Parenting is not all fun and games. It's messy and dirty, and stressful, and filled with little mundane tasks.

Parenting means DOING those nasty little tasks like loading bottles in the dishwasher on the weekend, teaching DC to clean up after themselves, and occasionally taking out the diaper trash.

Parents who are only "into" doing the fun stuff need to be clear in their expectations: "We will never empty the diaper pail, clean the toys up, or so much as rinse out a bottle. That is always your job, nanny!"

Then nanny can decide if she wants to work for entitled people or for people who accept that being a parent comes with good and bad stuff.

The nanny should not be the only one doing the parenting work.

Anonymous wrote:

Imagine if you were the parents, running around all weekend but the whole time worrying about having the house in pristine condition before your nanny arrives Monday morning. That's a miserable prospect! You're supposed to make their lives easier, not harder.

I made this mistake with my first nanny. I stupidly hired someone with no housekeeping tasks. I would get up at 5 am every morning to make sure that the dishwasher was unloaded for her and organize the toys every weekend. She would sit on the couch reading for 3 hours everyday. We let her go and hired a nanny/housekeeper who is a 100% better nanny and does light housekeeping.

While we never leave a sink full of dirty dishes, it makes such a difference having someone unload clean dishes and load in rinsed dishes. It also makes a huge difference having someone who does all laundry and grocery shopping. She still gets more than an hour break everyday but she doesn't feel entitled to sit around doing nothing for 3 hours a day.

Once again, not the issue at hand. OP does her duties during the week whatever they may be. The issue is the parents not resuming the role of responsible adult on the weekend, and leaving a huge mess to clean up when she returns. I don't think OP is referring to a few dishes here and there, the occasional full trash can, or some toys the kids left out. We're talking about when you come in on Monday and it is painfully evident that no one has lifted a finger all weekend; 3 days worth of dishes overflowing in the sink, every single toy the kids could possibly have played with strewn about, and a truly overflowing trash can, or worse yet trash lying about exactly where it was used. This is what we are complaining about, and this is what is not fair. Yes it's the weekend, and yes you may be busy, but you aren't above rinsing your own dish and putting it in the dishwasher on the weekend. It takes 2 seconds to throw your trash in the garbage, and a couple of minutes to take out a full trash bag. If your kids are old enough to pull out their toys on their own, they are old enough to put them away and teaching them to do so is still your job as a parent even if you pay a nanny to do it during the week.

Imagine if you were the parents, running around all weekend but the whole time worrying about having the house in pristine condition before your nanny arrives Monday morning. That's a miserable prospect! You're supposed to make their lives easier, not harder.

I made this mistake with my first nanny. I stupidly hired someone with no housekeeping tasks. I would get up at 5 am every morning to make sure that the dishwasher was unloaded for her and organize the toys every weekend. She would sit on the couch reading for 3 hours everyday. We let her go and hired a nanny/housekeeper who is a 100% better nanny and does light housekeeping.

While we never leave a sink full of dirty dishes, it makes such a difference having someone unload clean dishes and load in rinsed dishes. It also makes a huge difference having someone who does all laundry and grocery shopping. She still gets more than an hour break everyday but she doesn't feel entitled to sit around doing nothing for 3 hours a day.

Anonymous wrote:Imagine if you were the parents, running around all weekend but the whole time worrying about having the house in pristine condition before your nanny arrives Monday morning. That's a miserable prospect! You're supposed to make their lives easier, not harder.

House doesn't have to be pristine, just not trashed come Monday with dirty dishes covering all the counters and filling the sink, toys ALL over the house with not a single one put back all weekend long. That is taking advantage of someone. Leaving a couple toys out, clean dishes still in the dishwasher, no problem. Taking garbage out, that could have taken the parents 3 minutes to do, but it will also only take me 3 minutes as well, so no problem. Leaving the house looking like you had a party with 50 kids playing unsupervised the night before, BIG problem.

Anonymous wrote:Now I truly have seen it all! Thank you PP MB! I do the kids laundry 1-2 times per week as needed, and of course I don't filter out clothing that was worn on the weekend, but as for anything else, you wouldn't have to fire me-I'd quit if you expected me to come in Monday morning and clean all the toys played with over the weekend and whatever else you think you're too good to do because you pay a nanny during the week. Are you one of those moms from the other thread leaving the children in the same outfit Friday through Monday morning, because, you know, that's what you pay your nanny to do?

+1

I wouldn't care about the laundry from the weekend so much, but all the toys? No. It IS your job as the parent to take care of the kids on your time with them. That means spending time with them, feeding them, and helping to clean up after them. You as a parent should be the NUMBER ONE ROLE MODEL. A role model is there to mold them to good practices and behavior, which includes having them learn to help clean up their own messes (and when old enough, for them to do it themselves). You are also supposed to show them LEADING BY EXAMPLE... Once dinner is over, you bring your dishes into the kitchen and teach them to as well. You make a mess in the living room, you tidy it up, and teach them to tidy up their mess as well. You make your bed, you teach them to make their bed. You don't ever teach them that they can make a huge mess, leave the toys everywhere and then Monday morning nanny (or housekeeper) will come and clean it all up for them. They will never learn how to clean on their own, and will become the biggest slobs in the world. Oh wait, if you let your kids do this, then you probably are one of those slobs yourself. Too bad no one taught you how to clean up and not expect others to do it for you. Nanny's job is to HELP kids clean up what was used DURING their day together, or once they are old enough, to supervise the kids while they do it themselves.

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny of ten years did everything. She routinely did light cleaning up and putting away of things, she folded and put away our laundry, she assisted with the dinner preparation, she put away dishes, and she drove the kids to activities as needed.

When I asked for help, she would assist me in organizing closets and drawers, sorting through toys and clothes for donations or the trash, packing clothes and gear for trips, unpacking the same upon our return.

Most importantly she truly loved my children and they love her in return. She is like a third grandmother or a second mother, and she will always be part of our family though we moved away and she no longer works with us.

In return for her helpful attitude and love, we paid her well, gave her 3-4 weeks of paid vacation, gave her a two-weeks salary as Christmas bonus, and helped over the years to pay for her house repairs and doctor's bills.

That's great and you sound wonderful to work for. The core issue that so many of us nannies have is that when there is a respectful, give and take relationship, a nanny doesn't have to be asked to do the things you list, she does them happily because she feels appreciated. Far too often, there is not a respectful give and take relationship. A family wants to take take take and shows little appreciation in return. For a great family I will do whatever is needed of me. For a crappy family, I do strictly my duties while I quietly and carefully search for my next position. If you're treating your nanny right, she won't be on here venting about cleaning up toys on Monday, and these MB's wouldn't be under the delusion that they have no household/parental responsibility because they employ a nanny.

PP here, we also had a separate weekly housecleaning service -- so that nanny would not feel overwhelmed by a messy house.

Our nanny of ten years did everything. She routinely did light cleaning up and putting away of things, she folded and put away our laundry, she assisted with the dinner preparation, she put away dishes, and she drove the kids to activities as needed.

When I asked for help, she would assist me in organizing closets and drawers, sorting through toys and clothes for donations or the trash, packing clothes and gear for trips, unpacking the same upon our return.

Most importantly she truly loved my children and they love her in return. She is like a third grandmother or a second mother, and she will always be part of our family though we moved away and she no longer works with us.

In return for her helpful attitude and love, we paid her well, gave her 3-4 weeks of paid vacation, gave her a two-weeks salary as Christmas bonus, and helped over the years to pay for her house repairs and doctor's bills.

Appreciative parents are few and far between. But they are out there.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the MB and the previous poster-- a nanny that can keep a great job has an attitude of helpfulness. No- I don't usually leave a big mess for her to clean on Monday morning but I also appreciate that she understands that the weekend is for ALL of us to take a break. I am not going to skip the park or pool with my kids on a Sunday afternoon to stay home and clean up for Monday. My nanny of 4 years has never once complained about this and that is part of the reason she keeps getting raises, gets 4 weeks of paid vacation and will continue to be appreciated. MBs just remember that there are wonderful, helpful, happy nannies out there-- look for them and you will have a happy long relationship. Someone who interviewed and told me she only wanted to assist with messes made during her hours had a list of things she refused to do would never get a call back!!!

Your nanny is lucky. I've never gotten a raise or a thank you.

Anonymous wrote:I have said it before in response to similar postings, and I will say it again.

I honestly think that it is difficult to ask a college student/graduate or graduate student to undertake any sort of housework -- cleaning, laundry, dishes -- because in most cases they will consider this sort of work beneath them.

Many families are not so much looking for a "nanny" (though that is what they will call the job) as for a "SAHP-substitute". Please ask any stay-at-home parent whether his/her work is limited to watching, driving, feeding, and caring for the kids; or whether SAHP also cooks, cleans, does the dishes and laundry for the entire family.

Many immigrant nannies (ours have always been legal) consider parenthood/nannying and household work to be hand-in-hand sisters, because in reality they are.

I think that it is very important when hiring the nanny to ask them specifically which duties they consider a part of their job. In addition, I always make sure to hire a weekly maid service -- separate from the nanny -- so that the nanny does not feel burdened by heavy-duty cleaning and housekeeping.

OP again.

Please reread my original post. I clearly stated I had no issue with doing housework. My issue was with the parents leaving a complete mess for me to clean up on Mondays.

Ok, OP again.

By no means am I saying that I shouldn't be expected to do the work within my contract. My issue lies with what I feel like is my employers taking advantage of me. It comes down to me spending more time cleaning up after MB/DB (mostly DB) on Mondays, than spending time with the children. Also, it has been clearly expressed to me that I am expected to clean up the weekend mess on Monday. If that's what they want me to do, than so be it. However, I really would prefer that I'd be able to come in two hours early while DB is still home so I can clean without having to care for the children as well. I do not feel like I am "above" cleaning, I am relatively young and this is my first full-time nanny job. However, it is an issue when I am in a panic of making sure everything is done by the time MB is home, as well as keeping the children occupied and safe.

A PP bought up a good point, they surely feed and diaper the children over the weekend. Wouldn't cleaning up after them be in their responsibility as well. I really feel like I'm being taken advantage of, and every time I've bought it up it's just swept under the rug.

*It's

You parents are soooo frickin lazy. Yet you flip shit if a nanny calls herself the primary caregiver. It interesting to see how the irrational mind works.