Anonymous wrote:+1 for let it go.

This mom has ONE baby. While she's the mom of the kid, you (presumably) have much more experience with different kids. She's a first time mom and probably did think you did something wrong. At least the husband corrected her and she said something nice to you.

Pity the mom for living in a bubble that hasn't burst yet. If she ever has more kids, she'll learn quickly...

Wise response here.

Anonymous wrote:Omg get over yourself. How do you even live and have relationships with humans, both professional and private when you’re so thin skinned?

As for OP, move on and let it go.

OP should move on to a new job.

+1 for let it go.

This mom has ONE baby. While she's the mom of the kid, you (presumably) have much more experience with different kids. She's a first time mom and probably did think you did something wrong. At least the husband corrected her and she said something nice to you.

Pity the mom for living in a bubble that hasn't burst yet. If she ever has more kids, she'll learn quickly...

Haha when your special child goes to school you will get lots of complaints and discover things you had no idea

I asked a few friends what they would think if they were a Nanny & their MB said this in front of them - and they all responded that it is a screwed up thing for any Mother to even say this in the first place.
By saying this out loudly, it is clear that this Mother does not 100% trust her Nanny. At all.
…………………….
Mom sounds like she suffers from “Working Mom Guilt” + needs to consider taking a few yrs off to care for her baby vs. expecting her baby never to cry while in the company of another.

Omg get over yourself. How do you even live and have relationships with humans, both professional and private when you’re so thin skinned?

As for OP, move on and let it go.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This can be hard for working moms; you leave your precious baby and have to trust they’re ok. It’s difficult not to be triggered by that crying. She probably struggles with her own feelings, which has nothing to do with OP, and let that comment slip. She felt bad, and she and her husband discussed why the comment was inappropriate and she tried to smooth things over without directly apologizing. OP, you did nothing wrong. The mom is having a hard time

I agree with the basic spirit of this.

Mothers often struggle w/ leaving their babies - for all kinds of reasons. Stupid stuff flies out of their mouth. It sounds to me like her comment came across as critical and blaming. Which, of course, is totally unfair. Sounds like the husband heard and understood that and immediately tried to have the nanny's back and then calm the mother down.

The relationship between nanny and employers is fraught. It's so personal and yet also really needs to be professional. And parents often have no idea how to manage/be a good employer, and are also learning how to be parents, trying to manage their own crazy emotions, etc... It's really hard to navigate.

Try to appreciate that the husband reined the mother in. Try not to take it personally (because it really doesn't have anything to do with you) and see how things go over time.

You know what? There is no other way to take what she said. It was personal and nothing the husband said it did can change this. The fact that the mother had never heard that cry shows that she knows very little about her 8 month old infant!

She does not trust OP and now OP knows this. There is no good outcome here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This can be hard for working moms; you leave your precious baby and have to trust they’re ok. It’s difficult not to be triggered by that crying. She probably struggles with her own feelings, which has nothing to do with OP, and let that comment slip. She felt bad, and she and her husband discussed why the comment was inappropriate and she tried to smooth things over without directly apologizing. OP, you did nothing wrong. The mom is having a hard time

I agree with the basic spirit of this.

Mothers often struggle w/ leaving their babies - for all kinds of reasons. Stupid stuff flies out of their mouth. It sounds to me like her comment came across as critical and blaming. Which, of course, is totally unfair. Sounds like the husband heard and understood that and immediately tried to have the nanny's back and then calm the mother down.

The relationship between nanny and employers is fraught. It's so personal and yet also really needs to be professional. And parents often have no idea how to manage/be a good employer, and are also learning how to be parents, trying to manage their own crazy emotions, etc... It's really hard to navigate.

Try to appreciate that the husband reined the mother in. Try not to take it personally (because it really doesn't have anything to do with you) and see how things go over time.

+ 1

Are you a medically trained person? If the answer is no, it would be rude of you to offer medical advice or suggestions without being asked.

Anonymous wrote:

This can be hard for working moms; you leave your precious baby and have to trust they’re ok. It’s difficult not to be triggered by that crying. She probably struggles with her own feelings, which has nothing to do with OP, and let that comment slip. She felt bad, and she and her husband discussed why the comment was inappropriate and she tried to smooth things over without directly apologizing. OP, you did nothing wrong. The mom is having a hard time

I agree with the basic spirit of this.

Mothers often struggle w/ leaving their babies - for all kinds of reasons. Stupid stuff flies out of their mouth. It sounds to me like her comment came across as critical and blaming. Which, of course, is totally unfair. Sounds like the husband heard and understood that and immediately tried to have the nanny's back and then calm the mother down.

The relationship between nanny and employers is fraught. It's so personal and yet also really needs to be professional. And parents often have no idea how to manage/be a good employer, and are also learning how to be parents, trying to manage their own crazy emotions, etc... It's really hard to navigate.

Try to appreciate that the husband reined the mother in. Try not to take it personally (because it really doesn't have anything to do with you) and see how things go over time.

Seriously PP ^^ above…..let it go.

You keep trying to be someone else but you are the same, overly miserable person who comes on here all. the. time.

Hold on. A nanny's employer isn't allowed to have any doubt or skepticism? Their provider passed a background check so now they walk on water and are so above reproach, that to even imply some fault of theirs is a grievous offense? What???

Would you prefer a discussion- "I noticed that baby was crying in a way I'm not used to. Is everything ok?" OP would still feel judged and offended and feel like she shouldn't even have to justify anything, instead of explaining calmly?

She implied doubt with your work, discussed it away and came to make amends. Was she supposed to write you a written note of apology and how terrible she was, saying how terrible she was and how grateful she is for such a great nanny that she doesn't deserve?

What if you ever do make a mistake, should the employer ignore it too?

Also eight months is not that long. Six months was the length of my probation period for my corporate job with, arguably, lower stakes than nannying "precious children". Passing a credit and background check is something a lot of people in a lot of jobs have to do, including likely OP's employees, especially when they have access to money, children, or confidential information of any kind, and not some kind of deep humiliation.