If you're a nanny and you expect meals to be provided, tell the families up front and work to get the perk in your contracts. Clearly, there is no norm so it's not wise to assume this generous perk. If you're unable or unwilling to bring your lunch and snacks, make sure you make this clear because there's no point in wasting each other's time. Solved!

If you don't want the nanny to touch your food, just tell her up front, maybe even on the phone when you first speak together. Clearly some nannies have issues with this line of thinking, so there's no point in wasting each other's time. Solved!

I am a nanny and I bring my own lunches. I may have an occasional snack. I am paid well enough to provide my own food. I am provided food on my occasional babysitting job, though it pays less. I do not expect my employers to provide food, though we do occasionally share things. If you are paid well, I do not understand this request. If you are paid under $15/hr, I do understand it.

It is also my experience that most families with nannies want to share their food. It seems to me there is one vocal person here who prefers a very different sort of relationship with the nanny. If her nanny is happy with happy with it, that's fine for them

Actually, you're wrong. There are many posters who choose not to provide their nannies with free food or a "food stipend". They all have excellent points. It is interesting to me that when you failed to be convincing as a "human rights" issue, you changed tactics and decided to try to make it about "sharing" food and about the "relationship" with this mythical "family member". You also tried to pretend to be an MB, which I am certain is a lie.

Here are the facts. Nannies are employees. They are not family, although most of us care for nannies as we care for our own. Nannies are adults. Being provided meals on the job is a perk. You want the perk? Negotiate for it. Be prepared to take a lower rate to compensate for it. Otherwise, do what everyone else does and pack your lunch and snacks. Be grateful you can make a lunch when you forget, because the rest of us are out of luck and can't just make a free lunch from someone else's kitchen when we forget.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
11:21, it isn't the practice at ANY job for an employee to do light housekeeping, other than domestic employees. I can bring my lunch, have it delivered or go out to restaurant for lunch. Nannies are not free to do this. Comparing nannies to ANY other job is apples and oranges. No matter how you try to justify it, you are still cheap.


This logic is so bizarre to me. Your nanny is confined to your house during her entire shift and is unable to pack a lunch or have something delivered? Really? If this is the case, there is something wrong with one of you (you for forbidding her from leaving the house or her for not being a capable enough adult to plan her meals ahead).

Exactly. I like to think my child's caregiver is smart enough to plan and pay for her own meals like the rest of the adult world.

It has nothing to do with my nanny being capable or smart enough, of course she is!!! I think it is just part of being with my family and common courtesy to have my nanny be at home with my children and provide her food. I would never think twice about it! I think we need to agree to disagree. Among my friends and acquaintances who have nannies, we have talked about it and it is the norm to invite our nannies to help themselves to any food in the house just as a family member would. I completely disagree with your stance and that is ok, but you cannot say your logic is the norm, because I truly do not believe it is and you have no basis to back that statement. I truly believe the norm is providing food for the nanny while she is in your home during meal hours. It's just the nature of that job. I love our nanny like family and it would be very weird any different!!

It is also my experience that most families with nannies want to share their food. It seems to me there is one vocal person here who prefers a very different sort of relationship with the nanny. If her nanny is happy with happy with it, that's fine for them.

+1 I have also found most families I know prefer to provide food for their nanny and offer to add their nannie's favorites to their grocery list as they would their own. This is how I do things as well.. To each their own opinion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
11:21, it isn't the practice at ANY job for an employee to do light housekeeping, other than domestic employees. I can bring my lunch, have it delivered or go out to restaurant for lunch. Nannies are not free to do this. Comparing nannies to ANY other job is apples and oranges. No matter how you try to justify it, you are still cheap.


This logic is so bizarre to me. Your nanny is confined to your house during her entire shift and is unable to pack a lunch or have something delivered? Really? If this is the case, there is something wrong with one of you (you for forbidding her from leaving the house or her for not being a capable enough adult to plan her meals ahead).

Exactly. I like to think my child's caregiver is smart enough to plan and pay for her own meals like the rest of the adult world.

It has nothing to do with my nanny being capable or smart enough, of course she is!!! I think it is just part of being with my family and common courtesy to have my nanny be at home with my children and provide her food. I would never think twice about it! I think we need to agree to disagree. Among my friends and acquaintances who have nannies, we have talked about it and it is the norm to invite our nannies to help themselves to any food in the house just as a family member would. I completely disagree with your stance and that is ok, but you cannot say your logic is the norm, because I truly do not believe it is and you have no basis to back that statement. I truly believe the norm is providing food for the nanny while she is in your home during meal hours. It's just the nature of that job. I love our nanny like family and it would be very weird any different!!

It is also my experience that most families with nannies want to share their food. It seems to me there is one vocal person here who prefers a very different sort of relationship with the nanny. If her nanny is happy with happy with it, that's fine for them.

Please excuse my distracted typo.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
11:21, it isn't the practice at ANY job for an employee to do light housekeeping, other than domestic employees. I can bring my lunch, have it delivered or go out to restaurant for lunch. Nannies are not free to do this. Comparing nannies to ANY other job is apples and oranges. No matter how you try to justify it, you are still cheap.


This logic is so bizarre to me. Your nanny is confined to your house during her entire shift and is unable to pack a lunch or have something delivered? Really? If this is the case, there is something wrong with one of you (you for forbidding her from leaving the house or her for not being a capable enough adult to plan her meals ahead).

Exactly. I like to think my child's caregiver is smart enough to plan and pay for her own meals like the rest of the adult world.

It has nothing to do with my nanny being capable or smart enough, of course she is!!! I think it is just part of being with my family and common courtesy to have my nanny be at home with my children and provide her food. I would never think twice about it! I think we need to agree to disagree. Among my friends and acquaintances who have nannies, we have talked about it and it is the norm to invite our nannies to help themselves to any food in the house just as a family member would. I completely disagree with your stance and that is ok, but you cannot say your logic is the norm, because I truly do not believe it is and you have no basis to back that statement. I truly believe the norm is providing food for the nanny while she is in your home during meal hours. It's just the nature of that job. I love our nanny like family and it would be very weird any different!!

It is also my experience that most families with nannies want to share their food. It seems to me there is one vocal person here who prefers a very different sort of relationship with the nanny. If her nanny is happy with happy with it, that's fine for them.

Anonymous wrote:11:21, it isn't the practice at ANY job for an employee to do light housekeeping, other than domestic employees. I can bring my lunch, have it delivered or go out to restaurant for lunch. Nannies are not free to do this. Comparing nannies to ANY other job is apples and oranges. No matter how you try to justify it, you are still cheap.

Please explain to me why a nanny is unable to bring her own lunch, have it delivered, or go out to a restaurant for lunch? Let's all agree that telling your nanny she is literally not allowed to leave the house ever, store food in your house, have food delivered, ever a single time set foot in a restaurant on the clock, or touch a morsel of your own food or drink is not ok.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
11:21, it isn't the practice at ANY job for an employee to do light housekeeping, other than domestic employees. I can bring my lunch, have it delivered or go out to restaurant for lunch. Nannies are not free to do this. Comparing nannies to ANY other job is apples and oranges. No matter how you try to justify it, you are still cheap.


This logic is so bizarre to me. Your nanny is confined to your house during her entire shift and is unable to pack a lunch or have something delivered? Really? If this is the case, there is something wrong with one of you (you for forbidding her from leaving the house or her for not being a capable enough adult to plan her meals ahead).

Exactly. I like to think my child's caregiver is smart enough to plan and pay for her own meals like the rest of the adult world.

It has nothing to do with my nanny being capable or smart enough, of course she is!!! I think it is just part of being with my family and common courtesy to have my nanny be at home with my children and provide her food. I would never think twice about it! I think we need to agree to disagree. Among my friends and acquaintances who have nannies, we have talked about it and it is the norm to invite our nannies to help themselves to any food in the house just as a family member would. I completely disagree with your stance and that is ok, but you cannot say your logic is the norm, because I truly do not believe it is and you have no basis to back that statement. I truly believe the norm is providing food for the nanny while she is in your home during meal hours. It's just the nature of that job. I love our nanny like family and it would be very weird any different!!

I agree that we'll have to agree to disagree (I'm not the only one posting though, and I assume neither are you, so I can't speak for others). I never once said that MY "logic is the norm" though, and even said that there is no norm, which is why MBs and nannies need to talk about this stuff.

I find the rest of your assertions pretty laughable in their lack of self-awareness. Ever heard the statement "the plural of anecdote is not data"? Among MY friends and acquaintances with nannies, all of their nannies bring their own lunch and are free to have a snack here and there or eat what the kids are having. I have never heard of an expectation that a live-out nanny would add food to your grocery list until I read this board. So who's "normal" is right - yours or mine? Obviously neither - just as you assert that I have no basis for what I think is normal, YOU similarly have no basis to back your statement that you "truly believe the norm is providing food for the nanny while she is in your home during meal hours." Which is, again, why I have repeatedly said there is obviously no normal.