Anonymous
Post 05/11/2018 22:42     Subject: Nanny asking for ridiculous raise
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. A week ago she asked for $30/h. We discussed it again after that and again this week. She had 2 opportunities to accept. This was my last offer. I wasn’t going to sit around and let her manipulate us like were owe her a big raise. Now the 3rd time she wanted to think about it? Nope. Not in my book. And for those of you saying my 4 year old is going to pay, fortunately he’ll be fine. My housekeeper has been with us since before he was born so she is very familiar with him and so is he. She’s baby sat him before on days where the nanny couldn’t. He adores her as well.


I am glad you are so sure. So the woman who cared for him disappears for the first time in his life and you don't think it will have any ill effect? I hope you are right.

You should have given her a form no and let her live with it.

Then again, you are the type who thinks cleaning toilets is good preparation to nanny a baby and a child so - whatever...



Our housekeeper cleaned our house 3x a week and the other 2x would nanny for a baby and toddler. Prior to this, she had nannying experience as a live in. Please don’t comment on someones abilities if you don’t know their background.



I don't think that was what PP was commenting on, OP.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2018 22:35     Subject: Nanny asking for ridiculous raise
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. A week ago she asked for $30/h. We discussed it again after that and again this week. She had 2 opportunities to accept. This was my last offer. I wasn’t going to sit around and let her manipulate us like were owe her a big raise. Now the 3rd time she wanted to think about it? Nope. Not in my book. And for those of you saying my 4 year old is going to pay, fortunately he’ll be fine. My housekeeper has been with us since before he was born so she is very familiar with him and so is he. She’s baby sat him before on days where the nanny couldn’t. He adores her as well.


Yeah, mothers like you always say "he'll be fine". And you're right - he is not going to die but it is not good for him either. Someone who cared for him has disappeared and he cannot understand why.You should have calmed down and given the nanny of four years a chance to accept the final offer and save face.

Sometimes, as a parent, it is not about "our book" - it is about our kids' books.


They’re my children. I did what I thought was best for them. If I had given her the raise I would not be happy with her and possibly would have let her go anyway. If she had accepted our raise, she might have been upset and quit anyway or her nannying abilities would have been compromised since she was also giving us a take it or leave it situation
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2018 22:33     Subject: Nanny asking for ridiculous raise
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. A week ago she asked for $30/h. We discussed it again after that and again this week. She had 2 opportunities to accept. This was my last offer. I wasn’t going to sit around and let her manipulate us like were owe her a big raise. Now the 3rd time she wanted to think about it? Nope. Not in my book. And for those of you saying my 4 year old is going to pay, fortunately he’ll be fine. My housekeeper has been with us since before he was born so she is very familiar with him and so is he. She’s baby sat him before on days where the nanny couldn’t. He adores her as well.


I am glad you are so sure. So the woman who cared for him disappears for the first time in his life and you don't think it will have any ill effect? I hope you are right.

You should have given her a form no and let her live with it.

Then again, you are the type who thinks cleaning toilets is good preparation to nanny a baby and a child so - whatever...



Our housekeeper cleaned our house 3x a week and the other 2x would nanny for a baby and toddler. Prior to this, she had nannying experience as a live in. Please don’t comment on someones abilities if you don’t know their background.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2018 22:26     Subject: Nanny asking for ridiculous raise
Anonymous wrote:Op here. A week ago she asked for $30/h. We discussed it again after that and again this week. She had 2 opportunities to accept. This was my last offer. I wasn’t going to sit around and let her manipulate us like were owe her a big raise. Now the 3rd time she wanted to think about it? Nope. Not in my book. And for those of you saying my 4 year old is going to pay, fortunately he’ll be fine. My housekeeper has been with us since before he was born so she is very familiar with him and so is he. She’s baby sat him before on days where the nanny couldn’t. He adores her as well.


Yeah, mothers like you always say "he'll be fine". And you're right - he is not going to die but it is not good for him either. Someone who cared for him has disappeared and he cannot understand why.You should have calmed down and given the nanny of four years a chance to accept the final offer and save face.

Sometimes, as a parent, it is not about "our book" - it is about our kids' books.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2018 22:23     Subject: Nanny asking for ridiculous raise
Anonymous wrote:Op here. A week ago she asked for $30/h. We discussed it again after that and again this week. She had 2 opportunities to accept. This was my last offer. I wasn’t going to sit around and let her manipulate us like were owe her a big raise. Now the 3rd time she wanted to think about it? Nope. Not in my book. And for those of you saying my 4 year old is going to pay, fortunately he’ll be fine. My housekeeper has been with us since before he was born so she is very familiar with him and so is he. She’s baby sat him before on days where the nanny couldn’t. He adores her as well.


I am glad you are so sure. So the woman who cared for him disappears for the first time in his life and you don't think it will have any ill effect? I hope you are right.

You should have given her a form no and let her live with it.

Then again, you are the type who thinks cleaning toilets is good preparation to nanny a baby and a child so - whatever...
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2018 22:03     Subject: Nanny asking for ridiculous raise
Op here. A week ago she asked for $30/h. We discussed it again after that and again this week. She had 2 opportunities to accept. This was my last offer. I wasn’t going to sit around and let her manipulate us like were owe her a big raise. Now the 3rd time she wanted to think about it? Nope. Not in my book. And for those of you saying my 4 year old is going to pay, fortunately he’ll be fine. My housekeeper has been with us since before he was born so she is very familiar with him and so is he. She’s baby sat him before on days where the nanny couldn’t. He adores her as well.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2018 21:50     Subject: Nanny asking for ridiculous raise
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Neither party valued the relationship past money. That's the real problem.


BS! OP valued the nanny! Paid well, good benefits, open to retaining a relationship ... what makes you think the OP didn’t value the nanny? Because she wouldn’t give in to ridiculous demands?


Op here. We did love our nanny. Unfortunately raising her wage that high would mean that it would take away from other expenses like having to pay our mortgage, paying bills, etc. I mentioned in an earlier comment that we have a lot of monthly expenses so it wouldn’t be realistic to raise her wage that high.


You didn't give her a chance to think about your final offer. You fired her for asking. I am not saying that looking at your financials and using that as the reason for the raise wasn't a firing offense, but you really didn't give her a chance once she knew it was $27 or the door. Your 4 year old is the one who is paying the price for both of your rash and angry (you) and unprofessional (nanny) behavior.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2018 21:47     Subject: Nanny asking for ridiculous raise
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Neither party valued the relationship past money. That's the real problem.


BS! OP valued the nanny! Paid well, good benefits, open to retaining a relationship ... what makes you think the OP didn’t value the nanny? Because she wouldn’t give in to ridiculous demands?


She could have given her a chance to accept the $27 raise. Instead she ended it and let her go.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2018 21:27     Subject: Nanny asking for ridiculous raise
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Neither party valued the relationship past money. That's the real problem.


BS! OP valued the nanny! Paid well, good benefits, open to retaining a relationship ... what makes you think the OP didn’t value the nanny? Because she wouldn’t give in to ridiculous demands?


Op here. We did love our nanny. Unfortunately raising her wage that high would mean that it would take away from other expenses like having to pay our mortgage, paying bills, etc. I mentioned in an earlier comment that we have a lot of monthly expenses so it wouldn’t be realistic to raise her wage that high.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2018 21:20     Subject: Nanny asking for ridiculous raise
Anonymous wrote:Neither party valued the relationship past money. That's the real problem.


BS! OP valued the nanny! Paid well, good benefits, open to retaining a relationship ... what makes you think the OP didn’t value the nanny? Because she wouldn’t give in to ridiculous demands?
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2018 21:17     Subject: Nanny asking for ridiculous raise
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Neither party valued the relationship past money. That's the real problem.


The fault of both. And the four-year-old pays the real price.


So true. The MB and the nanny both valued money more than the children.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2018 20:52     Subject: Nanny asking for ridiculous raise
Anonymous wrote:Neither party valued the relationship past money. That's the real problem.


The fault of both. And the four-year-old pays the real price.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2018 20:37     Subject: Nanny asking for ridiculous raise
Neither party valued the relationship past money. That's the real problem.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2018 19:07     Subject: Nanny asking for ridiculous raise
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My guess is that she has some nanny friends egging her on, and telling her not to back down.

I feel badly for both of you.


My guess is that this nanny was foreign-born and her husband was egging her on. I can't imagine other nannies giving her this bad advice.


I can. There are a couple who post on this board who I think get their kicks out of giving line-in-the-sand advice designed to get other nannies fired.


However not one nanny or one poster on this board thought the nanny was right. No one here gave her that advice, I am sure.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2018 18:51     Subject: Nanny asking for ridiculous raise
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My guess is that she has some nanny friends egging her on, and telling her not to back down.

I feel badly for both of you.


My guess is that this nanny was foreign-born and her husband was egging her on. I can't imagine other nannies giving her this bad advice.


I can. There are a couple who post on this board who I think get their kicks out of giving line-in-the-sand advice designed to get other nannies fired.