Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not rent a hotel room in such a circumstance. I would offer the AP to come and sleep on the couch. I would then give her the next day off. Since you are really only required to provide a separate bedroom when she’s working. So the bedroom would be the night before working - which insures she’s rested, rinse and repeat until power is back on. Families who take APs on vacation can have them share with kids so long as they are not working. Same principle.

+1. Now let see what argument the RULE FOLLOWERS will come up with! Because they are going to find something else...

Nowhere in the legislation say a bedroom except in xyz cases. You’re supposed to provide a bedroom. That’s it.

APIA says if your AP is going on vacation with you and working minimal or no hours it's OK to have AP share with kids or HM. Two different CCs have told us that this is acceptable. So for example, we just took our AP to Tahiti. She shared a bedroom with HM and DD for part of the trip (in the second part, we rented a one bedroom condo and gave her the room and we slept in the living room). She did not spend any time with DD alone during the day/evening but assisted as needed (strapping and unstrapping DD in carseat, stroller, etc.) except for 4 hours on NYE where she watched DD alone. She also took surfing lessons, went to the beach by herself, yoga classes, etc. We had a frank discussion with her about all arrangements beforehand and she agreed and said it was the best experience of her life. In contrast when I take her on work trips and she is working regular hours, we book her a separate room.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not rent a hotel room in such a circumstance. I would offer the AP to come and sleep on the couch. I would then give her the next day off. Since you are really only required to provide a separate bedroom when she’s working. So the bedroom would be the night before working - which insures she’s rested, rinse and repeat until power is back on. Families who take APs on vacation can have them share with kids so long as they are not working. Same principle.

+1. Now let see what argument the RULE FOLLOWERS will come up with! Because they are going to find something else...

Nowhere in the legislation say a bedroom except in xyz cases. You’re supposed to provide a bedroom. That’s it.

Since you are so sure, why don't point out the legislation that says you are supposed to provide bedroom at all time here? Different agencies have different rules on that!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not rent a hotel room in such a circumstance. I would offer the AP to come and sleep on the couch. I would then give her the next day off. Since you are really only required to provide a separate bedroom when she’s working. So the bedroom would be the night before working - which insures she’s rested, rinse and repeat until power is back on. Families who take APs on vacation can have them share with kids so long as they are not working. Same principle.

+1. Now let see what argument the RULE FOLLOWERS will come up with! Because they are going to find something else...

Nowhere in the legislation say a bedroom except in xyz cases. You’re supposed to provide a bedroom. That’s it.

Np here. There’s a bedroom in the house with no power. Would that be following the rules? Technically yes. But hardly within the spirit. Sometimes life throws a temporary curveball and then everyone needs to roll with it for a minute.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not rent a hotel room in such a circumstance. I would offer the AP to come and sleep on the couch. I would then give her the next day off. Since you are really only required to provide a separate bedroom when she’s working. So the bedroom would be the night before working - which insures she’s rested, rinse and repeat until power is back on. Families who take APs on vacation can have them share with kids so long as they are not working. Same principle.

+1. Now let see what argument the RULE FOLLOWERS will come up with! Because they are going to find something else...

Nowhere in the legislation say a bedroom except in xyz cases. You’re supposed to provide a bedroom. That’s it.

Anonymous wrote:I would not rent a hotel room in such a circumstance. I would offer the AP to come and sleep on the couch. I would then give her the next day off. Since you are really only required to provide a separate bedroom when she’s working. So the bedroom would be the night before working - which insures she’s rested, rinse and repeat until power is back on. Families who take APs on vacation can have them share with kids so long as they are not working. Same principle.

+1. Now let see what argument the RULE FOLLOWERS will come up with! Because they are going to find something else...

I would not rent a hotel room in such a circumstance. I would offer the AP to come and sleep on the couch. I would then give her the next day off. Since you are really only required to provide a separate bedroom when she’s working. So the bedroom would be the night before working - which insures she’s rested, rinse and repeat until power is back on. Families who take APs on vacation can have them share with kids so long as they are not working. Same principle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah okay then yes she was right to be mad. You didn’t follow the rules.

Imagine if your employer violated an employment law and said “but it was an emergency...”

-HM who would have offered to take the futon and put the kids on the couch

This!

So to get this straight ... there's an emergency power outage. Family comes up with backup plan to go somewhere else and includes AP. The choices are they all cram into one bedroom and the AP sleeps on a futon OR AP gets a bedroom for herself and HF all crams onto the futon/floor? I see nothing wrong with option 1. The AP program is "on par" -- they are members of the family for the year. Yes, they get their own bedroom AND THEY HAVE ONE AT HOME. But when the power goes out for one night, it's an emergency. There have been plenty of posts on here of APs sharing a room with host kids on vacation ...why is that OK and this is not?

The sanctimony on here gets out of control at times. Let's all be reasonable.

Reasonable is giving the AP the bedroom. Mom gets the couch, kids get the futon. Or mom gets the futon, kids get the couch. Or kids sleep on sleeping bags, blankets, whatever on the floor in the living room and pretend it’s camping.

It’s called following the rules. Alternatively, since they should have an emergency fund (and OP classed this as an emergency), they can elect to pay for a cheap motel room. Whatever they choose, FOLLOW THE RULES. I don’t know why this is so hard...

not an actual emergency. noones lives were at risk--but please do go on lamenting about your first world problems.

I don’t consider it an emergency, OP does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah okay then yes she was right to be mad. You didn’t follow the rules.

Imagine if your employer violated an employment law and said “but it was an emergency...”

-HM who would have offered to take the futon and put the kids on the couch

This!

So to get this straight ... there's an emergency power outage. Family comes up with backup plan to go somewhere else and includes AP. The choices are they all cram into one bedroom and the AP sleeps on a futon OR AP gets a bedroom for herself and HF all crams onto the futon/floor? I see nothing wrong with option 1. The AP program is "on par" -- they are members of the family for the year. Yes, they get their own bedroom AND THEY HAVE ONE AT HOME. But when the power goes out for one night, it's an emergency. There have been plenty of posts on here of APs sharing a room with host kids on vacation ...why is that OK and this is not?

The sanctimony on here gets out of control at times. Let's all be reasonable.

Reasonable is giving the AP the bedroom. Mom gets the couch, kids get the futon. Or mom gets the futon, kids get the couch. Or kids sleep on sleeping bags, blankets, whatever on the floor in the living room and pretend it’s camping.

It’s called following the rules. Alternatively, since they should have an emergency fund (and OP classed this as an emergency), they can elect to pay for a cheap motel room. Whatever they choose, FOLLOW THE RULES. I don’t know why this is so hard...

not an actual emergency. noones lives were at risk--but please do go on lamenting about your first world problems.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like the futon was in a separate room (play room). I would have zero problem offering that to my au pair (or sleeping there myself if I was solo).

It’s fine for AP, provided it’s treated as a bedroom, which means kids stay out if she wants privacy or has her things in there. Just easier to give her the bedroom and not worry about kids not having access to the playroom.

It sounds like the futon was in a separate room (play room). I would have zero problem offering that to my au pair (or sleeping there myself if I was solo).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah okay then yes she was right to be mad. You didn’t follow the rules.

Imagine if your employer violated an employment law and said “but it was an emergency...”

-HM who would have offered to take the futon and put the kids on the couch

This!

So to get this straight ... there's an emergency power outage. Family comes up with backup plan to go somewhere else and includes AP. The choices are they all cram into one bedroom and the AP sleeps on a futon OR AP gets a bedroom for herself and HF all crams onto the futon/floor? I see nothing wrong with option 1. The AP program is "on par" -- they are members of the family for the year. Yes, they get their own bedroom AND THEY HAVE ONE AT HOME. But when the power goes out for one night, it's an emergency. There have been plenty of posts on here of APs sharing a room with host kids on vacation ...why is that OK and this is not?

The sanctimony on here gets out of control at times. Let's all be reasonable.

Reasonable is giving the AP the bedroom. Mom gets the couch, kids get the futon. Or mom gets the futon, kids get the couch. Or kids sleep on sleeping bags, blankets, whatever on the floor in the living room and pretend it’s camping.

It’s called following the rules. Alternatively, since they should have an emergency fund (and OP classed this as an emergency), they can elect to pay for a cheap motel room. Whatever they choose, FOLLOW THE RULES. I don’t know why this is so hard...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah okay then yes she was right to be mad. You didn’t follow the rules.

Imagine if your employer violated an employment law and said “but it was an emergency...”

-HM who would have offered to take the futon and put the kids on the couch

This!

So to get this straight ... there's an emergency power outage. Family comes up with backup plan to go somewhere else and includes AP. The choices are they all cram into one bedroom and the AP sleeps on a futon OR AP gets a bedroom for herself and HF all crams onto the futon/floor? I see nothing wrong with option 1. The AP program is "on par" -- they are members of the family for the year. Yes, they get their own bedroom AND THEY HAVE ONE AT HOME. But when the power goes out for one night, it's an emergency. There have been plenty of posts on here of APs sharing a room with host kids on vacation ...why is that OK and this is not?

The sanctimony on here gets out of control at times. Let's all be reasonable.

Exactly, it's "on par" not "on a pedestal"

OP here: I had a frank discussion with my AP about this and she was totally fine with staying at her friend's. She was just a little stressed, that was all. She preferred to stay at her friend's because they were going out anyway and totally got that this was an emergency situation and was able to see that this was an inconvenient situation for *ALL* of us involved. Let's put this to rest, ok sanctihostmommies?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah okay then yes she was right to be mad. You didn’t follow the rules.

Imagine if your employer violated an employment law and said “but it was an emergency...”

-HM who would have offered to take the futon and put the kids on the couch

This!

So to get this straight ... there's an emergency power outage. Family comes up with backup plan to go somewhere else and includes AP. The choices are they all cram into one bedroom and the AP sleeps on a futon OR AP gets a bedroom for herself and HF all crams onto the futon/floor? I see nothing wrong with option 1. The AP program is "on par" -- they are members of the family for the year. Yes, they get their own bedroom AND THEY HAVE ONE AT HOME. But when the power goes out for one night, it's an emergency. There have been plenty of posts on here of APs sharing a room with host kids on vacation ...why is that OK and this is not?

The sanctimony on here gets out of control at times. Let's all be reasonable.

Anonymous wrote:Ah okay then yes she was right to be mad. You didn’t follow the rules.

Imagine if your employer violated an employment law and said “but it was an emergency...”

-HM who would have offered to take the futon and put the kids on the couch

This!