What do you think those naughty pre-teens would get up to while nanny had dozed off? Drawing on the walls? Helping themselves to a cookie before dinner?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A nanny shouldn't "expect" anything but what she agreed to, but an MB *should* have the decency to offer a PTO day for someone who clearly needs it and can't afford it otherwise. You all can muster more outrage over the treatment of your vegetables...

You really have a chip on your shoulder.

Nope no chip. Just an observation. I've seen some of the most abhorrent attitudes from nannies and MBs alike on this site, but this thread really bothers me. The fact that OP was so clueless she had to come here to check if this is a firing offense, and when it was suggested that the nice reasonable human thing to do would have been to send her home with pay, a bunch of MBs jumped down our throats going on about professionalism and entitlement. Given the choice, do you pick 1)taking a job with no PTO or 2)remaining jobless, risking your savings and your welfare? Lets say you take the job. You find yourself extremely ill one day/recently hospitalized. Do you 1)call out from work knowing you won't be able to pay your rent/grocery bill/daycare and that you and perhaps your children will go hungry or 2) go into work and do the best you can. It's easy to say you just wouldn't take a job without PTO or that you'd negotiate it but the reality is that some people just aren't in the position to do so. It's also easy to say that you'd put your professionalism before your bills or your needs, but until you've been there you can't say for sure that you would. Have some compassion please. [b]Being a kind and caring person goes beyond being nice to people you feel are worth it (in your circle/peer group/social class) or donating to a charity once a year for the tax write off. [/b]

You had me until this line. Definite chip.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A nanny shouldn't "expect" anything but what she agreed to, but an MB *should* have the decency to offer a PTO day for someone who clearly needs it and can't afford it otherwise. You all can muster more outrage over the treatment of your vegetables...

You really have a chip on your shoulder.

Nope no chip. Just an observation. I've seen some of the most abhorrent attitudes from nannies and MBs alike on this site, but this thread really bothers me. The fact that OP was so clueless she had to come here to check if this is a firing offense, and when it was suggested that the nice reasonable human thing to do would have been to send her home with pay, a bunch of MBs jumped down our throats going on about professionalism and entitlement. Given the choice, do you pick 1)taking a job with no PTO or 2)remaining jobless, risking your savings and your welfare? Lets say you take the job. You find yourself extremely ill one day/recently hospitalized. Do you 1)call out from work knowing you won't be able to pay your rent/grocery bill/daycare and that you and perhaps your children will go hungry or 2) go into work and do the best you can. It's easy to say you just wouldn't take a job without PTO or that you'd negotiate it but the reality is that some people just aren't in the position to do so. It's also easy to say that you'd put your professionalism before your bills or your needs, but until you've been there you can't say for sure that you would. Have some compassion please. Being a kind and caring person goes beyond being nice to people you feel are worth it (in your circle/peer group/social class) or donating to a charity once a year for the tax write off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This latest run of commentary is just baffling. Is it really so hard to understand that many people simply CAN NOT AFFORD NOT TO WORK. No matter how crappy they feel or how poorly they might have to perform their job, if they are not sent home, they have to get through the day because for some people, $70-100 really does make the difference between paying a bill or buying groceries. It is not passive aggressive, entitled, lazy, or unethical. And as far as "wanting something for nothing"... if you call devoting our time/love/energy to the care of your children (and then wanting to take a paid day off when it is medically warranted) nothing, you have even bigger issues to address.

Ok, we get that. That is how I live, even $20 is a big issue to my finances. But when I am really sick, I will call my boss and ask her if I could take a PTO day and do extra babysitting or something at a later date so that I CAN still get paid. I will let her know that if this isn't possible, if I am coming in to work (while sick) or will have to take a day off unpaid (if I can afford it or if my doctor has said I am contagious and cannot be around anyone). Most families WILL try to work with you on this and let you make up hours. Sometimes they will even offer me the day off paid without having to make up the hours (or let me go early with full pay if they can take over early that day). The thing is, I am not expecting them to give me the day off paid. It sounds like others ARE expecting this, that is why "wanting something for nothing" was mentioned. They want the money with no work for it.

I'm not expecting anyone to give me anything. If I have decided to go to work sick, then I expect to work. If an MB poses the question of what she ought to do, my answer is to behave like a compassionate human being and do what you can. This MB was home and her children are 11 and 13. Having the nanny is purely a luxury, and if you give a crap about her you would send her home and work it out later. All you MBs care about is money and its really sad. This is a PERSON we are talking about who just had something inside her rupture and needs rest, but you all are creaming about entitlement and getting something for free. Sick.

You are assuming that the MB was home all day with nothing to do. That's an entitled attitude.

Anonymous wrote:A nanny shouldn't "expect" anything but what she agreed to, but an MB *should* have the decency to offer a PTO day for someone who clearly needs it and can't afford it otherwise. You all can muster more outrage over the treatment of your vegetables...

You really have a chip on your shoulder.

A nanny shouldn't "expect" anything but what she agreed to, but an MB *should* have the decency to offer a PTO day for someone who clearly needs it and can't afford it otherwise. You all can muster more outrage over the treatment of your vegetables...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This latest run of commentary is just baffling. Is it really so hard to understand that many people simply CAN NOT AFFORD NOT TO WORK. No matter how crappy they feel or how poorly they might have to perform their job, if they are not sent home, they have to get through the day because for some people, $70-100 really does make the difference between paying a bill or buying groceries. It is not passive aggressive, entitled, lazy, or unethical. And as far as "wanting something for nothing"... if you call devoting our time/love/energy to the care of your children (and then wanting to take a paid day off when it is medically warranted) nothing, you have even bigger issues to address.

Ok, we get that. That is how I live, even $20 is a big issue to my finances. But when I am really sick, I will call my boss and ask her if I could take a PTO day and do extra babysitting or something at a later date so that I CAN still get paid. I will let her know that if this isn't possible, if I am coming in to work (while sick) or will have to take a day off unpaid (if I can afford it or if my doctor has said I am contagious and cannot be around anyone). Most families WILL try to work with you on this and let you make up hours. Sometimes they will even offer me the day off paid without having to make up the hours (or let me go early with full pay if they can take over early that day). The thing is, I am not expecting them to give me the day off paid. It sounds like others ARE expecting this, that is why "wanting something for nothing" was mentioned. They want the money with no work for it.

I'm not expecting anyone to give me anything. If I have decided to go to work sick, then I expect to work. If an MB poses the question of what she ought to do, my answer is to behave like a compassionate human being and do what you can. This MB was home and her children are 11 and 13. Having the nanny is purely a luxury, and if you give a crap about her you would send her home and work it out later. All you MBs care about is money and its really sad. This is a PERSON we are talking about who just had something inside her rupture and needs rest, but you all are creaming about entitlement and getting something for free. Sick.

Screaming not creaming.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This latest run of commentary is just baffling. Is it really so hard to understand that many people simply CAN NOT AFFORD NOT TO WORK. No matter how crappy they feel or how poorly they might have to perform their job, if they are not sent home, they have to get through the day because for some people, $70-100 really does make the difference between paying a bill or buying groceries. It is not passive aggressive, entitled, lazy, or unethical. And as far as "wanting something for nothing"... if you call devoting our time/love/energy to the care of your children (and then wanting to take a paid day off when it is medically warranted) nothing, you have even bigger issues to address.

Ok, we get that. That is how I live, even $20 is a big issue to my finances. But when I am really sick, I will call my boss and ask her if I could take a PTO day and do extra babysitting or something at a later date so that I CAN still get paid. I will let her know that if this isn't possible, if I am coming in to work (while sick) or will have to take a day off unpaid (if I can afford it or if my doctor has said I am contagious and cannot be around anyone). Most families WILL try to work with you on this and let you make up hours. Sometimes they will even offer me the day off paid without having to make up the hours (or let me go early with full pay if they can take over early that day). The thing is, I am not expecting them to give me the day off paid. It sounds like others ARE expecting this, that is why "wanting something for nothing" was mentioned. They want the money with no work for it.

I'm not expecting anyone to give me anything. If I have decided to go to work sick, then I expect to work. If an MB poses the question of what she ought to do, my answer is to behave like a compassionate human being and do what you can. This MB was home and her children are 11 and 13. Having the nanny is purely a luxury, and if you give a crap about her you would send her home and work it out later. All you MBs care about is money and its really sad. This is a PERSON we are talking about who just had something inside her rupture and needs rest, but you all are creaming about entitlement and getting something for free. Sick.

Anonymous wrote:This latest run of commentary is just baffling. Is it really so hard to understand that many people simply CAN NOT AFFORD NOT TO WORK. No matter how crappy they feel or how poorly they might have to perform their job, if they are not sent home, they have to get through the day because for some people, $70-100 really does make the difference between paying a bill or buying groceries. It is not passive aggressive, entitled, lazy, or unethical. And as far as "wanting something for nothing"... if you call devoting our time/love/energy to the care of your children (and then wanting to take a paid day off when it is medically warranted) nothing, you have even bigger issues to address.

Ok, we get that. That is how I live, even $20 is a big issue to my finances. But when I am really sick, I will call my boss and ask her if I could take a PTO day and do extra babysitting or something at a later date so that I CAN still get paid. I will let her know that if this isn't possible, if I am coming in to work (while sick) or will have to take a day off unpaid (if I can afford it or if my doctor has said I am contagious and cannot be around anyone). Most families WILL try to work with you on this and let you make up hours. Sometimes they will even offer me the day off paid without having to make up the hours (or let me go early with full pay if they can take over early that day). The thing is, I am not expecting them to give me the day off paid. It sounds like others ARE expecting this, that is why "wanting something for nothing" was mentioned. They want the money with no work for it.

Anonymous wrote:I'm honestly not a troll. She does light housekeeping in addition to watching my children. I've never had a ruptured ovarian cyst so I'm not sure how painful they are/ how much recovery time is required. I didn't think they'd release her from the hospital from the first place if she was that exhausted.

I never even went to the doctor/hospital when I had mine. I went to the doctor for a depo shot 2 days later and mentioned my experience. They told me that it had been an ovarian cyst and that they basically wouldn't have done anything but given me pain meds for it. I didn't go to the doctor because I was not nearby the hospital and there was NO WAY I was taking the bus there (like I wouldn't have been able to not be curled up in a little ball or stop myself from puking). I didn't have anyone that could drive me, nor any extra money to take a taxi. If things had stayed bad for any longer than they did, or got worse, then I would have called an ambulance. I had checked online to make sure it was not my appendix, and when I felt the pain in the WRONG area for it to be that, I stopped worrying and just pushed through it.

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PPs.

Tell her to take tomorrow off.

If you do offer PTO, remind her that this is what it is for and to please call out sick if she's ever not feeling up to working.

If you don't offer PTO, consider why you don't feel that's an important benefit to give another human being who might encounter emergencies like ruptured ovarian cysts.

Yes, tell her that next time she should call and you could try and work something out if she normally doesn't have any PTO days. I don't get them for all of my PT positions, but I will gladly exchange a babysitting night on the weekend (at a later point and of equal hours) to still get paid my normal amount that week.

I have had a ruptured ovarian cyst before. Not sure how it feels for anyone else, but the pain from it literally made me sick to my stomach, and it started early afternoon and went on the whole afternoon into the evening. By night I was finally starting to get over it. I was pretty much fine by the next day though, just a bit tired since I had gone through so much the day before. I doubt she would need tomorrow off (unless, like I said, her experience was much different than mine was).

Right. All of the MBs that don't get it had privileged lives where they never worked a job without PTO and other benefits. I'll bet that many DID have to call in sick and get docked for a day's pay that they needed because they knew they could not perform their job duties. It's called being professional. The nanny should have told the MB that she was in pain and falling asleep so that her employer could deal with the situation. That was her duty and she failed.

Anonymous wrote:This latest run of commentary is just baffling. Is it really so hard to understand that many people simply CAN NOT AFFORD NOT TO WORK. No matter how crappy they feel or how poorly they might have to perform their job, if they are not sent home, they have to get through the day because for some people, $70-100 really does make the difference between paying a bill or buying groceries. It is not passive aggressive, entitled, lazy, or unethical. And as far as "wanting something for nothing"... if you call devoting our time/love/energy to the care of your children (and then wanting to take a paid day off when it is medically warranted) nothing, you have even bigger issues to address.

+1000

Indigent people must have jobs. They cannot risk losing a job by negotiating for benefits the employer doesn't want to offer, they cannot turn down a job in the hopes that a better one will show up next week, and they cannot take unpaid time off. That day's pay CAN be the difference between paying a bill or having your electricity turned off, between being able to afford an ER copay or having to suffer in pain at home undiagnosed, and between buying groceries or going to bed early to drown out the hunger.

If you've never lived like that, be grateful, not judgmental. It isn't easy and we have just as much pride in ourselves (and our work) as you do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:13:08 why exactly couldn't you offer to make up the housekeeping if you didn't want to take a day without pay? Most employers wold be fine with this if the part-time nanny was in a bind.

You seem to be unwilling to consider anything other than the possibly that you are afforded PTO that you didn't negotiate in the beginning. Bad attitude.

The one with the bad attitude is you. Selfish, cold-hearted, elitist attitude.

Not pp, but why is this an elitist attitude? Seems to me you want something for nothing.

Correct. We want humane treatment for all employees simply because they are being human beings. PERIOD.

Great, I agree, but in this nanny/employer market, you have to negotiate for what you want. I would have thought you knew that?

So given the choice of no job or job without pto, obv someone who can't afford not to work has to take the job available to her.

Poster, this is one place where common sense is just not so common. It's no use trying to explain this concept to many of the MB's on here. How could someone who has the money to pay someone to care for her children when she doesn't even work understand the concept of needing a job regardless of the benefits?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:13:08 why exactly couldn't you offer to make up the housekeeping if you didn't want to take a day without pay? Most employers wold be fine with this if the part-time nanny was in a bind.

You seem to be unwilling to consider anything other than the possibly that you are afforded PTO that you didn't negotiate in the beginning. Bad attitude.

The one with the bad attitude is you. Selfish, cold-hearted, elitist attitude.

Not pp, but why is this an elitist attitude? Seems to me you want something for nothing.

Correct. We want humane treatment for all employees simply because they are being human beings. PERIOD.

Great, I agree, but in this nanny/employer market, you have to negotiate for what you want. I would have thought you knew that?

So given the choice of no job or job without pto, obv someone who can't afford not to work has to take the job available to her.