Anonymous wrote: I appreciate the sentiment of $25/hour in a vacuum, but we pay for 52 hours per week. That would be $1450/week or $75k per year, plus taxes and preschool on top of that. I just think that's too much.

Anonymous wrote:MB here. I think you're conflating some issues here OP, which is understandable but short-sighted.

You have a nanny you like and trust, whom you want to retain. You offer a decent compensation package, especially when the additional vacation time and regular early departures are factored in. Her workload is steadily increasing in terms of complexity - so the skills she needs now (3 kids at various ages and differing schedules) are changing. If she can keep up with all of that (and wants to) then that further increases her value.

Going through nanny transitions with my kids has taught me to seriously weigh the value of continuity, family knowledge, stability for the kids, trust/reliability and my stress level very highly. All of those easily translate to an extra $50-75 per week.

So my advice is to be generous with your nanny and give at least a $1/hr increase. Also talk with her about other ways you can show your appreciation. Perhaps formalize that one shorter day a week, or add some health insurance benefit (that can be a real cash value without the added costs of taxes), give her a few more guaranteed vacation days (all of xmas week in addition to the two weeks for instance) etc... And ask her what would mean the most to her (in addition to some sort of raise.)

Then deal w/ your husband's concerns separately. Frame that in terms of "happy wife/happy life", stress free household is worth its weight in gold, the cost of finding/hiring/training a new nanny certainly being more than a few hundred dollars, etc... Don't make your nanny pay the price for what you have to negotiate w/ your husband.

If you have money, use it. Throw money at the situation to make your nanny happy and make all of your lives easier. It's money well spent and nickel and diming will hurt you in the long run.

If you had an unexpected car expense of 2k you would pay it, right? So put this total expense into that kind of perspective.

Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:Op is about to lose a great nanny and then she will see what she gets for > $20/hr for 3 kids. Wow.

Anonymous wrote:It took me a bit, but I did the math.
Your nanny works 10.25 hours every day, which is 71.75 hours per week.

You're paying her a base rate of $12.50, and an OT rate of $18.75

I think you're drastically underpaying your nanny for even one child, much less three. Those seem like incredibly long hours.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Part of the problem here is that DH doesn't think being a nanny really is that hard. I don't know if anyone can relate to this issue with their DHs. I don't think being a nanny is backbreaking labor, but I still distinctly remember how hectic just two kids in the evening was for me when DH was working late, older child was a volatile 3, and younger child was a baby. And, they're my kids, so if I ignore crying or lose my cool from time to time, that's not ideal but whatever. I'm sure my nanny, who is a cooler cucumber than me anyway, feels differently because it is her job.

ooh, I think it's time for Dad to have a long weekend by himself with the kids. you go on a girls trip, and no nanny or grandparents that weekend.
that usually what it takes to help increase his appreciation and understanding. I do this every so often, and it's amazing how appreciative DH is of small things after that.

NP here, but I can't imagine my DH being anything but pissed if I went on a girls trip for the weekend and left him alone with all of the kids and no childcare. Does this really work?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Part of the problem here is that DH doesn't think being a nanny really is that hard. I don't know if anyone can relate to this issue with their DHs. I don't think being a nanny is backbreaking labor, but I still distinctly remember how hectic just two kids in the evening was for me when DH was working late, older child was a volatile 3, and younger child was a baby. And, they're my kids, so if I ignore crying or lose my cool from time to time, that's not ideal but whatever. I'm sure my nanny, who is a cooler cucumber than me anyway, feels differently because it is her job.

ooh, I think it's time for Dad to have a long weekend by himself with the kids. you go on a girls trip, and no nanny or grandparents that weekend.
that usually what it takes to help increase his appreciation and understanding. I do this every so often, and it's amazing how appreciative DH is of small things after that.