Anonymous wrote:I believe the saying goes 'Not all men. Yes all women'.

I've had plenty of wonderful male bosses who I hugged on occasion. I've also had male bosses who gave me the creeps and who I wouldn't have liked to be in the lift with on my own. The difference is that we as women have to be able to voice our displeasure when people, most exclusively men, treat our bodies as their personal playground. We're taught to believe that it is rude to say no and that an advance is a compliment and it is all harmless fun. It is not true. My body, my rules. You don't have to scream rape if you don't like the way a DB puts his hand around you, but you are completely in your right to state calmly that you don't like the way your boss is touching you and ask him to stop, thank you very much. It does not mean you hate all men. It means this particular man is not behaving the way he should.

We have to assert ourselves, and though we've been brainwashed into thinking we shouldn't because it makes us ungrateful rude shrews who can't take a compliment, it is in our hands to teach men that we are own people and deserve the same bodily autonomy and respect that their male friends, coworkers and employees get. /soapbox

What an eloquent way of saying exactly what needed to be said.

Regardless of the DB in question's intentions, OP felt uncomfortable. She should not feel any shame for that and would be well within her boundaries to state it without fearing retaliation.

I believe the saying goes 'Not all men. Yes all women'.

I've had plenty of wonderful male bosses who I hugged on occasion. I've also had male bosses who gave me the creeps and who I wouldn't have liked to be in the lift with on my own. The difference is that we as women have to be able to voice our displeasure when people, most exclusively men, treat our bodies as their personal playground. We're taught to believe that it is rude to say no and that an advance is a compliment and it is all harmless fun. It is not true. My body, my rules. You don't have to scream rape if you don't like the way a DB puts his hand around you, but you are completely in your right to state calmly that you don't like the way your boss is touching you and ask him to stop, thank you very much. It does not mean you hate all men. It means this particular man is not behaving the way he should.

We have to assert ourselves, and though we've been brainwashed into thinking we shouldn't because it makes us ungrateful rude shrews who can't take a compliment, it is in our hands to teach men that we are own people and deserve the same bodily autonomy and respect that their male friends, coworkers and employees get. /soapbox

Anonymous wrote:My husband would NEVER touch our nanny. I gave her a big hug after we presented her with her xmas bonus and raise, and my husband just smiled and told her to have a great xmas. That is a pretty obvious one. I'm really sorry you have to deal with this OP. Honestly, I would find a new job.

I'm a nanny and I have hugged my boss when the job ended to say goodbye. I have also hugged goodbye when I see them. For example, I saw an old boss in Starbucks. We hugged. More on his initiation but I was fine with it. I recently met with my former nanny family. I hugged the mom hello and then hugged them both when I left. It was always a quick hug with both and I have never felt uncomfortable.

While I agree that OPs boss was crossing the line, I don't agree all male employers are looking to cop a feel. A relative passed away and my current DB rubbed my arm and I saw it as nothing more than a sign of support. I have never felt uncomfortable with a male employer and I believe that is because they are all upstanding men. I'm also classified as attractive by most men. While my male employers have glimpsed at my chest or maybe looked at me, I don't care. It's human nature to find a person attractive. I tell my MB's all the time that they look nice in a certain outfit. I've never been sued for sexual harassment.

I understand your husband avoids contact with the nanny for various reasons but please know that not every nanny will think your husband is hitting on them if he gives them a quick hug ( with you in sight).

Nanny needs to grow up. This is so absurd.

No. 1 reason why employers should give references to domestic employees.

Anonymous wrote:I know this seems a little odd but whenever DB walks me to the door when leaving he put his hand on the middle of my back. It does make me uncomfortable. I have never had a boss do this ( experienced that with bf's). I don't believe it's sexual but can't be sure. He has said a sexual remark about me " wanting to bang something hard" with a hammer, asks about men I'm dating, " flexes" or does push ups in front of me, and often checks me out. I don't know if he is just being a guy and its nothing. Either way I do feel uncomfortable but I like this position and I don't want to make a fuss about it.

He's crossed the line. Be careful if he thinks he can make moves on you,he will. Leave,start looking for another job. Safety 1st,respect 1a&2 many ppl want disrespect u or their family like DB aka dumb bastard.

My husband would NEVER touch our nanny. I gave her a big hug after we presented her with her xmas bonus and raise, and my husband just smiled and told her to have a great xmas. That is a pretty obvious one. I'm really sorry you have to deal with this OP. Honestly, I would find a new job.

Anonymous wrote:As a wife and mom I'd want to know if my husband was sexually harassing my nanny. If he's looking/trying to cheat I'd want to know about it. If his behavior is innocent I'd still want to know so that it could be corrected and not cause us to loose the next nanny.

I'm not OP buy I was sexually harrassed by my boss and a few of his friends when they came over one night. I told MB and quit that Monday. She accused me of lying and posted hurtful things about me on a nanny site. Most nannies who go through this are afraid because most MB's do not want to believe their husband would do such a thing.

As a wife and mom I'd want to know if my husband was sexually harassing my nanny. If he's looking/trying to cheat I'd want to know about it. If his behavior is innocent I'd still want to know so that it could be corrected and not cause us to loose the next nanny.

Anonymous wrote:I'm op. I have decided to quit this position with Friday being my last day. DH did the back thing again and I politely explained I am uncomfortable with that. He looked like I offended him. He did it again the next day but then stated " oh I forgot you don't like that." I told him " no I do not. I have given you a warning that I do not feel comfortable and with you doing it again, I will have to resign by the end of the week. He laughed but I was serious. I told MB the next day.

LMFAO

You should have told him the first time it happened that you did not like him touching you and you should also jave told your MB what he did.

Anonymous wrote:OP get over it. You are not being sexually assaulted. Is this really the first time you have been around a guy? Grow up, move on, and be happy.

Yes, OP. Didn't you know that as a woman your body is property for others to get amusement from. You have no right getting upset!

OP get over it. You are not being sexually assaulted. Is this really the first time you have been around a guy? Grow up, move on, and be happy.

I'd knee him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this seems a little odd but whenever DB walks me to the door when leaving he put his hand on the middle of my back. It does make me uncomfortable. I have never had a boss do this ( experienced that with bf's). I don't believe it's sexual but can't be sure. He has said a sexual remark about me " wanting to bang something hard" with a hammer, asks about men I'm dating, " flexes" or does push ups in front of me, and often checks me out. I don't know if he is just being a guy and its nothing. Either way I do feel uncomfortable but I like this position and I don't want to make a fuss about it.

Please women it's your body and if you are not comfortable tell him. There is no hesitation for this kind of situations. I am a nanny and I don't like or let anybody touch me beside my husband.

You must not be a very good nanny if this is true.....

What do you mean not a very good nanny if this is true. If you sleep with your boss so that makes you a good nanny. I think you must be a creepy person .Shame on you .

Because you can't be a good nanny working with children if no one but your husband can touch you. What a cold and unloving nanny. What's difficult to figure out?

Do you even read the topic it's about the dad touching the nanny. We are not talking about children .you are pathetic and I think you have difficulty to figure out the issues here. Come on if you are OK touching by your bosses I don't have anything to say Good Luck.