Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Diet soda is bad for you... but, she doesn’t need to tell you that especially since it sounds like she has terrible eating habits. I would rematch over this. It’s a clear mismatch in expectations.

Nope. A diet soda here and there isn’t bad for you, nor is a regular soda or a glass of wine. Any of those things (and really mostly anything you ingest) in excess is “bad for you”...

Aspartame is indeed bad for you.

So is alcohol. So is saturated fat. Etc. Etc.

Yep. I don’t drink alcohol or eat or drink aspartame. And I limit saturated fat. It still has no bearing on whether an AP is fat and/or healthy.

Anonymous wrote:agree no fat au pairs. Would not fit in with our active, sports- oriented family.

Yeah, no... I can hike for hours (all day) or chase kids around the park all day, never met a kid who could keep it up all day. Oh, and I’m very overweight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Diet soda is bad for you... but, she doesn’t need to tell you that especially since it sounds like she has terrible eating habits. I would rematch over this. It’s a clear mismatch in expectations.

Nope. A diet soda here and there isn’t bad for you, nor is a regular soda or a glass of wine. Any of those things (and really mostly anything you ingest) in excess is “bad for you”...

Aspartame is indeed bad for you.

So is alcohol. So is saturated fat. Etc. Etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Diet soda is bad for you... but, she doesn’t need to tell you that especially since it sounds like she has terrible eating habits. I would rematch over this. It’s a clear mismatch in expectations.

Nope. A diet soda here and there isn’t bad for you, nor is a regular soda or a glass of wine. Any of those things (and really mostly anything you ingest) in excess is “bad for you”...

Aspartame is indeed bad for you.

Anonymous wrote:agree no fat au pairs. Would not fit in with our active, sports- oriented family.

I'm not overweight. But the woman who coaches both my daughter's soccer and basketball team is obese. She not only coaches these sports she also is part of a recreational softball team and leads up our mom's charity kick ball tournament every year. She is the most active person I know. And she's probably 5'4" 225 pounds.

Why not just admit you hate fat people because you perceive that they are lazy and have no self control? And heck, for some people that's true. But even if you're skinny you're a terrible person. Does that make every skinny person a terrible person??

How can APs screen against bigoted AF HFs such as PPs? One hopes PPs are saving for therapy for their DDs with all of the body-shaming these heinous HMs are passing on to their kids. Yikes!

agree no fat au pairs. Would not fit in with our active, sports- oriented family.

What’s your car? I weigh 126 and am 5’4” (so fat by DCUM standards) and I cannot fit in the middle seat with two car seats in the back. It’s impossible.

The car seat thing - she’s probably uncomfortable back there and feeling self conscious, which can come across as behaving like a brat. I put my oldest child in the 3rd row so that no one has to sit in the middle. I also would sit in the middle myself if there were 5 people in the car before I moved DC because I’m a relatively small person and could squeeze through the seats but it’s still tight!!

The food thing - buy what you buy, ask her to set a positive example and take a no thank you bite, which is what I require my kids to do. Re. The rotisserie chicken - I would have showed her how to slice it like the deli and pointed out that all meat has bones at one point. Don’t buy junk for her but do purchase reasonable requests (and don’t be petty over a few dollars - that has always gone a long way with my ap’s!!)

She sounds self conscious and immature. If you commit to getting to know her as a person and accept her weaknesses while celebrating her strengths, you could maybe salvage the year. But if you don’t want to do that, it’s better to rematch for both you and her. Keep your sanity, let her have a more positive experience. Plus, if you need a driver and you don’t have the time or patience for her to improve, cut your losses.

Anonymous wrote:Our “I’m a vegetarian but eat everything but meat” au pair ACTUALLY lived on a diet consisting only of bread, vast amounts of strawberry jam, the occasional sugary yogurt if we happened to have those in our house, and Honeycrisp (HAD to be Honeycrisp) apples. Didn’t like vegetables. Didn’t like vegetarian meat substitutes even though she asked us to buy a bunch of those (which sat in our freezer). She basically ate flour and sugar and that was it. Stockpiled cookies and candy in her room. And then complained about it having energy and feeling sluggish. Um, yep, trash diet will do that to you!

As long as she wasn’t fat. The fat shamers won’t see the issue.

*complained about NOT having energy. Darn typos.

Our “I’m a vegetarian but eat everything but meat” au pair ACTUALLY lived on a diet consisting only of bread, vast amounts of strawberry jam, the occasional sugary yogurt if we happened to have those in our house, and Honeycrisp (HAD to be Honeycrisp) apples. Didn’t like vegetables. Didn’t like vegetarian meat substitutes even though she asked us to buy a bunch of those (which sat in our freezer). She basically ate flour and sugar and that was it. Stockpiled cookies and candy in her room. And then complained about it having energy and feeling sluggish. Um, yep, trash diet will do that to you!

My mother drilled into my head that being fat is the worst thing you can be. As ridiculous as I know that is in reality, I will ALWAYS snap judge overweight people. And I will always feel stress and anxiety if the scale moves up a few pounds. I NEVER want my daughters to feel like I do. I would hire an au pair of any size as long as she was active and demonstrated all of the other traits we want in our au pair.

Anonymous wrote:I would not want a fat AP. A terrible example to the kids.

Do these APs who do not eat fruit and veggies have scurvy?

I want a fat-shaming woman as a mother/sister/teacher/president. A terrible role-model for daughters and girls. Do these fat-shaming woman have moral compasses?

I would not want a fat AP. A terrible example to the kids.

Do these APs who do not eat fruit and veggies have scurvy?