Anonymous wrote:I was just reading the CCAP rematch files. Here is one that I think perfectly indicates why it's too simplistic to say that high rematch rates are always due to a bad agency or to APs being abused. Or maybe you think this AP is being abused too by her HF not adjusting along with her "personal transformation"?

****
__ has gone through a personal transformation and no longer feels that she is a good fit for her host
family. She has started going to yoga classes and took up meditation. She shares that she very much enjoys
a more reflective, kind and mindful lifestyle.

The host family respects that __ has changed and agrees that they have a busy, fast paced life which no longer seems to work for __. The host mom shared that she is great with the children, a good tutor and a strong driver.
The host family feels that she can be a great au pair to a different host family that aligns more with her
new lifestyle. __ would like to stay close to the west coast but is open to the right family anywhere in the US.

No one *said* always. Stop being defensive of your problems.

Anonymous wrote:I was just reading the CCAP rematch files. Here is one that I think perfectly indicates why it's too simplistic to say that high rematch rates are always due to a bad agency or to APs being abused. Or maybe you think this AP is being abused too by her HF not adjusting along with her "personal transformation"?

****
__ has gone through a personal transformation and no longer feels that she is a good fit for her host
family. She has started going to yoga classes and took up meditation. She shares that she very much enjoys
a more reflective, kind and mindful lifestyle.

The host family respects that __ has changed and agrees that they have a busy, fast paced life which no longer seems to work for __. The host mom shared that she is great with the children, a good tutor and a strong driver.
The host family feels that she can be a great au pair to a different host family that aligns more with her
new lifestyle. __ would like to stay close to the west coast but is open to the right family anywhere in the US.

No one "always". Stop being defensive of the problems.

I was just reading the CCAP rematch files. Here is one that I think perfectly indicates why it's too simplistic to say that high rematch rates are always due to a bad agency or to APs being abused. Or maybe you think this AP is being abused too by her HF not adjusting along with her "personal transformation"?

****
__ has gone through a personal transformation and no longer feels that she is a good fit for her host
family. She has started going to yoga classes and took up meditation. She shares that she very much enjoys
a more reflective, kind and mindful lifestyle.

The host family respects that __ has changed and agrees that they have a busy, fast paced life which no longer seems to work for __. The host mom shared that she is great with the children, a good tutor and a strong driver.
The host family feels that she can be a great au pair to a different host family that aligns more with her
new lifestyle. __ would like to stay close to the west coast but is open to the right family anywhere in the US.

5 APs, 6th coming soon (July).
No rematches
Been with APIA and CC.

I have seen friends of my au pairs or heard of them. Of my current AP's comrades (there were 4 of them total) from her flight, 2 rematched and 2 are still with original families. Of my previous au pair's flight, 3 of 3 stayed with original families. They had friends in the cluster rematch, but it was pretty low.

I try to screen a lot before they come and have a list of requirements. I think I have been very lucky. I had one ALMOST go to rematch, but after two mediations, we muddled through the year.

^^my experience with Germans and swedes is that they ALL had friends and family who were precious or current APs before they even stepped foot in the country. It was very apparent from the interview process. I think many of them know what they are getting into, but many of these young people are not so great at interviewing the families and jump on the first offer that comes along.

"So after year 1, HFs are usually pretty prepared, but the APs coming in new still often are not."

I am not sure from which country you're getting your APs, but we match with Western Europeans, and they are VERY VERY linked in and savvy about what to expect. Our current AP told me that he heard more stories than he could count about APs who said that the work taking care of children and in some cases running households was hard, but that all the former APs he had spoken with said that it was worth it, they grew up at on, they made great friends, their English improved dramatically, and they got to travel and see places. He came in under no illusions about what he would find, and the same goes for his friends. Any AP who is on FB and in group for former and current APs is going to see the good, the bad, and the ugly. If anything, sometimes these APs see more of the bad and the ugly than the good, because it tends to be unhappy APs who post a lot, because the happy ones are too busy doing other things.

It does surprise me when I come across an AP who hasn't made a ton of connections with previous Aps, even through FB, and hasn't learned all he or she can about the program. We won't match with an AP who doesn't speak to and ask good, probing questions of our current AP and at least three former APs. I immediately send them info to get linked up with the FB group for the APs in our area, so that they are seeing all along what is going on, and if someone didn't jump on those connections, that would be a concern for me. One of our AP's close friends was over yesterday, and she is leaving next week and the new Ap coming. Since our AP and that family's AP have been close friends for three years (through three different APs each), I asked her about the new one coming, and she said that the new AP never contacted her, even though the HF gave the new one her contact info and told her she was welcome to reach out. So bizarre and IMO not very smart. If that AP comes in unprepared for what she is going to find, that is her own fault, as the family welcomed her to learn all she could about them from the outgoing AP (just as the previous APs all did from each other, which is why our APs have always slipped right into friendships with this family's APs....the outgoing one would tell her replacement to call our AP upon arrival, and she would, and that would be that).

The whole thing is frought with huge problems, but at least the agency owners are making out like bandits.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen successful and unsuccessful matches with all agencies. The more important factors are realistic expectations, communication and commitment from both the APs and the HFs. While Area directors may be able to mediate or facilitate a re-match, they are not ultimately responsible for a successful or a failed match. I've had four APs, no re-matches, but every year has a different set of challenges which we address.

Doesn't the agency interview each family prior to acceptance, and verify their correct understanding of ALL regulations?

Time to stop making excuses for yourselves.

Huh? A successful match has very little to do with 'understanding the regulations'. They aren't too complicated. But I guess your post points out the problem, if you think all it takes for a match to be successful is that the "host family understands the regulations", then that shows very well why the rematch rate is so high.

PP is absolutely right that the most important factors are realistic expectations, communication, and commitment. There's only so much the agency can do to ensure this on both sides. Although I think they could do a WAY better job than they do on the expectation front. That said, looking back, my LCC did try to stress the things we should expect, but the truth was until you were 'in it' , we didn't really get it. So after year 1, HFs are usually pretty prepared, but the APs coming in new still often are not.

Anonymous wrote:I've seen successful and unsuccessful matches with all agencies. The more important factors are realistic expectations, communication and commitment from both the APs and the HFs. While Area directors may be able to mediate or facilitate a re-match, they are not ultimately responsible for a successful or a failed match. I've had four APs, no re-matches, but every year has a different set of challenges which we address.

Doesn't the agency interview each family prior to acceptance, and verify their correct understanding of ALL regulations?

Time to stop making excuses for yourselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:30 to 40% seems right to me, based on my many years of being a HM and hearing about all the rematches from my AP.

I'm confused why agencies will not share the numbers. How else can you really compare the agencies/clusters, and make an informed choice?

Anyone?

Anonymous wrote:I've seen successful and unsuccessful matches with all agencies. The more important factors are realistic expectations, communication and commitment from both the APs and the HFs. While Area directors may be able to mediate or facilitate a re-match, they are not ultimately responsible for a successful or a failed match. I've had four APs, no re-matches, but every year has a different set of challenges which we address.

We've never rematched and I think it has to do with the fact that at my day job I manage 10 people. Most of them young college grads. I'm accustomed to working with people who A) have no experience and B) don't know what they are walking into and C) need a TON of hand holding. At work, I have to have frank conversations that are diplomatic, at times take uncomfortable disciplinary action, and have a shit load of patience, sometimes for very emotional young people.

You cannot plunk an AP into your home and just expect it to work. You have to be explicit in the expectations and lists. I have laminated checklists that they can check off with a dry eraser posted in our house. It took me weeks to complete. Examples of lists:

-Exactly the contents that need to be in the lacrosse bag and the flag football bag
-Exactly what the kids can choose from for Breakfast and lunch. They have to pick one from each food group. The list is long and the food healthy.
-Exactly what is expected when they clean their bathrooms and bedrooms on Thursdays (down to windex the windows, bleach the toilet seat, Clorox wipes the sink...total step by step)
-Exactly what chore are expected of the AP on an ongoing basis (wheel trash out two days a week, no leaving laundry in the laundry room)
-I come home at 5:30 and there is a end of day list checklist that must be completed by 5:20 (such as have kids line up shoes by the door, have coats and backpacks put away and all complete or incomplete homework and school notices lined neatly on the kitchen table for my review, all dishes put in dishwasher and all counters washed down, floors swept, toys put away....ect) I don't care of the kids or the AP does it. it needs to be done.
-I have a whiteboard and all food that runs low or runs out on APs watch or when AP is eating, the food much be written down on the whiteboard.
-We have a family calendar (google) and the AP puts their vacation plans/social plans on there and we put our schedule on there. Where AP is needed we highlight in red, where AP has firm plans that they need time off or need to make sure the weekend is free, thy highlight in yellow. For instance, our AP is going into DC on Saturday night. My friend invited us out Saturday night, I checked the calendar, saw yellow and I hired a sitter. No conflicts no problems no miscommunication.

Sounds like micromanaging, but it works out beautifully. The expectations are clear when it comes to every aspect of their jobs. By 6 weeks in the AP knows these lists like the back of their hand and it becomes second nature. We have had very few problems with our AP and have never once in 5 years had to call the LCC other than in the beginning with dumb question about licenses and classes.