Anonymous wrote:We deliberately match with APs who are vegetarian/pescatarian. We buy what they ask for except junk food. If we buy something special we don’t eat (e.g., okra), we make a point of saying it’s on them to finish it. If they don’t - we don’t buy again unless they can articulate a meal they are going to make within the week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our expectation is that the au pair will eat what we eat. I have done cultural exchanges in other countries and that was the expectation that my host family had for me. A few extras, fine. But we are not in the business of buying a whole separate grocery list for the person who is supposed to be "on par". The problem with the AP program is that expectations around this are vague.

Most Americans don’t even eat much real food. How’s your family diet?

Please don't generalize! How’s your family diet? Wait, I don't care. Au pairs can ask for healthy alternative but that is not what we are talking about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our expectation is that the au pair will eat what we eat. I have done cultural exchanges in other countries and that was the expectation that my host family had for me. A few extras, fine. But we are not in the business of buying a whole separate grocery list for the person who is supposed to be "on par". The problem with the AP program is that expectations around this are vague.

Most Americans don’t even eat much real food. How’s your family diet?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our expectation is that the au pair will eat what we eat. I have done cultural exchanges in other countries and that was the expectation that my host family had for me. A few extras, fine. But we are not in the business of buying a whole separate grocery list for the person who is supposed to be "on par". The problem with the AP program is that expectations around this are vague.

Most Americans don’t even eat much real food. How’s your family diet?

Anonymous wrote:Our expectation is that the au pair will eat what we eat. I have done cultural exchanges in other countries and that was the expectation that my host family had for me. A few extras, fine. But we are not in the business of buying a whole separate grocery list for the person who is supposed to be "on par". The problem with the AP program is that expectations around this are vague.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our new AP has been here for a less than a week and is asking for salmon as part of the grocery list. She's a second year, so i'ts not like she is clueless about prices in the area (she lived elsewhere in the DMV). She also asked for cilantro lime salad dressing and vitamin C tablets. I will obviously talk to her about this to remind her how we agreed groceries work in our house (as detailed in our handbook)--but I do find this presumptuous.

I'm a long time HM and you are the definition of miserly. You are nitpicking salad dressing and vitamin C?! Frozen salmon is not expensive at all. Hell if be thrilled if my AuPair was that healb conscious and wanted to keep her body from getting sick.

You're gross.

You make a good point but some people will have a threshold. I got our current AP the healthy things she asked for (kale, brussel sprouts, chia seeds, a carton of egg whites, etc) but they have either languished in the cupboard or I had to throw them out when the went bad. She just eats all the leftovers instead even though she keeps on saying she is going to meal prep her lunches (she has more than enough time to do so). So when she asked for coconut water I said no, we are trying to be a bit more careful about our grocery budget. Now she has started to ask for highly processed items like pepperoni sticks. I get them as I know she will eat those.

Is she also second year? My AP always says No when I ask her if she need anything. She asked for orange juice once and literally didn't touch it. So I have stopped asking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our new AP has been here for a less than a week and is asking for salmon as part of the grocery list. She's a second year, so i'ts not like she is clueless about prices in the area (she lived elsewhere in the DMV). She also asked for cilantro lime salad dressing and vitamin C tablets. I will obviously talk to her about this to remind her how we agreed groceries work in our house (as detailed in our handbook)--but I do find this presumptuous.

I'm a long time HM and you are the definition of miserly. You are nitpicking salad dressing and vitamin C?! Frozen salmon is not expensive at all. Hell if be thrilled if my AuPair was that healb conscious and wanted to keep her body from getting sick.

You're gross.

I totally disagree. If it's too expensive for your family then you say no. Now, if you're eating filet mignon 5x a week and not letting her have what she wants then that's bad news. But if you stick to a budget and told her this up front, you're not wrong (though, I agree with the above and would buy her frozen salmon once a month). You will find people on here who say that if you don't buy your AP everything they want that you are, to use the above poster, "gross." Ap is "on par". That means they're like a member of the family, not above.

As a side note, our first AP began asking for more and more items every week and I bought then. By week 5 it was a list of 11 items including specific kinds of protein water and specialty stuff we don't even buy because it's so pricey. Also, we were throwing out some of what we did buy (like salad) because she decided she didn't want to eat it. That was the end of the separate shopping list for our APs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our new AP has been here for a less than a week and is asking for salmon as part of the grocery list. She's a second year, so i'ts not like she is clueless about prices in the area (she lived elsewhere in the DMV). She also asked for cilantro lime salad dressing and vitamin C tablets. I will obviously talk to her about this to remind her how we agreed groceries work in our house (as detailed in our handbook)--but I do find this presumptuous.

I'm a long time HM and you are the definition of miserly. You are nitpicking salad dressing and vitamin C?! Frozen salmon is not expensive at all. Hell if be thrilled if my AuPair was that healb conscious and wanted to keep her body from getting sick.

You're gross.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our new AP has been here for a less than a week and is asking for salmon as part of the grocery list. She's a second year, so i'ts not like she is clueless about prices in the area (she lived elsewhere in the DMV). She also asked for cilantro lime salad dressing and vitamin C tablets. I will obviously talk to her about this to remind her how we agreed groceries work in our house (as detailed in our handbook)--but I do find this presumptuous.

I'm a long time HM and you are the definition of miserly. You are nitpicking salad dressing and vitamin C?! Frozen salmon is not expensive at all. Hell if be thrilled if my AuPair was that healb conscious and wanted to keep her body from getting sick.

You're gross.

You make a good point but some people will have a threshold. I got our current AP the healthy things she asked for (kale, brussel sprouts, chia seeds, a carton of egg whites, etc) but they have either languished in the cupboard or I had to throw them out when the went bad. She just eats all the leftovers instead even though she keeps on saying she is going to meal prep her lunches (she has more than enough time to do so). So when she asked for coconut water I said no, we are trying to be a bit more careful about our grocery budget. Now she has started to ask for highly processed items like pepperoni sticks. I get them as I know she will eat those.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our new AP has been here for a less than a week and is asking for salmon as part of the grocery list. She's a second year, so i'ts not like she is clueless about prices in the area (she lived elsewhere in the DMV). She also asked for cilantro lime salad dressing and vitamin C tablets. I will obviously talk to her about this to remind her how we agreed groceries work in our house (as detailed in our handbook)--but I do find this presumptuous.

I'm a long time HM and you are the definition of miserly. You are nitpicking salad dressing and vitamin C?! Frozen salmon is not expensive at all. Hell if be thrilled if my AuPair was that healb conscious and wanted to keep her body from getting sick.

You're gross.

Anonymous wrote:Our new AP has been here for a less than a week and is asking for salmon as part of the grocery list. She's a second year, so i'ts not like she is clueless about prices in the area (she lived elsewhere in the DMV). She also asked for cilantro lime salad dressing and vitamin C tablets. I will obviously talk to her about this to remind her how we agreed groceries work in our house (as detailed in our handbook)--but I do find this presumptuous.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a longtime host mom and I’m appalled by your attitude. The horrors! She wants some healthy food that she likes to eat!!! How exactly do you detail how groceries work in your handbook?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it was the fact that it seems like it was APs first week and just assumed that the host family would buy her the vitamins? IDK.

https://www.costco.com/kirkland-signature-vitamin-c-1000-mg.%2c-500-tablets.product.10015954.html
They are like $15 for more than she'll likely use. Why would she assume that would be a problem or 'too much'? I wouldn't.

That is a slippery slope, what is she going to ask next? her acne cream or her weight loss pill?
She is testing the water to see what she can get away with, OP should keep her straight, but yeah Salmon and dressing are fair game. Maybe it is time for OP to include salmon in her diet (once or twice a month) so that the AP is not the only eating the good stuffs