Anonymous wrote:I can see here many host families who like to take advantage of people

I think 'holidays off' is a common cultural clash. I blame the agencies for not explaining and teaching american culture more to aupairs before they arrive. No, working a federal holiday does not equate to being 'a slave'. No, it's not a government edict that everyone in the US has bank holidays off and/or paid holidays in general.

If you are an aupair in a different country, you may need to fit into the culture and the work expectations of that country. Many people work holidays and therefore need childcare on those days. 99.9% of childcare centers and schools in Maryland are open an in-session on Veteran's Day (as an example).

Even if you love your children beyond measure and want to spend 100% of your waking free moments with them, you may still need childcare assistance on holidays. If you are serious about cultural exchange and experiencing the USA with a host family, it shouldn't be torture to spend part of your holidays with your host family. Spending an entire Memorial Day with other aupairs to the inclusion of any american customs passed eating burgers and having beer is not a cultural experience.

Host families will be better off to have the holidays they expect to give their aupairs off written before matching and have the paperwork agreed upon before arrival. There shouldn't be any surprises with this.

To the parent who works holidays, yeah you sound insecure about your schedule but I can only assume it's because aupairs in this forum can be relentless with the b.s. that host familes who can't spend all of a holiday or summer with their children somehow having sacrificed enough for them. That's just naievete. If we all had unlimited vacation and super flexible jobs, I would safely bet that all but 1% of the host families wouldn't need aupairs anyway.

I can see here many host families who like to take advantage of people

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AP gets all federal holidays off in our home. If one of us is not working we are spending time with our children. We like them and are weird like that.

We have to work all federal holidays because of the nature of my job - I worked 4 hours on Thanksgiving. Stop implying that people who have hours-heavy jobs don't like spending time with our children. We actually do, but have pesky things like student loans, mortgages, etc. that require the use of flexible child care. Check your privilege, please.

calm down with your faux outrage. I'm commenting on OUR situation, we do not work on federal holidays, so we are home with our kids. If we had to work we would be working. You are confused due to your own personal issues.

No, you snarkily were boasting about being a better parent and got called out on it so you lashed out. Maybe check your own personal issues.

I'm not the poster, but you seem to be projecting your own insecurities. I too work some holidays, but if I didn't I'd be home with my kids also. Maybe you have some guilt. I saw the post as benign, you take it as a personal attack on your parenting for some odd reason. Shrug.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AP gets all federal holidays off in our home. If one of us is not working we are spending time with our children. We like them and are weird like that.

We have to work all federal holidays because of the nature of my job - I worked 4 hours on Thanksgiving. Stop implying that people who have hours-heavy jobs don't like spending time with our children. We actually do, but have pesky things like student loans, mortgages, etc. that require the use of flexible child care. Check your privilege, please.

calm down with your faux outrage. I'm commenting on OUR situation, we do not work on federal holidays, so we are home with our kids. If we had to work we would be working. You are confused due to your own personal issues.

No, you snarkily were boasting about being a better parent and got called out on it so you lashed out. Maybe check your own personal issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AP gets all federal holidays off in our home. If one of us is not working we are spending time with our children. We like them and are weird like that.

We have to work all federal holidays because of the nature of my job - I worked 4 hours on Thanksgiving. Stop implying that people who have hours-heavy jobs don't like spending time with our children. We actually do, but have pesky things like student loans, mortgages, etc. that require the use of flexible child care. Check your privilege, please.

calm down with your faux outrage. I'm commenting on OUR situation, we do not work on federal holidays, so we are home with our kids. If we had to work we would be working. You are confused due to your own personal issues.

Anonymous wrote:AP gets all federal holidays off in our home. If one of us is not working we are spending time with our children. We like them and are weird like that.

We have to work all federal holidays because of the nature of my job - I worked 4 hours on Thanksgiving. Stop implying that people who have hours-heavy jobs don't like spending time with our children. We actually do, but have pesky things like student loans, mortgages, etc. that require the use of flexible child care. Check your privilege, please.

AP gets all federal holidays off in our home. If one of us is not working we are spending time with our children. We like them and are weird like that.

Anonymous wrote:I don't schedule AP to work when it is a cultural exchange. If she wants to join in and partake in the cultural exchange, she's always welcome but I am not going to schedule her for it. She should join because she genuinely wants to, not because we are making her do it by counting it as work hours. I don't want someone around who rather not join on her own for festivities and holiday activities with us. I don't need to force it on anyone. If they don't care about cultural exchange, why should I?

My thoughts as well. I definitely dont want to force someone to hang out with our family. It is no wonder these posters much force their APs to pretend to want to be with them. They are weird.

Out APs get all federal holidays off. I get them off as well, so no issues for us. With all the federal workers in the area, I'm guessing your situation is a bit of an outlier.

I'm not a slave, and I work on "paid holidays". My employer hired me to work on the days needed, and I expect my AP to realize that's why I am hosting her. If she's unhappy with it, she can find a different host family. She has choices, so therefore she is not a slave.

Anonymous wrote:She should get paid holidays off. She’s not a slave

Of course she’s not. APs aren’t guaranteed holidays off because many employers have to work, ergo they have to work. I’m a nanny, same thing happens.

She should get paid holidays off. She’s not a slave

We listed the specific holidays that she is off in our handbook, which she reviewed during the match interviewing process. We included the major holidays like New Years Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Day. In practice, she gets more holidays than these listed ones because we went away during Presidents Day weekend and Columbus Day weekend. But if we had stayed in town, she would have worked.

I still have our AP work on holidays when I am off because it is nice to have a few hours to go work out and run errands. I don't think it should be tied to the holidays that I am working.

I'm a nurse and don't get those holidays off all the time so neither does my AP. On Monday (Veteran's Day) I had the day off but I had her work anyway for a half day and I got errands done.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our rule is that she gets the days off where both parents have the day off.

We have the same (household) rule, mostly. We do, however, schedule them for family holidays we want them around for. As an AP in our family we want you to be there for opening presents, Christmas breakfast, Christmas dinner etc. The program is supposed to be a cultural exchange, we do want our AP around for "cultural" activities. However, no matter what, we will not go over hours. Now, New Years? Have fun out with your friends. You want to spend Independence day with us? Great. You'd rather watch the fireworks with a friend? Also great.

If we want them around (either as part of the cultural exchange or to watch the kids while we are running around), we schedule them (I try not to host for Thanksgiving but if we do they may have to work a few hours in the morning and I would appreciate if they wanted to spend the day with us). We have made the experience that if we communicate why we schedule them for a certain day/time they usually understand. We also disclose at matching that we expect some involvement in our family life which includes being with us on certain holidays. (We also schedule them for the kids' birthdays. We'd love for them to join us just because but we do want them around so we schedule them)

I agree with you especially because APs have a way of blowing off family invites then whining to the LCC that the family doesn’t want to do the wildly child inappropriate activity AP wants to do...