The spanking example is so obviously made up. It is ILLEGAL for you to spank another person's child.

If the child were in daycare, the parent may need to compromise on a few things like nap and feeding schedules, CIO etc. because they are dealing with other children as well. But having a nanny is more expensive for a reason - you are supposed to get that specialized care and attention.

Being a nanny does not mean that you get to make parental decisions or challenge the parent's on their decisions. You are simply there when the parent cannot be, to do things as they would do them.

I completely understand how easy it would be to become attached to a child you are spending so many hours with. There is a mutual connection between the nanny and child, you are there to nurse them when they are sick, you often do a lot of the things parent's do, and you would be made of stone not to let that affect you. But at the end of the day, you are the employee, not the parent.

There's a lot of nastiness and defensiveness on this forum, like with the accusations that parent's are absent because they have careers and work outside of the home. I honestly feel that what it boils down to is nannies often feel unappreciated and drained as the job does take a lot of physical and emotional energy.

Anonymous wrote:Again... Parents who hire me, do so for how I do my job. Please forgive me for being so direct with you, pp, but which part of that, do you not comprehend?

Frankly, it is hard to comprehend anything you say because you punctuate every crazy post in every thread so poorly. I suspect that if your employers were around the house on a regular basis to speak with you for any length of time, they'd be less than pleased. Given your obvious limitations in judgment, intelligence, and interpersonal skills, it was very wise of you to choose a field where you have such little contact with your bosses.

Anonymous wrote:As long as the child is not in danger, you will obey parental demands, no matter how insane? And you call yourself a nanny? The Brits, who understand what a nanny is, would laugh you off the map.

If you think the parental demands are insane, you either report the parents to a public authority if the child is in danger or you quit your job if you think the demands are unreasonable but not a danger to the child.

Anonymous wrote:Legally, is a nanny a "mandated reporter" of suspected child abuse?

No. Social workers, teachers, doctors etc. are
It would be a moral obligation for nannies though

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, OP, if you said that to me, I'd fire you in a quick second.

You work for me. I am the parent. What you think is right doesn't trump what I think is right and if you defy my parenting wishes, we are not a good fit and you are welcome to leave.

But make no mistake. The parent is the one in charge. So if you think it's fine to ignore my child while you text on your phone because you think it's important she learn 'independent play' (as ridiculous an example as your nonsense spanking example), I will fire you because your judgment isn't better simply because you're the nanny.

+1. The arrogance of nannies on this board is truly stunning.

Legally, is a nanny a "mandated reporter" of suspected child abuse?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents are primary caregivers. They have the legal, moral and physical responsibility for their children. All decisions around raising the children belong to the parents. Nannies are trusted employees but do not know the child best, nor do they know how to raise their charges better than a parent.

OP, you are trying to start trouble here and you are failing. Give it up.

How do you know your child "best", when you're down on K St., most of your child's waking hours? Even if nanny produces a daily log with a few highlights of each day, your "getting to know your child", is second-hand, at best. It's the person who is directly providing the majority of the care, who knows the child, the best. Of course, if you keep the nanny door revolving, no one really knows the child.

One has to wonder what kind of early childhood the rich white boy, school shooters, had....

+1...I think some parents are in denial because they WANT to be the ones who know their child best but in all honesty, you're not. I don't even say that to be rude but it's just a fact. I am with my charge 78 waking hours per week and my MB/DB are with him for 13. I take him to all appointments-medical, dental, haircuts...all playgroups and activities- music class, gymnastics, swim lessons....I am positive that I know him better than my MB/DB. It's just reality.

PP here again...I forgot to mention that I'm not saying ALL situtations are like this. Nannies are not always the primary caregiver or spend as much time with their charges as others may. My point was that the parents DO NOT always know their child best, as sad as that is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents are primary caregivers. They have the legal, moral and physical responsibility for their children. All decisions around raising the children belong to the parents. Nannies are trusted employees but do not know the child best, nor do they know how to raise their charges better than a parent.

OP, you are trying to start trouble here and you are failing. Give it up.

How do you know your child "best", when you're down on K St., most of your child's waking hours? Even if nanny produces a daily log with a few highlights of each day, your "getting to know your child", is second-hand, at best. It's the person who is directly providing the majority of the care, who knows the child, the best. Of course, if you keep the nanny door revolving, no one really knows the child.

One has to wonder what kind of early childhood the rich white boy, school shooters, had....

+1...I think some parents are in denial because they WANT to be the ones who know their child best but in all honesty, you're not. I don't even say that to be rude but it's just a fact. I am with my charge 78 waking hours per week and my MB/DB are with him for 13. I take him to all appointments-medical, dental, haircuts...all playgroups and activities- music class, gymnastics, swim lessons....I am positive that I know him better than my MB/DB. It's just reality.

Anonymous wrote:Parents are primary caregivers. They have the legal, moral and physical responsibility for their children. All decisions around raising the children belong to the parents. Nannies are trusted employees but do not know the child best, nor do they know how to raise their charges better than a parent.

OP, you are trying to start trouble here and you are failing. Give it up.

How do you know your child "best", when you're down on K St., most of your child's waking hours? Even if nanny produces a daily log with a few highlights of each day, your "getting to know your child", is second-hand, at best. It's the person who is directly providing the majority of the care, who knows the child, the best. Of course, if you keep the nanny door revolving, no one really knows the child.

One has to wonder what kind of early childhood the rich white boy, school shooters, had....

15:43, Thank you for sharing your wisdom. It seems like one very vocal woman here, who is in denial. Lots of people have that condition.

Anonymous wrote:Parents are primary caregivers. They have the legal, moral and physical responsibility for their children. All decisions around raising the children belong to the parents. Nannies are trusted employees but do not know the child best, nor do they know how to raise their charges better than a parent.

OP, you are trying to start trouble here and you are failing. Give it up.

If a nanny spends more time giving care to the child than the parents then they are the primary caregivers. Nannies are just employees but that's not to say that there aren't plenty of nannies out there who knows their charge better than MB and DB.

Parents are primary caregivers. They have the legal, moral and physical responsibility for their children. All decisions around raising the children belong to the parents. Nannies are trusted employees but do not know the child best, nor do they know how to raise their charges better than a parent.

OP, you are trying to start trouble here and you are failing. Give it up.

It boils down to the question of who is the Primary caregiver. That person is either the parent or someone else. Whoever it is, knows the child the best.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every parent "works", well ok, most. Some work with their kids, actually raising them. Other parents work in an office, while someone else is paid to become the caretaker (usually primary caretaker, because it's hard to pull off PT office jobs). No one human does it all.

I have no purpose to offend, nor do I aspire to political correctness. I simply desire engagement in an open and honest discussion with sincere and thoughtful adults.

Are you game?

Absentee means absent from the children while at the office. It's a straight forward fact for many parents. It either is, or isn't, depending on factual circumstances. The fact that indeed many of them love their children dearly, doesn't change the actual situation at hand.

I see absentee as more largely absent from a big part of the child's lives in terms of physically being there but also emotionally being there. A parent who works out of the house 40 hours a week is not an absentee parent (not unless their social lives and other parts of their lives keep them away from their children significantly more than the 40 hours). They are still there plenty of the time and are still playing a large role in raising their child.

Anonymous wrote:Every parent "works", well ok, most. Some work with their kids, actually raising them. Other parents work in an office, while someone else is paid to become the caretaker (usually primary caretaker, because it's hard to pull off PT office jobs). No one human does it all.

I have no purpose to offend, nor do I aspire to political correctness. I simply desire engagement in an open and honest discussion with sincere and thoughtful adults.

Are you game?

Absentee means absent from the children while at the office. It's a straight forward fact for many parents. It either is, or isn't, depending on factual circumstances. The fact that indeed many of them love their children dearly, doesn't change the actual situation at hand.