Anonymous wrote:I find it very interesting that with all of these "safety" issues -- the title of this thread is not, "Au pair leaving her medicine unsecured" or "au pair leaving food in her room"... instead it is: WWYD au pair SNEAKING food. That, to me, confirms you are bat shit crazy.
I'm a HM for 7 years, and I think you are crazy, and have no sense of boundaries. Perhaps you should unlock your lockbox of meds and try taking some of them.
Preposterous.
Your whole issue is probably that she's 'gasp' eating junk food, or eating more than you allow. The rest of this is just cover for your snooping and neurosis.
+1
Thank you PP!
OP, there is a difference between noticing your AP left medication out on her nightstand if you enter her room after she has been asked about and agreed to it and you rummaging through her (closed, I assume) drawers.
Going through somebody's things is different to closing a window in your home because it's raining. Just as you would pour some water into your coworkers trashcan if it was on fire but not rummage through it to see if your coworker has inappropriate letters in their trash. One is prevention of harm, one is... being nosy. Had you gone into her room and noticed the medication plus an open can of coke and a half eaten chocolate bar that would be different.
But I am sure you know that what you did was wrong because otherwise you wouldn't be worried about how to approach it. Now, two wrongs don't make a right.
Mention the medication to her (if she told you that you could enter her room, noticing and mentioning it shouldn't be a problem) and go through your basic house rules again (include closing windows, locking her door, no food in room). Have you made it clear before that with "no food" you also mean no drinks and no closed snacks? I have to admit I couldn't care less about a dozen cans of coke in anybody's room (especially not if they didn't make me drink it). Open cans, yes. But closed? It's her health. She decides what goes into her body and as long as soda pop is legal... It's also highly unlikely that a can of anything will attract any pests. Unless you were very detailed in your "no food" rule she might take it to mean "no sandwiches, no fries, no pizza" rather than no snickers bar and no coke.
Also please get a door knob lock / safety cover so that you kids can't "accidentally" walk into your AP's room and fall out of the window because they don't yet know that they are not allowed in there. Remember that your AP is only human and might forget to close her window just because sometimes humans forget things and it can happen to the best.
There should also be no reason for her to "sneak" food into her room and "hide" it in her drawers. She should feel comfortable enough to eat what is around and to have her own food (paid from her own money, I assume) out in the open on a shelf or in the pantry without having to worry you might judge her or one of you might eat it. That's what happens with "adult children" in your home - if they can't have it in public (in front of their parents) it is very likely that they will sneak it in somewhere (be it a birthday party, school or when out with friends or overdo it as soon as they move out for college). Just like my mom, in the 50s, had a pair of pants in her bag and would change on the way to school. Or I would sneak chocolate and hide the wrappers in my couch (you should have seen it when I moved out - 10 years worth of candy wrappers, ridiculous).