Anonymous wrote:13:09, she is hired because she is cheap and willing to be their doormat.

Maybe. But it is a child trying to care for a child. It makes me uncomfortable.

13:09, she is hired because she is cheap and willing to be their doormat.

I get it, OP. I also resent the hell out of people who ask to much or me or ask too often. Like you, it is not that I can't say "no" - it is that it is uncomfortable and unpleasant for me to say no.

I hope we are not guilty of this with our nanny. We do ask for favors every now and again but certainly nothing like weekly.

I lost a friend because of her constant asking of favors -- all small things but nearly all the time. I just blew up once and yelled, "Can't you go two minutes without asking me to do something for you?! Just two minutes!!!"

Well, needless to say, we didn't recover after that.

I do not understand why some people just push and push and push... and then acted shocked when you finally push back.

Yes, it's pretty hard to find a way to ask a genuine question here without it going off the rails in a dozen different directions. I'm an MB who'd love to get some advice here today but I know I can't handle the inevitable accompanying backlash.

Re your MB - it sounds like she's just a needy, dependent kind of person. She's out of line, consistently and repeatedly, and yet she is undeterred. I don't really know that there is much you can do about except perhaps to address it head on. "Can I talk to you about something? I feel like I'm always saying no to you for these various additional requests, and I really hate having to do that. I just am not able to accommodate all of these things and still feel like I can do my job well, or comfortably." Try to say that when the husband is present also so he can (hopefully) help mitigate/regulate his wife a bit.

Or, you may need to look elsewhere. I would find it really draining, and eventually infuriating.

Op back again and I know I should have known better than to ever give examples on DCUM.


For the record - I do not drive my charges at all. We walk everywhere. And handling a double stroller with dry-cleaning draped over the handle-bar is uncomfortable and the dry cleaners is out of our way. MB knows this. MB knows that I have done this several times before when I was led to believe it was an emergency (she needed a dress for an event that night). It is awkward to push kids in a double stroller and it is NOT a part of my job. MB knows this. I know this.


Again, for the record, my complaint is not job creep or that MB thinks I should be doing these things. They are always asked as favors. And the favors are asked all the time.

I have the nerve to say "no" to my boss all the time and I am in corporate law.

I am sorry, OP, some people were simply not brought up with decorum or manners. I would never ask our nanny for a favor unless it was an emergency -- and I do not have weekly emergencies nor have I ever had a dry-cleaning-emergency.

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Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine ever telling a boss no. In all my 15 years I'm pretty sure I've never said no to a favor.

How often does she ask? That is the issue here.

I think for me I don't see them as favors more like my job. I get texts a few times a week to pick up dry cleaning, go to target to get xy and z. Or mail something at the post office. Pick up a starbucks gift card for someone. I don get asked to switch days but I get my start and stop time switched randomly and it just doesn't bother me that much. Like I said for me it's just my job.

OP here and none of that stuff is a part of my job (otherwise I wouldn't call the requests "favors"). I do everything directly related to my charges and anything for them. The "favors" are added on, usually at the last minute.

Again, my point is not that I cannot say "no" or that my employers don't accept "no" -- my point is that I HATE to have to say "no", I hate seeing MB so concerned when I say "no" and I have started resenting even being asked.

I guess I just think of going to the post office, hardware store, picking up dry cleaning as every nannies job unless your nf doesn't allow you to drive with their children. I view myself as a nanny who tries everyday to make my nf's life easier. If I go to the post office and pick up the dry cleaning on the way home from the park i have helped out mb and that makes me feel good and I know they appreciate me.

Again, that is part of your job - not part of mine. Again, that is why my employers and I think of those things as "favors".

I don't understand why you are being so obtuse, PP.

If you and your employers think you should do those things - great! Mine don't and I don't. Think of something that you would consider a favor and think about being asked to do that thing at least once a week. Then post back.

I never knew these would be apart of my job until mb asked me. It was never discussed or put into my contract. But I am happy do as I'm asked. I guess I'm just a helpful person.

Please stop, PP - you are embarrassing yourself at this point. Please.

The only people who should be embarrassed are the ones who have the nerve to ever even think of saying no to your employers. If I was an employer and an employee had the nerve to say no to me oh the hell they would pay. I would destroy them.

This is 2015. Employer =/= owner. An employee can refuse whatever the hell they want, and your only recourse would be to fire them. The fact that you even think you have as much as you think you do is incredibly disturbing.

I can lock up and torture whom ever I want. They would never see the light of day again.

Oh, great, the crazy basement dweller is back.

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Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine ever telling a boss no. In all my 15 years I'm pretty sure I've never said no to a favor.

How often does she ask? That is the issue here.

I think for me I don't see them as favors more like my job. I get texts a few times a week to pick up dry cleaning, go to target to get xy and z. Or mail something at the post office. Pick up a starbucks gift card for someone. I don get asked to switch days but I get my start and stop time switched randomly and it just doesn't bother me that much. Like I said for me it's just my job.

OP here and none of that stuff is a part of my job (otherwise I wouldn't call the requests "favors"). I do everything directly related to my charges and anything for them. The "favors" are added on, usually at the last minute.

Again, my point is not that I cannot say "no" or that my employers don't accept "no" -- my point is that I HATE to have to say "no", I hate seeing MB so concerned when I say "no" and I have started resenting even being asked.

I guess I just think of going to the post office, hardware store, picking up dry cleaning as every nannies job unless your nf doesn't allow you to drive with their children. I view myself as a nanny who tries everyday to make my nf's life easier. If I go to the post office and pick up the dry cleaning on the way home from the park i have helped out mb and that makes me feel good and I know they appreciate me.

Again, that is part of your job - not part of mine. Again, that is why my employers and I think of those things as "favors".

I don't understand why you are being so obtuse, PP.

If you and your employers think you should do those things - great! Mine don't and I don't. Think of something that you would consider a favor and think about being asked to do that thing at least once a week. Then post back.

I never knew these would be apart of my job until mb asked me. It was never discussed or put into my contract. But I am happy do as I'm asked. I guess I'm just a helpful person.

Please stop, PP - you are embarrassing yourself at this point. Please.

The only people who should be embarrassed are the ones who have the nerve to ever even think of saying no to your employers. If I was an employer and an employee had the nerve to say no to me oh the hell they would pay. I would destroy them.

This is 2015. Employer =/= owner. An employee can refuse whatever the hell they want, and your only recourse would be to fire them. The fact that you even think you have as much as you think you do is incredibly disturbing.

I can lock up and torture whom ever I want. They would never see the light of day again.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine ever telling a boss no. In all my 15 years I'm pretty sure I've never said no to a favor.

How often does she ask? That is the issue here.

I think for me I don't see them as favors more like my job. I get texts a few times a week to pick up dry cleaning, go to target to get xy and z. Or mail something at the post office. Pick up a starbucks gift card for someone. I don get asked to switch days but I get my start and stop time switched randomly and it just doesn't bother me that much. Like I said for me it's just my job.

OP here and none of that stuff is a part of my job (otherwise I wouldn't call the requests "favors"). I do everything directly related to my charges and anything for them. The "favors" are added on, usually at the last minute.

Again, my point is not that I cannot say "no" or that my employers don't accept "no" -- my point is that I HATE to have to say "no", I hate seeing MB so concerned when I say "no" and I have started resenting even being asked.

I guess I just think of going to the post office, hardware store, picking up dry cleaning as every nannies job unless your nf doesn't allow you to drive with their children. I view myself as a nanny who tries everyday to make my nf's life easier. If I go to the post office and pick up the dry cleaning on the way home from the park i have helped out mb and that makes me feel good and I know they appreciate me.

Again, that is part of your job - not part of mine. Again, that is why my employers and I think of those things as "favors".

I don't understand why you are being so obtuse, PP.

If you and your employers think you should do those things - great! Mine don't and I don't. Think of something that you would consider a favor and think about being asked to do that thing at least once a week. Then post back.

I never knew these would be apart of my job until mb asked me. It was never discussed or put into my contract. But I am happy do as I'm asked. I guess I'm just a helpful person.

Please stop, PP - you are embarrassing yourself at this point. Please.

The only people who should be embarrassed are the ones who have the nerve to ever even think of saying no to your employers. If I was an employer and an employee had the nerve to say no to me oh the hell they would pay. I would destroy them.

This is 2015. Employer =/= owner. An employee can refuse whatever the hell they want, and your only recourse would be to fire them. The fact that you even think you have as much as you think you do is incredibly disturbing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine ever telling a boss no. In all my 15 years I'm pretty sure I've never said no to a favor.

How often does she ask? That is the issue here.

I think for me I don't see them as favors more like my job. I get texts a few times a week to pick up dry cleaning, go to target to get xy and z. Or mail something at the post office. Pick up a starbucks gift card for someone. I don get asked to switch days but I get my start and stop time switched randomly and it just doesn't bother me that much. Like I said for me it's just my job.

OP here and none of that stuff is a part of my job (otherwise I wouldn't call the requests "favors"). I do everything directly related to my charges and anything for them. The "favors" are added on, usually at the last minute.

Again, my point is not that I cannot say "no" or that my employers don't accept "no" -- my point is that I HATE to have to say "no", I hate seeing MB so concerned when I say "no" and I have started resenting even being asked.

I guess I just think of going to the post office, hardware store, picking up dry cleaning as every nannies job unless your nf doesn't allow you to drive with their children. I view myself as a nanny who tries everyday to make my nf's life easier. If I go to the post office and pick up the dry cleaning on the way home from the park i have helped out mb and that makes me feel good and I know they appreciate me.

Again, that is part of your job - not part of mine. Again, that is why my employers and I think of those things as "favors".

I don't understand why you are being so obtuse, PP.

If you and your employers think you should do those things - great! Mine don't and I don't. Think of something that you would consider a favor and think about being asked to do that thing at least once a week. Then post back.

I never knew these would be apart of my job until mb asked me. It was never discussed or put into my contract. But I am happy do as I'm asked. I guess I'm just a helpful person.

Please stop, PP - you are embarrassing yourself at this point. Please.

The only people who should be embarrassed are the ones who have the nerve to ever even think of saying no to your employers. If I was an employer and an employee had the nerve to say no to me oh the hell they would pay. I would destroy them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine ever telling a boss no. In all my 15 years I'm pretty sure I've never said no to a favor.

How often does she ask? That is the issue here.

I think for me I don't see them as favors more like my job. I get texts a few times a week to pick up dry cleaning, go to target to get xy and z. Or mail something at the post office. Pick up a starbucks gift card for someone. I don get asked to switch days but I get my start and stop time switched randomly and it just doesn't bother me that much. Like I said for me it's just my job.

OP here and none of that stuff is a part of my job (otherwise I wouldn't call the requests "favors"). I do everything directly related to my charges and anything for them. The "favors" are added on, usually at the last minute.

Again, my point is not that I cannot say "no" or that my employers don't accept "no" -- my point is that I HATE to have to say "no", I hate seeing MB so concerned when I say "no" and I have started resenting even being asked.

I guess I just think of going to the post office, hardware store, picking up dry cleaning as every nannies job unless your nf doesn't allow you to drive with their children. I view myself as a nanny who tries everyday to make my nf's life easier. If I go to the post office and pick up the dry cleaning on the way home from the park i have helped out mb and that makes me feel good and I know they appreciate me.

Again, that is part of your job - not part of mine. Again, that is why my employers and I think of those things as "favors".

I don't understand why you are being so obtuse, PP.

If you and your employers think you should do those things - great! Mine don't and I don't. Think of something that you would consider a favor and think about being asked to do that thing at least once a week. Then post back.

I never knew these would be apart of my job until mb asked me. It was never discussed or put into my contract. But I am happy do as I'm asked. I guess I'm just a helpful person.

OMG, you are so dense!!! The inclusion on the contract was for the other poster and if you are happy to do anything that is asked then what you are being asked IS NOT A FAVOR.

Oh, Sweetie, I seriously have no clue who in the world would ever hire you to be responsible for the care of their children. All the best to you - you are not one of the brighter bulb in the chandelier!

+1 She is a bit slow. I know I could never have a nanny who operated with such confusion. Being a nanny is not an intellectually taxing profession but it does require basic comprehension skills. This nanny could not be trusted to give the correct dose of tylenol much less be able to comprehend a more serious situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine ever telling a boss no. In all my 15 years I'm pretty sure I've never said no to a favor.

How often does she ask? That is the issue here.

I think for me I don't see them as favors more like my job. I get texts a few times a week to pick up dry cleaning, go to target to get xy and z. Or mail something at the post office. Pick up a starbucks gift card for someone. I don get asked to switch days but I get my start and stop time switched randomly and it just doesn't bother me that much. Like I said for me it's just my job.

OP here and none of that stuff is a part of my job (otherwise I wouldn't call the requests "favors"). I do everything directly related to my charges and anything for them. The "favors" are added on, usually at the last minute.

Again, my point is not that I cannot say "no" or that my employers don't accept "no" -- my point is that I HATE to have to say "no", I hate seeing MB so concerned when I say "no" and I have started resenting even being asked.

I guess I just think of going to the post office, hardware store, picking up dry cleaning as every nannies job unless your nf doesn't allow you to drive with their children. I view myself as a nanny who tries everyday to make my nf's life easier. If I go to the post office and pick up the dry cleaning on the way home from the park i have helped out mb and that makes me feel good and I know they appreciate me.

Again, that is part of your job - not part of mine. Again, that is why my employers and I think of those things as "favors".

I don't understand why you are being so obtuse, PP.

If you and your employers think you should do those things - great! Mine don't and I don't. Think of something that you would consider a favor and think about being asked to do that thing at least once a week. Then post back.

I never knew these would be apart of my job until mb asked me. It was never discussed or put into my contract. But I am happy do as I'm asked. I guess I'm just a helpful person.

Please stop, PP - you are embarrassing yourself at this point. Please.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine ever telling a boss no. In all my 15 years I'm pretty sure I've never said no to a favor.

How often does she ask? That is the issue here.

I think for me I don't see them as favors more like my job. I get texts a few times a week to pick up dry cleaning, go to target to get xy and z. Or mail something at the post office. Pick up a starbucks gift card for someone. I don get asked to switch days but I get my start and stop time switched randomly and it just doesn't bother me that much. Like I said for me it's just my job.

OP here and none of that stuff is a part of my job (otherwise I wouldn't call the requests "favors"). I do everything directly related to my charges and anything for them. The "favors" are added on, usually at the last minute.

Again, my point is not that I cannot say "no" or that my employers don't accept "no" -- my point is that I HATE to have to say "no", I hate seeing MB so concerned when I say "no" and I have started resenting even being asked.

I guess I just think of going to the post office, hardware store, picking up dry cleaning as every nannies job unless your nf doesn't allow you to drive with their children. I view myself as a nanny who tries everyday to make my nf's life easier. If I go to the post office and pick up the dry cleaning on the way home from the park i have helped out mb and that makes me feel good and I know they appreciate me.

Again, that is part of your job - not part of mine. Again, that is why my employers and I think of those things as "favors".

I don't understand why you are being so obtuse, PP.

If you and your employers think you should do those things - great! Mine don't and I don't. Think of something that you would consider a favor and think about being asked to do that thing at least once a week. Then post back.

I never knew these would be apart of my job until mb asked me. It was never discussed or put into my contract. But I am happy do as I'm asked. I guess I'm just a helpful person.

OMG, you are so dense!!! The inclusion on the contract was for the other poster and if you are happy to do anything that is asked then what you are being asked IS NOT A FAVOR.

Oh, Sweetie, I seriously have no clue who in the world would ever hire you to be responsible for the care of their children. All the best to you - you are not one of the brighter bulb in the chandelier!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine ever telling a boss no. In all my 15 years I'm pretty sure I've never said no to a favor.

How often does she ask? That is the issue here.

I think for me I don't see them as favors more like my job. I get texts a few times a week to pick up dry cleaning, go to target to get xy and z. Or mail something at the post office. Pick up a starbucks gift card for someone. I don get asked to switch days but I get my start and stop time switched randomly and it just doesn't bother me that much. Like I said for me it's just my job.

OP here and none of that stuff is a part of my job (otherwise I wouldn't call the requests "favors"). I do everything directly related to my charges and anything for them. The "favors" are added on, usually at the last minute.

Again, my point is not that I cannot say "no" or that my employers don't accept "no" -- my point is that I HATE to have to say "no", I hate seeing MB so concerned when I say "no" and I have started resenting even being asked.

I guess I just think of going to the post office, hardware store, picking up dry cleaning as every nannies job unless your nf doesn't allow you to drive with their children. I view myself as a nanny who tries everyday to make my nf's life easier. If I go to the post office and pick up the dry cleaning on the way home from the park i have helped out mb and that makes me feel good and I know they appreciate me.

Again, that is part of your job - not part of mine. Again, that is why my employers and I think of those things as "favors".

I don't understand why you are being so obtuse, PP.

If you and your employers think you should do those things - great! Mine don't and I don't. Think of something that you would consider a favor and think about being asked to do that thing at least once a week. Then post back.

I never knew these would be apart of my job until mb asked me. It was never discussed or put into my contract. But I am happy do as I'm asked. I guess I'm just a helpful person.