Anonymous
Post 02/04/2014 14:22     Subject: When parents can't pay.
I'm glad you found a new job, and I hope he will be able to make up your back wages. What happened to his partner? Isn't she (he?) on the hook for child support to help pay you?
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2014 08:51     Subject: When parents can't pay.
I have found a new job that will start in March. Till then, I will stick it out here with DB, so that I will have *some* income.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2014 22:57     Subject: When parents can't pay.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I agree that you're allowing yourself to be taken advantage of and it is putting you in jeopardy of never being fully paid. But, it sounds like you agreed to some level of this when you accepted the position, and it is fitting in w/ whatever your unique schedule needs are.

Perhaps you could talk w/ DB and say that you really are finding it hard to deal with working without being paid for so long. You assumed it would be for the short-term, as he discussed, but you are now going on several months and are no closer to being caught up. Ask to work out a plan to gradually catch up if need be, with a specific date to be fully caught up. Maybe something like "employer will add an addition 3 days to every paycheck, until such time as compensation is fully caught up with time worked, or no later than March 31, 2014." Or something along those lines. But give him some deadlines and make it clear that this can't go on forever. (Unless it can, or you won't actually leave, in which case you should just resign yourself to it.)


I would like to broach the subject with DB, however, I feel like it would be pushy. Seeing as we previously discussed this. Also, I know that he is really hard up for money, and it isn't that he likes having to struggle. How can I bring this up without sounding whiny to him?


You're sounding whiny to us


Okay... then be helpful.

I am not saying these things to DB, but venting here.


I think we've been very helpful. You ignore the advice so you can continue to play victim.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2014 22:50     Subject: When parents can't pay.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I agree that you're allowing yourself to be taken advantage of and it is putting you in jeopardy of never being fully paid. But, it sounds like you agreed to some level of this when you accepted the position, and it is fitting in w/ whatever your unique schedule needs are.

Perhaps you could talk w/ DB and say that you really are finding it hard to deal with working without being paid for so long. You assumed it would be for the short-term, as he discussed, but you are now going on several months and are no closer to being caught up. Ask to work out a plan to gradually catch up if need be, with a specific date to be fully caught up. Maybe something like "employer will add an addition 3 days to every paycheck, until such time as compensation is fully caught up with time worked, or no later than March 31, 2014." Or something along those lines. But give him some deadlines and make it clear that this can't go on forever. (Unless it can, or you won't actually leave, in which case you should just resign yourself to it.)


I would like to broach the subject with DB, however, I feel like it would be pushy. Seeing as we previously discussed this. Also, I know that he is really hard up for money, and it isn't that he likes having to struggle. How can I bring this up without sounding whiny to him?


You're sounding whiny to us


Okay... then be helpful.

I am not saying these things to DB, but venting here.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2014 21:36     Subject: When parents can't pay.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I agree that you're allowing yourself to be taken advantage of and it is putting you in jeopardy of never being fully paid. But, it sounds like you agreed to some level of this when you accepted the position, and it is fitting in w/ whatever your unique schedule needs are.

Perhaps you could talk w/ DB and say that you really are finding it hard to deal with working without being paid for so long. You assumed it would be for the short-term, as he discussed, but you are now going on several months and are no closer to being caught up. Ask to work out a plan to gradually catch up if need be, with a specific date to be fully caught up. Maybe something like "employer will add an addition 3 days to every paycheck, until such time as compensation is fully caught up with time worked, or no later than March 31, 2014." Or something along those lines. But give him some deadlines and make it clear that this can't go on forever. (Unless it can, or you won't actually leave, in which case you should just resign yourself to it.)


I would like to broach the subject with DB, however, I feel like it would be pushy. Seeing as we previously discussed this. Also, I know that he is really hard up for money, and it isn't that he likes having to struggle. How can I bring this up without sounding whiny to him?


You're sounding whiny to us
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2014 21:33     Subject: When parents can't pay.
he needs to put his kid in public school if he's so hard up for money.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2014 20:58     Subject: When parents can't pay.
Anonymous wrote:OP, I agree that you're allowing yourself to be taken advantage of and it is putting you in jeopardy of never being fully paid. But, it sounds like you agreed to some level of this when you accepted the position, and it is fitting in w/ whatever your unique schedule needs are.

Perhaps you could talk w/ DB and say that you really are finding it hard to deal with working without being paid for so long. You assumed it would be for the short-term, as he discussed, but you are now going on several months and are no closer to being caught up. Ask to work out a plan to gradually catch up if need be, with a specific date to be fully caught up. Maybe something like "employer will add an addition 3 days to every paycheck, until such time as compensation is fully caught up with time worked, or no later than March 31, 2014." Or something along those lines. But give him some deadlines and make it clear that this can't go on forever. (Unless it can, or you won't actually leave, in which case you should just resign yourself to it.)


I would like to broach the subject with DB, however, I feel like it would be pushy. Seeing as we previously discussed this. Also, I know that he is really hard up for money, and it isn't that he likes having to struggle. How can I bring this up without sounding whiny to him?
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2014 15:45     Subject: When parents can't pay.
OP, I agree that you're allowing yourself to be taken advantage of and it is putting you in jeopardy of never being fully paid. But, it sounds like you agreed to some level of this when you accepted the position, and it is fitting in w/ whatever your unique schedule needs are.

Perhaps you could talk w/ DB and say that you really are finding it hard to deal with working without being paid for so long. You assumed it would be for the short-term, as he discussed, but you are now going on several months and are no closer to being caught up. Ask to work out a plan to gradually catch up if need be, with a specific date to be fully caught up. Maybe something like "employer will add an addition 3 days to every paycheck, until such time as compensation is fully caught up with time worked, or no later than March 31, 2014." Or something along those lines. But give him some deadlines and make it clear that this can't go on forever. (Unless it can, or you won't actually leave, in which case you should just resign yourself to it.)
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2014 12:23     Subject: When parents can't pay.
Anonymous wrote:Not asking anyone to feel sorry for me.

My last employer's son started school and they could not afford to pay me and private school tuition. After searching for a while, this position was the only one that I could get (that worked with my schedule etc.)

Getting paid infrequently is better than not getting paid period.

Also, I discussed this with DB. I said "okay" to his terms at the time. Wouldn't it be a shitty thing for me to do, if I now said "its not working."


So you keep looking for a new position that fits your needs then quit. No it wouldn't be shitty because this is basically a favor you're doing him, what's shitty is him continuing to abuse the situation. Also, stop acting like this is the only position you can get. You can always more into a different field for awhile. hey, if you like getting treated like shits your choice but maybe you should stop posting about your ridiculousness.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2014 11:45     Subject: When parents can't pay.
Not asking anyone to feel sorry for me.

My last employer's son started school and they could not afford to pay me and private school tuition. After searching for a while, this position was the only one that I could get (that worked with my schedule etc.)

Getting paid infrequently is better than not getting paid period.

Also, I discussed this with DB. I said "okay" to his terms at the time. Wouldn't it be a shitty thing for me to do, if I now said "its not working."
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2014 05:06     Subject: When parents can't pay.
The best nanny employer relationships are just that: employment relationships. He is in the wrong for asking you to work for free, and you are too sucked into the personal side of things to see that. So he is getting divorced, or has other issues- not your problem. Not a nanny but I cannot imagine my employer going belly up and still asking us to work .
This is a job. Period.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2014 04:55     Subject: When parents can't pay.
Anonymous wrote:Op here,

I found a pt position doing occasional sitting jobs. As it is now, waiting to get paid is a little rough for me. In addition to that, DB is only paying for 3 weeks worth of nannying every 5 weeks. Therefore he is always still owing me back payments.

He said he should be getting to a better financial place, but I do not know how long I can stick this out.


You're an idiot and getting what you deserve. 5 pages of people warning you this would happen but you continued working for free anyway. No one's feeling sorry for you.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2014 18:56     Subject: When parents can't pay.
Op here,

I found a pt position doing occasional sitting jobs. As it is now, waiting to get paid is a little rough for me. In addition to that, DB is only paying for 3 weeks worth of nannying every 5 weeks. Therefore he is always still owing me back payments.

He said he should be getting to a better financial place, but I do not know how long I can stick this out.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2014 01:42     Subject: When parents can't pay.
Very few people can/will go five or six weeks between paychecks. I would tell DB that you must be paid at least once a month.