Anonymous wrote:Your child threw a toy at someone, not saying it was ok for adult to throw back, but why didn’t you discipline your child

She didn’t throw a toy at someone. She tossed her teddy bear, underhanded, in the air. She’s four years old. The teddy bear landed gently in the AP’s lap. The AP then grabbed it, threw it overhand with full force, at my child’s face. I found out later the AP was upset because the guy she had dated for a few months - a year ago - had posted a picture of him and his new girlfriend on social media and that’s why AP was upset.

Your child threw a toy at someone, not saying it was ok for adult to throw back, but why didn’t you discipline your child

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully she’s placed with a better family who’s children aren’t disrespectful and rambunctious. I feel sorry for your next aupair/nanny and wish her all the best having to deal with you.

She’s back in South Africa now, looking for a job. She has the equivalent of a high school diploma. Before coming to the US as an au pair, she worked as a server, where she made $8 USD per day ($1 USD per hour) serving burgers and fries. So yes, I’m sure she’d love to find a generous kind loving family in South Africa to pay her what she made in the US… maybe you want to sponsor her lol

And you’re gloating because you paid her 160$ more and gave her a “good life”? You truly are disgusting OP.

Correct I’m the evil awful HP. Don’t care. I agree with you - she needs to find a loving kind generous family to employ her. I’m sure they’ll love how “hands on” she is with kids!

And I’m sure you’re the one saying she’s mentally unstable in your other post. I’ll pray for you you’re a nasty person OP I see where your brats get it from

I wonder if posts like this are just random trolls or APs thinking that they're helping somehow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully she’s placed with a better family who’s children aren’t disrespectful and rambunctious. I feel sorry for your next aupair/nanny and wish her all the best having to deal with you.

She’s back in South Africa now, looking for a job. She has the equivalent of a high school diploma. Before coming to the US as an au pair, she worked as a server, where she made $8 USD per day ($1 USD per hour) serving burgers and fries. So yes, I’m sure she’d love to find a generous kind loving family in South Africa to pay her what she made in the US… maybe you want to sponsor her lol

And you’re gloating because you paid her 160$ more and gave her a “good life”? You truly are disgusting OP.

Correct I’m the evil awful HP. Don’t care. I agree with you - she needs to find a loving kind generous family to employ her. I’m sure they’ll love how “hands on” she is with kids!

And I’m sure you’re the one saying she’s mentally unstable in your other post. I’ll pray for you you’re a nasty person OP I see where your brats get it from

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully she’s placed with a better family who’s children aren’t disrespectful and rambunctious. I feel sorry for your next aupair/nanny and wish her all the best having to deal with you.

She’s back in South Africa now, looking for a job. She has the equivalent of a high school diploma. Before coming to the US as an au pair, she worked as a server, where she made $8 USD per day ($1 USD per hour) serving burgers and fries. So yes, I’m sure she’d love to find a generous kind loving family in South Africa to pay her what she made in the US… maybe you want to sponsor her lol

And you’re gloating because you paid her 160$ more and gave her a “good life”? You truly are disgusting OP.

Correct I’m the evil awful HP. Don’t care. I agree with you - she needs to find a loving kind generous family to employ her. I’m sure they’ll love how “hands on” she is with kids!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully she’s placed with a better family who’s children aren’t disrespectful and rambunctious. I feel sorry for your next aupair/nanny and wish her all the best having to deal with you.

She’s back in South Africa now, looking for a job. She has the equivalent of a high school diploma. Before coming to the US as an au pair, she worked as a server, where she made $8 USD per day ($1 USD per hour) serving burgers and fries. So yes, I’m sure she’d love to find a generous kind loving family in South Africa to pay her what she made in the US… maybe you want to sponsor her lol

And you’re gloating because you paid her 160$ more and gave her a “good life”? You truly are disgusting OP.

That girl would be removed from my house immediately

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you about you AP did wrong. But on the other hand, None AP deserve to be disrespectful from any child. Letting kids kicking, punching, hitting, bitting and yelling at them So bad. When in most cases, parents sadly DO NOT do anything to try to discipline their kids teahing them that They are behavior is absolutely Wrong and they need to respect everyone. Mainy Adults. Anyways, I glad you got your peace and privacy back. Good luck.

Op here and I agree with you. We had one incident about 6 months ago where one of our children pushed her (!). I was mortified. And it was an immediate time out, apology, etc etc. I would be so disappointed in any parent who doesn’t correct the actions you mention (biting, hitting, etc.). Kids can be such little shits and they need parents to help them learn. Best of luck to you as well.

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully she’s placed with a better family who’s children aren’t disrespectful and rambunctious. I feel sorry for your next aupair/nanny and wish her all the best having to deal with you.

She’s back in South Africa now, looking for a job. She has the equivalent of a high school diploma. Before coming to the US as an au pair, she worked as a server, where she made $8 USD per day ($1 USD per hour) serving burgers and fries. So yes, I’m sure she’d love to find a generous kind loving family in South Africa to pay her what she made in the US… maybe you want to sponsor her lol

I agree with you about you AP did wrong. But on the other hand, None AP deserve to be disrespectful from any child. Letting kids kicking, punching, hitting, bitting and yelling at them So bad. When in most cases, parents sadly DO NOT do anything to try to discipline their kids teahing them that They are behavior is absolutely Wrong and they need to respect everyone. Mainy Adults. Anyways, I glad you got your peace and privacy back. Good luck.

Hopefully she’s placed with a better family who’s children aren’t disrespectful and rambunctious. I feel sorry for your next aupair/nanny and wish her all the best having to deal with you.

Op here. Re-reading my post (apologies for typos I’m on my phone) - to clarify, the au pairs friends took her out on her last night, not my husband!

I really appreciate everyone’s thoughts. In the end, because I was increasingly concerned about her mental state, I decided the best thing for me was to keep things calm and maintain the status quo. She worked very few hours which I framed as giving her time to pack/say her goodbyes/etc., as opposed to the truth, I.e., that I didn’t want her around my kids.

I certainly hope she understands she will not get a reference from us. I have absolutely no interest in remaining in contact with her.

Op here! Sorry for not following up - I have been enjoying having my privacy and house back!

First, big thank you to all of you who took time to respond and give your thoughts / support.

Second, the week wasn’t so bad. I generally steered clear of her and she knew she had f’ed up so she was on good behavior. I ended up having a conflict on her last night so my husband hosted her au pair friends for a good night sushi dinner and then they took her out. She and I had a civil goodbye. At the end of the day, I’m an adult and unlike her, I can handle my emotions. So I thanked her for her help, she thanked me and that was that. We gave her a small “bonus” ($200). And now I never have to think about her again - woo hoo!!!

To the posters calling my kid brat, snot, etc. - you are on an anonymous board calling a 4 year old child names… might be time to re-evaluate whatever is going on in you life…

I assume the posts about my kid “deserving” this or the au pair being justified are troll posts? But if not… if you believe that an adult is entitled to take out her aggression on a four year old child, I am truly sorry for whatever life experiences led you to that conclusion. No child should be physically threatened because an adult cannot control her emotions. This post wasn’t about whether the au pair was or was not in the wrong. She was wrong. If you disagree, please do seek help.

Good luck to all the au pair hosts in your hosting experiences. <3

OP - what did you end up doing?

I am curious!

Don't host a dinner or give gifts. If you can, take the week off. Let her sulk her room.

I wouldn't trust her around my kids.