Anonymous
Post 08/19/2019 09:29     Subject: Re:AP fighting back because we won't buy her oreos
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Our APs also keep food in her room. I’ll buy them anything they want and it stays in the kitchen and is free for the family (though many times we don’t eat it because it’s not to our taste, but we can). If she wants private food, she buys it and it stays in her room and she doesn’t have to share. I would buy Oreos and just limit the kids eating of them. I’m not sure why OP can’t just say no if she doesn’t want her kids eating too many.


Because she stated up front that she wouldn’t buy them in her handbook. AP asked for them anyway and wanted to fight over it.


If you want to pull out the handbook lawyer move over a pack of Oreo's I think you are in for a rough year. AP's can play that game as well.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2019 16:30     Subject: AP fighting back because we won't buy her oreos
Anonymous wrote:I agree this probably really isn't about the oreos. It is hard to know if Op is really rigid and difficult and Op is just pushing back or if Op has been really reasonable about everything but won't buy oreos and au pair is an immature prick.

Either way it doesn't sound like a good fit.


+1. This AP/HF relationship is doomed.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2019 14:38     Subject: AP fighting back because we won't buy her oreos
I agree this probably really isn't about the oreos. It is hard to know if Op is really rigid and difficult and Op is just pushing back or if Op has been really reasonable about everything but won't buy oreos and au pair is an immature prick.

Either way it doesn't sound like a good fit.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2019 14:07     Subject: AP fighting back because we won't buy her oreos
Maybe because the au pair lives in our ADU, but we buy her all the snacks she wants, but tell her she cannot eat them in front of our toddler at any time because she’s in the phase where she wants whatever you’re eating so we’re trying not to give her sugar or empty carbs on the regular).
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2019 11:36     Subject: Re:AP fighting back because we won't buy her oreos
Control freaks shouldn’t have APS or nannies, they should stay home so they can control every morsel that enters their child’s mouth.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2019 09:25     Subject: AP fighting back because we won't buy her oreos
You can't control what she eats or wants to eat.
She likes oreos, she hasn't asked you for lobster every week !

She can keep her treats in her bedroom ...
Or you can teach your children that "yes there are oreos in the kitchen but they belong to AP and they're not allowed to have any".

Former AP.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2019 07:34     Subject: Re:AP fighting back because we won't buy her oreos
Anonymous wrote:Our APs also keep food in her room. I’ll buy them anything they want and it stays in the kitchen and is free for the family (though many times we don’t eat it because it’s not to our taste, but we can). If she wants private food, she buys it and it stays in her room and she doesn’t have to share. I would buy Oreos and just limit the kids eating of them. I’m not sure why OP can’t just say no if she doesn’t want her kids eating too many.


Because she stated up front that she wouldn’t buy them in her handbook. AP asked for them anyway and wanted to fight over it.
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2019 22:28     Subject: Re:AP fighting back because we won't buy her oreos
Our APs also keep food in her room. I’ll buy them anything they want and it stays in the kitchen and is free for the family (though many times we don’t eat it because it’s not to our taste, but we can). If she wants private food, she buys it and it stays in her room and she doesn’t have to share. I would buy Oreos and just limit the kids eating of them. I’m not sure why OP can’t just say no if she doesn’t want her kids eating too many.
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2019 16:11     Subject: Re:AP fighting back because we won't buy her oreos
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is not the right forum to be making this complaint. The nanny troll is going to make fun of you for being cheap and what else would you expect from an underpaid, practically enslaved foreign worker?

That being said, I understand completely. Our AP shared Pringles from her room with our two kids yesterday and I was annoyed. There's a reason why I don't buy them and turn a blind eye to our "no food eaten in the house other than the dining areas/kitchen" policy for the APs that hide the junk in their room. No, a "special shelf in the pantry" doesn't cut it. My curious 3 year old is not going to "respect" an unopened treat in an easily accessible pantry shelf and I don't want to hear the continual whining of "why can't I have an Oreo?"

Is your LCC a good one that would support you? Maybe AP just needs another view (i.e., the LCC confirming that a HF does NOT have to buy an AP Oreos whenever she desires).


So you won’t allow food in their bedroom and they’re not allowed to keep it in the kitchen so where should the AP keep it?


Every AP has kept food in their bedroom. We've just verbally told them to go ahead, but we reserve the right to go in if we're smelling something awful (like too much trash/something rotting) or following an ant trail, at which point we might actually enforce the "no food anywhere else" policy that's in our handbook.

And if AP keeps it in the kitchen, they can. But we do let the kids go and get their own snacks from the easily accessible pantry, so there is a danger they'll ask for whatever it is unless the AP is smart enough to hide it/put it on a higher shelf (and you would think this is obvious, but APs do not always have common sense). Our current AP apparently has no problem sharing junk food though...