Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I think I'm the boss. Maybe the point is that it's my house, my family, my money paying your salary, and my rules. Maybe the point is you accepted this offer from me, for this job, working for someone you've had ample opportunity to get to know. If you don't like it you're free to leave but no one forced you to accept the offer after all the time you've invested in getting to know me as a potential employer.

A good nanny won't take your bullshit and micromanaging and will drop you like a bad habit. You'll be left with people who can't find anything better. A good nanny can ALWAYS find something better.
Personally, I would see you coming from a mile away. I have amazingly accurate a**wipe detector.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, then, I suppose it depends on what you think the goals are. Here's a goal: I want my children to have healthy eating habits. So, yes, I will "micromanage" a nanny who insists on feeding my children jelly sandwiches for lunch.

Or, how about this? My goal is for my children to have appropriate social experiences. So, when you insist on taking my child on playdates where the children are wildly different ages, I don't know the other family, and the only real reason for the playdate is that you know the other nanny, you had better believe I am going to say you can't take my child until I discuss with the other family whether they are open to this playdate given the huge disparity in ages. And when you take my kid anyway and tell my kid to lie to me about going there (three year olds are not great at lying under direction), then you had better believe I am going to fire you.

The two nannies I have had with the biggest "don't tell me how to do my job; I'm a professional" attitudes are the two in the examples above. I fired both of them.

Respect is a two-way street. The OP needs to learn that.

Or you could simply learn what actually makes a top-notch professional nanny.

She often knows about optional childhood nutrition. Personally, I can usually tell you which nutrients your child may be lacking, based on presenting symptoms. Parents have hired me to consult and to help solve eating problems. (I've been actively studying nutrition for decades.) Once I had a pediatrician recommend hydrocortisone shots for a child's skin condition. I asked him and the parents if we could let me try something, and reevaluate in a week. My idea was successful and no shots were needed.

I am a master at developing children's social experiences. I have decades of extensive training and experience with understanding each child's temperament. You can either work against nature, or with nature. I prefer to see what gifts each child has, and work to support whatever it is, that will enhance the child's unique experience within the greater social sphere. When I work with a group of children, that is exactly why parents ask to have their child participate.

I also help parents determine what kind of care/school might be best for their child and how to maximize its benefits and overcome any challenges. Sleep is another topic of concern. You could say that pretty much anything within my area of expertise, I can help solve. I believe my success comes from a profound respect for each child in my care, and for each parent who seeks honest support in providing the best possible upbringing of their child. Being a parent myself, I have a deep respect for the important task of parenting and the sometimes overwhelming associated responsibilities. I value the nuclear family, but for most of us, it also takes a village to do our work as parents in the best possible way.

I am no more accomplished in my field, than you are in your chosen field of study. Early childhood study and practice just happen to be my lifelong passion, and am most fortunate to have had incredible teachers (the children and their families) who have entrusted me with their care, not only in their homes, but in my own home-based half day programs, and in well-established private schools. I've been honored to have been interviewed and quoted by the press, and featured in a discussion on NPR discussing certain issues related to children. And my comments weren't even about my specialty area.

I am here to help where I might be able to, and to continue my path of learning about the needs of children and their families, and how we can mutually support each other. No one does it all, nor has it all. We all are interdependent.

I believe that parents who respect nannies as partners, will receive the most dedicated and tireless care for their children. Good nannies seek to learn how to provide the best possible care for your children. That takes time to know your child, interest, patience, consistency, continuing education and countless other skills. What it requires from you, my fellow parents, is respect for the job, and some indication of value to you. We require your acknowledgement and support for our dedication to your children. We need to know that you appreciate what we are striving to do for your children. We also need you to do your share in this partnership.

Years ago, my first employers made me feel like I had the most important job in the world. Every "request" they might have had, came in a diolog, asking me what i thought. Everyday they showed unbelievable respect for my work with their child. Even though I was only in my early twenties, they always introduced me to people as "Miss (last name)", never by my first name. Today when they introduce me to people, they say my name, and add "who helped (our child) become who she is today". And yes, their child has become an eloquent and brilliant public speaker, who is widely sought after, for her expert opinions in her field.

Good care is not something "anyone can do". To treat it as such, is to violate the vital importance of our work. It is degrading and dehuminizing, and will eventually diminish the quality of the care, and turn away good nannies. The solution is not to keep getting replacement nannies. The "high turnover" reputation of daycares is why many families avoid daycares. The best schools and daycares are the ones that have lots of teachers who have been there "forever". If your nannies are also "high turnover", not much is gained that will benefit your child.

It used to be that if you had a "nanny", your child could be assured if receiving the best possible (paid) care available. It's most unfortunate how our society devalues the care of young children, the most vulnerable little ones who often can't yet speak. What drives parents to treat their caregivers as nothing more than servants who should obey whimsical commands? Were these parents themselves neglected as little children, and can't help themselves? I don't know, but we can see on this forum the constant resentments whirling and the steady stream of insults going back and forth. My bottom line is, if the hard work of childrearing doesn't get done right, we all pay the price. Children know if the closest adults in their lives are on the same team, with the same goals, or not.

Anonymous wrote:Well if I am going to be paying someone a high salary, then by all means I am going to expect her to do as I say or she can go find another family to work for. Plain and simple.

Anonymous wrote:For the posters above, I'm the MB who knows my nanny is not the one posting on this thread and challenging me.

I know for the following reasons:

- I happen to know where she is with the kids this afternoon and it wouldn't enable her to be online.
- I know her well - including how she expresses herself, how she feels about her job, and how she is feeling about her employment with us at the moment. I am sure some will scoff at that, but we have a strong relationship with our nanny and we know what things she wishes could change and what things she most values. Her concerns don't match those being expressed here, nor does her level of satisfaction in the job.
- I know because English is not her first language. I am very well acquainted with her writing style and there is no way she would (or could) express herself the way the poster in question has.

Why on earth I'm bothering to get sucked in to this and justify myself? That is a question I can't answer as effectively.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, then, I suppose it depends on what you think the goals are. Here's a goal: I want my children to have healthy eating habits. So, yes, I will "micromanage" a nanny who insists on feeding my children jelly sandwiches for lunch.

Or, how about this? My goal is for my children to have appropriate social experiences. So, when you insist on taking my child on playdates where the children are wildly different ages, I don't know the other family, and the only real reason for the playdate is that you know the other nanny, you had better believe I am going to say you can't take my child until I discuss with the other family whether they are open to this playdate given the huge disparity in ages. And when you take my kid anyway and tell my kid to lie to me about going there (three year olds are not great at lying under direction), then you had better believe I am going to fire you.

The two nannies I have had with the biggest "don't tell me how to do my job; I'm a professional" attitudes are the two in the examples above. I fired both of them.

Respect is a two-way street. The OP needs to learn that.

Or you could simply learn what actually makes a top-notch professional nanny.

She often knows about optional childhood nutrition. Personally, I can usually tell you which nutrients your child may be lacking, based on presenting symptoms. Parents have hired me to consult and to help solve eating problems. (I've been actively studying nutrition for decades.) Once I had a pediatrician recommend hydrocortisone shots for a child's skin condition. I asked him and the parents if we could let me try something, and reevaluate in a week. My idea was successful and no shots were needed.

I am a master at developing children's social experiences. I have decades of extensive training and experience with understanding each child's temperament. You can either work against nature, or with nature. I prefer to see what gifts each child has, and work to support whatever it is, that will enhance the child's unique experience within the greater social sphere. When I work with a group of children, that is exactly why parents ask to have their child participate.

I also help parents determine what kind of care/school might be best for their child and how to maximize its benefits and overcome any challenges. Sleep is another topic of concern. You could say that pretty much anything within my area of expertise, I can help solve. I believe my success comes from a profound respect for each child in my care, and for each parent who seeks honest support in providing the best possible upbringing of their child. Being a parent myself, I have a deep respect for the important task of parenting and the sometimes overwhelming associated responsibilities. I value the nuclear family, but for most of us, it also takes a village to do our work as parents in the best possible way.

I am no more accomplished in my field, than you are in your chosen field of study. Early childhood study and practice just happen to be my lifelong passion, and am most fortunate to have had incredible teachers (the children and their families) who have entrusted me with their care, not only in their homes, but in my own home-based half day programs, and in well-established private schools. I've been honored to have been interviewed and quoted by the press, and featured in a discussion on NPR discussing certain issues related to children. And my comments weren't even about my specialty area.

I am here to help where I might be able to, and to continue my path of learning about the needs of children and their families, and how we can mutually support each other. No one does it all, nor has it all. We all are interdependent.

I believe that parents who respect nannies as partners, will receive the most dedicated and tireless care for their children. Good nannies seek to learn how to provide the best possible care for your children. That takes time to know your child, interest, patience, consistency, continuing education and countless other skills. What it requires from you, my fellow parents, is respect for the job, and some indication of value to you. We require your acknowledgement and support for our dedication to your children. We need to know that you appreciate what we are striving to do for your children. We also need you to do your share in this partnership.

Years ago, my first employers made me feel like I had the most important job in the world. Every "request" they might have had, came in a diolog, asking me what i thought. Everyday they showed unbelievable respect for my work with their child. Even though I was only in my early twenties, they always introduced me to people as "Miss (last name)", never by my first name. Today when they introduce me to people, they say my name, and add "who helped (our child) become who she is today". And yes, their child has become an eloquent and brilliant public speaker, who is widely sought after, for her expert opinions in her field.

Good care is not something "anyone can do". To treat it as such, is to violate the vital importance of our work. It is degrading and dehuminizing, and will eventually diminish the quality of the care, and turn away good nannies. The solution is not to keep getting replacement nannies. The "high turnover" reputation of daycares is why many families avoid daycares. The best schools and daycares are the ones that have lots of teachers who have been there "forever". If your nannies are also "high turnover", not much is gained that will benefit your child.

It used to be that if you had a "nanny", your child could be assured if receiving the best possible (paid) care available. It's most unfortunate how our society devalues the care of young children, the most vulnerable little ones who often can't yet speak. What drives parents to treat their caregivers as nothing more than servants who should obey whimsical commands? Were these parents themselves neglected as little children, and can't help themselves? I don't know, but we can see on this forum the constant resentments whirling and the steady stream of insults going back and forth. My bottom line is, if the hard work of childrearing doesn't get done right, we all pay the price. Children know if the closest adults in their lives are on the same team, with the same goals, or not.

Anonymous wrote:Well, then, I suppose it depends on what you think the goals are. Here's a goal: I want my children to have healthy eating habits. So, yes, I will "micromanage" a nanny who insists on feeding my children jelly sandwiches for lunch.

Or, how about this? My goal is for my children to have appropriate social experiences. So, when you insist on taking my child on playdates where the children are wildly different ages, I don't know the other family, and the only real reason for the playdate is that you know the other nanny, you had better believe I am going to say you can't take my child until I discuss with the other family whether they are open to this playdate given the huge disparity in ages. And when you take my kid anyway and tell my kid to lie to me about going there (three year olds are not great at lying under direction), then you had better believe I am going to fire you.

The two nannies I have had with the biggest "don't tell me how to do my job; I'm a professional" attitudes are the two in the examples above. I fired both of them.

Respect is a two-way street. The OP needs to learn that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You have no idea. I could be your nanny for all you know.

You couldn't be mine. I actually do know for certain, thankfully.

No you don't.

I actually do. Your insistence is pretty hilarious, especially in the context of who our nanny is.

Unless you've placed a homing device in her ass (which wouldn't surprise me), you have her locked in a room without Internet service or you are employed by the NSA, you don't know.

Yes, my darling simpleton I do. But you go right ahead with your all-knowing delusions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You have no idea. I could be your nanny for all you know.

You couldn't be mine. I actually do know for certain, thankfully.

No you don't.

I actually do. Your insistence is pretty hilarious, especially in the context of who our nanny is.

Unless you've placed a homing device in her ass (which wouldn't surprise me), you have her locked in a room without Internet service or you are employed by the NSA, you don't know.

Yes, my darling simpleton I do. But you go right ahead with your all-knowing delusions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You have no idea. I could be your nanny for all you know.

You couldn't be mine. I actually do know for certain, thankfully.

No you don't.

I actually do. Your insistence is pretty hilarious, especially in the context of who our nanny is.

Unless you've placed a homing device in her ass (which wouldn't surprise me), you have her locked in a room without Internet service or you are employed by the NSA, you don't know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You have no idea. I could be your nanny for all you know.

You couldn't be mine. I actually do know for certain, thankfully.

No you don't.

I actually do. Your insistence is pretty hilarious, especially in the context of who our nanny is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I think I'm the boss. Maybe the point is that it's my house, my family, my money paying your salary, and my rules. Maybe the point is you accepted this offer from me, for this job, working for someone you've had ample opportunity to get to know. If you don't like it you're free to leave but no one forced you to accept the offer after all the time you've invested in getting to know me as a potential employer.

I'm sorry, I find statements like these funny. I'm a nanny and I don't really think of you as my boss. You're not better than me, you're not above me, or whatever, and you're not some hot shot CEO at a big company. I don't work for you, I work with you. We are in a mutually beneficial business relationship, you are my customer and client, and I make my own rules and set my own rates and standards. If you don't like it, you are free to do business elsewhere, as am I. I think a lot of MBs would do well to get off their "I'm the boss" high horse, stop thinking you're better than us/own us, and try to find someone you can work with, not someone who makes you feel like the boss.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You have no idea. I could be your nanny for all you know.

You couldn't be mine. I actually do know for certain, thankfully.

No you don't.