstayed their visa or got a different visa and continued to work without being allowed. These are not small peanuts. They diminish the way that childcare workers are viewed, and they cut down on the work available to other people who are legally entitled to live here and work freely.

+1000 - The reason why there are so few Thai visas issued anymore is because their overstay rate was incredibly high in the early 2000s. It's not just one aupair overstaying, it's the quantity that will change the amount of visas that country is giving on the aupair program. If someone stays legally and changes the visa to a student one, of course, that's fair enough. I would encourage an aupair to stay legally and switch her/his visa. I wouldn't sponsor someone I couldn't support though. It's a risk otherwise.

Anonymous wrote:"......but also feel like she is putting her self-interest ahead of her commitment to our family."

Why is this bad? Would you put her needs over that of you or your family?

The fact that you wrote this and saw no problem with it proves to me that as nannies we owe the family we work with no loyalty of any kind. What a bunch of selfish witches, who would even try to get their nanny in legal trouble because they are bitter they can't use her anymore. Sickening!

Whoa there. The OP simply said that the au pair is not honoring her commitment. Of course the au pair - and anyone - should put their “needs” first. That’s life. But at the same time, you need to honor your commitment. The au pair made a promise to the family; she should (at least try)
not to renege on that. It’s just a matter of character and maturity. As a nanny, I’m sure you can appreciate employer families who honor their commitments to their nanny employees...

Anonymous wrote:"......but also feel like she is putting her self-interest ahead of her commitment to our family."

Why is this bad? Would you put her needs over that of you or your family?

The fact that you wrote this and saw no problem with it proves to me that as nannies we owe the family we work with no loyalty of any kind. What a bunch of selfish witches, who would even try to get their nanny in legal trouble because they are bitter they can't use her anymore. Sickening!

Nanny here.

Frankly, I would turn in an AP who was doing extra work during their AP year, overstayed their visa or got a different visa and continued to work without being allowed. These are not small peanuts. They diminish the way that childcare workers are viewed, and they cut down on the work available to other people who are legally entitled to live here and work freely.

"......but also feel like she is putting her self-interest ahead of her commitment to our family."

Why is this bad? Would you put her needs over that of you or your family?

The fact that you wrote this and saw no problem with it proves to me that as nannies we owe the family we work with no loyalty of any kind. What a bunch of selfish witches, who would even try to get their nanny in legal trouble because they are bitter they can't use her anymore. Sickening!

Sponsoring is not common, but many families have done it. I was sponsored long time ago after finishing my Au Pair career, but not by the family. This was when everyone insisted that I cannot stay here after the year. I could, I did and got my visa changed without leaving the country.
The visa is usually given through the school you pick. Not all schools want to do it, but UDC and American did it for 3 of the girls I know. I got mine through Strayer long, long ago. I got another student visa through an English language school, which was much cheaper but only for 6 motnhs. There's a lot of paperwork, but aside from showing your financials and where the person is going to live, immigration won't ask much more. School usually does the paper work and you just sign it. If immigration is suspicious, and I know a girl who was denied a visa, it will simply deny the student visa. (The same girl could come back as a tourist though as there is no visa requirement for tourists from her country. She chose to not return and went to Australia as an Au Pair).
I'm doing my masters now alongside of somebody who is working as a 2nd year year Au Pair (maybe 3rd year international student, didn't ask). The family chose the cheapest school in DC and it was all online. Schooling has not interfered much with her being able to watch the kids. Should she be working? Probably not, but almost all international students are. They used to be able to work at school limited hours, but nearly impossible in pandemic. The difference is that when a sponsor Au Pair/international student works as a lifeguard or server, the blame is on the person or maybe the company, but when the person works for the family, the blame is on the family, and the blame comes from other families. I wouldn't blame anybody. Plenty of people working who are not allowed to work in this country. Working is not a crime per se and that's why immigration is not cracking down as much as some people would like them to. Can happen ofcourse and I know two people - neither was an an Au Pair. Both worked in restaurants.
Anyhow, the Au Pair can easily also take off and go work in the restaurant or another family. Nobody is going to chase them down or call the immigration and nothing is going to happen to the sponsor. Family should not be responsible for controlling a grown-up person. Not sure what would happen if the family themselves reports the person. I have not heard of such case. The one case I know where they asked the Au Pair to find another sponsor if she is not working for them, the Au Pair simply moved out, found a restauran job, finished school, and I think the family finally just let it go.
I dropped out of school at some point because it was super expensive and my sponsor stopped sponsoring. Nobody even checked if I was at school. I never finished Strayer, but since I left the country on time, I was able to come back with another student visa. So glad they didn't ask for diploma from Strayer.
The Au Pair lives in the family's house. They are part of the family as a foreign born student with student visa going to school here. It is not easy for somebody to claim that the former Au Pair watching tv with the kids or going for a walk, is working. She is clearly now part of your family as any long lost cousin foreign cousin would be. Also, it you don't feel comfortable sponsoring an Au Pair, don't do it. They can have their parents show ca $30k or whatever the cheapest is nowadays and the parents can sponsor them. You can still allow them to live in your house. There is no law against that. I'd be happy if my Au Pair family offered such help. Asking to sponsor them is quite a lot to ask.
The ones that did sponsor their Au Pairs absolutely loved them. One girl got hire by some non-profit, the other went on to do her Master's and got hired by some European company.
I can see somebody do it who just needs the Au Pair for pick ups and drop offs. Again, I'd ask them if their family would show the financial support. Something my family could do now, but not 25 years ago when I first left EE.
Once you sponsor them, they are not an Au Pair anymore. They are an international student living in your house and maybe their family does indeed have enough money to pay for their schooling and living expenses or at least contribute.
Just my thoughts and experience; not legal advice.