Anonymous
Post 09/06/2015 06:32     Subject: Invite Nanny to DS's birthday party?
You are idiot.
Anonymous
Post 09/06/2015 04:45     Subject: Invite Nanny to DS's birthday party?
Anonymous wrote:We're about to have DD's 1st birthday and we didn't invite the nanny. She knows about the party, because we were joking about the theme in the context of something my DD was doing. I didn't invite her because I didn't want her to feel obliged to truck in 1.5 hours each way on one of her days off for a 2 hour party that she didn't know anyone else at. (We share a nanny with another family and they can't make the party because they happen to be out of town that weekend.) If it matters, she speaks English, but not super well... She speaks french to our DD; no one else at the party speaks french. Basically, I worried she'd feel obliged to come, but wouldn't want to.

After reading this thread, I'm worried that I made a mistake?

(If it matters... We're in a nanny share and the other baby had a party two weeks ago and they didn't invite the nanny either. The nanny has been with our families for ~8 months.)


Nanny here. What I prefer is to be invited but at the same time explicitly told that I don't have to come. I've been in situations where I felt I had to come and then awkwardly stood around for 2+ hours because I didn't know anyone. And it depends on the relationship you have with the nanny. If you're on a more friendlier basis with her, she could easily be hurt you didn't invite her. But if it's a strictly hand the kid over/run down of the day type of relationship, you're fine. She's probably relieved she didn't have to come up with an excuse.
Anonymous
Post 09/05/2015 07:44     Subject: Re:Invite Nanny to DS's birthday party?
Anonymous wrote:You will lose your nanny over this, OP. Make sure this is the hill you want to die on.



This. Not inviting her - after inviting her last year and she accepted/attended - is the wrong thing to do. This is the person who cares for your child. If your only complaint is that your child is too attached to her then you have no complaint at all.

You will lose her over this slight, OP. Make no mistake.
Anonymous
Post 09/05/2015 06:15     Subject: Re:Invite Nanny to DS's birthday party?
You will lose your nanny over this, OP. Make sure this is the hill you want to die on.
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2015 15:53     Subject: Re:Invite Nanny to DS's birthday party?
Anonymous wrote:I would be very hurt if I wasn't invited to my charge's first birthday. I would start looking for another job is I was invited to her first birthday party but not invited her second birthday party. Not that I would be mad - just certain that you were going to fire me so I would quit first.


This.

Anonymous
Post 09/03/2015 15:51     Subject: Invite Nanny to DS's birthday party?
Anonymous wrote:Tell her the truth, you're jealous, insecure and don't want her there. It's too bad it took two years for her to see your true colors.


+1
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2015 10:08     Subject: Re:Invite Nanny to DS's birthday party?
I would be very hurt if I wasn't invited to my charge's first birthday. I would start looking for another job is I was invited to her first birthday party but not invited her second birthday party. Not that I would be mad - just certain that you were going to fire me so I would quit first.
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2015 10:06     Subject: Invite Nanny to DS's birthday party?
Anonymous wrote:We're about to have DD's 1st birthday and we didn't invite the nanny. She knows about the party, because we were joking about the theme in the context of something my DD was doing. I didn't invite her because I didn't want her to feel obliged to truck in 1.5 hours each way on one of her days off for a 2 hour party that she didn't know anyone else at. (We share a nanny with another family and they can't make the party because they happen to be out of town that weekend.) If it matters, she speaks English, but not super well... She speaks french to our DD; no one else at the party speaks french. Basically, I worried she'd feel obliged to come, but wouldn't want to.

After reading this thread, I'm worried that I made a mistake?

(If it matters... We're in a nanny share and the other baby had a party two weeks ago and they didn't invite the nanny either. The nanny has been with our families for ~8 months.)


I would invite her. It is the right thing to do. Your nanny is a grown up and can decide if she wants to attend or not.
Anonymous
Post 09/03/2015 10:04     Subject: Invite Nanny to DS's birthday party?
We're about to have DD's 1st birthday and we didn't invite the nanny. She knows about the party, because we were joking about the theme in the context of something my DD was doing. I didn't invite her because I didn't want her to feel obliged to truck in 1.5 hours each way on one of her days off for a 2 hour party that she didn't know anyone else at. (We share a nanny with another family and they can't make the party because they happen to be out of town that weekend.) If it matters, she speaks English, but not super well... She speaks french to our DD; no one else at the party speaks french. Basically, I worried she'd feel obliged to come, but wouldn't want to.

After reading this thread, I'm worried that I made a mistake?

(If it matters... We're in a nanny share and the other baby had a party two weeks ago and they didn't invite the nanny either. The nanny has been with our families for ~8 months.)
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2015 17:21     Subject: Invite Nanny to DS's birthday party?
ROFL. Really OP? I sincerely hope you're another troll because this just sounds insane.

I worked for a family from the time their son was 3mo until he was 2.5, then pursued a career change. I am back with them - they now have two sons - for their current nanny's vacation and my former charge is simply delighted to see me. My heart melts when he tells me he loves me and he knows he is safe and respected with me.

That's what a close bond gives your child: security and happiness. Interfere and try to damage that at your child's own risk.
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2015 15:29     Subject: Invite Nanny to DS's birthday party?
Two questions for OP.

Are you in the U.S?
Are you in this century?
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2015 14:32     Subject: Invite Nanny to DS's birthday party?
I simply can't imagine parents not inviting an attached full-time nanny to a birthday party. If I was at such a party, I'd wonder what's up with that.
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2015 14:21     Subject: Re:Invite Nanny to DS's birthday party?
to all those PPs saying the nannies are up in arms about it, I think the response would be very different if the reason for the OP's desire to not invite the nanny wasn't because she didn't like how attached her son was to the nanny. If it was because they wanted a smaller party, I think that'd be different although I think the nanny's a significant part of the child's life and should be included. I've gone to every birthday party for the kids I was a live-in mother's helper for over the past 7 years (worked for 1.5 years) and that's not nearly as big as a full time nanny's job is.
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2015 14:00     Subject: Invite Nanny to DS's birthday party?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don't understand why all these nannies are making a big deal. If you love your charge so much give gift or do something fun together the day before. Please grow up and stop complaining.

Another insecure parent.


I doubt a single one of these nannies would be pissed off or hurt just from being excluded from a charge's birthday. The reaction here is to OP's explicit statement that her child is getting "too attached" to the nanny. She is not excluding nanny because it's more of a family thing or that she doesnmt think nanny woukd enjoy it, but because she specifically wants to undermine the bond between her caregiver and her child. Once a parent starts doing that, they no longer deserve a loving, committed nanny.

+1


If you think that is the case, you need to re-read these posts. I agree that OP should not be concerned about attachment--indeed, it is a good thing, and inevitable, especially with young charges--but many of the nanny posts here express dismay at being excluded from their charge's party.
Anonymous
Post 09/01/2015 13:58     Subject: Invite Nanny to DS's birthday party?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don't understand why all these nannies are making a big deal. If you love your charge so much give gift or do something fun together the day before. Please grow up and stop complaining.

Another insecure parent.




Another clingy, over-attached nanny.