Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But don't come from an aggressive place and tone or she will be defensive. You have to work together and make it a win /win for both of you. Having a clear work agreement and specific job duties is how to be an effective employer. Sounds like two of you haven't communicated effectively and not sure if it can return to place of respect unless you say to her respectfully you are sorry about the tone you have used in the past. Now you would like to start over and discuss how you can both move forward happily. You want to create a respectful job description you both will be happy about.

Sorry, but no way. This was a nanny/employer position, but she hasn't been upholding the housekeeping portion of the position.

Typo, meant nanny/housekeeper.

I don't think you like her op.

Good nannies simply aren't good house cleaners.

OP based on what you said on Page 4, I think you need to get a new nanny, one who will start maybe an hour before kids finish school and who agrees to use that hour to clean.

Anonymous wrote:But don't come from an aggressive place and tone or she will be defensive. You have to work together and make it a win /win for both of you. Having a clear work agreement and specific job duties is how to be an effective employer. Sounds like two of you haven't communicated effectively and not sure if it can return to place of respect unless you say to her respectfully you are sorry about the tone you have used in the past. Now you would like to start over and discuss how you can both move forward happily. You want to create a respectful job description you both will be happy about.

Sorry, but no way. This was a nanny/employer position, but she hasn't been upholding the housekeeping portion of the position.

But don't come from an aggressive place and tone or she will be defensive. You have to work together and make it a win /win for both of you. Having a clear work agreement and specific job duties is how to be an effective employer. Sounds like two of you haven't communicated effectively and not sure if it can return to place of respect unless you say to her respectfully you are sorry about the tone you have used in the past. Now you would like to start over and discuss how you can both move forward happily. You want to create a respectful job description you both will be happy about.

Did you renegotiate her job description when the schedule changed. You have to ask her if she is willing to do dothe job duties you would like her to do because she has more time then if she agrees put in I to a work agreement you both sign and agree to. Otherwise you are paying her for her time to be there I. Days kids have off from school or get sick and cannot attend school. She can run errands or do chores related to the children. Both of you can agree to be creative so she fills up the time productively.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope she quits. You are a witch.

What? Not at all. Why should OP pay her to do nothing?

Why should OP learn what a nanny is?

IF OP had thrown this on her I would agree but the contract was for a nanny/housekeeper hybrid in practice even if not in name.

OP, if you really like her as a nanny, offer reduced hours and take away cleaning responsibilities. Otherwise, find someone new, but do know that the housekeeping aspect isn't that appealing to many people so it could take some time to find someone who is truly good at both.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope she quits. You are a witch.

What? Not at all. Why should OP pay her to do nothing?

Why should OP learn what a nanny is?

Get over yourself. You are a fine example of why nannies get a bad reputation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope she quits. You are a witch.

What? Not at all. Why should OP pay her to do nothing?

Why should OP learn what a nanny is?

Anonymous wrote:I hope she quits. You are a witch.

What? Not at all. Why should OP pay her to do nothing?

We had a nanny who really just wasn't good about getting to tasks that she'd originally agreed to, simply because she was complacent and didn't particularly enjoy them e.g. "I'm sorry I didn't fold the kids laundry again, I just hate folding laundry". So I did all the kids laundry and cooking and cleaning and told myself that it was ok because we had a nanny who loved the kids and took good care of them. And then she quit to go back to school full time. I found a new nanny who took on all the laundry (even mine which I'm really not sure how I feel about) and making kids beds and some light cleaning and other tasks that WE DID NOT require. And she loves the kids and is great with them. Life is so much smoother and easier and I wish we'd made a change years earlier.

If the situation is causing you stress, change it. There are fantastic nannies out there who actually have a decent work ethic, and if you are paying a competitive wage and offering decent benefits then you should be able to find someone great.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am in the same situation and recently asked the nanny to log how she spends her time when the kids are not at home. She just wasn't getting through the basic tasks we agreed upon, but I was seeing lots of evidence that she was spending time transacting personal business and doing personal errands. So far she has ignored my request. I plan to repeat it, but have begun looking to replace her.

Your chances of success will increase only if you stop expecting a "nanny" (as you say,) to do your housecleaning.

Let's be honest. Your needs are housekeeper/sitter.

There are plenty of nanny/housekeepers out there. Some people may only work with very young children, but once kids start school, if the job is to continue then it's usually the case that household duties are added. Those duties may involve light housekeeping, maybe laundry, maybe errands, maybe even full housekeeping. If the nanny/housekeeper isn't doing her job, then she should be replaced with someone who will do the job.

Unless you have a very small and you have abnormally tidy kids, most nannies won't transition to doing full housekeeping, it's just too much work. Full laundry, cooking, errands, some houekeeping, sure, but not the full house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am in the same situation and recently asked the nanny to log how she spends her time when the kids are not at home. She just wasn't getting through the basic tasks we agreed upon, but I was seeing lots of evidence that she was spending time transacting personal business and doing personal errands. So far she has ignored my request. I plan to repeat it, but have begun looking to replace her.

Your chances of success will increase only if you stop expecting a "nanny" (as you say,) to do your housecleaning.

Let's be honest. Your needs are housekeeper/sitter.

There are plenty of nanny/housekeepers out there. Some people may only work with very young children, but once kids start school, if the job is to continue then it's usually the case that household duties are added. Those duties may involve light housekeeping, maybe laundry, maybe errands, maybe even full housekeeping. If the nanny/housekeeper isn't doing her job, then she should be replaced with someone who will do the job.

OP here. Although I asked our nanny to write down each day what's she's doing, she instead created a list of what she does each specific day of the week. Here's what was on it:
- Clean kitchen (we actually leave the kitchen very clean - this *might* include wiping the kitchen counter and putting the last cereal bowl in the dishwasher if the child was slow to eat breakfast that day)
- Kids' laundry, 1-2 loads
- Fold and put away laundry (note that this is a separate line item from kids' laundry; note also that I happen to know she isn't doing this in the a.m., as laundry folding usually happens during naptime and my older child helps with it; we also often come home to a basket of unfolded laundry sitting in laundry room, and my kids, with exception of the youngest, put away their own clothes. For the youngest, those clothes are often left in a basket by her room.)
- vacuum (no way this is happening daily, and I'd be surprised if it even happens weekly. I often vacuum after dinner because the floors are dirty with food from lunch, and I do the entire main level.)
- make lunch (she either makes PB&J or reheats leftovers; there is no big effort here, and I know that most days she's not doing this until the kids are home from school)
- clean up living room and kitchen (I see what it looks like before we go to bed; she's not cleaning up much of anything, if anything at all)
- straighten bookshelves/cubbies (apparently this is aspirational, as these certainly haven't been getting done with any frequency)
I should note that she does do the basics, mostly, and will run errands when asked, and seems to believe she's trying hard. She believes she has great work ethic. She honestly probably has less work ethic than any other child care provider we've had (but maybe we've just had really great people before).

So, all in all, what's she's done is listed what she should be doing, but hasn't been doing, or has in some cases been doing while the kids are home. Her lists actually confirmed for me that the morning hours don't make any sense. I guess the next decision point is considering whether we want to keep paying for a lot of hours that don't add value, or to reduce hours and likely find a new nanny. I'm leaning toward the second option.